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SO /adv/ i've fallen for a girl and hooked up with her after a few parties now
main problem: she drinks hardcore, on every fucking party. she gets so wasted that she can barely stand and always has bruises and so on
(she has a past with drugs maybe thats because)
should I try dating her (like 'rehabilitate' her) or leave her and be miserable
>>16853800
leave her, shes a worthless whore. thats not date material, shes just a warm hole for you to use from time to time.
>>16853804
you might be right
but when shes sober she is quite awesome
>>16853816
>damn dude see that drunk dumpster slut in the corner getting felt up by three different guys
>she asked me to choke her and spit in her mouth
>oh yeah thats my girlfriend the love of my life
Can someone help me try to understand why my partner has recently developed a cornucopia of issues seemingly out of nowhere, and how I should deal with them?
I'm 28 and have been with this girl(23) for the past 4 years. We've had a dream relationship; similar interests, constant sex, no real fights, no drama, cool family, etc. I couldn't have asked for a better girlfriend. She's had an excellent childhood/family life and been an overachiever her entire life; graduated HS and undergrad with honors, college scholarship, popular in all her social circles, socialized at parties but never really drank/drugged much, etc.
Everything was peachy until this past fall when she started her last year of grad school. In this time, she's developed several major psychological issues and more. Manic bipolar/depression, bulimia, anxiety, insomnia, hearing voices, risk-taking behavior, self-harm, drug use, questioning her sexuality, and more. She's been clinically diagnosed for most issues and has been on medication for a few months now.
The only reasoning I can get out of her is that graduation is coming soon and she's petrified of adulthood. She feels that she's always had a plan for her life, working hard through school, and has never had much of a chance to enjoy her life. This seems at odds with what I can observe; she hangs out with friends quite regularly (far more than I do) and I've always done or bought anything she's ever wanted.
Everyone around her is terrified of what she's becoming and doesn't have any idea how to deal with it besides just offering unconditional support.
I can understand the anxiety about graduating, but she's been interning for a couple years now and already has job offers lined up. What is there to worry this much about? What can I do to help? I don't want to lose her but it's beginning to drastically impact my life as well.
>>16853797
If she is actually experiencing those things you're talking about, then she has real mental health issues and you won't understand them. Adults that develop schizo-affective disorder often do so at her age or near her age. It may be coincidence that this happens often in grad school but it does. Unconditional support will not fix it. She needs to see someone. Sooner than later.
If you're exaggerating what is happening to her, then maybe it is just stress of graduating.
Actually, sorry I see now that you said she's been diagnosed. There ain't a whole lot you can do for her other than hope the medication helps. And then decide if you want to be with a person that has these issues, because often it gets worse as they get older.
Source: been working with mentally ill adults for many years.
>>16853803
What does schizoaffective disorder imply? What are the main symptoms you should look out for?
>>16853815
It's a combination of things. Delusions/hallucinations mixed with mania or depression. Most of the stuff you said doesn't put her there, but the hearing voices part is what's concerning. Often it can be degenerative and, like I said, gets worse with age. All the other stuff seems workable, but if she is really (and I stress really) hearing voices, that's a bad sign.
Alright /adv/ let's see how much spaghetti there is in those pockets.
Long time ago I knew this girl from high school. We never really talked, but I wasn't really into her or anything like that. Now a couple years later I added her on facebook since all my friends from those years already had her on there, so why not I guess.
Long story short, she's a real cute. Now I have no problems approaching women who I have never really met before, but I feel unable to do so now. Also one of those friends made his move on her at this shitty club while I was present, it didn't work out very well. Now I feel like I'm associated with him and I have no angles to work from.
She's quite the looker, b-but leagues are social constructs r-right?
Any advice?
>>16853766
>Now I feel like I'm associated with him and I have no angles to work from.
This is a bizarre thought. Why do you think it?
I suffer from panic and anxiety now also depression came on. I have weird dissociative periods sporadically who are also weird.
I need to seek help, but my problem is although I am over 18 I'm still insured with my parents for the duration of university. I have top tier insurance but I don't think I can talk to parents about that stuff without having them shrug it off or telling me to apply myself and get my shit together. They have to know it since my father needs to apply the therapy at the insurance company and only he can do it. Already called up the insurance and they confirmed he has to hand in the bills to get the refund. I can pay from my own pocket because its 100€ per 50 minutes.
I even asked this a clinic and what they could do about it but they ignored me and even ignored the second mail with a receiving confirmation.
I am getting worse by the day, uni is suffering under this and the suicidal thoughts are rising.
/adv/ pls halp
>>16853764
Hey anon, are there any free services that you can go to temporarily? Like a free phone where you can just talk to.
Are you ready to confront your parents about it? I feel like that should be your first step. But if that's proving to be difficult (well, I found it hard to tell my folks I had depression / anxiety ), you could just find other, free alternatives. There are support groups online if you just do a quick search.
I hope you get there though.
>>16853785
>>16853785
I already reached out to a psychologist now. I don't think I will tell my parents now tho and only when I get the bill. Perhaps the doc can help me with talking to them. I do want a productive solution and in the end I think its best to confide my parents. Maybe if they see that I went to a doc they take it serious tho.
I want to be successful in life and panic and suicidal thoughts are keeping me the fuck down.
Free psychologist at uni would sent me to a real one or a psychiatrist
Talk to your parents and see if you get them to see how serious this issue is. Mental health is a real serious thing, and you shouldn't give up before you've even started. It's possible they might even surprise you.
I do have some links that might help.
How to find a mental health provider: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/in-depth/mental-health-providers/art-20045530
How to find a therapist: http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/how-to-find-therapist
Dealing with suicidal thoughts: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-help-dealing-with-your-suicidal-thoughts-and-feelings.htm
A list of suicide hotlines by country: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-help-dealing-with-your-suicidal-thoughts-and-feelings.htm
>Eating less and less every week
>Losing weight rapidly
>Completely isolated from friends and most family
>Nobody even really knows I exist
I have lost my sense of agency...
I convince myself I'm a ghost...
Should I just end it already?
do what you want, you are free
Sounds like depression. Don't end it, say what's on your mind. Let it out.
>>16853763
Don't, it's not going to do anything
So there's this redhead in my class and I'm pretty much obsessed with her. She's not really that beautiful but she's got some really cute eyes and I honestly don't know what to do to just stop giving a shit about her.
It's not that I only like her, I also like other girls but I'm too much of a shy asshole to talk to a completely random and ask her number, and the few times I did they didn't go so well.
I already hit the gym and try my best not to talk to her but it's useless.
I tried blocking her on whatsapp but she literally got angry at me and the next day I saw her in the class she was crying. Told her she was toxic and she just told me that "Then she should just kill herself"
Didn't give a shit, just walked away, finished class, hit the gym, and get a message.
And obviously it's her wanting to finish the discussion, and ofc I fell for the bait.
I'm aware she's crazy AF and she's bad for my life but I can't give up on her, please help.
>Told her she was toxic
It's time for bed, Timmy.
>>16853781
Nigga I really need help
Maybe I'm a sociopath idk
>>16853786
youre not a sociopath youre just a teenager who hasnt finished developing mentally and maturing yet
I started to feel really lonely lately, because I don't have friends and never really go outside besides the gym at night, so I thought about renting rooms to other people. Is that a good idea? I never lived with roommates, so I don't know what I should take care of and what is important. Are there any specific rules I should establish before doing it?
>>16853723
that is the worst fucking way to make friends. literally the worst. go get involved with a hobby.
>>16853723
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, do this to make friends. I advise most of my young coworkers not to move in with friends as it will quite likely destroy the friendship (not always, but usually).
Have you tried the usual advice for making friends (Hobby, community work, faith based, etc.)?
>>16853734
I just thought that being "forced" to be around someone could maybe develop a friendship between us, I'm not even using most of the space in my apartment, so I thought it would be a good idea. I tried usual stuff, but most of my hobbies are pretty obscure and I was just extremely awkward while doing community work, so I stopped. And online friends never worked out for me either.
TL;DR: Is it unfair to make boyfriend sleep on couch for picking a fight when I'm paying most of the rent/bills and I paid for the bed (and most of the furniture) in the house?
Back Story: My boyfriend is a felon. When he was 18 he wrote a bad check that bounced for enough the recipient could press charges, so they did. He had a shitty lawyer, unhelpful parents, and spent a little time in prison.
We've been living together about 10 months. He's had a bad run of luck. Had a shitty job I'd been trying to get him to quit because it's AWFUL. Turns out it's hard for felons to get decent jobs. He got fired for attitude when he complained about retaliatory behavior of one of his supes. No biggie, I said. I was already paying most of the rent and bills, I didn't mind footing them all until he got back on his feet.
Now for today: I am home sick with the Crud. I'm asthmatic so everything goes straight to my lungs. He goes to a party, gets drunk, his car gets towed b/c he parked in an employee parking spot. He gets a ride home, and then picks a fight with me because at the party one of my friends was talking about the drunk parties we used to have as teenagers, and it's SO UNFAIR that he went to prison for what he did wrong but I didn't...
So I get mad. Of course I get mad. That was 15 years ago and why would he pick a fight about that? I kick him out, lock the door, and he FLIPS HIS SHIT. He says "we're through" and because I locked the door "I broke up with HIM". Later he turns to anger and says... a lot of very nasty and hurtful things through the door.
So my question is: Is it unreasonable that I kicked him out? Is it unreasonable to ask someone to sleep in another room when they've intentionally upset you? He was drunk so there was no way we were going to have a rational argument about whatever was REALLY eating him up. I just want to know if my actions were unreasonable and unfair.
>>16853711
Sounds like you think yourboyfriend is a loser, in the entire story you just told you didn't mention any bad aspects about yourself in the relationship, you just listed tons of shit he did. If you have no fault in it and he really did all this stuff then fuck him, he sounds like a shithead.
Your first mistake, which is really typical of women in modern western society, is that you picked a shitty mate. Women are generally pretty dumb, and they're very good at choosing bad mates. Why do you think in most societies throughout history they've strongly restricted your ability to freely fuck whoever you want? Who you choose to mate with has very real outcomes for society, and is largely why modern society is as bad as it is right now.
>>16853718
I'll be honest with you, I can't think of anything I've done wrong in this whole situation. I don't pressure him about rent or bills when he doesn't get me the money. I'm a slob, but he knew that before he ever moved in with me and that wasn't what he started the fight about nor has ever been a subject of argument. I tend to pride myself on being very reasonable. "That's fair" is a phrase I use a lot in arguments. I've tried very hard to be understanding and supportive when he's going through shit.
But unfortunately that doesn't answer my question; is it unreasonable to ask someone to sleep in another room when they're drunk and fighting with you?
What would this guy do, after I stopped communicating him all of a sudden?
Imagine a situation.
We both had conflicted feelings about each other, but none confessed, because of mixed signals. We never talked about the nature of our relationship too, only neutral topics, mostly fb messaging (we knew each other irl, but too introverted).
We were finishing school and going different ways, so it was fucking pointless to tie him down, even emotionally, imo.
So we entered distant universities, I tried to be his friend, but I couldn't accept a thought that he'd just fuck his groupmate on a party, develop feelings for her, start asking me what girls like and shit.
Couldn't handle all of this, couldn't spit anything out, couldn't think about anything else.
Then I just erased him from his life. Immature bitch, yep. Never thought he would mind any of it somehow. Like he was smart, tall and not poor, girls from the uni would comfort him instantly.
Afterwards, he and his best friend told me he was depressed and became a shut-in, but what if they were pulling my leg?
If not, I feel like a scum and a person with zero emotional intelligence.
I've been in a similar situation. I don't think you were the only reason if he did become a shut-in. I suspect it was a number of reasons and you were just one of them. It was wrong of you not to discuss your feelings with him, but you already know that. There's no time like the present to get in touch with him and explain what happened and ask him for forgiveness.
I honestly am not as attracted to my girlfriend anymore and she needs to lose weight. How do I put this across to her without sounding like a huge asshole?
Tell her it's unhealthy to be overweight, and she should watch her diet. It's as simple as that. Put emphasis that it's a matter of health.
Getting fat shows you have very low self control and don't care about your body.
>>16853709
tell her she should come workout with you, if you don't workout good luck telling her that she should
pro tip: even asking her to go to the gym with you is likely to start and argument, you're probably not going to change her, I would dump her and begin searching
>>16853715 is probably correct. This is coming from a chunky lady. And I DO go to the gym and know it needs to come off.
The best tactic is to take the subject like you'd like to tackle it *together*. Make it a couples activity. If that doesn't work and she gets upset, her self-esteem is already too low for you to ever fix it.
I want to get a job working as a crewmember in a fast food chain restaurant like McDonalds.
The problem is I'm 25, ex-neet, no experience working at jobs of any kind.
Have food handlers permit. Flunked out of cooking college.
Don't care about higher education, all I want is a humble little fast food wage slave job.
And don't try to tell me bout some other esoteric job that I couldn't get in a million years, this isn't your Japanese anime so fuck off.
So anyhow, I've been applying, just started applying this week, how long should it take to get a response, (if they actually plan to give me one)
And do they read online applications? Cause I've been doing that too, as well as going in the restaurants. Any other tips are greatly appreciated.
>>16853699
delete this thread man
About a week or two, be forewarned you will fucking hate it and probably despise getting up in the morning because of it, if you're like me, just power through it for at the very least 6 months, at that point, the good news is, your foots in the door and you can probably slide into some slightly better jobs from there, and rinse and repeat, except try to stay as long as you can, or for what's necessary for you to move up at least, at places even though you'll get sick of them, just because they look at that shit on resumes, won't want someone who leaves jobs every 6 months
>>16853699
top kekkles m8, mcdonalds is one of the most prestigious culinary institutions in the WORLD, a fortune 500 company and king among casual dining restaurants. want makes you think your neckbeard ass makes the grade? I know first hand the recruiting process is very difficult (less than .001% of McApplicants get McHired, and most fail within the first year from the pressure placed on you daily.
So, I was taking a shit just before and after I'd done shitting I felt like there was something still in there. I strained and at first nothing came out, but then a fleshy lump appeared (or maybe I'm paranoid). It was just chilling there, didn't hurt or anything and as soon as I stopped straining it went back where it was before and wasn't heard from again.
Is this a hemorrhoid or something more serious? Am I gonna fucken die lads?
>>16853689
That was either a hemorrhoid or the inside of your sphincter. Don't strain so much when you are taking a dump, that is a large part of what leads to hemorrhoids.
>>16853697
Will it go away if I stop aggravating it?
>16853697
And if it's the inside of my sphincter doesn't that mean I have rectal prolapse? Or is it just the inside of my sphincter saying hi?
Seriously considering getting a male order bride in the next five years when I hit 30.
Anyone have any idea where to find them for cheap? What's the average price?
Would prefer a low maintenance girl from a poor country.
>>16853662
>mail order bride
>cheap
>low maintenance
Why? You're old and hence more attractive to girls now. Why a mail order bride?
>>16853662
you shouldnt resort to mail order until 40 or 50
So. I have this problem. I share the floor of a house with two other guys. I'm 25. They are 20-24. The one is great, cool dude. Whatever. The other is a neet gamer no job food bank, sleeps during the day and then wakes up around 11:30pm and games until literally 8am in the morning.
So I come home and try to go to sleep. (Designated quiet time is 11:00-8am. which on the lease states "no excessively loud music" )
But all I can hear is his faggy, voice. Laughing. Talking to his friends about gay shit. (This guy is a piece of trash.) And half the problem is, that he fluxuates between being bearable and getting excited. The walls are paper thin. I can hear the joysticks on his game console if I wanted to. I can hear every word. His voice makes my blood boil. Why am I being kept awake by this worthless drain on society? I walk past his room it fucking STINKS.
You get in proximity of him and you just pull back like its radioactive. And his laughs have such loud peaks. I've knocked on the guys door like 6 times now and asked him to keep it down. Had the landlord explain the concept of STFU to him. But the landlord has been away visiting family all month.
Am I in the wrong for expecting pretty near dead silence when the walls are paper thin?
I want to yell at him but then I worry he'll spit in my food or something or that I might be somewhat in the wrong that he's making too much noise. I've always hated noise when im trying to sleep. I cant lock down a sleep schedule because this piece of shit just games all night.
>>16853644
get earplugs you dumb bitch
Get earplugs. I've dealt with similar things and I couldn't make it stop without violence.
>>16853651
So I should just break his legs. Thanks
>girl has been leading me on for months
>think shes just playing hard to get, she teases n shit
>one day i see her making out with another guy in her car
>instead of getting sad, i get mad
>i go and fuck another girl and we live happily ever after
>original girl's guy breaks it off with her and she comes crawling back
>lol no way fag
did I do good /adv/? For once in my life i followed the general advice given to me on this board and i actually came out smellin like a rose. It wasnt just a meme
>>16853630
Good job anon
Joke's on you, do you really think this is going to make you happy in the long run? Sure, you feel like a king now, but you still didn't get the girl you wanted.
>>16853634
Ya know, this thought occurred to me, but then i realized that alot of shit she did was covered up by the fact that I had a thing for her.
With this new girl, i knew her inside and out before i even got tied to her. No surprises here
![mental-health[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/OMDatok.jpg "mental-health[1]")
