Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1498. page
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What are some major differences between the high school and university experience?
>>16855308
Hs is full of kids and if kids screw up they get a slap on the wrist or help.
Uni is full of adults who are expected to be able to fend for themselves. Barring gross misconduct you will see no intervention whatsoever.
If you're used to dragging your feet, you will crash and burn.
In college there's a much wider expanse of opportunity. You can conceivably take many different approaches to your life. The structure mostly comes down to your choices and your ambition. That having been said, one of the choices is to stick around the people who act exactly like they did while in high school. There would honestly be no major difference in your life whatsoever if you chose to hang around them.
My college life was way different than in high school. Lots of impulsive decisions, lots of adventure. The only overarching decision I made was that whatever I did, I resolved to be good at it. That included my classes so my grades never slipped as a result. But I did some of the party/drinking/drugs stuff, some of the "let's pretend like we're actual adults" life, physical fitness, networking, random ass classes, etc. All of it. I wasn't even close to having that much freedom in high school. But I'm serious when I say that opportunity is the key. You don't HAVE to do what I did. You have just as much opportunity to take a one-track approach to your time there.
Is it true that people who party and drink all the times will end up cheating?
>be me 20f dating 25yo bf for 6 months
>bf had sex with 12 girls before me and I have been with 3
>he cheated on his second to last gf (one night thing, no sex) and he broke up with her the next day
>I don't like to drink and party
>he drinks and goes out to bars/house parties or clubs 2x week
>I have never gone out with him during those times
>he comes home at 3am
>he hangs out with a mixed group of friends (he says the girls are mostly taken or lesbians)
>sometimes he hangout with these girls only and he will be the only guy in the group
>all of his friends know about me (I know they know)
>have met his parents already
>he has a very high libido and is open when it comes to doing stuff in bed
>lately, however, we haven't had much sex b/c I have been on birth control (we used to have sex before many times, though)
>he is also very adventurous and is a risk taker
As a 21 y.o. Guy with a high sex drive and who used to party a shit ton like that, yeah there's a good chance he's hitting a hot piece of ass on the side, no definite evidence obviously, and he could be completely innocent, but I'd keep my eyes peeled if I were you, I know being in his situation I'd probably fuck them if I wasnt getting any from my gf and if they were attractive I probably wouldn't hold back at all.
Throw alcohol in the mix, and even if he knows it's a bad idea sober he'll still probably do it. That's what the party lifestyle is all about desu. Forgetting all your responsibilities and problems, and having nights you won't remember, or basically nights you have no responsibility over dumb decisions you make. You're right on the dot, pretty much everyone in the partying/drinking scene is hooking up/cheating
>>16855303
>Dates Chad
>Complains about Chad being Chad
>>16855333
Nice trips
Thank you for the input, anon. I'm scared of that happening so I've been holding myself back from getting really attached to him. I told him already that his drinking bothers me and that I won't take our relationship to the next level because of this.
Also how can I keep my eyes peeled since I don't have interest in his partying lifestyle? I'm supposed to meet all his friends soon but I can't always be with him when he goes out. He gets drunk + he is often in very rowdy and noisy places so he does't text me during those times. He is probably too drunk to txt.
When you were still partying, anon, did you ever have a gf you cheated on b/c you were drunk? Did you have some friends in relationships who never cheated during nights out?
I don't have much experience with partying and drinking, I'm usually home or out having dinner/watching a movie with one or two gfs. I don't really know how to set bouderies here b/c I have no experience in what I'm dealing with.
So I had planned a trip to Destin for me and my college friends so we could take a trip away from school together during spring break. I had made sure it was OK with my parents but now the trip is canceled because my parents don't want me driving anyone. Apparently now they being sued by all state in an accident caused by my brother over a year ago.
As a result my parents, and all state request that I don't drive anyone.
I'm really bummed. And I had to bring the news to my friends who are in turn also bummed.
I don't know what to do about it. I wish I could fix everything but I just don't know where to go from here. I don't think ass kissing with fix this.
Fuck it. Finish school, get your own insurance. It's only a trip, not the end of the world.
The best solution to home difficulties is employment and detachment. Work your ass off, ensure you are studying a PROFITABLE career track and move forward.
If you ever have kids, don't put them on your insurance. They can drive a beater and get liability only. Millions of people, self included, do just that.
>>16855294
Find an airline that flies into Destin–Fort Walton Beach Airport or Destin Executive
I'd try Southwest
850 fag representing
>>16855294
I fuckin love Destin.
Haven't been in 10+ years.
Is it still dank down there?
How the fuck do I get to enjoy my life again?
I can't find anything that interests me. Everything sounds like a dumb and shallow stuff for kids. I can't find a single book, movie or video game that might entertain me. Sports got boring after finishing college.
I'm slowly losing my taste of life. I always tried to be an alpha with a lot of friends, but it gets tiring as fuck. I don't really want to pretend that I like going to parties or get drunk. All of this stuff I do just to have a lot of friends and spend friday nights with some people makes me fucking sick. I'm even losing my sex drive. My whole life is a fucking imitation just because I didn't like being a beta - I have a girlfriend just because I don't want to feel like a piece of shit.
Jesus christ.
Who fucking cares just do shit ya fucki g retard
>>16855287
This shit isn't fun anymore, that's the problem
It's getting boring and exhausting
$10 says there are things that you're turning down for made up reasons, when in reality you're just anxious or insecure about trying them. You'd probably enjoy the shit out of being amazing at something very difficult or significant, but the challenge can be a huge turn-off. Get over it. Do something worth living for if you're this desperate to find meaning in your existence.
>At convenience store
>Beautiful girl in front of me buying cigarettes
>Try not to look at her
>Make my purchase and leave
>Walk past same girl getting into her car
>Takes off her sunglasses
>Tells me I have "beautiful eyes"
>Get shocked and can only say "Thank you! That's sweet."
>Get in my car
>Exchange one last smile as she drives past
>Get incredibly sad because I will never see her again
How do you guys learn to let things go? I am not used to this.
Just get on with life, unless all you do is browse 4chan all day. Tbh you should put you're mind on positive things
>>16855282
it's a small world, there's a chance you'll run into her again at some point
I'm on the Basketball team, I have a good amount of friends. WTF do I do???
I have no idea what PSD is, but tell them to fuck off.
>>16855277
What are your grades like?
If they're shit, SPD is probably the excuse your parents are leaping to.
Why do they think you have SPD, and what on earth do basketball and your friends have to do with it?
so this happened yesterday:
>be me, 26yo kinda junkie
>live with 6 ppl
>at party from some roomie of mine
>boring af cuz roomie is boring
>soletsgethammered.avi
>ppl smoking weed, I'm in as usual
>get paranoid, lock into my room
>feel really crappy, sick, sweaty, weak
>too paranoid to be able to leave my room
>puke in basket
>better.
>stomach rumbles, oh oh
>instant urge to shit, but can't leave room
>so next thing, i'm sitting on puke-basket
>shit in basket, smell of shit makes me puke in it again
>fucking room full of shit and puke odor
>more paranoia
>get trashbag, knot it, throw out of window
>go in fetus position, suffer a lot, finally manage to sleep
>next day, leave house
>pick up my shitpukebag from street into garbage bin
>same shit every day
i cant decide:
a) is this some cool funny shit or
b) is this fucked up and should tell me to stop?
tell me
>>16855275
I'd say it's more of a wake-up call.
>>16855275
it's both funny and fucked up. you should probably quit before it escalates to something that isn't funny and is just deadly.
Is it gay to fuck or be in a relationship with a transperson if they have a vagina?
>>16855273
If you have to ask, then yes.
>>16856221
perfectly said.
>>16855273
If you're attracted to the opposite sex, and they look and act like the opposite sex, then no of course it's not gay. Who gives a shit anyway, fuck whomever you want. Only insecure little babies get their panties in a wad over whether they're gay or not. Go, be free.
Been with a woman who is married for a little over a year. Just curious on those guys out there who may have been in a similar position. Did she leave her husband for you in the end?
are you bi?
Im not sharing my story for a pity party, I'm sharing it to try and get a better understanding of how to dig myself out of the hole I'm in, to see if anyone can relate or give me advice.
I skipped out on learning how to be a social human being. I never really made friends or had any desire to, so when I got my first computer freshman year and moved to another state, it was paradise. I woke up, went to school, went home and sat in front of a monitor for eleven hours until I fell asleep and did it again. I lived with my dad who worked night shifts, so I only ever saw him for two or three hours on saturday and sunday. I spoke so little at school most of my peers thought I was mute or autistic or had some sort of disorder. I passed three classes because my teachers were convinced I was retarded. I didn't have a problem with it at the time. This went on until senior year when I just got too bored of doing that every day, so I went and bought a bag of weed, found a group of stoners and offered to share. Drugs were how I began my social education, and they're still the only real thing that keeps me in contact with other human beings. I'm now 20.
The root of my problem as I see it is that I just never learned that basic set of social skills, what's socially right and wrong, whats awkward and whats not. I started channing around sophomore year and that was the only social exposure I had for years, I'm still struggling to adjust to how different the real world is and how most people act towards each other than on the internet, in games and in places like this. When I lost my virginity, I was already bored by sex just through the sheer amount of fucked up porn I've desensitized myself to. I've fucked a handful of times since and haven't once been able to come close to getting off, with guys or girls.
This has been my life for basically all of what I can remember now, for some reason middle school and earlier just isn't in my memory anymore. Cont.
I've come to terms with who I am. I know what I can and cant do, but over the last two years it seems like an increasingly bigger subconscious part of me won't have that. It's started to emerge in every social situation I go into. It started off as me trying to act a certain way, to copy what I see other people doing to be succesfully social, to just be able to blend in and operate without tension in my job and daily life. But somewhere along the line, it's like my fake persona started taking a path of its own. I know too many people to keep track of now, I'm out all the fucking time partying, doing very drug under the sun, 'livin' it up'. But in every one of these situations its still like I'm just in the backseat, silently watching everythingunfold while that other me goes on autopilot, controlling and managing my social life for me without any effort on my part. I'm just a passenger in my body, watching out a window while the driver does what he wants. Up until now I've been too bored, cared too little about what goes on in my life to do anything but ride the wave.
Recently though, I've started to despise what the driver's become. He's riddled with narcisism, everything he(I) do or react to is ocused on me. Or not even so much that as, I'm focusing on how I'm going to react, what everything means to me, what I can get out of my current interaction, or jsut obsessing over how good I(he) has gotten at fooling everyone into thinking I'm a real person. When I lay down to sleep, I think of all the things I said and did to be socially acceptable and I fucking cringe, I want to cry and beat myself for what I've become. and it's at the point where I cant control it anymore. I'm fully aware of what's unfolding, what I'm becoming, but every time I open my mouth I'm powerless to control the spastic cringy fuckwit that relies on other people's reactions to satisfy my narcisism. Everything Ido is centered on trying to get people to notice me, but its not even me they're looking at. The only times I ever feel like I'm showing other people who I truly am is when I'm online.
I'm losing control. My emotions are slipping away from me, and the other me is getting bigger and louder every day. I've become the popular mega tool that I despised so much throughout my life.
What do I do next? Am I Cracking apart? Is this some type of schizophrenia or something? I'm desperate, I'm lost, I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. All those years of precise control and observation are going out the window. What comes next?
>group presentation with 3 others
>qt in group
>one guy in group does nothing
>qt just sends thumbs up enjoi to everything he says
>send her 'the sass is real lool' as a joke
>seen
Ive got gf, I wasn't trying to flirt was just having banter but she didn't reply. Why is she being awkward. Am I the awkward one? Lol
You are the awkward one. I have no idea how I'd reply to that either. Thumbs up emoji too, maybe? It's a pointless thing to say and it doesn't call for any obvious response.
>>16855210
You say you weren't flirting but it's pretty obvious by your substanceless message and emotional reaction that you expected some response from her indicating that she likes you. Be honest, do you really have a gf?
>>16855229
I have a gf I honestly I wasn't haha, I was pretty high and thought it would be funny seeing as the response was pretty blunt to this guy, felt bad for him even If he's done no work. Guess it just seemed weird haha my intention was to be funny, I don't want to get with this girl
tl;dr girlfriend's best friend broke up. She has been talking to her best friend's ex about his emotions and about his failed relationship. He has talked
with her alone in her doorm room and my gf hasn't mentioned this to me when I asked about the ex. Should I be worried about my gf cheating or is she
probably just talking to this guy about his breakup?
I've been dating my gf for about 6 months. We live in the same doorm building and she is roommates with her best friend. Her best friend recently broke
up with a guy (lets call him Jacob). Jacob was pretty hung up over this breakup and was having trouble moving on even when my gf's best friend got a
new boyfriend. Once when I had a chance and felt very insecure, I checked my gf's MacBook and looked through some of her text messages.
I found out that my gf and Jacob have been texting frequently and that he has come to her dorm room to talk to her alone apparently
when my gf's roommate (her best friend) was away. She has never mentioned this to me when I have asked her about Jacob.
Am I wrong to worry that my gf might be cheating on me with this guy? Is it more likely that she's just
talking to this guy about his feelings and him moving on from his breakup? Am I too insecure?
Bump, help an insecure bro out.
>>16855198
Gigantic red flags the size of Texas senpai.
Evacuate immediately. Say it's you. Say you have the trust problems. You sorta do cause you looked through her texts.
Eh, sounds pretty sketchy to me mate. Though you can't really be sure. If she doesn't say anything about him, though, that's probably a sign. All depends on her type of personality.
I don't know if I can love someone
Your not missing out on anything, just like yourself.
>>16855201
I don't know what to tell my gf
I have diagnosed clinical depression, and it does not make me a special snowflake in any way, but it comes and goes very harshly. I get extremely sad and lonely and everything crashes down on me for about 3 to 4 hours, and as though from nowhere, my mood increases to where I forgot why I was hurting.
I'd like to say that it's caused by episodes of hurt in my life, but that's not true, it just makes them hurt worse.
I'm pretty lonely and I'm trying to get a girlfriend, eventually, and I don't think this is going away anytime soon.
(This may or may not have broken a previous relationship I had into pieces.)
Do you think this will be a problem?
It seems that strangers and newly-met people are sympathetic at first, but after talking to me about it, they become ghosts.
What is the healthy amount of talking about this with new relationships/friendships?
Bump please.
This sounds stupid, but I need guidance on how to talk about this. I don't want to not trust someone by not telling them, but I don't want to tell them if it makes me less attractive.
>>16855185
>new relationships/friendships
>new
You don't. Before people get emotionally invested in you overtime, they will back off if you aren't happy/chill 24/7.
>>16855646
Thank you. That's very reassuring and helpful. Thank you for this post.
Hey guys, I need help. I've finally got to meet and flirt with my dream girl. We both admit we like each other... but she flirts with others guys also. Example, facetiming another guy after I tell her goodnight and head to bed. I've been ignoring her, trying to figure out what to say to her about her flirt with other guys, whilst flirting with me also. I wanted to be more than just her third wheel... help me figure out what to say /b/ros, please.
>will be saying this in person
Just because she flirted with you doesn't mean you own her....
Have you actually done anything more with her? Like gone on an actual date?
Even if you did, she's still free to flirt with whoever the fuck because you still don't own her.
On top of that, some people are naturally flirty and you either come to terms with that, or you don't and you find someone else with whom you don't get jealous over every little thing about.
BTW, I do not want to be with her anymore
>>16855181
What relationship do you even have together dumb frogposter?
Is there actual dating involved or is this some woman you've only seen through a computer screen.
![sad-man-silhouette-on-bench[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/soxfi8m.jpg "sad-man-silhouette-on-bench[1]")
