Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1502. page
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>be shy girl
>live a normal life
>be anything less than a 100% extroverted man
>die alone
Just make a fucking effort and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
>>16854639
Go back to /normie9k/ you faggot.
>>16854639
Tfw.
Although from what I gather, men are actually much much harsher critics of themselves than they will ever let you know, and will readily tear themselves to shreds over any tiny flaw they see in themselves.
They're also phenomenally brave and able to completely ignore the loud voices screaming YOU'RE A FAKE BRO YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE LOVED YOU'RE FUNCTIONALLY LESS HUMAN THAN EVERYONE AROUND YOU in their heads.
Really you just need to pull up your pants and talk to women even if you fear it worse than death.
Source: I am an introvert male.
I am 16 years old, and on March 1st, I plan to kill myself. Now before you begin to yap on about how I won't do it, or how I shouldn't do it, that's not what I want.
I have already considered the obvious options I have, and the most popular like; overdose, self mutilation, hanging, etc.
But those just don't seem right for me. After being in this shithole we call earth for all this time, I think I need a little peace.
From what I know, slitting your wrists hurt like hell, and I have a fear of not being able to breathe. So if any of you have any painless suggestions, I'm all ears.
Thanks.
(Picture not related)
>>16854630
Underageb&.
Get off my board, reeee.
OK, you're not even 21 your brain doesn't even fucking work right yet and you don't know a damned thing about 'what you want'.
If you still feel bad 9 years from now, fucking do it. I don't think you will.
Try drugs OP. They helped me climb out of my depression. It's still a struggle, but I'm improving, and I no longer want to kill myself
>>16854658
Same. I was driven to kill myself and even attempted it several times until I started smoking weed. Still think of killing myself, although I'm no longer as likely to pick up a knife or a gun anymore.
Sup /adv/
Petty committed relationship problems inbound.
>have boyfriend
>boyfriend and I hang out like once a week since he has a full-time job and I'm in school
>Invite him over for tacos at my place last Friday, he doesn't come because he's too tired
>be disappointed because I'd had an entire date planned out, but whatever, he's tired
>we hang out Saturday and everything's fine
>next weekend, he's working late Friday again
>text him in the evening because I don't know his schedule this week, ask if he wants to hang out
>he's like 'okay sure, late night because I'm working'
>text him 'do you want to do tacos?' because if he does I need ingredients/to do dishes/etc
>no reply
>decide to work on a paper instead of getting taco stuff
>he shows up at 10:00 pm wondering where tacos are
>I tell him that I didn't get anything because I didn't get a reply
>he gets annoyed and tells me I didn't plan well
>mfw I get defensive and tell him that he could have texted me at any point
>he says 'I was teaching, I don't text when I teach, you replied too late and know that, you could have planned better'
>get upset because what the fuck, he can plan things too
>tell him that I was reluctant to just go out and get taco ingredients because of last weekend and I wasn't sure if he was just going to get tired and go home instead
>he's says 'that's no excuse, you have to do 80/20 all the time, it's how it works.'
>'80/20 is when you put in 80% effort and expect 20% back, you know, like I get from you'
>shut up at this point, but fuck
Idk man, him telling me he only gets a 20% return on the effort he puts in is...upsetting. Is the 80/20 thing true (for relationships in general) and if so, how can I improve my 'return' rate?
>>16854626
You both goosed it. One don't prep for stuff then pose questions, it's a setup for failure. Two he feels bad when you get upset and then feels worse when he goosed it for not replying. Then even worse when you remind him about last time.
You're both upset and saying dumb shit you don't mean. Clam down and plan stuff more thoughtfully in future. Communicate and shit.
>>16854626
hey hey you you I don't like your boyfriend
hey hey you you I think you need a new one
optimally speaking you don't put a metric on effort given and received. but if you put in effort and creativity and all you get in response is douchieness I would personally think it ain't worth it.
a more rational response from him would have been, "I'm sorry. let's order pizza"
>>16854633
Thanks anon. I'll definitely try to communicate better, and this is something we have problems with.
>>16854638
That's true. I could definitely put in more effort, but recently I've been getting burned out because ever since we started officially 'dating', I feel like he's been taking a lot of the nice things I do for him (buy him his favorite foods without him asking, rubbing him for hours when he gets sore, paying for dinner a majority of the time when he wants to go out, etc.) for granted, and he gets mad when I don't go above and beyond those 'regular' things I've done and still do.
And yes, the pizza thing would have been rational. If this happens again, I'll suggest it. Thank you.
Two options:
1. Watch as much porn as you want, but you can never masturbate again
2. Masturbate as much as you want, but you can never watch porn again
Which would you choose and why? I'm asking because a friend's bf chose the first option
Your friend need to find a new bf, cos that's saaad.
>>16854618
Yeahhh there's other stuff that's happened that makes me worry about their relationship, but this was one of the biggest things that made me worry
>>16854614
B senpai.
Porn isn't that great, I get off to naughty stories and ~imagination~ just fine.
The bad element of jerkin off to porn is the porn. Unrealistic expectations, lowered self worth and ED are not fun.
>Despite the recent events, I do still love you. But things just got to be too much for me to handle, and I hope you understand it, even if you don't agree with it.
>But I don't know how I feel.
>I don't like the way things are now, and I'm not necessarily happy with how things were before (when we were constantly at each others throats and always fighting and always mad).
>I do love you. Even if I do not know what in the hell is going through my mind.
>I have a lot of work and I feel like I am always busy and always stressed out far more than a lot of other people.
Is the best thing in this situation to just let go?
We've been together for years, and even though its her final semester of school, we've made it through when she had tougher/busier schedules. Basically because of stress, we started fighting. She graduates in 3 months so I don't understand why she would have doubts now of all times, and not know what she wants. It makes me think there's someone else, but she swears there isn't. I know our fights were emotionally taxing but we've been split up for 2 weeks now after she said she doesn't know what she wants and she still feels this same way. I love her and don't want to give up, but is there really anything I can do at this point?
Bump. I just want some sort of direction.
>>16854606
I guess this will be my last bump. I know no one can tell me what she's thinking but I just wanted something.
Graduation is a scary time. It isn't necessarily that she doesn't want you or what you've had. Life is changing. Give her space. If you come back together, it was truly meant to be. GL
>work at a grocery store for a few years
>go over and above fairly often, get along with most
>get trained for supervision, as in handling all employees in my department, fielding angry customers, and keeping an eye on the store/helping where needed
>going fine, really enjoying it despite the stress
>suddenly find out I'm not getting a raise from my already-low wages by doing supervision, said no raise will come besides our yearly raise, and I'll get a cashier's raise ($.30)
Now, I make $.50 more than the cashiers due to working a cash office position too, but am I justified in being pissed? Supervision is stressful as hell, and frankly I feel used.
Should I just start looking for another job? Is it even worthwhile to make an ultimatum like "Unless I get supervisor pay for my supervision shifts, I won't do them" ? Any advice for handling it, or why I should/shouldn't be upset?
Yes you can do better
You sound young (less than 25 y/o) OP. I was once like you and believed that doing more responsibility would make more money, but it should always be opposite.
I got taken advantage of by my managers for doing the schedule for them, and other various paperwork ordeals. I also volunteered to do on call stuff for weekends as well. I thought there would be a senior level opening that the company once had, and I did what I could to work my way into it.
The position never opened due to budget cuts, and no one got raises that year.
So I was getting paid the same as my colleagues but all the responsibility and bitching of schedule conflicts was being doled out to me.
Don't be like the past me. If management wants you to do extra things, then explain to them you will only if you are compensated appropriately.
some of you may remember a thread up 2 weeks ago
anyways, date went great, kissed her, felt her up, fucked her second date, she swore up and down she was a virgin, bled and everything.
Third date anal, bought some cheap engagement ring yesterday, wake up today, drive to her place with the ring, she says she's not ready for a relationship (what the fuck !!?!?!?!!?!?!)
Already FUCKED myself by deleting all my old hookups from my phone
>>16854581
who wants to get engaged after two weeks? jesus man.
holy fuck dude, i could meet the most amazing man in the world and i would not get engaged that quickly. slowwwww down
>>16854581
You jumped the shark famile.
Spend more time together and do some life shit like cohabiting and meeting family. You're supposed to show you can actually be a husband before you try to slap the ring on them.
Hey guys, over the last couple of years I've got into edging. I'm 19 now, and I basically never masturbate 'normally'. Rather than jerking over once every 1-2 days like most guys my age, I will leave it 4-7 days then have an 'edging day' where I will edge inbetween all the things I do in the day then finish in the evening, or sometimes go to sleep without finishing and continue the next day, which can mean I have spent 8-12 hours edging in the buildup to an orgasm. My gf is at a different uni not far away and I get to see her one every few weeks, and we do a lot of edging related stuff too.
Is this stuff really that detrimental in the long term? That's to say, I've not experienced any negative effects across the last 2-3 years, but I'm looking for some experience or knowledge of what can happen 10, 15, 20 years from now.
Thanks.
>>16854548
Probably fewer effects than masturbating multiple times a day. All you're doing is getting hard and not finishing. That happens to me like 3 times a day.
>>16854555
It's quite a lot more than getting hard and not finishing, or at least I'd think it is. It can feel pretty backed up down there which I like, and my arousal levels go through the roof. Feels like I'm doing a dopamine OD somehow
Fuck you OP, I wish I could edge but literally every time I try it I just can't stop myself. The idea of it turns me on so much though, so now I'm gonna have to go wank. But not edge though, because I can't.
Im 19, have had 2 gf's before but no dating experience. Saw the most beautifull girl on train a few months ago, see her around 6 times a week in train now and my friend knows her a littlw because they used to go to the same school. Know her name but not sure how to contact her without being a creep. Any advice? Pic unrelated
>>16854547
"Hey...Jen? You know John, right? I think we met at [fill in some plausible place John and her might have met]? How've you been?"
Here's what I've got for you, Anon. Since I have been in a similar situation, I have decent, but obvious advice. I saw this stunning girl on a subway when I was visiting Detroit and I regretted not talking to her ever since. I suggest you observe her a little bit, just because she's beautiful, they aren't usually what you dream them to be. Is she kind to people, would she offer someone her seat if there were none left? Maybe you could walk by her and drop something, you can tell a lot about a person if they pick it up and give it back to you. If she does, then look into her eyes and smile, you could go for the charming approach of, "thanks, love." (doll, sweetheart, dear, etc. Don't use babe, baby, or darling. That makes it come off as douchy or too forward) If she sits back down, offer her to come sit with you and chat because you cannot get over the color of her eyes. (Girls eat that shit up) Whether you wanna come of as funny, shy, cute, charming, or whatever, you decide.
Good luck!
>>16854582
First of all thanks for answering and helping out! Second of all, I already thought of this and she seems quite nice. Based on watching her stand up as there wasnt enough space in the train and standing up for an elderly lady.
It is however quite difficult to start a conversation or see how she would react to me since its usually so crowded you cant walk ib the train. Ill still try it on a less busy day though!
Btw sorry for the subway girl you liked
How do I stop being inferior? I feel like I'm holding girls back when I date them. Here's what's wrong with me
>skinny fat as fuck
>man tits
>used to be really fat
>have stretch marks everywhere
>sweat excessively no matter what
>always gassy as fuck
>really pale and anemic looking
>I get bags under my eyes and dark circles
>my body is hairy and gross
>I'm balding
>my ass crack leaves a print of sweat everywhere I go
>I'm always tired and sick feeling
>I'm stupid
>being tired and sick makes it impossible to work
>I have an abusive family
>ptsd bipolar add
>have never made an actual accomplishment in my life
>not popular or invited to parties
>always say stupid shit and look autistic
>bad grades no job history
>family is on the lowest echelon of poverty possible
>have no car
Can I fix these? It's like everything that could go wrong did
>>16854544
>Can I fix these? It's like everything that could go wrong did
you were in the army? that6's an accomplishment.
>>16854550
Just because he had PTSD doesn't mean he was in the army. Any traumatic situation will cause that
>>16854574
i've been in two shipwrecks, been chased by the cops through a forest during night time, got shot at by a mortar twice on different occasions, limped 4 miles through a whiteout storm with a broken ankle and bleeding calf, and I don't have ptsd.
did his mom yell at him when he forgot to take out the garbage?
My mother will most likely kick me out of the house in nine months, or make me pay rent.
I just turned 18, I can't drive, and I don't have a job.
What should i do to prepare?
>>16854542
line up a university
>>16854545
I also have no passion for anything. No real "dream job"
>>16854549
study computer science then
I've gotten incredibly paranoid lately, mainly when im in buses. I just get paranoid of running into control people (the guys who check if someone on the bus doesn't have a ticket)
I mean, I've got no problem with them, I've run into them hundreds of times. I think I paid for a bus ticket like ten times in three years. Every person that passes me in the bus, or even looks like one of the ticket checkers, I just tend to tense up immensely.
They literally have zero authority, and I've never been scared of them, until now.
...and why would they scare you?
Just pay for a fucking bus ticket you pleb.
>>16854546
They use scare tactics. For example, anyone who doesn't have a ticket, gets herded to the middle of the bus where they can't leave, and from there it's anything from keeping you in the bus until the last stop, orv screaming at you until you break in and give your ID.
If I had the cash, I'd gladly pay for a monthly ticket. Seeing as I'm broke, that ain't happening any time soon.
Have you tried stabbing them before they follow you home with all their tickety goodness?
Hello.
I'm a 22 year old male. I've always had an aggravated hate for rapists, molesters of any kind, ever since i was a child. Could get literally sick by just hearing about those. Sometime ago, i dated a girl who was raped and attempted to make me jealous by doing teases with the person who raped her (that was in her family, and still lived close to her). That destroyed me for some time, and after some therapy i got back on my feet. But now i feel like i will always have this eerie sensation that some girl i'll date will have been raped, and it'll make some thing complicated, and i'll suffer. I'm not afraid of suffering, not afraid of being cheated on. But this particular fear, for some reason, this trauma-like thing, is hard to control.
Thing is, i'm about to start dating a new girl. She is very sweet, adorable, and has an unique autistic-like-in-a-cute-way-personality. She likes me deeply, and is 20 years old. However, she strongly, utterly hates her father, and started doing so quite recently, by her. She told me it was because he was abusive towards her mother and used her (around here, being ''abusive'' just means physically and emotionally). She hates him a whole lot. From 6 months back when we spoke, she just really disliked him and even wanted to ask him questions. Now, it's a really hateful feeling by her words. She doesn't have traces of abuse, and outside the mentioned, she really likes the idea of having a gun and learning martial arts (which makes me think she has self-defense issues, even if i like those aswell, but out of personal preference, not trauma). But i already have the eering sensation back. While writing this, while seeing my own words, i already feel better, because i know i'm willing to stay with her no matter the past. But there are weird things. She also stopped talkiung to me 3 months after that until this year, for no apparent reason. She has lots of scars from the past, she had a cutting, suicidal phase. Cont.
Cont. But this phase apparently is in the past. We both have stressful schedules, but i deal with it a bit better than her. She's very relatable in a lot of ways. I don't also know if this is relevant, but she stopped talking to me for 3 months for no apparent reason. A literal ''ghosting''. What's the deal? Is this a good girl? How can i deal with that feeling, that fear of potentially dating someone who was potentially raped? What should i do in the eventual confession that she, or whatever other girl, indeed was molested? How can i tell if that will come to bite us/me in the ass in the future, like with the incident with the last girl? Thanks in advance.
td;ld: After some ex used her rapist as a means to make me jealous, i started fearing any girl i date will have been raped/will do something similar, since that fucked me up. Currently dating a girl that hates her father, so i'm already suspicious and worried.
Stop caring about it. Just go to a mirror and look at yourself for however long it takes you to stop giving a fuck. You could have so many other nice insecurities m8.
>>16854558
Thanks for the advice, and that's what bothers me the most. A lot of shit has happened with me during my life, which make me grow almost completely immune to anything else that would happen. I'm not insecure about anything else like am i to this.
I'm 23 and I've had sex with 3 girls.
Is it possible to find a girl with similar or less sexual experience than this. My guy friends say I'm unrealistic for thinking I'm going to find a girl my age with under 5 partners, and my girl friends all pull the "WHY DOES IT MATTER?!?!?" card.
>>16854518
sure but they'll probably have been in comitted relationships for years
>>16854518
If they're boring, socially retarded, hyper- conservative, religious, straight edge or ugly yeah
>>16854518
Why does it matter? Not saying it shouldn't matter, but what are you looking for? What are you hoping a girl with less sexual experience will bring to the table? What are you worried a girl with more sexual experience will bring to the table?
>ex dumps me on phone
>treated her really well but she just randomly says she doesn't want/need a relationship and just realised this, says 'commitment issues'
>in other words, she is/was fucking some other guy behind my back I guess
>just keep stone cold expression/emotionless, we say 'bye' and hang up
>of course I am really fucking upset
>literally spending all day in bed not eating, just sipping water and watching random shit on youtube
>I block her on social media/delete everything of her/reminds of her
>just my way of dealing with it
>she notices that I have cut all contact
>all her friends that I made friend with IRL unfriend me
Is she mad at me? I really hope she is mad at me for doing this, I want to kek at her butthurt. Yes I know I'm no where near over her, don't know if I ever will be.
>>16854482
Bro you did the right thing. Cut contact, be polite and civil if she does try and talk to you but politely explain to her that for your own good you don't believe you two should keep in contact.
The best way to make her butthurt is to move on and start crushing on and putting your dingdong into other women - but don't feel any pressure to do this until you're ready. No shame taking a couple of weeks out of the game to get your head on straight.
If you have male friends IRL this is a good time to depend on them
>>16854482
yeah she's mad at you. you absolutely wrecked her. she's probably crying a little every night.
now find some other pussy for a victory lap.
>>16854482
It's a reaction to your blocking her. If her friends remove you too, who cares. Doubt she's 'mad' but more like getting even.
And yeah, best way is to bounce back like you don't give a fuck - which you shouldn't. She sound like a stupid slut and probably everybody on Earth would be better off avoiding her
