Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1397. page
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Why don't girls enjoy trying new things?
What is your depraved fetish that girls won't indulge you in?
>>16891887
its one of those weird rules of science like gravity. its universal and exists for literally no reason, but its 100% true and not at all a stupid attempt at a bait thread.
>>16891892
I just want her to dress up in a furry costume and piss on me, and she acts like that's just the fucking sickest thing.
I've been a dad for a little over two years now. That means I have a 2yr old daughter. I love her, but barely have the will to live and can barely bring in any money, meaning we're not eating great.
Do I just fucking end myself and have someone else take care of her? Someone else that can provide for her?
pic mostly unrelated
You realize if you go through with it, she'll essentially be fucked over for life, have massive abandonment and daddy issues, might not ever end up in a decent home, and might just end up dead in a ditch OD'd.
If you're having a tough time, swallow your pride and get some help. Most governments are pretty sympathetic to single parents.
>>16891870
get help from relatives, friends, gov't
killing yourself is probably the worst thing you could do for her you selfish faggot
I suppose I am just a selfish faggot
hearing her say "daddy" is literally my favorite thing
still feel shitty af though
even posting here I'm just whoring for attention
And I don't mean in a bad way, meaning I don't want anything bad happen to him and I genuinely wish him all the best and that he is happy.
But for some reason I can't get him out of my mind. We are not in touch, heck, I haven't even seen him in 6 months or so. But I think about him every day. I can't watch movies with one certain actor cause it looks like him and reminds me of him. If someone has a same name than he does, I immediately get alerted. I imagine him getting married with someone else and having his kids and it makes me angry, disappointed and sad. Of course it doesn't show on the outside and as I said, I want him to be happy, was it with me or someone else.
We are not in touch, I don't have any pictures, I've tried to get rid of him the best I can. But he just won't go. I've dated other men, I've tried doing stuff I find funny. I've blocked him on social media cause it's the only way to keep my sanity.
This drives me crazy. I've dated before and after, and I have never ever been this possessive and jealous. It's almost irrational, and I wanna highlight that I'm not showing my jealousy for him or anyone else, cause I know I don't have the right to be jealous. I just can't help myself, I still have those feelings.
It has gotten to the point where I consider moving to another city cause I can't be here. And if I'd see him with someone else, I'd feel so bad.
I've been in this position and I don't think it'll end the same way for us both. Honestly me and the guy I was dating broke up twice. Once we had forced no contact which basically drove us both crazy. The next time we kept mutual contact, and after a month of grieving I began to feel okay without him.
Honestly, I think what you need to do is let it all out. Allow the contact, allow the obsession to show its ugly face, because bottling it isn't going to get rid of it. Most likely you'll wear yourself out of this obsession by letting yourself feel it. Love is incredibly addictive and it has withdrawals, but the good thing is that you're not going to die from it. If he broke up with you this is definitely harder. This is initial jealousy and missing him. If you were together for a long time then it makes sense why you're still obsessing.
Though if you think it's more serious you can go to therapy because bad breakups have mourning periods. It's mostly an acceptance they're gone which my guess is you know.
I would say contact him but don't let your jealousy get the best of you. Even if he's moved on with someone else, that makes you much closer to moving on yourself. Ask yourself though, do you still love him, do you still wish to be with him? I hate to be stereotypical, but facing your fears directly is a good way to overcome them; same goes with feelings.
So /adv/ I need some help. I'm struggling to overcome a now-vertical wall of procrastination and need someone to find the words to turn the key in the lock.
> be me
> be 45
> be a normfag all your life, a hard-working, squarejohn corporate drone but always keen on coding, and .alt life from a young age
> be drug free all your life but now drinking more than is healthy or advisable
> be in Dubai
> be out of a job, and running out of cash and time
> be married to a wonderful, loyal, loving woman whose heart is silently breaking
> be ashamed
> be aware that INeedToFindWorkQuickly.avi
> but be so burned out and traumatised by your last job that you can't contemplate the thought of even looking for work, let alone doing it.
> be so emasculated that your mojo may never recover, let alone your zest for life
> be ashamed
> be well aware you are a fool who is so blessed with good fortune, but still unable to get going anyway
> be so desperate for the words of wisdom you need that you post on /adv/ when you are oldfag enough to be every other /adv/isors' dad
> be ashamed
> ashamed
> SHAME
> SHAME
> pic unrelated.
shameless self-bump. I contribute to so many other threads, hope someone contributes to mine
it sounds like you already know what you have to do. break the procrastination and just get going again dude. things will fall into place. even if you think you can't face the idea of finding work again, you gotta do it for your wife man. you can retire in 20 years or so if you stay on track.
OP are you traumatised by that specific type of work, or just working in general?
I have a similar situation to yours - I worked a decent-paying but high-stress job and eventually burned out. I was left with severe depression and panic attacks. I had had depression and anxiety before and was working on it, but the stress of the job made it so bad that I couldn't work at all. And yes, I felt very ashamed about it.
One of the biggest things that has helped me was learning to not be ashamed. It sounds like that may be one of your biggest stumbling blocks and reasons for your procrastination - the whole situation makes you feel so terrible that you can't bear to look at any part of it.
You burned out because you are a human being and sometimes work puts people in impossible situations. It happens. Try to forgive yourself for being human. It's hard and you may have to "re-forgive" yourself if the feelings of shame come back. But you must do it.
May I ask what kind of work you were doing?
>Female friend from childhood dies at 11 from cancer
>Been friends since we were 3
>Get hit pretty bad by the news but quickly move on
>15 years pass. 26 now
>See something on TV that really reminds me of the situation
>Fall into deep grief and depression, even after 15 years passed
Anyone here went through something similar? I don't know what to do with myself
>>16891833
Go see a therapist.
>>16891840
I did. The grief is not eating me up from the inside anymore (lost 3kg in 2 weeks through lack of eating) but the grief is still there.
I feel so mad about how unfair what happened to her was
>>16891833
You were too young at the time to properly grieve. This means you're going to have to deal with it now, or you'll spend the rest of your life haunted by the things you saw.
>>16891840
Anon is right, find a professional and work out the things on your mind. It'll do you a hell of a lot of good. I suffered a bereavement at a young age and it took me >20 years before I tried to deal with it.
The blister pack split for this pill. Will it be fine if I wrap it in cling wrap?
>>16891826
No it is deudly poison
>>16891826
Yep. I've taken pills from packs that have accidentally split in my bag or whatever, and I've never had any problems
What is the best way to study and effectively learn chinese/mandarin in one year? I have availability everyday in the morning and night time. So +- 5 or 6 hours/day
Links and methods of study from people that already learned it before are very needed and welcomed.
>>16891819
Go to professional courses. Learning language like mandarin on your own and through web is a terrible idea. Internet can help but it cannot be your main teacher. Good irl teacher is absolutely essential.
>source: learned mandarin for almost two years
>>16891835
I would go. But i don't work and i can't ask for my parents to pay (it's quite the money for us) because its something they view as "superficial" and not really important to invest money into. They already pay for my brother's medical school and are trying to save money for the family business (I help them with it but it doesn't really make enough to pay for more than food and other fundamental expenses).
Sorry for the rant but its just so you get the picture and can tell me if there is a chance to learn by myself... Only understanding the language would make me very happy (so I can watch games and understand the commentary)
Should I switch to an easier yet asian language such as Korean or Japanese? Which one would I be able to learn studying by myself at home 4 hours/day?
What are the benefits of not watching porn? I haven't watched porn 4 days now, and I'm starting to feel the urge to jack off to porn tonight, should I try and resist it?
>>16891804
Your testosterone caps out on the 7th day of not fapping from what I understand. So fap once a week for maximum results. Also being hornier will give you more incentive to hit on women. Get a girl and then you can just have sex everyday and say goodbye to fapping.
I'm pretty sure there aren't any and that nofap is just a bunch of psuedoscientific bullshit and cherry-picked studies.
>>16892034
CURIOUS HOW YOU CALL NO FAP PSEUDOSCIENCE BUT KEEP PUSHING PSYCHOLOGY
So basically I have bad anger issues. Anyone know how to deal with it?
>>16891786
Dunno much about anger management, but I find that breathing deeply while removing myself from the situation for a moment (physically if possible) helps me a good deal. I also stay vigilant of when I'm starting to become upset and try stave off the anger by attempting a different approach to whatever happens to be frustrating me.
>>16891786
Poker logic for immediate issues says you should be aware of what can set you off, outside factors any given day that may make you easier to set off, and to try and counteract these issues even if it means getting out of a bad spot.
On another level, ask yourself why you get mad. For me, it is pride. This is a long term question.
It's tough but in can be done. >>16891828 can definitely work. When I was younger I would have to just go away and be alone until I wasn't angry. Sleep usually helped, as well.
Nowadays I can usually just convince myself that exploding into a rage isn't worth it, and would only cause me unnecessary problems.
So I been with my gf for about 2 years
Going to try to be quick, and maybe I'm just overreacting.
Last year we both got pretty busy with night jobs. In the last year we have only seen each other, like 12, maybe 15 times. About once a month. Dates are always set up and either she's over an hour late, or things come up and we have to postpone. All I asked of her was if we could meet maybe once a week. Do something, movie, meal, beach, sex, anything really. Just wanted to spend time.
Now I honestly say that I love her, and I care about her. The thing is I'm starting to feel uneasy about the relationship. I see friends more often than I see her. I made note of meeting with her and conveyed my issues to her through talking and such, only to get a response of "I'll make it up to you, promise." Nothing has changed for the rest of the year.
Neither of us are very social, and simply enjoy spending time together. Normally I don't care about my b-day, which was in Dec, she wanted to meet to give me my gift, and I didn't see her until mid-Feb.
I love her, but I'm starting to feel like it's not worth getting exhausted over her anymore.
Is it bad to leave someone you care about and love, due to not seeing them enough?
It's like we are living in a long distance relationship, but only like a 10 minute drive away.
>>16891779
>In the last year we have only seen each other, like 12, maybe 15 times
is this even a relationship? sounds like a mess about. one if you clearly doesn't really give a shit.
You are essentially not in a relationship.
In reality she probably doesn't see you as her boyfriend, not that she necessarily has someone else, hence why you barely see her.
Call it quits. You have nothing, there isn't really anything to attempt to salvage here.
Ask yourself this, if you didn't contact her, at all, for a week, or for a month, would she even notice?
>>16891799
>is this even a relationship?
This is pretty much the feeling that has been slowly festering in me. And it's not that I want someone else, but it feels not even a part of it of the mess.
>>16891806
>if you didn't contact her, at all, for a week, or for a month, would she even notice?
This is where the headache starts.
I have tried to focus on myself, but she seems to notice when I stop contacting her.
She says that she misses me, that she loves me, and that she's just very busy with a bunch of stuff, or sleep.
I believe her, but the problem is that her sweet words are slowly losing it's effect. Slowly I care less and less about her response as it always seems the same.
I brought forth my complaints again a few months back, and she responded with about the same. "I understand what you mean, I miss you too, I'll try to make time for you, don't worry, I promise. I'm sorry you feel that way."
I'll try to go silent for a while. Maybe just not care for bit, although it's near impossible for me to be dick about this.
I think part of me wants to wear her out, see if she's check out, or really just terrible at being an adult that can manage time.
I really don't want to walk away, but it's like my feet want to start stepping.
One of my classmates dropped out of uni and leaves a vacant room in an apartment he rented with two of my other classmates. They offered me to move in with them. But I am not sure if I should accept.
Pros:
>Much bigger, 140m2 instead of my current 15m2
>Sharing a kitchen with two people instead of 20
>Extra guest room. Current living space can't have guests.
>Film room with projector and stuff
>Will help me socialize, as I don't know anyone else except my classmates in this city (Only 10 people in class)
Cons:
>A bit more expensive, 700$ instead of current 500$
>Longer distance to uni (not so much tho), current is a 5 minute walk, new appartment wil be 6 minutes with bus
>Won't be able retreat to my own space in the same way to chill, fap, etc...
Sooo, what would you do anon?
>Pic related, it's my current home: half a fucking container
Gaiz, plz help plz
It's up to you. I think the biggest issue here is the money, so if you can afford it without it impacting you too much financially (including loans and whatnot), then I would personally go for it.
Not sure if it'll help you socialise though, seeing as you live with 20 people and still don't know anyone other than your classmates, and you're moving in with your classmates anyway
I understand this might strike some as ridiculous, autistic even. But how do I tell someone who I've drunkenly hooked up with that I want to hook up with them again?
>>16891742
you text them with a 'sup' and see if they even bother to respond first. do it on a night. not too late. not too early. gauge their response to some general stuff.
>sup
>nm you
>just watchin some netflix. you should come over.
>ill bring my dragon dildo!
its that easy.
SWANS!!
What happened?
if a girl is really into you, is there such a thing as messaging too often? or is that only if the girl is on the fence
is every day too often?
>>16891738
here's a plot twist: IT DEPENDS.
women are not toasters. there is no single combo that works on them. some girls get mad if you take an hour to respond. some girls lose interest because you just because someone there to keep them busy via text while they interact with real men in the real world.
the big question is, what is the nature of the relationship? are you dating yet? like legitimately bf and gf dating? if not, i tend to only use text to confirm plans.
>we still on for friday?
a little bit of chat from there is good but end it off with 'gotta get back to work. see ya friday'.
protip: if you dont have plans to see her in the near future, you're not on her radar.
>>16891738
Yes. "I want to be with you every waking moment" is better on paper than in practice.
oh right I guess I figured I enjoyed getting a message from her every time it happened so she would also enjoy getting them from me but I guess maybe I should message less
I want to become "emo" or "scene." Should I?
>>16891730
Make sure to hop in a time machine to 10 years ago
Do whatever you want no one really cares
>>16891730
why not?
so i read how 5'4 midgets are crying how their lives fucked and shit, and they still havent fucked double-digit number of girls by the age of 24.
i'm 26, 6'4, and have only KISSED 2 girls in my life. and i dont look lanky nor nerd. but i lack the confidence, the "take it all" approach... and it sucks. it sucks ass.
so as you can see, height doesnt do shit if you arent an alpha male.
so what the fuck should i do? before i could've used the cash argument, but i lost 95% of it gambling high-risk short-term stock market.
so how2impressgurlz
>>16891675
got pics?
>>16891675
ur kinda just as bad as they are if ur whining about alpha male and the number of times you get laid.
life isn't about the number of people you stick your dick in. its enjoyable but its not important at all. you do not need to be an alpha male to get laid, let alone often.
>>16891681
for the safety of my anonymity, im not posting a picture of my face.
>>16891695
well being an alpha male is an important factor in this life, as much as we like to think to justify against with with some caveman theory or whatnot - women still pick them. silly losers with the safezone jobs and boring lives (imma gonna b good daddy to our baby) deter girls in their 20s.
and i dont wanna settle in my life just yet.
