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I will be meeting up with this girl I knew from highschool after many years, and I was wondering if we do go for coffee or breakfast, should I pay (I don't mind) or should I let her pay for herself?
This isn't like a date or anything, just meeting up (but it could advance our relationship ;)
Thanks
>>16889848
it ain't a date. don't pay.
>>16889856
But I want to show I am boyfriend material
>>16889848
This is where you see the difference between alpha and beta behaviour.
"Hey I'm looking forward to seeing you. What'll it be? Breakfast somewhere that serves (pick something interesting) or coffee at (name the place). It's my treat."
This says "I'm interested in you" and "I'm decisive" and "I'm not insecure about details"
I am currently waiting to see if I'll be accepted for a degree in May or round 2, June.
The degree I want is unfortunately in another city 2hrs away, so I will have to move out of home if I'm accepted.
I'm looking for casual work while I study too. Should I get a job now, and move there as I have a friend to move in with? Or should I wait for my acceptance, then move in case I don't get accepted?
I've never moved out of home either so this is making me nervous, I don't know if I'm thinking straight. I just don't know when to move or not.
You should start looking for a job now, but be clear that you cant start until June/July. Don't move until you've been accepted and you want too. (That said if you want to move and college is just an excuse, by all means go for it now)
>>16889859
Okay, I understand.
College is not an excuse to move (more of an excuse to get out of my comfort zone), I would prefer to save my money and stay home.
Do you recommend I put my current address or the address I'm moving to on my resume?
Would people see me as a fat fuck now if they saw me? If you saw me, would you think I'm fat?
Pic related, 1/3
3/3
>Inb4 poo in the loo
You're not fat but it wouldn't hurt to get bigger. Hit the gym, overdose on the protein and bulk up a bit.
Sup, /adv/
I have co-worker (I work in retail) that I've known for about a week and we always talked and hit if off. Today I asked her see a movie, and she laughed and then said it 'sounds intriguing'. Her words. I just laugh about it and say that I always try to. She laughs and says she'll think about it. I go on with the day as normal. I talk to her for a little bit unrelated to that and everything seems normal. Smilin' and laughin'. I then ask her at the end of the shift and she said she'll think about it. Just want some outside opinions on this. :^)
well she said she'll think about. don't bring it up again with her just keep doing what you do, if within 2-3 weeks she still doesn't then you can tell ask her again, in a jokingly way.
>>16889826
an attractive female that works retail? she fucks her manager/higher up.
guarantee she's fucking other co-workers. did you even scout this out?
>>16889840
Aight. Thanks for the advice.
>>16889845
She just started. I've worked there for 3 years. (19 now, she's 18)
When is it time to call it "no contact, ever" quits?
Girlfriend and I are on the rocks. If I don't leave her now, I know I will when someone better comes along. That's not "right," so I decided to wind it down now. The problem is the girl is trying her hardest to be emotionally abusive and difficult promising me everything to get me to stick around, delivering 30% of what was promised if I stay & not acting right in general, bitching me out when I have a problem with it, and then crying her eyes out when I fire back against the bitchiness.
I hate cutting things off completely with people I've invested myself in. I can do it, but it's hard for me. I want to be friends with this girl, but she's doing everything she can to manipulate it into everything but friends.
Is it time to give up and go full "no contact" on her? I know full well that she will be hitting me up for a month straight once she realizes what I'm doing... and probably after that too. I want to be friends very badly, but I also don't want to do things that are going to be unhealthy for my life.
Who has experience with this and feels like sharing?
>>16889800
why not just, y'know, break up with her?
>on the rocks
means what exactly? arguing a lot? can't seem to come to compromise about something?
>>16889812
Well.... because I would like to be friends with her. And so when I tell her "y'know, I love you, but I can't take anymore" i.e. when I'm close to quitting, she changes enough to want to give her another shot.
SO I guess that answer boils down to:
>I want her
>So I'm being a pussy about it
She's had lots and lots of shots at making good on her promises. It's still hard to keep saying no when she's hitting you up every day begging for you.
>Be me
>Greentexting like a faggot but can't express my feels any other way
>First time posting on 4chan and I think I need different people to listen to
>As I was saying: Be me
>Sophomore in Highschool now
>Go back to 1st grade
>Have assignment on what I want to be when I grow up
>Genuinely have no idea as a kid, put in a joke answer and get an F on it (the school grading was actually a 1/4, the system was fucking retarded, all grades were either 1,2,3, or 4, but I'm getting side tracked)
>Genuinely have no idea what I want to do as a grown up
>Fast forward to middleschool years
>I wanted to be a developer for AAA vidya
>Fascination with how vidya worked
>Told my pops what I wanted to be as a grown up, vidya designer
"Yeah, good luck with that, Anon, noone makes it in that field"
>Being 12 and more fucking retarded than an orgy on a shortbus, I want to prove him wrong
>Still did nothing with Vidya or looked into it, but still like the idea of how it worked
>Maybe fiddled with DooM 2 mods a bit, had no real idea what I was doing.
>Tell Ma and Pa all the cool things I learned through the power of you tube tutorials
>Still unimpressed
>Grow out of the vidya phase, I still question whether or not my feelings about being a devfag were real or just illusions
>Fast even more forward to the end of 8th grade
>Already expected to know what field of career we want to be in
"Why the fuck should I know what I want to go into college for 4 years prior?" -Young Anon
>Literally the counselors forced me to come up with something on the spot
>go with that old Vidya idea, at least it was familiar territory.
> Still carry that unknowingness of a future into freshman year
>Get an inkling at the end of freshman year
>I want to get into law
>Sophomore year rolls around, I now know what I should do
>Become a cop
>Research into it
>taking weightlifting class this year, a Criminal Justice class next year with advanced weight training
(1 / ?)
>Get all these cool ideas
>Tell parents
>Mom's fine with it
>Gives me the whole "Whatever you want, darling" speech
>Finally go up to dad, tell him what I want to be
>Not even given a chance to explain why
"Anon, you're not going to be a fucking cop, and that's it" - Anon's dadbro
>Why not?
>He lists off a bunchof bullshit from bullsit he watched on propaganda shit
"Police are murderers, and killers, and scum. They're taking our rights away, Anon, the law is just terrible. They're like the military and blah blah blah"
>Never thought of how my dad was such a propagandafag
>You could tell him some bullshit story about how Martians did 9/11 and he'd buy it
>Still have no idea what to do, still want to be a cop
>Know theres a difference between "Justice" and "muh justice"
>Tell dad's girlfriend (My ma and pa are split up)
"You don't want to be a cop, Anon, there are some that are terrible people, and they see terrible things"
>Uhh... yeah I get that
>She then basically tells me that cops eat like shit, and are lazy or fat
>She's a fitfag, which is ironic given her weight
>Know that pops and his girlfriend don't give a shit about what I'd want
>Keep telling me this stupid stuff on why cops are bad people
>I know that some are, but it's not necessarily the badge that's evil, it's the people wearing it
>Kind of that loud minority that get's the media's spotlight.
>Dad and his Lady obviously think I'm some sort of asshole because wanting to go into law
>They're always trying to pressure me into getting all A's and shit
>Tried to for the first quarter, got too strung up on it
>Became one of those gradefags that almost wept over a B-
>Grades dropped, rate of Nihilism increased
>Went from a 3.9 GPA to fucking 2.6
>I know I'd already be branded as a failure to pops if I hadn't shown them
>I want to say I don't care, but I obviously must
>Genuinely feel terrible thinking about it
(2 / 3)
What should I do, /adv/? I can't see any point in going for the highest grade since Pops already thinks I'm some cop-faggot. But looking back at how far I've fell, am I really redeemable at that point? I went from a fucking 3.9 to a 2.6. It's this constant feeling of "I can't care enough" and "I care too much". What should I do?
>>16889811
Your parents are people just like the people on this board. Do you think the people on this board know shit? some do, most don't. Kind of like parents. Most of them don't know shit about what's best for their children.
Your father and dad's fuck buddy (lol, and you're taking advice from him, the divorcee) don't know what's best for you and can't make that decision for you. If you want to be a cop, be a fucking cop. Just make damn sure that's what you want. Go meet some cops, ask if you can job shadow them. Go do some ride alongs. See what's up.
As far as your grades, stop blaming your parents. Your grades are your responsibility to improve; their opinion is irrelevant on this.
I think you should buckle down, get good grades, go follow cops around and see what's up, and then make a decision. But don't let your grades job over some daddy issue shit man.
Time to ask strangers on the Internet for help with my sex life! Yea!
Well not so much, I have a question for you. How do I handle my wife's resentment towards my ability to stay in shape. I'm not trying to sound like a dick so I'll to to explain. My wife and I have currently been together three years. Over those three years she has changed her appearance rather dramatically. She has put on 50-60 pounds. Along with that she is starting to have legitment health problems associated with her weight. Now that doesn't mean I'm not attracted to her emotionally she is still some what the same and I still love her.
However she just doesn't want to touch me anymore. She constantly comments on how much better looking I am than her. She can also be pretty nasty with it sometime to make me feel bad for staying in shape. Now I by no means am super fit, but I average out about an hour a day in the gym for six days a week.
Now the problem I'm having is the sex is just going away she says it's because she doesn't feel attractive. At first I just tried more positive affirmations than normal. That went nowhere and she still beat herself up on a almost daily bases. I have tried encouraging her to work out with me and she quits within a day everytime. I've tried just standing back and letting it take its course. That has made matters simply worse. I'm trying to make my wife feel happy about her self. But every day out, night in, dinner cooked, cute texts, almost anything I can do has failed. Emotionally it's draining me to feel so unable to provide.
Is there anyway I can salvage it. I can't just sit by and let her beat herself up.
>>16889724
Encourage her to lose weight, and explain that there are many ways to do it. If she keeps denying you sex, suggest you get into an open relationship because you don't want to go without it. Don't be a beta henpecked cuck, you have to set the law. I do the same to my wife, and I have sex 4 times a day and am served my meals.
Please help me /adv/
It's been 7 years since I talked to this qt3.14, it was only once but she was very beautiful. I don't know why I keep thinking about her. She passed away.
What happened was, she kept staring at me whenever we were in the same room, I am not sure what emotion it made me feel but it's like she was the first person to care about me.
I don't think we connected or spiritual shit.
I think about her every day, I just want to forget, I have the entire 4chan advice how to succeed shit but no matter what I do I keep coming back to thoughts of this girl.
I had a nightmare just last night and she was in it, I just want to die.
Do they ever like to talk? Is long silence periods normal for them? Know a girl for about 2 years, she kinda said I was just a friend but I still want to keep her as a friend. However, she rarely ever reaches me out and when I make plans with her, she says she is busy or doesn't answer. I did go out with her a few times in the past by the way.
Are they just shy? Should I continue?
>>16889661
they tend to seek serious relationships and hold a close knit group of friends (or have difficulties maintaining friends).
if she's giving you excuses every time you ask to see her then maybe she's not only introverted but also uninterested. obviously i can't tell you with any certainty.
>>16889661
Introverted girls who are busy require a lot of work and understanding. If the stars aren't aligned just right them you're destined for a sporadic friendship. Stop trying for a while, may be she's just sorting some shit out.
>>16889661
>Do they ever like to talk? Is long silence periods normal for them?
Every human being is different.
"introverted woman" is not like a model of a fucking cellphone, they aren't identical. None of us know this girl or anything about her, so, who the fuck knows whats normal for her.
Make a decision and stick to it. If you're searching for reasons to stay with someone that generally disappoints and confuses you regularly than maybe you have your answer as to whether or not you should keep her as a friend.
I'm at a real low point in need advice. How do you guys pull yourselves out of slumps?
In short, though I know it's childish whining:
>Mind-numbing white collar job killing me, like ~10 hours a day where I get criticized a lot but paid well
>Got two B+es in engineering classes I take at night, lowering my 4.0 (thankfully not by much) and wrecking my confidence in my knowledge
>Athletic performance going down the tubes, completely embarrassed myself at two recent competitions and now possibly (can't tell) ignored by coach and other competitors
>Had to dump last girlfriend because she said she wasn't attracted to me, now I come home to my empty apartment and just work in my home office all night
>Recently pulled an all-nighter to help out a charity, they ended up throwing my work away that morning because of internal politics without even thanking me
>Realized I haven't talked to anyone this entire week - even my parents are too busy to talk on the phone
>Crash dieting out of paranoia about attractiveness and physical ability, but having a hard time not drinking myself to sleep
>Lost all passion for even trying to meet people on online dating, no willpower to even talk to girls and get to know them
I know I need to kick my own ass and pull myself out of this, but I'm not sure how - it seems like every time I try to refocus my energy into something I feel confident at (e.g. the charity work, the competitions) I end up fucking it up.
>see pic
Now get a hold of yourself. You have a job, you have just below a 4.0, you are an athlete. Your girlfriend may have broken up with you but shit happens. Once you are able to get in touch with someone who knows you talk to them. To hell with dating for a short time and get your shit together. Once you do get back to it.
>>16889656
Looking at all this. This isn't bad. Why would you want be in a committed relationship with some one who does feel attracted to you, imagine how painful of a divorce that'd be if it stuck out in near future you'd bendeeper in slums, Your grades are better than most people, you helped a charity man even if they threw it away you tried talking your mind off one thing than another.
Have you even thought about doing something or yourself. It doesn't hurt standing on your own feet. In the end you'll feel better knowing if you gt in a relationship or anything above comes down on you you'll know you have an experience like this to depend on and get your ass out of. You shouldn't feel regret over anything you feel you put 110℅. You should be footing up your ass if you layed in bed not try to pick yourself up. Just really follow through with something YOU want everything you explained seems like nothing you want. You'll be fine don't worry
>>16889656
take a weekend off. its hard to, but make the time, find the money.
i realized ive never been on a vacation. ive had time off. ive visited family. btu i never actually went on a vacation.
so this weekend i rented a hotel for two nights. you know the sad part? its only an hour and a half away by bus. maybe an hour by car (which i dont have so moot point). i didnt see teh point in throwing down money or wasting extra time traveling to enjoy a beach far away when i got a shitty one here.
but i wont be home. i wont have my phone. i wont have a computer telling me 'hey i know its technically work, but editing this scene here would be a lot of fun'.
isntead ill have soft serve ice cream. and beaches. and maybe thunderstorms at the beach cuz its been freaky weather lately, but im totally okay with that. take some time just for oyu and being out of your house is a MUST.
it took me 6 years to realize this
Can anyone help me (20 years old) figure out dental and medical insurance?
>tfw live in America and have to tip the doctor
>inb4 should be covered under family
Not gonna happen
I just need general direction with this shit i've never dealt with it before and It seems to be one of the more complicated facets of life. Basically I have no idea what to do
>>16889641
Is that a man?
>>16889759
If it is I didn't know
BUMP
Hello everyone, so I recently moved far away from everyone I've ever known and I have no way of getting back. I've been having this drowning depression feeling for a long time and it doesn't go away no matter what I do.I make friends here and they just say I'm lack luster and all these other things. I'd get a job but the place I live in has such a terrible economy that I can't find anything. Not even a job with slavewage. Any ideas?
There's obviously a reason you specifically chose the place you're at now
Why is that
>>16889612
>move back to the states
>work for a year
>save money
>move back to paradise and live like a king
But seriously, you can't run from emotions. Deal with what's bothering you and face it head on. It's time for deep introspection.
I'll try to keep this short.
In June I will be leaving my country and travel pretty much on the other side of the globe for reasons. I am not sure if I will ever come back and there is a chance that I may even get killed. Why this is and what the job description is is not important.
What is important is that there is one thing I'd like to do befote I leave, just in case. And that is, I'd like to kiss a girl. Not talking about a random peck or anything like that but an actual kiss.
I am 25 and have never kissed or had sex, never had a gf. I am not autistic or even a sperg, but I don't think I'm a good enough guy to date good chicks. Then again it matters not how I got here, what matters is what I should do.
There is a girl that I hang around with, it's mostly hobby related stuff. I really like her, maybe even love her. We've known each other for three years. If there was one thing I'd like to do before I go it is to kiss her.
But here's the deal.. I do not know how to initiate it smoothly and I think it would be an asshole thing to do. If she has feelings for me, it sucks. If she doesn't it sucks less but still sucks. Also this is not something you just burp out "hey so I'm probs gonna go away wanna kiss?"
Should I just bite my lip and go? I think it would be the best because that way it is my loss and I won't cause any shit on others.
I hope I explained this clear enough. Kinda tired.
>>16889594
Is she comfortable with you cuddling her? If not forget about kissing.
Besides it seems that you're in a lot of pressure, and she might interpret your desperation/body language wrongly.
But if you got nothing to lose, just confessed that you love her before you fly away to your doom.
>>16889627
No cuddling. We're just friends who share the same hobby.
So I take it I probably should just forget about this. I don't want to put her in an awkward position nor do I want to make my goodbyes awkward as fuck.
>>16889692
No there's still a small chance, and you still got some time.
Use the extra ticket trick and take her for dinner afterward. See how things goes from there.
I know this guy two years older than me. We were in band together. Pretty cute, he joined the Air Force for awhile and is now back in town working at dollar general. Should I give him my number?
>bonus: he knows about 4chan because he's the one who showed it to me
>>16889580
Go for it.
>>16889580
You should check yourself for aids because you might a faggot
>>16889604
He doesn't browse this thread. I'm not a complete dumbass
I'm a 27 year old man-child whose had everything handed to them their entire life.
I'm fairly intelligent, though not a genius by any means. I have a decent job, not a great one. Friends, family, etc. etc...
But, ostensibly, I'm fucking useless. Jack of all trades, master of none. Not one fucking thing I'm great at, not one fucking thing I'm great for.
How does one find their place in the world?
Find a woman and have babies.
There is no 'place in this world'
>>16889573
If there is no place in this world, where is it that one can find a sense of belonging?
I've found people I can help. I've found people I can hurt. But I haven't found "my" people.
