Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1403. page
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Hey /adv/, about 4-5 months ago i met this girl. We kept things casual and were just fucked buddies for a bit but ended up becoming really good friends and a few weeks ago she told me she loved me. After a few days I told her that i felt the same but we live in different cities so dating is hard. She has told me numerous times (and her best friend) that she would leave her current boyfriend for me. The issue is that she cheated on him and I'm pretty sure her last boyfriend so I'm unsure why I would be any different then them. I'm starting fall deep in love with...
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bump
>>16890356
Have a threesome with the BF and her.
Start a poly-amorous relationship.
Draw straws for who gets to be the sissy cuck.
But seriously, fuck you. You get the emotional turmoil you deserve for the facilitating of some chick being a cunt and widening the gender gap.
Would be ironic if her BF dumped her without remorse, and you were left with this cheating bitch you can't trust because of what you both did together.
I'm not helping you. Dickhead.
>>16890356
Man, why the fuck would you even get into situation.
Best case scenario you fucked some dude's day up, and you guys date for 6 months and then she does this with some other dude.
Like, she's not learning anything in between you and him. This behavior is being facilitated (by you)
You fucked up. Break it off, cut her out, tell her to tell her BF and move on.
I am a wreck adv.. My sleep quality has been dog shit for 3 months. Some nights I toss and turn relentlessly. Other nights I sleep for 8 hours but wake up falling like I didn't sleep at all. It's affecting my work.
I had to call out two times in the same month last month because I just can't work on no hours of sleep. Am I making the right decision by calling out. I just don't want to get to work and nod off at my desk because that looks worse I believe.
What should I do? Can a doctor even help me? I feel like this state I am in is not helpable....
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>>16890330
do you sleep in on weekends? this fucks peopel up more than they think. to have a good sleep cycle it has to be cyclical.
when i got my new job i stayed up ALLL NIght (i normally would stay up til like 4 at that time, you know how unemployment be) then all day, then went to bed early the next night.
then of course, because i had work, id wake up early the next day. then the next day. then the next day. i pushed it so far my body foudn its new spot to fall asleep (as im sure you noticed its eaiser...
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>>16890333
I do sleep in on weekends but not by much. I usually get up 7am for work. I sleep in on weekends to about 9am.
What gets me is I often wonder if I should call out sometimes because it can get really bad. I don't want to go to work on almost no hours of sleep. My biggest fear is getting caught sleeping on the job. It's something I would never deliberately do but sleeping when exhausted is barely deliberate when trying to fend it off. >>16890333
>Broke up with this girl month ago
>We broke up in good condition' s
>I get her out I tell her thath I have feelings for her
>Still rejects me
>I find out she is few days Afther we brake up with new guy allready
> Calls me last night abouth some bullshit and blames me for it
My question is. Do I respond to it or just leave it? I know thath iam in right abouth thing she...
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>>16890296
leave a 'please dont message me anymore' message in whichever medium, inform her you are blocking her, then just block her.
>>16890304
I did something like thath allready. Thing is iam gonna see her in next week or something like that because we share a lot of friends and places we go out. Soo all thath blocking part is useless when iam gonna see her pretty soon iam sure.
Iam really holding my self just to trash her to ground becouse I know iam right and she is just bitching about it.
To shorten the story I chose my best friend over her Afther we broke up. Strange story and long
>>16890326
if you see her, and your anger rises, leave.
I'm 24 years old, about to turn 25. I'm married, I've got a kid, I have a decent career, and I've got a housemate who lives in the basement.
I feel like I'm nothing but a fucking beta. I am extremely aware that I am not "alpha" and it is killing me. I cannot stand conflict, it makes me insanely uncomfortable. Even a different of opinion can get my adrenaline rushing.
When my housemate causes problems (which he has many times), I have a hard time holding him at task for it, because I don't want conflict. If I pick up beer for him when I'm out, I feel uncomfortable reminding him when we get home to send over what he owes. I do because I don't fuck with money, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable.
My job, I joined based on the premise of "you'll never have hours outside 8am to 5pm, Monday through Friday." About six months into my position, they say they really value my output, and they'd love to have me help with a small pilot project of only three people, but it's overnight. Three months, a slight pay raise, and I can work from home. I say I'm interested but not committed, and that I'd need more information.
So we decide it isn't right for me, my wife and I. Here I am, working an overnight shift from home, because on three separate occasions they prevented me from backing out after saying I was welcome to, with shit like "Well this is a great opportunity, you should really try it out, it's only a short time," and so on.
Now the other guy who's supposed to be working took off, so I'm alone, and because we have to maintain 100% availability, I am "welcome to take a break or lunch, but need to remain available in case I get contacted. I'll be paid for the additional time, of course." Everyone says to fight for my lunch break because it's a legal right, all I see happening is conflict with my employer and then seeing that I'm not cooperative and less valuable than other candidates.
(cont.)
>>16890290
(cont.)
How do I stop being a beta fucking shit? This is affecting everything in my life. My perception of myself as a father, my sex drive, and I'm pretty sure my health in general, especially combined with the switch to overnights.
I feel like I let everyone push me around, and I really don't know what to do. I try to tell myself to confront things more, step outside my comfort zone, and all that happens is I don't like it and regress. I can't stand this, this isn't life....
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>>16890290
Dude, I'm 23 and still going to college. I don't have wife/girlfriend, house or car. You sound like you have it made to be honest. Guess the grass is always greener on the other side etc..
>>16890303
I've made a family and a career, but I don't have a degree under my belt. My van is falling apart, but it works well enough.
I just don't have confidence. I can eke by, but I can't stride. I just see myself as lesser in any group I'm in. With friends, with family, with coworkers.
I'm always at a point where I feel barely adequate. I'm going to a psychiatrist to see if I have ADHD, I've always heard complaints about how I don't try hard enough at things even...
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I've been hanging out with this girl a lot lately and it's pretty obvious she's into me but I don't know what to do from there. I'm a semi-autist 20 year old, so this is all new ground for me. I can get people interested, but I can't take it any further. What the fuck do I do?
Pic unrelated, I don't actually even know what it is.
>>16890250
I knew I saved that for a reason
Hanging out solo or in some sort of group setting?
>>16890273
Solo typically, group occassionally
What can I work towards to give me a personality? I go to work/school and go to gym. That's it. What can I actively work at? I love being hyper. I'm 5'7 and white. I want to be outside of my house.
>>16890249
>make a list of things you want to do
>prioritize them
>make a schedule of those thing sthat can fit into this year
>do them
you cant work towards a personality, not consciously. its like asking how to fall in love. you dont. you live life, and it happens. if you are trying to build something for other people's sake, you will find yourself in a personality dilemma when you...
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>>16890249
post your tits
>Have gf of four years
>She's become cold and distant
>She isn't cheating, she's just borderline asexual
>Some abuse thing or another in her past
>I've grown out of caring for my own sake
>Woman at work
>Single mother - cut ties with the father but will co-operate with father for sake of child
>Was tidy as...
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>>16890223
Confront your girlfriend first, tell her you're drifting. guage her response then make the choice for yourself.
Depends what you want from a relationship, I wouldn't ditch a girlfriend for a single mother, she is desperate for a baby daddy.
>>16890256
You talk sense.
I wouldn't ditch her for the single mother. It's just that the single mother is there for the dicking and my gf isn't.
Even if I ditched the gf for the litany of reasons I have buzzing around my brain, I would never enter any meaningful relationship with used goods.
Call me a pig but I'm a realist with self respect.
>>16890284
Not a pig anon, people who try to force their morality onto others by shaming them on /adv/ are the real pigs.
If you can keep it a secret.
Also, consider the single mother, there's a possibility if you dick her and run she might try to burn you.
There is a chance your not mentally prepared to cheat and live with a clear conscience.
I hope you clear your history of this thread if you're serious because you don't want to leave any evidence.
But your first priority...
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I did a Spanish course at uni. I've always wanted to learn a new language in the past but I didn't have the opportunity to do that until uni. The idea of doing a language as a minor for fun appeals to me. Most people here pick a beginner's course for languages as it is easy to geet good grades. I picked Spanish simply because I have a Hispanic online friend who I chat with daily and I thought that I could get good marks in Spanish by practisinf with him. Tbh I am much more interested in French culture - it wasn't like I cared about Hispanoc counteies but...
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You should continue studying Spanish at Uni while pursuing French as a side hobby.
I signed to an online penpal website and joined a language exchange program. Learned some chinese while teaching Spanish and English. Surprisignly enough, that landed me a job that pays triple the average salary in my country, and I work at home. Try it, the name's interpals. You might be surprised.
>>16890243
What makes you think that?
>>16890251
This looks like an ad
I can't stop being excessively nice to this girl who I'm certain has no romantic interest in me and it is really bothering me
I help out with a lot of music programs in my uni in California and since she's told me about how interested she is in them I've been pushing really hard to get my friends in just about every facet to teach her whatever she wants
I found out she was struggling in a class one of my best friends TAs and practically begged him to spend extra time teaching her outside of class
she came to my job earlier today and...
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Can you tell your male/other female friends no?
>>16890202
I always have trouble with saying no because it just feels right to help out friends when I can but I've never gone so out of my way
I'm half worried she is going to start finding it creepy
>>16890209
You sound a bit like me. You're just going to have to tell her whats going on and how you feel. The discussion is going to suck but thats how it is. Or you can just tell her your busy and keeping avoiding her.
So, /adv/, my life has been really fucked up recently and everything I built in my 20s fell apart, but I've got another chance in a new city where I don't know anyone. My experience is in a position that requires a lot of connections when you're starting out (financial advisor).
I think I need a completely new career. What's a good growing field I should look into?
Also, I'd be happy to answer any dating questions anyone might have, that's something I know I'm good at, at least.
Have you tried recruitment / hr field? You'd need good people skills but with your knowledge in finances you'd make a good recruiter. And it's mainly a feminine field = tons of chicks and virtually no men at work.
>>16890206
Hmm, recruiter is another networking-dependent position, though. I know some recruiters and all the reasons I don't want to go back into finance probably count double for that position. Something on the back end of HR could be good? Though I'm not sure if I'd consider tons of chicks and no men a plus - I've been the only man in estrogen-dominated offices before and it's less fun than it sounds. Thanks, though, that's something I hadn't really considered.
I'm basically...
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>>16890245
Anyway, part 2 was really all about my parents divorcing. I've spent the last year mediating my own parents' divorce after 40 years of marriage, selling their house, and moving to another state with my mom. I left my former career in the process and now I'm trying to start over with something new. The NEET life is losing its charm.
So here goes.
Is it possible to learn to get better at social interactions and letting go of inhibitions? Has anyone here actually done it? Not a brag thread but I have hobbies and talents and practically everything I could want except I only have two close friends and social settings without either friend intimidates me to shambles unless I'm putting on an act. But if the facade cracks then doubt sets in and I sperg out and have anxiety attacks. Sometimes if I'm alone and somewhere unfamiliar I'll even speak in a foreign accent just to feel secure.
I used to play gigs and socialize and actually talk with people. I was comfortable around anyone and could work an entire room. Then some shit happened and I allowed negative people to influence my thinking and then I lost everything and most of my family died. Had to build my life up again from scratch and became this weirdo autistic shut-in. Even in face-to-face conversations, people seem to be put off by me somehow. I also way over-think verbal communication and can't seem to grasp the concept of brevity and have trouble not referring to myself. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin again in social settings.
>>16890173
>is it possible to learn to get better at social interactions and letting go of inhibitions
are you in any way implying that no one ever has? cuz if so, you are retarded. and if not, you know the answer to the question, so why ask it?
yes, people get better at social interactions. we are not born with this inherent level of social anxiety that literally never changes. you yourself go on about how you were good, then got bad. do you think it only goes the one way?
as...
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>>16890215
>are you in any way implying that no one ever has? cuz if so, you are retarded. and if not, you know the answer to the question, so why ask it?
That was just a way of asking for stories from people who have overcome similar situations
>>16890267
in the future ask
>has anyone here over come social anxiety or gotten better? how'd you do it?
cuz the way you word it now it sounds like you're claiming its possibly impossible and are using the thread more so to whine.
which is interesting cuz the follow up stuff is not really whiny.
all that being said, its like i originally said. the only way to get good at something is to do it. its hard, but so is my cock, and you work that great baby....
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Hey /adv/ help me weigh some pros and cons.
I had the old director of my college plays call me and offer me a job. She wants me to come with her and her husband to drive the service car while he runs across America. I'd be gone from April to September while he runs to San Francisco from Delaware. I'd get to see the country. I'd have all expenses payed for me and even earn $100 a week.
However this would mean leaving my job for that time, (I work at Gamestop as a 3rd keyholder,) but more importantly I'd also be leaving my band for that time....
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100buxa week is dogshit dude. Also kinds sounds like you'll be "working" all day since you can't leave the car basically? Idk might be a cool experience to see the country but you better think about that at the reward and not the cash.
>>16890171
You'd meet some cool people and maybe get laid, the band might replace you and it wouldn't be fair to kick the new guy out unless you specifically make sure they look for a replacement temporarily.
Think about all the lonely nights in cheap motels though. Maybe even just in the car? or sharing a room?
It wouldn't be for money by any means. This couple are in their 60's, so more than likely they'll be taking care of themselves pretty well. My main job would be to drive. I'll rest when they rest, and eat when they eat. I don't see them not taking care of themselves.
Iike feel like the personality of woman is borring, I know its not some homogenistic group but still.
What do?
>>16890169
expose yourself to more women, specifically in interests groups. and when i mean expose i mean go meet, not flash your penisu.
also, figure out what aspect of the personality is boring and seek out a place where you might specifically find the antithesis (or at least a deviation) of that.
>>16890169
If you see women as generally boring and you didn`t meet anyone interesting, then you`re either in a boring place or you`re the problem.
I've been thinking it over for almost a year now. How do I come out as trans? For starters, I'm a male that could never pass as a woman. I'm worried about what my friends and family might think. Just posting it here is nearly causing me an anxiety attack. Please help.
What makes you think you're trans
>>16890159
the big question is, do you want to live a trans lifestyle? I'm gay, but i dont really enjoy the gay life style. so im closeted. and thats okay. you're friends and family do not need to know the details of your sex life.
if i ever met someone worth introducing to them, i would come out. but until then, why bother?
so in your case, you mention you dont pass. do you need to live as a woman in womans clothing and raising your voice (essentially faking everythign about yourself?) or can you...
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>>16890203
I just like the idea of being a girl. I don't enjoy being a stereotypical man. I'm never really comfortable around other men, and don't really feel like I can be myself. I've always felt great in the company of women; not really in a sexual sense, but like I can be myself and say what's on my mind. I like women's clothing, and I would love it if I could wear women's clothing every day out in the open.
>>16890231
I just feel like I'm living a lie. It's almost like I put on a mask every morning. I don't enjoy it.
Is it that the only way to get a boyfriend is through online dating?
>>16890124
No? Wtf?
>>16890130
So it's still possible to get one in real life?
I guess I'm just ugly then.
>>16890141
post them details bbygirl shiiiiiiiieeet lemme fuck that PUSSY UP know what im sayin???
