Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1388. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1388. page
Does anyone have or know someone who has borderline personality disorder? What's it like, both to have it and to observe someone who has it? I suspect I might have it.
>when I feel I've humiliated myself, my immediate reaction is to punch myself in the head, when I was young and I felt bad about myself I would hit myself in the head with a textbook, one time I considered using a hammer
>I've never really been in a relationship, but in high school I would idealize and obsess over crushes and would feel terrible when they didn't feel the same way, one time I squeezed my neck really tight so that it left a sensitive spot for years
>get really offended at minor insults
>bad at meeting people because I am worrying about what they're thinking: if they really want to hang out with me or if they like making fun of me
>I'm really quiet and I hate when people tell me because I'm ashamed of it feels like the worst possible thing in the world
>terrible self-image
People with border line personality disorder draw people to them. You sound just like you are insecure which I do not blame you for because men have a lot of hardships now a days. Amon time to work on yourself and move forward. As for self harming could be a nervous tick I have one of those I itch my head until it bleeds. So.e conselling may help you into the right direction.
>>16894187
Ah, okay thanks.
>>16894190
No worries hope things work out better for you Anon I know that feel.
Hey /b/. Any law fags here? I need some advice. So my stepdad is being charged with assault with a deady weapon (knife). He did not stab or hit anyone, only words were exchanged. I don't know all the specifics but they are saying that he held the knife to the mans shoulders, and there is a witness that is agreeing with the story that the knife was held to the mans shoulder. My stepdad already has 2 strikes, and they are trying to charge this as a strike meaning this will be his 3rd, so they are trying to give him 20 years. Is there anyway to fight these charges? Or any advice on what to do? I am from California.
>trying to give him 20 years
get a fucking lawyer
It's called a lawyer. If he can't afford one, he will be given one. This isn't your battle to fight, it's his.
>two priors
>step dad
Your family is trash and society is better off if he's locked up. Try to not be like him and instead become a respectable citizen.
From dating and talking to girls, I feel like white girls are just more unhumble than other races. Does anyone else feel this way?
Depends on the location and the average salary for the area. The more daughters of CEOS the more entitled they get.
>creating stereotypes about an entire group of people instead of judging them as individuals
that's called racism, jamal.
>>16894138
>From dating and talking to girls, I feel like white girls are just more unhumble than other races.
For me, it has a lot more to do with background--whether or not they had money growing up. If they struggled and had to work to get where they are today, then of course they're going to be humble. But they're going to be judgmental towards people that have had it easier and grow to look down on them.
Ive broken off with a girl (male here) cause i felt she was weak and was using me for what i had to offer. I made her go through some emotional shit as everytime i see her she is has no emotional and face is dark (prob from looking down due to sadness). I think i was her one very close friend, she even cried to me before.
I know what i did was wrong and am an asshole but ultimately i just couldnt put up with her anymore. I broke it with her (as a friend) just after a 2 week winter break when she msged me and seemed super excited to have me back to school.
Since this break i feel horrible, i call myself "asshole" or "you were wrong(referring to me), or something along those terms. I try to make it up now to her by being as nice as i can and never ignoring her requests anymore, always try to help her when i can. Even so u constantly feel like a huge asshole and especially pitiful for myself when i see her, reminding myself of my wrong doings. This is affecting my school work and my "positively" and also humbled me greatly. I have apologised numerous times since then, in person and also online.
How can i stop this horrible feeling of knowing i hurt another being. I don't want to be an asshole and ruin someones life by making them depressed. I really dont know what to do.
Thank you guise
Op here
During that period at the winter break. I suddenly thought it would be a smart move to distance her from my life by telling her "i dont want a gf" out of the blue.
I know what i did was totally autistic and ass hole move but i simply didnt want to deal with her anymore. That is an addon to the story i guess
Don't look back. It's not your job to "put up with" substandard girlfriends.
>>16894212
Shes not my girlfriend, but thank you.
I feel like someone or something is pulling the strings to a lot of things. I feel like there are illusions and deception all around me. I just feel like there are much smarter things/people out their with agendas that can't be "seen." It's a rabbit hole, but a rabbit I hole I didn't choose.
>>16894109
so what if there is? set up your own agenda, your simple life, and work towards that. if ur talking conspiracy, yes there are some bigger agendas, but you following whatever your life plan is doesn't factor in too much. if you are talking super natural, then stop worrying so much cuz you arent important enough for supernatural entities to pick on specifically.
the universe isn't hostile. it is only indifferent
You can't see electricity, but it's the driving force behind most of the things surrounding you right now. Negative and positive charges. Similarly, there are negative and positive forces that manipulate our psyches/souls/whatever. The negative is a vacuum that sucks energy from the positive; the positive creates new things and strives to exist in spite of the vacuum. (To me, that's what's kind of beautiful about the Christian narrative-- the idea that the positive force went into the depths of that vacuum and then returned intact. It's a hopeful message.)
Recently I'm a lazy faggot. Today was my first day of school after a 5 day weekend, and I've never been happier. I've been going to school and work without fail for a good while, and during that break I was the happiest I've been in a good while.
Today I called in sick at work and didn't show up at school, because I truly don't want my freedom to end like this. I'm fucking tired of school, work doesn't bother me as much (probably because I know I'm making money).
I'm just fucking exhausted, and now that I've had time to catch my breath, I don't really want to start again, because this all seems pretty pointless. Ugh.
>>16894092
What are you studying and how much work are you doing?
>>16894092
you should ideally be studying and working somewhere that fulfills you in one way or another.
that being said, finding these places, or getting the skills / education to warrant working there often comes with strings. you have to pay your dues before getting your dream job.
if its not your dream job, stop goign to school and take time to figure out what is. you are wasting time and moeny on something you wont enjoy in the slightest, you are in for a rough life. im not saying we should all be astronauts and actors and basketball players. but there should be some sense of fulfillment or interest that comes from your career path.
but once you have that planned, you still gotta pay your dues.
Sufjan is a fag
She won't text me back.
Its been a day and a half.
>>16894061
Don't keep texting her.
You're cute. There will be others who you connect with as much as you wanted to connect with her. You're gonna be okay.
>>16894061
She might actually have a life. Not everyone spends every waking moment glued to their phone.
What do you say when an old person complains of pains?
Whenever I see my grandma it's a constant barrage of complaints about her arthritis and teeth. I don't know how to respond to it and I feel bad for saying nothing.
>>16894027
tell her to shut the fuck up
Just make soothing noises.
Its just old people complaining. If its not their legs turning into dust they'll complain about random shit. Ignore it really unless she's screaming in pain.
Won't really get into a long set up story but I had an apartment with my girlfriend. We broke up and I didn't renew the lease.
Really the point of this is about what to do with my career. In my early 20s I worked at a security firm that went under, went to vocational school and became a licensed practical nurse. I have been a nurse for 5 years now, pull down about 50k a year before taxes. After taxes and health care? about 40k. This is working 3 12hr night shifts, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I want to make more money. The plan was to go back and get my RN, that would bump me up like 20k a year give or take. Realistically it would take forever since i'm so far behind on English and math.
Coming to you guys about other options, was thinking some sort of computer/tech thing? Something thats easy to do to supplement my nursing gig? Should I just suck it up and go back for my RN? Is there a way to catch up without taking a bunch of sub 101 level courses? Any other options I should be looking at?
I think if you want something solid and secure, RN would be a good place to start. Nurses are always in demand. A lot of work now would be worth it if it can guarantee stability later
>>16894050
Then how do I go about getting myself to a high school level of comprehension for math and English? I took a placement test in my mid 20s and I was like 019 math
>>16894059
You look into whatever school offers the course you're looking at, and see what sort of bridging courses are available
Tips on what to do with your life?
Currently a second semester sophomore in university, I wanted to do business but didn't get into business college at my university because I did poorly first semester freshman year. I'm not really interested much in academia, but I took some gen eds based in philosophy so that's my major now with a business minor, and I do enjoy philosophy, but I still wonder if this is the right decision.
I love working on cars, and my car, and thought about mechanic school, but the pay isn't that great.
I plan on finishing college with this Philosophy degree and a business minor, but I don't know what to do after college.
Any help?
>>16894016
philosophy degree is gonna land you a permanent spot at the frycooker at mcd's
Find people you respect/admire and ask them how they got where they are. Even if it's just a quick conversation, it will give you a lot of perspective. Many people get to their ultimate path through a series of mishaps that end up pointing them in the right direction. I hope the same is true for you
hi /adv/
I am in my second year of grad school, and this guy that I have been seeing in the medical school dumped me. It's been the worst few months of my grad school life, and its hard to get him out of my mind. Literally everything sucked about school except for him, and I felt the most happiest with him, especially when I cuddled with him. We would make out pretty often, sometimes a bit ostentatiously like in the parking lot at night, sometimes kiss briefly when we studied together in the study hall and his friends would sit near us. I have never felt so happy and so special inside of a school environment in my entire life. When I saw him at school I just felt all of my emotions concentrate and they would get pulled out of me. The more I think about these memories the more I tend to tear up.
Even outside of school, we went on this really long, 6 hour hike with beautiful scenery. Probably every 10 minutes we would stop to make out.
And usually after exams were over we would get together and have sex, which would sort of release the pain of studying.
He has been pretty integrated into my life in grad school, and now that he is gone I have experienced the worst frustration of my life.
He is gone, quite literally because he ended up failing, and has to re-take his year next year. So I never even see him on campus.
When I walk around I literally look for him constantly. I walk through the library and try to find him, and I look at the parking lot hoping to see his car parked there, but I never do.
And I know he does not spend this much time thinking about me. I cannot help these thoughts.
This happens ALL the time whenever I develop a legitimate crush on someone who I can't have. Even if I don't have sex with the person, and there was some flirting going on, I get these crazy, incessant, and obsessive thoughts over my crush and I think about them every single day, hoping to see them somewhere throughout my day and I never do.
Every time I am in school I just constantly search for him, hoping to find him somewhere in the hall way. I would always run into him at school when we were together and it was so nice.
His passion is playing the guitar, and now I am teaching myself to play the guitar. In a way I do want to feel closer to him, but I also want something good to come out of this, where at least at the end I could develop some sort of skill because of meeting him, and in that way he could have shaped my life for the better.
But yeah.. I cannot get rid of this incessant "Searching" thoughts and feelings. I want him to be in the same room, or same place as I am ever so badly. Every single time I walk by the library I look in the windows to see if he's there.
Could you tell that he was failing medical school?
>>16894000
no i could not. he didn't tell me everything actually. he said that its because of an accident, and was on pain meds and could not study.
so he didn't blame it on me per say.
I really need advice. It will be easier if I greentext.
>be 23
>have severe social anxiety
>lost all my highschool friends 3 years ago after I broke up with gf who I suspected was cheating on me and later admitted to it
>had to start all over
>managed to make 4 new friends in 3 years yay!
>decide to move to a new town for study and a new start
>left my 4 friends but we still talk every day
>last week
>inherit 220k
>tell my friends, they were happy for me but didn't make a big fus
>one of them told their gf and she posted it on fb saying I'm a catch without me knowing (I don't use fb)
>she knows I'm an autist and was just trying to help
>the next day
>start getting 10-30 texts/calls a day, some from old friends asking how I've been but the calls are mostly from private numbers or ones I don't know
>don't answer and ignore all texts
>tell friends about this, they mention her putting it on fb
>today
>ex called twice
>on the third call I answered because I'm weak
>she was really nice, a total change from our breakup and wants to meet up since I'll be back in town this weekend to celebrate
>agree
As soon as I hung up I realised how stupid I am. After 3 years of not talking she can still just put it over me. Is there any chance she actually cares for me?
I find this whole ordeal revolting in all honesty, I want to see my old friends and talk to them even though they chose her not me and although I'm socially screwed I really cared for my old friends and still do I often think about them when I'm in bed trying to fall asleep.
Could it be that everyone just forgot about me and when they saw my friends gfs post it just reminded them I exist and they aren't thinking of the money?
What would you do? Call her back and say fuck off?
Say you cant make it, then ignore her forever. You never really tell anybody if you get into a large sum of money. I learned that the hard way and a majority of my family hates me but it revealed how much they actually care about me. But anyways as for your old friends, they're old and theres no point in try to relive the past high school friends never last anyways.
>Call her back and say fuck off?
Do it right fucking now.
You sound like a nice guy but your friends are just out for the cash, unfortunately money is part of social status. You're now one of the cool kids anon.
>Be socially inept guy
>Room with an old friend for a while
>The whole while we've lived together, her BF has been kind of an abusive jerk to her sometimes. Not quite domestic violence levels, but he frequently yells at her, berates her over stupid little shit, and insults her in front of pretty much everyone with no fucks given
>She's clearly bothered by a lot of it but she puts on a smile and bears it
>It's been going on for some years now, and she lets it slip to me that she gets really annoyed by it and sometimes wonders if they'd be better off as just friends
>Think nothing of it for a while and tries to give helpful advice
>The whole while I qq about being one of those guys who is told that they give good relationship advice but is still single
>A few days ago, we're venting to each other and she says cryptic shit about how she wants to 'follow her instincts, but she doesn't want to be a selfish and horrible person for doing so'
>Her BF the past few days has been getting worse about the yelling thing
>My mind immediately assumes the worse and creates this thought that she's dropping hints that she wants to leave him for someone else
>My body starts following suit, and now every time I see her or something that reminds me of her, my chest gets tight and my breaths shorten for a bit
>This stops happening if I'm doing something that keeps me from thinking about her and her situation
I'm starting to think that my subconscious is trying to tell me that I have a chance of picking this girl up, and while I would love to since I pretty much owe my life to her, at the same time I believe it'd be impossible for me to get with her even if she did happen to leave her current BF. How do I get over (what I can assume to be) this situation that I assume is me catching feelings for her? It's kind of hard to keep myself distracted long enough to not think about anything pertaining to her, and I'd rather not try to catch a date with the trashy girls in my area?
Sounds like you just have a crush on her. Try to forget it. She's already taken.
Any longboard riders in here
I'm a complete beginner and I'm having a tough time choosing which one I want.
It's between this
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00F9UIFLC/ref=mp_s_a_1_16?qid=1457500360&sr=1-16&refinements=p_36%3A1253557011&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65
Or this
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00FHWZY1Q/ref=mp_s_a_1_20?qid=1457500360&sr=1-20&refinements=p_36%3A1253557011&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65
let me guess you push mongo and cant ollie sounds like the classic longboarder
>Just remembered I had a late 4 page essay due tomorrow at 11:00 with citations
>Haven't even started yet, can barely stay awake now
How fucked am I on a scale of 1 to 10?
>>16893959
Get the fuck off 4chan and write your fucking paper
4, because it's only a 4 page paper
>>16893959
Better post about it on 4chan instead of actually doing it like an underaged faggot cunt.
