Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1387. page
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>me
>18 yo high school senior
>un chica
>insanely shy and awkward
>mildly attractive for nerd
>talk to loud outgoing pretty attractive guy last year
>always joking with me
> develop lil crush
>year passes
>tells me he joins air force
>i tell him i wanna join too
>gives me advice and such
>tells me to dm him on insta
>ends up adding me on snapchat
>pic related
Sorry i just needed to get this off my chest. I like him but i said no cause i dont wanna be super awkward when we hang out. How bad did i mess up? Ive been asked out by other guys but always say no because i dont like them back. When a guy i like finally asks me I still say no. Whats wrong with me? I dont want to go into college/army without even haven held a guys hand before
God damnit social retard just say you want to meet him and that you reacted this way because you got really excited because you like him.
Also never join the military for another person.
>>16894483
Ive always wanted to join, its not for him.
We arent even that great of friends. I dont know why he even asked.
>>16894462
You've had a crush on him for a year and nothing's happened yet?
Now this?
Hey guys, along time ago I had this dream that told me to take a bunch of friends and go to the "top".. I never knew what that meant and I started gathering a group in high school. Considering I transformed from an anti-social kid to a more confident leader. I started telling my friends senior year t hat we should start a club/organization and raise money/invest so taht once we graduate we will have money/etc. One of my close friends said I was trying to start a cult where the others didnt think so. I ended up losing quite a few friends in the process and I started a community service-social club and It was at 70 members strong and what not. Fast forward to now days I dropped the club but still have my close group of friends with connections everywhere. I left that life alone so that I could settle down with my gf but I keep getting invited to join the elks lodge and the freemasons (multiple invites). I've been thinking about my passion for wanting to change things and giving back . But in the same breath I know once I start joining these groups that I wont be able to go back to regular life(I'll be too dedicated)....What do you think ?
Who did the what now?
>>16894463
Illuminati
>>16894455
It sounds like you have some kind of issue. See a therapist to work it out.
If you want to join a group to do some kind of good work, that's good. If you don't fit fear of it taking over your life, that's ducked up.
So here's the my story
A few years back I hooked up with this girl at a party when I was 18 and one year out of high school and she was 16 or 17 and a junior. We were super drunk but we just made out for a while before I felt like i was gonna puke then I slept in another room. Never really talked to her about it or seen her again but maybe a year later a friend of the girls told me she thought i was another guy when we were hooking up and the girl thought we had sex. Now its been about 2 and half years since we hooked up and Ive developed pretty bad anxiety since then. Ive been obsessing over this and absolutely worried this girl may think I abused her or something.
Is this all in my head? Or is there anything I can do about this? I dont think I can just ask if she thinks I took advantage of her because like what the fuck kind of question is that?
>>16894439
it's all in your head boo. relax.
>>16894446
thank you, ill try <3
>>16894439
>We were super drunk but we just made out for a while before I felt like i was gonna puke
.....ah, the romantic memories of youth.
its been over 3 months since my boyfriend and i decided to break up. im functioning and i know ill eventually get married and all that with someone else but im finding it so hard to let go of him entirely. He and I don't speak anymore because he told me that he'd have to hate me to get over me, and here I am looking at all our memories. It's scary because it feels like it was just yesterday we decided to part ways adn the last time we had sex... but it's been 4 months now? it's a new fucking year for goodness sakes..
Why did you break up?
>>16894432
came to the realization that it simply would not work out. Our lives were on polar phases.. We broke up for briefly before then got back together and afterwards it just got worst
>>16894419
It's going to suck, and it's going to hurt. Honestly, the best advice I can give you is to just keep yourself busy. Focus on your work, concentrate on cleaning your house or study work (if you're in school or University). Just keep going until you find that someone else, and if you keep yourself distracted soon enough it'll be like it never happened.
I've been in love with my online friend for about 8 years now. We finally plan to meet soon. I want to marry him but there's one major, involuntary deterent holding me back--the fact that he's outside of my race and I'm dead-set on marrying within my race for some reason.
What do? Not pursue this further?
>>16894396
What's wrong with asians?
>>16894396
what are your races? and why are you so dead set?
>>16894411
It doesn't matter, I don't want it to skew your opinions. I'm mainly dead set because I want my kids to share my race, and because of some underlying notion that has been ingrained in my head. Probably irrational but I can't help it.
hey /adv/ i need this help real bad,
right now i'm talking to this girl shes awesome, absolutely beautiful. asked her out on a date she said yes, we're doing a thing next Saturday. only thing is whenever we talk we talk about random shit, nothing good just random shit. i see her feeling shit and she cant express her feelings and i feel as though she doesn't want to talk about it, although she did say to me that she does have trouble putting it into words. it really takes it out of me because i try my hardest to get her to open up a little bit every time we talk and we just go through the cycle of random shit again.
TL:DR- overall i just want to see if i can make the girl im talking to, to open up a bit more and maybe even express her self
>wat do?
How long have you been talking?
>>16895234
We had been talking for a quite a while before
Well when you become intimate with a person, he/she tends to open up after a while. Such was the case with me and my current gf (we are together for 2.5 years). Whenever we talked before we started to date it was just random mumbo-jumbo and unimportant stuff. She opened up some time after we hit off and when she felt she could trust me. However, dont mistake your girl "not being able to put things into words" with you and her having incompatible characters
How do you broaden your eating habits, if the only thing you like is bland and neutral tasting food?
>>16894361
Go to a restaurant and try different things on the menu. Go travel and you'll eventually have to eat local food. Eat chicken and rice until you want flavour.
>>16894365
Not OP. I find it impolite to order something at a restaurant and not eat it because turns out I don't like it. I can't eat veggies, for example.
>>16894369
How are you not dead from crippling vitamin deficiencies?
Mostly about what is right and wrong. I've been learning that a lot of people that I'm inspired by, bring me to the side and say some shady shit. Basically were they fuck over someone, but that person will never find out and might blame something else. Like NO way for them to find out. I'm not sure what to think.
>>16894321
Do you believe that morality is defined in a book written thousands of years ago? Do the end justify the means? Should people treat each other how you want to be treated? Should people be treated how you think they want to be treated?
Could you elaborate with a little clearer grammar?
Because what you're saying is interesting. Are you saying that your friends are involving you in plots they have against people?
An example would be great. Remember it's ANON!
How to have social-oriented fun?
After being in a relationship for 2 years, I've drifted from all female friends and don't go out anymore.
Unsurprisingly I also realized that by engaging in socially fun activities, I had the ulterior motive of impressing guys. Now that motivation is gone, and my bf is highly accepting/supportive (which is good!, but boring nonetheless).
Granted, I have other hobbies and I enjoy my boyfriend's companionship, but I really miss that aspect of my life, and I don't know how to fill the void.
Anybody been through similar life transitions? How to fill the "need to impress someone" gap?
>>16894311
>How to fill the "need to impress someone" gap?
impress your bf, every day for the rest of your life!
>>16894311
.. Impress your boyfriend, man I hate chicks like you, "I want a caring and supportive guy" so you get one "he's boring now I need to be validated else where" just leave him and let him find someone decent.
hey guys i need a little help, well actually alot of help. how do i not be neet? im 21, 300 pounds, 6'0, ive never held a job and im a college dropout, i only have a few friends only two that i regulalry talk too the rest i havent talked to in a year, ive only had one girlfriend in HS which ended badly with rumors about me being abusive and a stalker, I didnt have alot of friends growing up and in school i was bullied alot and given the cold shoulder at the worse they would kick and punch me while i walked home or steal my shit the school didnt give a shit id always get the blame even in front of teachers, my parents fight alot , somewhere along the way i lost hope and stopped trying i guess im just tired. sorry for grammar i didnt realize.
im just tired of going out and people looking at me like i dont belong
should i anhero? i wouldnt do it, it would just be another thing that i fail to follow through with. a part me does a part me doesn't, i guess im just as scared of death as i am of life.
>>16894305
Start exercising. It'll relieve your stress, make you happier, help you lose weight which will probably boost your confidence. Segue into taking courses and being a part of society again.
I have some trouble attaching to people emotionally
not really sure how to describe it to someone else
it's not that I avoid people, I'm generally considered outgoing when I'm around people
but I don't ever feel the need to have people around me
I have friends, but they always call first
it's not that I don't like them, it's more like that I don't need my friends near me
their personal struggles don't really mean much to me, it's like the people around me arn't really people, it's like a game or something
You're a sociopath on a maybe 2-4 scale.
>>16894299
me too, senpai.
prepare for a life filled with a general sense of disappointment and career success.
How do I come out to my family?
I am considering entering a relationship with a trap. She's beautiful, caring, and very feminine. She likes anime and Japan just like me.
Do I tell my family or just introduce her to them and let it work itself out?
Once I know this I'll have the confidence to talk to her for the first time and tell her how I feel. I'm really nervous, but also really excited!
What's your legal, physical gender, and what's your partner's? Also, tell something about your family. Then the advice will be more useful.
>starting a relationship with an openly crazy person
You're a brave degenerate, OP
>she
Should I turn in my final paper? I'm a third done and it is cringeworthy. Here's the details:
>92% in class
>psych class (not my major)
>0 on paper gives me 80% (assumes B+ on final, turn in extra credit)
>barely awake here
Should I even bother? I'm considering dropping out anyways.
When's it due?
>>16894238
I'd fail your punk ass out of principle if you didn't produce a final paper
>>16894238
Just turn in the cringe.
A 50% is still better than a zero.
Are your grades weighted?
if you masturbate too much, can you damage your johnson?
serious question, please don't make a mockery of this.
If you use too much force, maybe.
But don't put willie in the vacuum cleaner.
>>16894210
depends on your definition of masturbation. theres this thing called 'death grip' where you squeeze so hard that your penis has trouble cumming form the stimulation of something as loose as a vagina.
Yes, you can.
I recently started working teaching, related to languages. I learned a foreign language that isn't very popular and a lot of English native speakers can't speak, and there happen to be a lot of the native speakers of said language in my city, so without intention a job dropped in my lap. I've been teaching and making $20/hr, which obviously isn't great but it's fine for me considering I hadn't even worked before. I interviewed with a man who runs a translation academy and he's taken me on (sort of) as a teacher, but we're still in the preparation stage. He, however, is only paying me $18/hr for this, since I'm technically not certified to teach to foreign students. He mentioned there was a class I could take and a certification I could get which would compel him to pay me more.
Right now I'm working about 6 hours monday, 4 tuesday, 5 wednesday, and 4 thursday, with friday off. I'm also a university student so I can't, or at least don't wan to, work full time. He asked me if I can also teach 5 hours on Friday to a new student regularly. I said that I could, but now thinking more about it I'm not sure if I want to take this on considering I've already dropped a lot of focus on my schoolwork when the wage here isn't even that high. What I want is a raise but I can't ask for one yet since it hasn't even been long since I've started this job. But to be honest it will be very very difficult to find someone else skilled enough to translate or teach translation in this language who also gives the "certification" of being a white native speaker of English.
*Continued*
I'm somewhat new to the job world, I'm wondering what people think is the best option. I was thinking of either refusing the Friday work through email and mentioning that it would be worth it for me to do if I had a higher wage but since I have to focus on my studies as well, at the wage I'm getting it's not yet worth taking so much out of my time. Or, I could just take the work, and become closer with the guy running the academy, earn the money, etc.
What do you think is the best choice? To be honest I've been focusing a lot less on my University, but on the other hand I've been thinking that I wouldn't mind doing work related to this field in the future if I can make a career out of it, rather than my school major.
Did he write down on paper stating that if you got more certified that you get higher pay? Be careful.
The money isn't as important as getting the experience and perhaps the certificate.
Don't take the extra hours unless he offers much more money.
