>met a girl
>funny, smart, fucking beautiful
>instant chemistry, one of the most amazing conversations I have in a long time
>seems like literally nothing can go wrong
>then she tells me she's 18 and basically has no home already, living in different places
>she is currently staying in a male friend's house
>she was plucking his eyebrows while we spoke today
Am I right to be weary/taken aback because of this?
Little weird to be plucking someone's brows mid-conversation.
>>16896133
how did you meet her?
>>16896161
Isn't it "a little weird" to be in a house alone living with a guy, without even plucking his eyebrows? I mean, wouldn't that be kind of a turn-off for your dating mates?
I have this issue where I suspect cheating a lot, especially with my current girlfriend who is very pretty.
She's given me no reason to not trust her. She's awesome and we have a great time together. When we're apart though, my mind races. For some reason I just have this feeling of her cheating on me. She'll say she's with a friend and I imagine they're messing around. She'll send me unsolicited nudes and I wonder who else received them.
A lot of this stems from the fact that she's a freak. Never been in a relationship before, so I'm her first. We initially met as fuck buddies. She's brought up before an open relationship before but mostly for me. Also wants to do a threesome with another girl (my gf is bi).
She also mentioned once how she used to be a sex worker by having sugar daddies. She won't use those words, but that's what it is. Thinly veiled prostitution. My feelings about her cheating first started when she told me an old sugar daddy propositioned her. She said it'd be a good way to make some side cash. I said no and if you want to see other people we can break up. She works multiple jobs but has lazy work ethic so I know she wants to go back to it.
As I type this out I know the answer seems clear. Thing is these convos haven't happened for months. She has given me no reason to not trust her. I love her but these feelings are.. Annoying. And yes that's a good word for it. When I'm with her it's great, when I'm alone thinking about her it's great, when something tiny and insignificant happens it'll kick off the "cheating" thinking.
Really wish I could get this under control.
Fucked up the formatting
---
I have this issue where I suspect cheating a lot, especially with my current girlfriend who is very pretty.
She's given me no reason to not trust her. She's awesome and we have a great time together. When we're apart though, my mind races. For some reason I just have this feeling of her cheating on me. She'll say she's with a friend and I imagine they're messing around. She'll send me unsolicited nudes and I wonder who else received them.
A lot of this stems from the fact that she's a freak. Never been in a relationship before, so I'm her first. We initially met as fuck buddies. She's brought up before an open relationship before but mostly for me. Also wants to do a threesome with another girl (my gf is bi).
She also mentioned once how she used to be a sex worker by having sugar daddies. She won't use those words, but that's what it is. Thinly veiled prostitution. My feelings about her cheating first started when she told me an old sugar daddy propositioned her. She said it'd be a good way to make some side cash. I said no and if you want to see other people we can break up. She works multiple jobs but has lazy work ethic so I know she wants to go back to it.
As I type this out I know the answer seems clear. Thing is these convos haven't happened for months. She has given me no reason to not trust her. I love her but these feelings are.. Annoying. And yes that's a good word for it. When I'm with her it's great, when I'm alone thinking about her it's great, when something tiny and insignificant happens it'll kick off the "cheating" thinking.
Really wish I could get this under control.
Unless you have hard evidence, or a real reason to suspect her, then most likely nothing's going on.
Paranoia is part of human nature, but try and distract yourself when you get these feelings. They're not good for you, and they won't be good for your relationship.
>>16896135
If I was you, and the thought of my girlfriend cheating on me freaked me out, I would be freaked out right now because my girlfriend is a prostitute and likes being passed around and treated like one. also dude wtf:
>Never been in a relationship before, so I'm her first.
You keep telling yourself that. More like 20th. If anything, dudes that just use her for sex count extra.
What I can do to avoid hanging out with people every time they ask me to but without completely cutting ties with them? I have some friends from uni and I don't really mind being with them during lectures or doing stuff like studying at the library together, I just never feel like hanging out with them or with anyone else during the weekend when they ask me to. How can I avoid that?
Get yourself a hobby or something, so you have a reason to excuse yourself if they ask you to hang out. Or just say you're busy with studying.
Alternatively, you could just be open with them, say you just want some alone time at the weekend. Good friends will understand.
That's how you make connections.
I want nothing more than to leave school, or work, or any other situation and just go be by myself. But thanks to social constructs I'm forced to go out for drinks, or parties or hanging out.
It's a few hours of your life that will drastically improve your social life, standing and connections. Stop being a pussy and bear with it, you'll thank yourself later.
>>16896124
I guess I could try, even though for some reason I find it extremely hard to refuse whenever they ask. I also don't want them to think I am being rude and dislike their company or something like that.
>>16896137
But they are not important people or anything, I am not making any connections with or through them. Every time time we go out I hardly ever talk and just tag along.
How do you date with no money?
I like this girl alot, enough to ask her out. But Im a college student and Im unemployed at the moment.
Also im still living at home because of nojob
What do?
You're in college, all students are broke. Chances are there are 10,000 different events, concerts, and other time wasters that aren't school going on. Just ask her to one of those and when the time comes, push to go to her house, not yours.
>>16896086
ask her to do something free. most college peeps get their first dates to go with them to a campus party or a campus event.
for future dates you often do things like silly 'lets go on a picnic' shit.
but for the most part college dating is more akin to just 'hanging out'. Yes, some girls prefer to date guys with money, but you dont want to date these girls anyway, as unless you got the personality to back it up they will just use you for a few free meals then ditch.
for every girl that will only date a guy if he can afford to go out, there is a girl who just wants to hang out in the dorms and watch cheesy youtube videos (or what have you).
so ask her to a party. maybe coffee (you can spring for coffee anon).
Get a job
Anyone on Venlafaxine here? I started taking it 2 weeks ago and my libido suddenly dropped from pretty low to complete zero, it doesn't even feel like anything when I try to masturbate, it's kinda frustrating. I'm wondering if it's because of the meds or something else and would love to know some input from someone who knows their shit.
I was on Venlafaxine for about two and a half years, but had to discontinue it after I had a seizure while I was on it; what happened was, I was on the max dose of it and Wellbutrin, and I went off both of them for a week, before continuing them suddenly and at the full dose. This was a poor idea.
Anyway, keep on it for another week and the side-effects on your libido might go away; if it doesn't, talk to your psychiatrist about a med change if you find it really upsetting, or just deal with it if you can.
>>16896053
Ah, thanks, I think someone else from /adv/ told me to take it slow when I wanted to go off of it or it'd be not pleasant. That's really terrible what happened, I hope you're OK now. I'll make sure to remember it well.
I can deal with it since I don't get any kind of sexual urges so it's just whatever, I was just wondering if it's the meds or something unrelated, thanks a lot for answering me.
Hi /adv/, that's how situation looks like:
I know this guy for ~7 years, commute together to the same university. We have similar topics. Everything looks ok, but there's one problem: I have a feeling that from 1-2 years everytime I say something about - he have to reply like:
>No, it's bullshit
>What? No, definitely
>I would do it like this (Ok, this one isn't that bad in comparison to those two above)
Like I'm the one that is always wrong, and he knows truth about everything. I'm not envy about him, since it's obvious that he's more clever than I am. At least I think so.
Another problem is, that I can't hold a normal conversation with people - I can't OBJECTIVELY say if something is truth or false.
I can't say for how long if he was always like that or not, I simply don't remember. (I want to add, that for some time I had a depression-like state, feeling that I'm not that intelligent like ppl think I am. I often make logical mistakes in conversation, or have a problem with focus on talk. Everyday I try to improve my skills, but sadly - I still don't see any effects.)
(Mostly I'm open for critic, I can laugh from myself, but this one guy makes me irritated.)
>Inb4 throw him out of his life
It's not possible, because as I said - we are in university together, on the same year - also he helped me with some things, and in this case: I'm rather the one who slows him sometimes down. Also, I couldn't not face him there, since in my group there are too few people to avoid him.
Also, from some time we work in the same company. At first, we were commuting together with friend from previous school, which we both know. That second guy clearly doesn't like me, but I didn't do anything wrong to him. The problem appeared after one month, I heard everyday their talk about job, like:
>Yeah, I did X and Y
>I did A but something was wrong with B, so I do it tomorrow
>AND WHAT DO YOU COMPLETED TODAY, ANON?
So, Is it me being fucked up, or he is toxic?
If he's really pissing you off, just distance yourself a little. You can still commute together, maybe just be a little quieter, make it clear you want some space.
Uh, explain yourself better. I have no idea what you're talking about but from what I gather you come to him with a problem or talking point or idea and he bounces a counter point off of you. You have no intelligent reply to send back and then end up feeling inferior because of it.
If I'm right, then you're getting pissy about having a normal conversation that's slightly aggressive on his end.
If I'm wrong, then explain yourself better. Because if you're in university and this is your best story telling ability then you better be in university in a third world country.
>>16896114
You're right - maybe It's just because I can't reply properly.
And this isn't my best story telling ability - you can blame it on my lack of speaking english properly.
Hey so long story short.
Left my gf for 6 months cuz she was hanging out with other people and I didn't feel important enough to her. I was mean to her and a jerk. We both slept with people like 3 months ago, but now I just found out she fucked some guy like last week. She says it was a mistake and I believe her. I just don't think things will ever be back to normal, even though all I want to do is love her again. We started hanging out last week (after she fucked this guy). And she says she felt used, and all she wants to be is loved. I just want your opinions on this, she just wants to start beings friends again and doesn't think we can be together again because we have different views on stuff. DO you guys think I would be dumb to try again with her? Should I just enjoy the casual sex as friends (she really liked our sex, and I did too)...or should I just move on and not hurt myself or her anymore?
Casual sex will most likely lead to you both having more serious feelings for one another again.
If you're both close, keep her as a friend, but don't do the casual sex thing, it'll only lead to feelings and the cycle will begin again. If you don't feel that close any more, then distance yourself gradually, and eventually cut yourself off from her.
>>16896044
I like and appreciate your opinion. Thank you.
>>16896027
>Hey so long story short.
>Left my gf for 6 months cuz she was hanging out with other people and I didn't feel important enough to her.
ok
>I was mean to her and a jerk.
no wonder why you werent important
>We both slept with people like 3 months ago
ok
>but now I just found out she fucked some guy like last week.
so?
>She says it was a mistake and I believe her.
why the fuck would you give a shit again??
>I just don't think things will ever be back to normal
what's "normal"? people going on about their lives?
>even though all I want to do is love her again.
WTF??
>We started hanging out last week (after she fucked this guy). And she says she felt used, and all she wants to be is loved.
by who? you???
>I just want your opinions on this, she just wants to start beings friends again and doesn't think we can be together again because we have different views on stuff.
then how the literal fuck do you come up with this love shit and muh jealousy?
>DO you guys think I would be dumb to try again with her?
yes i preety much am sure you would be that retarded cuck
>Should I just enjoy the casual sex as friends (she really liked our sex, and I did too)
ohh, so you CAN bang her!! good!! smash the shit out her cunt, m8
>...or should I just move on and not hurt myself or her anymore?
does sex hurt to you both? id take it doesnt coz you said you both like it, so no.
I am pathetic, I don't know what to do. This girl I talked with alot and liked for a while but messed up my chances with found some guy online that she likes and is going to go to his house in florida for a week to try out a relationship with him to see if they work. What sucks was that I talked with her all the time and we had good long conversations but now that she found this random guy I was thrown to the side. I'm lucky if I get more then a sentence a day. I'm the only one who texts first because why the fuck would she care about me when she has that other guy. I made a promise to myself not to text her anymore and it went really well. 2 weeks and I didn't say shit and when she sent me a picture or whatever I ended the conversation asap. Bad part was we all hungout last week ( I didnt know she was going or else I would of backed out of hanging out) and I sadly had a very fun time with everyone. After that day I got weak and texted her a few days later and we talked for a while and ever since then I try to start a conversation but all I get is a short answer or whatever and it breaks my heart. I need to regain my willpower not to text her again and hopefully this time for good. Someone help me get back my sanity and willpower somehow, please im pretty desperate. Right now I try telling myself she doesnt care about you and she tossed you aside for a random guy so move on but that only worked for so long.
If you really like this girl, you don't have to cut her out of your life all together. Cutting down talking to her would probably be the best idea, but if you're the only one initiating conversation, she's not worth keeping around.
Most likely, things with this random guy will go sour (I mean, it's a random guy, what d'you expect?), so maybe just try and keep in contact so she's got a shoulder to cry on. Who knows, might lead to something more for you.
Well first off she never "tossed you aside." You "talked with her all the time and had good long conversations." I do that with a good 45% of the people I meet. What makes you special for it?
I'm calling b&. If you never asked her out, you have no reason to be this depressed unless you're well under the age of 16.
>>16896091
Never asked her out becuase im a virgin idiot who took way too long to make a move and lost his chance. And it was getting tossed aside what else would you call talking to me until she found a guy she really liked? Using me?
If you have authentic romantic feelings for fictional characters is there any return
Should be "A fictional character"
Of course there isn't any return. Fictional characters aren't real.
>>16896036
I mean return to reality. I can't notice or like the personalities of real women because i'm infuated with a drawing
What is the easiest and bestest ways to ruin someone's cars?
Do you want a legal way? Because there isn't one.
>>16896018
Sugar in the gas tank
>>16896018
Easy.
Leave a burning chunk of solid charcoal lighter on top of the back tires, near to the fuel tank.
So I glanced out my window and I saw that two really hot girls have hung hammocks on a couple trees in our apartment complex and I want to talk to them.
How do I leave my apartment and strike up a conversation with them without seeming like I'm going out of my way to talk to them? Or is it okay to do that? They're literally right outside... but not exactly on a walking path to where I could go to my car or something and pass them casually.
Plus, there are two older black gentlemen doing landscape work and they're like in the way.
I want this though. What do I do?
>>16896000
is there a general seating area around where they are? if so, just go read a book and then transition into talking to them.
if not, simply take your dog and go for a little walk and be like 'oh hey, nice hammocks you got set up here?'
wait for their response. from there you do a casual but flirty 'they for everyone to use?
if they are REALLY into you they might even say 'sure, come take a seat with us!'
but they will likely just say 'yeah, help yourself' with the idea that you can come back later and use them. this is assuming they are in a more common area and not say, in their own backyard.
are you hot tho? post a pic
>>16896007
>is there a general seating area around where they are?
Yes, but the two landscaper buys are sitting there.
>if not, simply take your dog and go for a little walk
My dog lives with my parents, and not with me.
Here's a drawing. How do I casually make my way over to the hammock?
Another little annoyance thrown into the mix: one of the landscapers now has a leaf blower going and it's super loud. I won't be able to have a conversation or they're probably gonna go inside soon.
>>16896031
you can wait it out with the landscapers. they might not be there long. the ladies might specifically be waiting for the landscapers to leave before they can 'really' enjoy.
theres no casual way about it. at best you can go down the path like you are going somewhere like the corner store, then on your way back just walk on up and talk about it. it'll be deliberate but a bit casual depending how you play it.
are you hot tho? be real, post a pic
Does anyone know a good credit card to apply for to start building credit? I don't have a credit score, but I was wondering which card would be good to apply for that will likely approve me. Any advice?
>>16895992
zero credit isnt bad when applying for credit cards. they all build about the same. what you want is low itnerest rates.
if you are financially stable so much that you dont intend to actually use the credit card (as in, buying big purchases to slowly pay off) then i recommend a line of credit or credit card through your bank. its pretty handy and simple and easy to get approved becuase they have the fallback of your actual account.
but if you do plan to just buy shit and slowly pay it off DONT use a credit card through your bank. as they can simply automatically steal money out of your checking and/or savings account to make payments when you REALLY dont want them to do that
Discover It
Chase Freedom
Card through your bank
Should get approval for any of these with zero credit history as long as you have a job.
Bomp
I'm in my second semester of college and I think I'm a better person right now that the guy I was in high school. I'm a lot more confident and I'm pretty good at talking to people and making conversation.So all in all, i'm pretty happy with myself.
But I still can't into talking to girls. Every time I want to walk up to one and spark up a conversation my heart starts beating really fast and my mind goes blank. I don't get it. I've been trained in public speaking and I've spoken in front of an audience of hundreds before. But somehow it's infinitely easier to do that than to talk to one girl.
Honestly speaking, I just want a gf but I've yet to find a girl that I've connected to and my shyness does nothing to help that. I've got no ice-breakers. How do I improve myself and start a relationship?
>>16895950
Have you tried talking to girls in class or in a group situation?
Girls like it when you don't take them seriously.
Be funny, I see hot bitches hitting on bald fat guys all the time in Australia because women care more about emotions. Make her feel good and she'll put out. I have those 4chan /adv/ things from ETYNKE but too lazy to post, there's a thread on /t/ with it if you're game.
You trying hard, keep it up OP
>>16895957
Sometimes, but I'm never sure what to say outside of the classroom context. I can never find a proper segue into a personal conversation, and when I do the moment had long passed. I feel nervous about doing it now because it's halfway through the semester and I feel like no one want to meet anyone new right now.
(1/2)I need suggestions on how to handle my friend with dissociative disorder (and maybe schizophrenia) as well as my own feelings towards him.
I'm 30, female. He's 25, FTM. I've been friends with him for almost 4 years. I've been through some shit and have been in multiple mental health institutions through my life, where I had been abused and starved. Him and me have always gotten one well, and we've always helped each other through things. However, the past 3 months or so, he's been very catty to me about my mental illnesses and seems to constantly put me down, telling me that what I have been through and the troubles I face is no where near as bad as being trans. It doesn't seem to stick to him when I try to tell him that pain is not a competition.
It has also started around the time that he started smoking weed every night.
I have been Pagan for many years, and so has he. I'm very spiritual, and I believe in past lives and spiritual energy stuff. My friend and I often do tarot and other divination reading, meditation, etc.
He offered spoke of a "curse" he had that made him live life in this body that doesn't belong to him. He talks about how he had to grow up as a "doll" and pretend to be someone else. I took this as a metaphor and an energy feeling to explain his feelings of being born female.
But it seems he literally believes this, and last night I found him speaking in tongues in a trance, where he claimed it was an ancient language that his dragon-god self - true form was talking. His voice and vocabulary had shifted, and he was going on about how hard it is to be in this body since he's used to having wings, tail, and horns. It was really pissing me off, because I felt like I was with a child playing pretend.
>I need suggestions on how to handle my friend with dissociative disorder (and maybe schizophrenia) as well as my own feelings towards him
Stopped reading there. Don't. Fone sane friends, stop hanging out with him entirely, and remember to burn that bridge to the ground.
Protip: been there done that.
(2/2)
I kind of just shut down and ignored him while he went on about hating humans and being trapped in the doll body. Eventually he noticed me not responding, and I just told him I didn't feel well. This prompted him to "chanel someone else" to be in control so that I would be "more comfortable". He "channeled" this other god who is female and goddess of true justice. Again his tone and vocabulary changed. He key trying to talk to as her, and I was getting annoyed, but I was trying to be a friend in realizing that he seriously has a mental illness going on here and can't help it. Eventually I said I wanted to sleep.
This morning he comes downstairs saying, "I can't go to work. I don't have the patience to deal with humans today." Then he started saying that he has to find an item that will break the curse so that I'm more receptive and comfortable around the others living inside his body.
I'm not sure how to act or what to say. He doesn't believe in mental illness, and legit believes everything is metaphysical or supernatural that people just can't understand. I also hate the it's pissing me off, since I've been around people who are mentally ill before and I have always tried to help them and be a friend for them. So why am I feeling angry towards a friend I've been with for 4 years? I know if I tell him that 90% of this stuff is not real, he will flip at me, and I don't want to lose him as a friend... As he has always said he doesn't like being around "non believers".
>>16895942
*find same friends
Any advice on living with a mild case of tinnitus?
Pic unrelated
>>16895891
a tinnitus support forum would be a better place to ask mate. guaranteed tinnitus sufferers there as opposed to random advice. they'd know better.
that being said, i doubt there is much you can do that your doctor hasnt already recommended. its just something that happens to you. safe for medically valid options what option could there possibly be? kinda like aksing for advice on living with being short... but at least then you can recommend a stool
>>16895891
It's something you just have to live with
Figure out what caused it and stop doing it. For me, it was loud headphone music. My tinnitus has nearly faded away.