Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1374. page
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I have a full time job that pays 9.75 an hour. My car just broke down and it'd be cheaper to just get a new one, I make $630.00 every two weeks, so around 1,100 a month. What's the best way to save money and get cheap used car? Please help.
>>16897475
1100 a month, full time?! Good lord how do you survive? Where do you live?
>>16897480
In GA, I have a lot of expenses too. They take a lot of taxes out of my pay check, I spend as little money as I can. I work at a hotel, front desk and don't do much so I'm not complaining a lot. I wish I had something better though, I'm constantly looking for other opportunities.
>>16897492
How old are you?
Do you have family/friends that can help you?
Do you have a degree? GED?
We need more details if we are going to help you plan your life out.
What I do is set a savings account and transfer a certain amount every month so like $75 every month into the account. Instead of going out to eat or go to the movies put that money towards the account and cook at home/ do free activities like going to the park.
so ive been with this girl for a little while now, about 4 months. i lucked out and came in at the right time. shes an easy 8/10 which is also the problem. other guys are always looking at her and flirting with her and i always have this sneaking suspicion that shes cheating on me. am i just retarded? nobodies told me anything, its all just speculation
That's just the downside of dating a very attractive girl. It's the same way anywhere in the world. Dudes are thirsty, and thirsty dudes are relentless.
You have to put some real effort into making sure she's happy enough not to stray, then just cross your fingers, hope for the best, and enjoy your time with her while it's all going good.
Well, friend, this is where that thing called 'trust' comes into the picture.
There is no guarantee she is not fucking someone right now. If you need constant validation she isn't, you aren't ready for a real relationship, which, incidentally, are built on trust.
So, trust her. Or don't, and leave. Don't become a control freak, love her for her, and risk the heartache like the rest of us. Either she will stay faithful and love you, or she will show herself to be another worthless human being. There are no guarantees my friend
Red flag! You're insecure and that's what's most likely to sabotage your relationship. Instead of worrying about what other guys think of her, work towards raising your own rating.
I have some issues, I guess.
I get depressed and feel really unstable and start crying all the time. Today I cried for an hour in the bathroom at work. I take Zoloft, and it helped at first, but now I think all it does is lower my overall level of anxiety a bit.
I don't get enough sleep despite my attempts with pot, ambien, melatonin, benadryl, etc. My sleep deficit builds up, and I get to a point where I become extremely absentminded and overemotional because of it, and then I'm either late for work, or at work but there's no point. I've had insomnia since I was 9 and have tried everything.
My doctor has suggested mood stabilizers to balance me out, but I'm scared of them dulling out my mind. I can't focus a lot (ADHD) and this is a huge source of anxiety for me. My head feels like fog all the time. And if I lose my ability to hyperfocus when I do, I'll flip. I've tried a lot of things for depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc. and no matter what, I end up having the same problems and feeling shitty. It feels like medication is just a false hope and I'll always be like this.
How do I make my brain sort its fucking self out?
You don't. You're fucked. Wait until brain transplants become viable so you can live like a normal human being.
>>16897490
Think you're right.
But I'm only 24. Maybe my brain will normalize a bit as I get older?
>>16897490
>brain transplants
?????????????????????????????
Anon, i've been thinking about Verbing a Noun, but wasnt sure how to verb it. could you help me?
>she clearly wants you to do this thing for her.
how do you respond?
and other trap questions.
sorry, should be she/he.
>>16897426
>sorry, should be she/he.
Lol, no it couldn't, get back to reality
I'm not looking for your moral judgments.
So, I'm considering killing myself, however;
I recently borrowed money from a family member and I owe (a small) amount to some debtors. What I'm wondering, /adv/ is what is the most efficient means of selling one's possessions? Is there someway that I could sell my actual identity so that someone could use what little I have to offer?
The reason I ask about the identity is as a means to get the most amount of money in the quickest way possible. That way I don't leave a financial AND physical mess.
Depends on where you live actually. US, Asia, UK? I'm genuinely curious as to why you're considering to kill yourself?
In the US.
It's not that I believe that life isn't worth living, it's merely a sort of euthanasia sort of argument.
I'm most likely not going to reproduce (not that I cant or don't have the option, it would just be irresponsible) and if I'm not participating in the propagation of human life then what am I doing?
I'm 30, Marine Corps vet. In school for philosophy (that's useful) and I just applied to fucking Taco Bell... If that's sort of any indication of the predicament I'm in.
Yes, friends and family would be sad, and it is selfish, sure. But is it not more selfish to continue to put pressure on them to care about me? Wouldn't it be more useful to rip that band aid off and release them from their continued concern for me? Being dead would be painful for them, but it would also allow them to only have that one emotion to feel, rather than my mother being concerned about me eating today or my father and siblings worried about my life. They could focus on their own concerns and their own families and only have the fond memories of me to remember (probably) rather than being forced to suffer my continued failures.
I'm not sure if that is a sort of clear enough response?
Hey /adv/ i feel like a huge pile of shit. I treat everyone i love like shit . i treat my friends 10x better than my family. Just recently i had a cousin tell to never talk to them ever again. I just been a real big asshole. I feel like ending my life in all honesty. I feel like they wont have to deal with me anymore and they'll be better off. I just don't know what to do anymore. What is wrong with me? I'm a monster.
First of all, if you're truly sorry for your behavior, killing yourself is simply adding more selfishness to the equation. Do you honestly think that you family and friends would want to see you dead? I can guarantee you, they would not.
So, instead of whining, actually try and make the change you want to see. You obviously seem aware of your transgressions and shortcomings, so make amends the best you can.
No, nobody expects you to solve things overnight, that is not realistic. Showing you are sorry can take months, years even, depending on how badly you fucked up. But, trust me, showing that you have the will to make things right again will be clear to those you wronged, and, with time, they may so choose to forgive you.
The important thing to note here is that they do not owe you forgiveness. All you can do is try and make things better, and hope you will earn their respect and love again. It's a process of healing involving not just those you wronged, but yourself as well.
He didnt by any chance say "dont talk to me or my son ever again" ?
>>16897402
Thanks man. Yeah i can see why that is selfish. I'm just an asshole. It just never ends. I realize the after i make everything shit
I'm paranoid. Not like I worry about things, like I have a constant anxiety over my relationship I can't explain. I feel afraid of something but I don't know what. I feel like crying and I don't know why. I'm constantly terrified he's angry at me.
I don't know what to do. We live together and I love him, but my problem will drive him away. All I want to do is have a happy relationship but my brain is ruining it.
What do I do?
>>16897378
Look up Hold Me Tight by Dr Sue Johnson. It's a couples counselling book that explores why we feel anxious or unsafe in a relationship.
>>16897396
Will do. Thank you
Any other advice still greatly appreciated
Just talk about your problems. If you communicate then you guys will turn out OK. Regardless. If you hide stuff or keep to yourself that's what ends relationships.
>in college
>be dating high school girl [spoiler]inb4 cuck, we still see each other often[/spoiler]
>her parents rarely feed her; only dinner occasionally
>mom calls her fat when she eats at other times even though she's one of the skinniest girls I've met
>dad yells at her nearly every day
>older brother is graduated but still acts like a child
>he frequently steals money from her when she's at school/work
>stole her ipod
>breaks her belongings
>doesn't shower and gets in her bed
>chases/attacks the cat, which is now incredibly timid as a result
>whole family makes fun of her acne
>whenever any of this is mentioned to parents, they yell at her
She's called me while crying about this many times and I feel terrible. She prefers school to her house because of it and it seems like all of her insecurities stem from her family. What can I do to help her?
>>16897375
Holy fuck
That made me cry
I hope you find an answer your your and her sake
>>16897375
Hard to believe imo.
I used to be with a girl that claimed to have problems such as you described, took me a while before i realized she was an attention seeking psycho.
>>16897375
Any chance she could move in with you?
I've been brainwashed into believing that all forms of approaching or making advances on women are creepy by default. I wont say by who but it started at a very young age.
How do I break out of the cage?
Do you have any female friends?
>>16897391
No, did you really have to ask?
Tell me how you would approach a girl, then.
And give more than one method/example
How do I respond to girls flirting with me? Like girls I wouldn't mind persuing a relationship with. Whenever it happens I usually give an awkward laugh followed by a deafening silence or try to change the subject.
Sometimes when girls flirted with me I would make fun of them. Call me Elliot Rodger but it was great seeing absurdly confident women getting knocked down a few pegs.
>Of course if I had actually tried to flirt back I would have just embarrassed myself
Never look at it as persuing because then you have something to lose/fail. Look at it as you would a good friend or family member. Flirting happens between guy to guy friends and family to family. But most of this is non sexual flirting. Watch comedies with actors like ryan reynolds or xac effron. They portray alot of flirting.
hey /adv/! Im 19 years old male. Together with my gf for 10 months now. Lost my vcard with her, lots of sex since then. Before her i had wet dreams only two times. Now, i have wet dreams every time when were not having sex for 2/3 days? My gf thinks that im cheating or fapping on other women while away since she sees the little amount of my cum, but whatever this is not the problem.
So whats wrong (or right with me? Is it normal that before gf i had 2 wet dream total but now im having one every time when im sexless for 2/3 days?
Sure, it's normal. Just means your body is used to having sex, so when you're on cool-down periods, your body is craving it even more. It's nothing unnatural or indicative of cheating. If your girlfriend need confirmation on this, tell her to ask her own doctor about it.
And no, dreaming wet dreams of other women is not cheating.
>My gf thinks that im cheating or fapping on other women while away since she sees the little amount of my cum,
If she is preventing you from watching porn or whatever run away now. You are in for a world of insecure bullshit. I know that isn't what you asked for. But seriously, run away.
>>16897413
explain, what do you mean? She just doest want me to feel sexual pleasure watching other woman. I would like if she did masturbate to other mean.
I'm currently learning a lot of my problems are down to myself not having self discipline and lacking will power.
How can I improve?
Pic related, it's the shit I look at then forget about the next day.
>Another one of these threads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D00atlIwwPw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yx0moKyWoW8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMnMp-d5pKs
Watch Conan the Barbarian and learn the Riddle of Steel
>>16897311
Thank you.
So this girl I've been interested in wants me to go to a concert with her. Here's the list of people going:
>her older brother
>her sister
>dude who also wants to date the girl
>me
What do?
You can always bang her sister and/or older brother if things don't work out between the two of you.
>>16897277
Whatever you want to do?
Go and be alpha, but not too alpha cause then her brother will probably kick your ass
>Had a toxic relationship, gf stopped caring about me
>Went to the point were she said "I don't care if we try to fix stuff or not"
>I decided to break up, did it.
>She went full mad, saying she "doesn't understand"
>Ex now tries to talk with me again, she feels like she's the victim.
>Says she misses me as a boyfriend, but more as a friend.
>She's treating me with love again
I even went (and I keep going) to therapy with a psychologist. What she said (the psychologist)
>She's a manipulator
>I have to cut all communication
>She wants what I offered to her, and she will not let me go because she fills some needs with me.
I see her on a daily basis (college, same classroom), even if I avoid visual contact she says hi or make an attempt of communication somehow, everyday. And I can't pretend like i'm a stone and just say nothing like she doesn't exist.
I still have feelings for her, and I love her, but I understand love isn't about possession, and I can't be with someone that doesn't want to be with me.
Today she texted me, and I replied normally, like any other friend, it seems she didn't liked my "neutral, cold" responses, so she started to post stuff like "oh I deserve true love" and that shit.
Any advice? So far i'm trying to be "neutral", I haven't posted anything in FB since we broke up, I haven't talked with her friends about that, I pretend we're friends, I don't talk shit about her, no offenses, nothing.
>>16897275
You're the one acting "weird" and over thinking the situation. She the one acting normal in that she wants to get you back to take advantage of you again. Don't be there for her. Focus on yourself guy. Let her make new friends/waste other people's time.
Very good bro. I think you handle the situation very well.
Keep cold, keep distance. Let her stay mad. Manipulative girls deserve teh mad.
>>16897313
I just pretend we're friends. I guess she wants to meet more people but she's the one that starts conversations and that stuff, not me.
She's the one that suddenly comes with me and hugs me, kinda weird, but I agree with you that I overthink the situation, after all this is hard for me because I still have feelings that I have to control.
Funny thing, she started to tell me her problems, and that she's starting with stuff like anorexia. I can only find 2 reasons for that
>She wants some help, she trusts me so she tells me that
or
>She says that so I keep worrying about her, and I keep being available for her, so she can get what she wants from me (attention, care) without giving anything. A win-win for her basically.
How can you tell anorexica is something you really have? My SO and I were having a drink and he was asking me what vegetables I like, to make a long story short I explained to him that I have an aversion to the act of eating. The mush in your mouth, big plates are overwhelming and when I get full (which usually doesn't take much) I hate it. The feeling is, how I would define, gross. I've never thrown up to lose weight though.
You can tell you have anorexia when you kind of stumble and pass out on your way up to the catwalk, and then blood stops coming out of your vagina every month, instead sometimes flowing out of your nose after the third line at the producer's party.
>>16897266
Take a look at your BMI. You might have a problem if you're underweight.
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm
>>16897361
Says I'm 18.9, apparently normal weight. I am petite, 5'1 and roughly 100lbs.
