Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1369. page
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I grew up without a dad or any male friends or relatives, and now I'm 22 and no idea how to man.
What do I do? I keep feeling like there's a thousand things I'm supposed to know but I don't, and I've got no idea where to start.
>>16898911
I'm in the same boat. In a lot of ways I'm still lost. I grew up without a father, but I at least had a lot of male friends who I hung out with. It didn't teach me shit though. They were white trash douchebags. From what I've learnt, I think a lot of the traits of being a man are innate. The key factor I think is ambition. Ambition to succeed, in whatever it is you're doing. Find your strength, and work at it until it's yours. I never had a lot of ambition growing up, and I've come to terms with the fact that I was, for the most part, a cuck. I would chase women, thinking that a relationship was the key to success. Nah. Women are a byproduct of success. And they'll go just as easily as they came.
I'm not good at much, but I know where my strengths are, and I'm throwing out as many lines as I can for the biggest possible return. Investing, business, app development, writing, science even. Anything I can to prevent my inevitable suicide.
You're young man. You've got plenty of time. Just don't chase girls like they'll solve all your problems. They don't. And they're boring as fuck.
Pro-tip from somebody who did, did, and did: there's no secret advice or stuff you're meant to know.
What you're feeling might be the lack of a definitive authority figure. You don't have a concrete and established standard to hold yourself to, so you're not sure where to aim.
>>16898921
I don't like women like that and for the longest time I thought I was gay, until I met a gay guy and realised I don't feel any special about guys either.
>>16898922
You're true about authorities. There have been none ever since I had the "adults are people too" epiphany as a teen and ever since there's really been nothing and nobody to obey.
Fell in love with this girl.
Told her I liked her.
Rejection and stuff but she was totally cool about it
Thing is I kinda just accepted it without saying anything about continuing to be friends.
I have her number so I could just text her again, but would that be weird? Is it healthy to be friends with someone you still have feelings for? Is it better to just let go entirely?
Not healthy til you can disconnect from feelings. It's natural to back off now.
you either relentlessly keep hitting on her or drop it completely
why would you want to be a doormat for her
>>16898948
Kinda has a point, if you stuck around, she might just be normal about it but you yourself should feel like a bit of a bitch for hanging round after she's just turned you down.
I say this only because you got deeply invested before asking her out. If you casually asked her out like you were just trying your chances and she said no, then sure you can still be friends. But not if you fell in love before asking, then you're kind of a loser if you don't cut things off.
so it starts out with me and my friend (we'll call him Jon). we've been unrepeatable soul mates for like years now. then we met this girl. (you can see were this is going) being basically to of the same people we both liked her and wanted to date her. we both new this and accepted it. we both hung around with her for ages and it turned out she liked both of us. as time went on he came to me one day and said they were now dating. i felt like i was stabbed. but i accepted it and wasnt angry at him or her. we were still the best of friends. there was this other girl to who we both had the hots for that just got out of her relationship. i thought this was my chance, so me and her became really good friends and she asked me out and then we were dating. as time went on jon and his gfs relationship went downhil as she had him on a leash and he was terrible at relationships. so they broke up. this is were the story goes bad. as time went on i felt sorry for jon cause i had a gf and he didnt. so (reluctantly) i let him and my gf do 'stuff' (the furthest they went was a bj). as my jellously grew bigger and bigger i told them to stop and they agreed. then i caught them sexting and i was so pissed of. but i forgave him and her. then me and my gf had unprotected sex and my parents were so pissed of and we broke up. time after that was horrible. all i wanted was her. i tried to get over her by avoiding her at all cost cause the site of her made me depressed. then her and jon went out behind my back... everyone in existance knew about this b4 me. this was so freaking hard on me. i couldent deal with it. so i begged him to break up with her, i told him it was her or me. and he did. then one day she came to me balling her eyes out saying she wanted me back. i just about died right then and there. {continued in next commment)
eventually we got back together and we were the perfect couple from then. but jon didnt take it too well. now me and my gf have been dating for a year. but jon will not go near her and me. and he wont talk to me about it. and we dont hang out anymore. and i desperatly want him back. he says i hurt him alot for dating her again behind his back. how do i get my soulmate back? without breaking up with her obviuosly.
tl;dr cunt
*unseperatable not unrepeatable
Hey guys. I've been learning Spanish for four months. I still can't roll my Rs. Should I keep trying to should I give up? How many of you Spanish learners can actually roll your Rs?
>>16898893
You should keep practicing until you can do it
>>16898919
I feel like giving up though. I know people who can speak Spanish fluently yet they can't roll their Rs and Hispanic people can understand what they are saying.
>>16898920
Don't give up, have you tried watching videos on how to learn it?
Well me and this girl used to be very close friends, and we were always there for each other, but one day about half a year ago i told her how i felt about her JUST to get it off my chest but she didn't understand me and pretty much abandoned our friendship because she just thought i was being like any other guy that liked her.
I want to message her, but i feel like it would just upset her.
Idk what to do guys
>>16898892
Don't, dude. I'm in a similar boat and I'm glad I didn't do it. It will just make you look weak and if she treats her friends like this, she's not worth it.
>>16898892
>but one day about half a year ago
dont. I did the same thing and it just made everything worse, trust me.
Don't do it. That's reputation-killing levels of creepy.
If she had rejected you gently, I would say that you might be able to contact her once your feelings had cooled and you had ZERO remaining romantic interest. But it sounds like she rejected you pretty strongly, and that means Never Again.
I'm sorry, OP, but she's gone. Let her go.
Can any anon help me find some source to learn body language?
I'm not sure if this qt secretly wants me to stop talking to her. She sits next to me although she comes to accounting late so she has to.
Take a class in interpersonal communication.
Hey guys....
What are some signs that your girlfriend is "monkey branching" and lining another guy up?
it's called branch swinging btw. There is no signs if you're the one being swung away from really, aside from the obvious ones like "there is this guy at work"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxB4phU_UqQ
>>16898874
she has a pretty close guy friend now and our relationship is sorta going downhill.. they do hang out frequently but she assures me hes a platonic friend and I dont have any reason to believe that they're up to anything.. It worries me cause they used to "talk" before he hooked up with her friend. Any advice?
Has anyone ever developed feelings for a friend, and then decided to tell them about it? What was the reason why you told them/held it in until then? What were the results?
Conversely, has a friend ever expressed feelings for you, and how did you deal with it?
Perhaps mention gender roles as I imagine male/females respond/ask differently.
Backstory:
>College Male
>I feel like I'm developing feelings for a female friend who I get along with very well
>Have decided to...
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touch her boobs and see how she reacts
>>16898859
>Developed feelings for a fellow male friend, never felt this way before
>end up telling him after we had a great night out together
>nothing changes
>eventually says he feels the same but doesn't want to be in a relationship
>over the next few weeks I'm really upset over it cause I don't see why we can't be together
>tells...
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Yeah one of my friends was interested in me at one point. Thing is that she had sex with four guys before, while I was a virgin. That just turned me off and I politely rejected her.
In January, I slept with a married woman. We ended up falling in love, but she can't bring herself to leave him because they've been together for seven years.
Two days ago, she told me she's pregnant. She doesn't think it's mine, but I do. She's tried getting pregnant by him multiple times, with no luck. She sleeps with me, and she magically gets pregnant. She checked her cycle, and it supposedly began back in January, so it's definitely a possibility.
I'm not sure if she wants to know who the father is. I think she would...
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>>16898855
that feel when your child is gonna be raised by someone else.
why exactly do you want her to leave him? This is the perfect situation, you spread your genes without the cost and effort. And why do you want a cheating cuckold to become yours anyways?
>>16898855
She doesn't love you, she's just a shitty person. You should get her out of your life.
That's going to be way harder if you have a kid with her.
I'm curious, let's say the kid is yours. What's your plan?
I found love for the first time in my life, she is a pretty normal girl and I am a loser, is it even worth trying if I'm:
>24 year old virgin
>anti social outside of my friend circle
>no job no car or even driving license
It really sounds worse than it is I think, on the positive side I'm pretty much socially adapted I can talk to people and make friends easy, just choose not to, have a good sense of humor and I'm knowledgeable in a variety of topics so...
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Get job, get license, and then get car.
>>16898847
yeah i know but what about grill?
>>16898848
fix yourself first then worry about others
Is it harder than ever to get a date, or am I just a pathetic sack of shit?
it's easier than ever really, seeing that dates are a waste of time for guys and generally guys are reluctant to go on them anymore. The real money is with getting sex-only dates and fwbs.
Either way continue lifting, and drop setting women as a goal. Getting women is an indicator of progress, not a goal to work towards.
>>16898846
>seeing that dates are a waste of time for guys >generally guys are reluctant to go on them anymore
Fucking redpillers. Ignore this bullshit. There is no evodence that guys are reluctant to go on dates in any numbers, and the idea that dates are a waste of time for guys is born out of truly epic levels of insecurity.
But it's true that it is, to some extent, easier than ever to get a date. I can't say whether or not you're a pathetic sack of shot -I just don't...
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>>16898877
>Says someone who has never done eirher
if this were true I wouldn't be so reluctant to go on dates.
also nice one: every man who doesn't want to spend his time, energy and money just for a chance to hear a girl fart through a walkie talkie = misogynist
dates are a waste of your time man, all it is is a job interview, were you interview to be the guy she settles for after railing double digit chads. A girl will know if she fucks you or not within seconds really....
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I know you get these threads all the time /adv/, break up bla bla, how do I get over her etc.
I just want to know if I am on the right way of getting over my ex and it would be nice if you could give me some direction. We did not have big fights or whatsoever but shit just didn't work out, apparently and we broke up in what I think is a good way.
What I keep doing is spending time with friends, meditation and self-reflection, reading, working, sporting, listening to music, etc. I also walk outside more, but it still takes me some effort not to think of my...
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As a general rule of thumb, it should take about half the time you were together to completely "get over" your ex.
Only thing I can recommend is to work towards goals that you feel would cement your idealistic version of yourself.
For example when I had a bad breakup I lost 50lbs, applied for university studying what I always dreamed of and took up amateur boxing.
Reconnect with your friends if you need to and put yourself out there when you feel ready. Don't be surprised if she dates again soon, it's just how it is.
>>16898866
Thanks man. Any tips on putting up goals?
My gf bought me really nice running shoes as a surprise gift... is she trying to tell me something?
I have put on about 20lbs in this last year but I thought I carried it well and she's kinda chubby.
Maybe it's nothing because I used to run and she wants to get me motivated to get back to my hobby... or I'm too fat for her liking. Thoughts?
>>16898773
Either way it will be good for you. Even if she doesn't mind the extra weight, she won't mind you looking better, and will appreciate you using her gift.
Buy her shoes too and tell the fat bitch to run with you.
>>16898773
>... is she trying to tell me something?
There are two scenarios;
Either she is genuinely being nice and wanted to buy you a gift because she loves you,
OR
She is concerned about your health/weight and used a really nice to gift to very gently and supportively encourage you to take better care of yourself because she loves you.
Its a win-win, you've got a great partner. Get your fat ass on the treadmill homeboy.
Is it legal to shoot a dog that is trespassing on your property?
My neighbor has some pit bulls and German shepherds that keep trespassing on my property and I hate dogs, and these dogs annoy me.
If I put up some no Trespassing sings am I in my legal right to shoot the dogs without penalty so long as the bodies are returned to the owner?
>>16898766
There are many other options to handle this situation that don't require you to murder an innocent creature.
You want us to tell you its ok and within your rights to kill someone's animals because they annoy you but we're absolutely not going to do that.
Call animal control, call the police. These are solutions. You kill their dogs and not only are you a piece of shit but you'll most certainly be charged with animal cruelty, seeing as they are merely annoying you, not endangering...
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>>16898766
Calling the authorities is always an effective way to get rid of pesky animals.
Proof right here...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdip3ypW6Kk
build wall
I want to go back to sleep, but my dog won't get off my lap.
I've tried pushing him off, but he comes right back.
What do I do?
D'awwwwww!!
>>16898763
beasts belong outside.
