Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1193. page
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Ok /adv/ I've been seeing this woman who is significantly older then I am and is the first time I've really dated somebody older than I, it's been wonderful, never dated somebody so seemingly perfect for me with all her flaws
Just curious as to her body language around me when we walk
Together rather then holding hands she'll move to lock her arm around mine, I've seen other older couples do it but never really encountered it before untill now.
I don't think she wants to get too attached as she is moving to another state for a while...
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Have you ruled out more practical reasons like height difference or sweatiness? Otherwise, she may just see holding hands as a bit immature. Ask her.
>>16943608
Goddamnit that quote is depressing, thanks anon. Taking all I have to not go crack open a bottle of booze to that one.
>>16943916
Yeah mate we are relatively the same hight and I don't sweat in my hands, I thought it might be that she is getting attached all be it that she is moving away at the end of the month
how to resign myself to a life of solitude ?, I'm a 18 year old guy who has decided to spend the rest of her life without love, I am virgin and I had only one girlfriend in all my life and I really not have luck with girls, my physical appearance not accommodate me because I do not have an attractive face, and I'm too thin, besides, it's like the fucking fate was against me, whenever I try to meet someone, things happen that prevents me to reaching something more than a friendship, for example, the other person already has someone in your life or just does not...
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>>16943591
Well, you can stop being such a self pitying shit about it.
Once you've a accomplished that, realise that you have it backwards. That a relationship would be more trouble to you than to the other person, and that while you wouldn't be lonely you most likely also wouldn't be happy.
If you live your own life your own way you can achieve contentment quite easily. Compromise with another person is way too much of a hassle.
>>16943591
>18
>gonna spend the rest of your life alone
>on average has about 57 years to live
Yeah buddy, go live in the mountains and be a hermit and whine some more. Maybe you'll grow up in a few years.
>>16943632
I considered it an option believe it or not, however, I really understand that human beings are social by nature and have needs of their peers to have psychological stability, but I find it impossible to have a chance with the girls, if you knew me better would understand, anyway thanks for your advice
Hey /adv/
I'm going on first date with a girl this weekend. I haven't been on a date in a few years and I'm nervous as hell.
Any first date ideas? What should I do? What shouldnt I do? Advice?
>>16943577
>Be nice
>Don't be creepy nice
>Don't be a dick
>Don't be creepy levels of anti-dick
>Smile
>Don't force a smile
ah I'm just trying to sound smart you'll do fine, friend, I've never been on a date myself. Although if stuff goes well, maybe I might go on one in less than two weeks? Who...
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>>16943630
thanks
but im pretty anxious and nervous
>>16943630
What does creepy levels of anti dick mean?
What type of bag should a man have: briefcase, satchel, backpack, duffel bag, hiking pack, man purse, fannypack ? What do you carry your shit in? Where the fuck do you get your bags from?
>>16943547
Depends on what you need it for and what you'll be putting in it. I work in an office and I only have a notebook and a few pens, so a canvas briefcase suits my needs.
>>16943547
a man should have someone that carrys his shit for him, as he is too busy manning to be bothered with such things
http://www.offworlddesigns.com/bag-of-holding-engineer-bag/
This is what I've been using recently. Not the cheapest bag I've ever used, but it works great.
My boyfriend's female family members bully me.
So, my boyfriend and I are in our mid 20s, and have dated for over 6 years.
He started bringing me to his family events about a year into the relationship. He has a giant and wealthy family that throws formal banquet events constantly for people's birthdays and celebrations and such. So going to these things are nothing new for me.
My boyfriend's cousins range from about 18 to 35. And there are like 20 of them. Mostly female.
And a lot of them have acted very rude to me. Just like they are on a plane higher than me. Or they ignore me and make a stank face if I say hi. My boyfriend's sibling says terrible, untrue things about me to them. And likes to just paint me as this poor, ugly, white girl to them.
So, in return, they all treat me horribly.
Last night, I have never felt so defeated and bullied in my entire life. We were at a banquet event. And they still like to do family all-ages games just for fun. We were doing a game like hot potato as we sat in our chairs to see who gets to take home the centerpiece from the table. His cousin sat a couple chairs away from me, so she was carelessly throwing the object at me. Then she threw a couple more objects at me. Then the objects hit my coffee. And all the hot coffee spilled all over the table and all over my lightly-colored dress.
Instead of apologizing, my boyfriend's sibling literally pointed and laughed at me. Then his cousins started laughing at me. And the laughter didn't stop. Like I knew they were just laughing at me.
My boyfriend was next to me, and he just helped me clean things up and we walked outside. I held it together for the rest of the night. I didn't seem mad. I just shrugged it off as an accident and said I was fine.
Cont.
>>16943517
Cont.
These aren't teenage girls. The girls that laughed at me are almost mid 30's.
When I got home and was alone, I cried so hard. I don't know why. I was bullied badly as a preteen/teenager by girls just like this. I guess it just brang up a lot of emotion. I even visited my mom in the morning and cried in her arms.
I have never done anything terrible to my boyfriend's family. I always try to match everything they do to me with a smile. It just feels hopeless now.
I...
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>>16943517
>So, my boyfriend and I are in our mid 20s
This is the main issue here. The fact that your boyfriend doesn't stand up for you is very sad.
You let them walk all over you and so does he.
The only true thing you can say about people is that they will treat you how you teach them to treat you.
The fact of the matter is when someone slights you or does something out of line you need to confront them then and there, and if your boyfriend refuses to have your back then you need to find a new boyfriend because you can't spend your life with someone that feels comfortable standing by silently while you are bullied and insulted.
Its unacceptable, and its no way to live.
Stand up for yourself. It doesn't matter if it makes a scene, it doesn't matter if you don't get invited back. Show them that you have your dignity and you refuse to be their verbal punching bag.
If your boyfriend won't support you in this then you have a really shitty boyfriend. It doesn't matter if it is his family, you deserve better.
What the actual fuck.
Are you dating a baboon?
Honestly senpai bullying dynamics are the same ages 5 to 95. Being passive actually does not work. Next time you need to stand up and either start screaming bloody murder or you need to go for the neck. It'l look better if both you and guy go for your guns at the same time.
Don't think you can do that? Stop going.
I woke up this morning sweating and panting and just general freaking out. I typically don't do this but it felt like everything about my life started to set in on me.
I am 25, never had a girlfriend, never had sex, never been drunk, never been high. I will be fucking THIRTY in 5 years. Its panicking to even think about it. As I grow older.. the quality of single women just skyrockets down into the shitter. Single Mothers.. maniacs... I just can't find a decent girl with no kids. IS this city I live in fucked?
I am freaking out because I have done like...
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Calm the fuck down. 25 is still considered young. And my fit 20 year old manager (im 20 too) is dating a 30 year old. It's quite common for women to prefer older more mature men, take advantage of that and go for the younger ones.
You had a reality attack.
You saw things as they are.
You want to fix it?
Well you can't fix the world.
But you can fix yourself.
Hit the gym.
Not even fucking kidding.
Go to the gym 3 times a week.
And you'll feel like a million bucks.
You'll see muscles come in.
You'll flex in the mirror before shower and see yourself strong.
Then you'll begin to accept that women might want you.
Because it's true, they will.
You have a job, yeah?
Then you're good.
Job+gym=Woman catnip.
If...
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Girl here (26), and I know the feeling. It happens to everyone, just for different reasons (health, job problems, no normal guys above my age who are nice and single/without too many issues)...
Just don´t worry. Guys can take more time than girls in these things.
Anyway maybe try to find new people in a college/university, workshops or generally somewhere else than only bars and such? (Although some events might have even normal people there ;))
Little brother asked me for condoms because I have some. He's 15, I'm 19.
I live with my parents still. I gave him a big speech about safe sex and rape and shit and he told me not to tell my parents.
What do I do? I feel like I shouldn't have given him any. He's too young.
If he's going to have sex either way it way as well be safe sex.
>>16943484
He's going to have sex anyways. He's not going to go abstinent if his brother doesn't give him condoms. Be glad he's practicing safe sex.
Tell him to buy his own.
I've spent most of my life oveanalzying and absentminded. Only now I'm I more present and realise how weird I looked to people back then? How do I overcome this embarassment?
Embarrassment over what? The past?
The past doesn't exist anymore, it lives on in fading and contradictory memories tainted by your present attitudes and biases. You are literally worrying about nothing, and worse, you are wasting the present moment doing so.
>>16943481
I truly do understand this.
But all my distance relatives or friends just have that embarrassing image of me. I can't bare to face some of them.
>>16943504
What happened? Did you do something awful, get caught masturbating, or were you just a weird kid?
I'm worried I'll be stuck with a low-paying job because I'm not good at math (I can't even do algebra). I might as well kill myself, because I won't be of any use.
What do I do?
Get into government. $40k starting, barely do anything most of the time. Look into the non-police branches like DOT.
a minority of jobs require algebra or anything beyond it. your deficiency mainly limits your options thorough education you won't be able to get because math.
>>16943462
>Minority of jobs require algebra
I don't believe you.
>want date for last prom
>decide fuck it and cold approach girls and staight up ask them
>high test qt says yes
>can feel the convo dying
I do interesting stuff. But at the same time don't wanna blab about myself. Should I go the comedian route and try to make her laugh alot?
Wat do brahs
Back round on me if it helps:I'm a socially akward sporty guy that does track and enjoys nerdy stuff.
Should I keep questioning her...
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i would continue, and then throw in the "we should go for some food " line.
>she says NO you play it off - "thats would be crazy"
>she says YES, job done
>>16943463
That's the sort of thing you should ask in person.
>>16943467
....this is why you get a girls number....tip for the future.
but seeing as this is a prom thing....man you at high school...just ask the damn girl
Post advice pertaining to anything you want, as long as you've found it helpful and true in your own life.
The person you think you are is miles away from the person most people experience when they interact with you.
>>16943449
Does this have to do with narcissism?
>>16943460
It can go either way, from the person who thinks they're the shit to the person who thinks they're a piece of shit.
Relaxed anons, how do I loosen up? How do I stop being a control freak and trying to have power that I obviously don't have over everything around me?
How do you get over the fear of letting go entirely?
I recommend this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Power_of_Now
Should be able to find a torrent or a copy at a used bookstore. Basically rehashed Buddhism but it really puts things into perspective.
Alan Watts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Qptyt0-S9U
Take LSD
Not even kidding.
Part of the trip is the ego death.
Where your identity stops mattering.
It's been shown to help PTSD. Surely it'll help you
I want to try something new:
>give your best advice about anything that changed your life in a preferaly big or maybe small way.
it should be things that people don't even question about. something that you found out by accident, that is just a realy handy tip in your day to day life.
or it could be "note-to-self" stuff about stupid shit you did.
whatever be creative, this is 4chan, do what thy wants.
Your Fortune: 4chan/adv/
don't go to 4chan
>>16943393
/thread
goddamnit fuck you 4chan. I thought this could work
uuuh
is there a way to bounce back from this
an episode of HIMYM had me feeling extra passionate
Only in learning from the mistake and never doing this again.
this is my ex btw
>>16943357
+1 for Windows Phone.
Yeah you can bounce back, as a friend. Women's attraction to men is like a light switch, on or off. THey aren't attracted to their friends.
Please help me /adv/
I think I am slowly losing the ability to converse. The more I talk to people the more I feel like I cannot think about anything else than memes. I try to keep up the conversation with interesting or relevant stuff, but it always ends in me thinking about memes. Whenever I see or hear something that resembles a meme I just feel like mentioning the meme itself. My closest friends are familiar with most of the memes but I know that if I bring up something closely related to memes I will just sound stupid. What should I do to stop my obsession with cancer...
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>>16943352
>What should I do to stop my obsession with cancer stuff that only me and other random faggots on the internet find funny?
Spend less time on the fucking internet?
>>16943352
Why don't you get off 4chan and the rest of this craphole Internet.
"I can only think in memes".
What the fuck is it with these 1st world problems?
>>16943352
So spend less time obessing over memes and your mind will find new things to consider, and eventually discuss with others.
