Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1190. page
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I've always been put off by "self help books". They just seem kinda cringy to me in a vain sort of way, sort of in the same way I used to think about lifting before I actually started it. Are they scams for vapid stupid people, are there actual merit to them?
>starts lifting
>is considering self help
it IS a fucking gateway drug, next thing you know you'll want to "inspire" people with your generic bullshit.
It's just people writing stuff down that they think helped them on a personal level. Aslong as you don't see them as guides you have to follow religiously but instead take one or two things with you that peaked your interest you're good. Look at it like you see /adv/. Juat a bunch of other idiots that think they have the secret to everything. Everybody knows stuff about a topic that you don't know yet and that might be helpfull for your own happiness/success/wellbeing. Sometimes it's things you aready do/know, but seeing it written out and in order is helpfull at times. It helps to make some room in your brain cause you know you can always go back and read up on it again if you feel confused. Just give it a try. Don't pick a book just becausr it's hyped. Find one that catches your eye. For me, i have to really think that thw author is somebody i want advice from. If an ugly fat old lady tries to tell me about how i can have the best body ever i'm going to be sceptical. Or if a new-age guru tries to tell me that all i need is love i'm not going to read that. Be picky. It's as if you can choose from a wide range of "mentors", willing to let you in a bit on their thoughts. Nothing more. It's as if you have a long and intense talk with a friend. They might have a point but aren't always right.
>>16944527
Helpful, thanks.
I want to kill myself
I think about it all the time
I don't want to live but I'm terrified of fucking up and having to live even worse than I am now
I just want to die
Helium
>>16944472
Pick some form of exercise, running or lifting or swimming or trecking or riding or something.
Do it untill you puke.
Everyday for a week.
It's less painful than killing yourself.
You will most likely feel slightly better, good enough to move on to fixing your shitty brain, which is causing you pain for no logical reason.
Dude, don't kill yourself. Life gets better I promise. I know I sound like one of those faggot liars that just says that, but seriously senpai, you can make it better. No one can help you but yourself. For realz tho, you'll get through this (:
A little under three years, and i just cut myself again. Honestly, i don't even know why. Back when i was younger, i used to use a dull knife because it was all i had, and this time i used a razor and fucking hell it bled like a mother fucker. The past 15 minutes ive been applying pressure and finally put two band-aids on it just to get it to stop for tonight so i can fucking sleep.
>Be me
>Be sophomore in college
Whats going on in my life that may have caused this:
>Working 10-15 hours a week at Stop n Shop
>School work is getting more intense
>Got back to school yesterday, and my camera bag (for my photo class) is nowhere to be found.
>believe it's been stolen
>no GF, but desperately want someone who actually likes me
>very few friends
>Awkward as fuck and can't stand social situations most of the time
The thing is, i could smoked a cig, or some weed, but i thought about it for a good 20 minutes and decided on cutting myself.
Why did i choose this? /adv, please tell me because i don't fucking know right now.
Pic is not me, just found on google
Don't beat yourself up over it (figuratively or literally). Relapses happen. There really isn't anything quite like that endorphin rush and feeling of release from cutting, so even while you may know it's not cool, the urge to do it can be pretty powerful. Sounds like you have chronic stressors and then the acute stressor of your camera bag going missing was the straw that broke the camel's back. You're reverting to destructive ways of coping because your regular ways are insufficient, and in the past, the cutting seemed to get you through.
How deep are the cuts? If it looks like you might need stitches, you should go to the ER or a doc in the next 12-24 hours if you can. Otherwise just keep them loosely covered so they stay clean, and monitor them for signs of infection (warmth, swelling, pus).
Here comes the part you may not want to hear. Consider seeing a therapist. Campus counselors may or may not be able to help you long term, but maybe stop by and see one anyway. They can help you figure out if you should see a regular psychologist or not.
Whether you decide to see a counselor or not, you must do whatever you can to reduce sources of stress in your life. Even if it seems impossible, at least try. If there's a class you can get away with dropping or sloughing off in, do it. If you have a friend who's always getting on your nerves, ditch them.
At the very least, you need a support system, people you can turn to when shit goes downhill. Friends, parents, siblings. If you can't turn to any of those people, then you should definitely find a counselor, because humans aren't made to bear shittons of stress all by themselves. Yeah there's a lot to be said for manning up and dealing with life, and college is a good place to do that. But cutting is a sign that you're mentally overloaded. There's nothing wrong with asking for help, so do it.
I hope things get better for you OP, I used to cut in college too from the stress. Shitsux.
>>16944464
If you want a girlfriend, let me give you some advice and tell you there's nothing more unattractive in a man for a woman to know that he cuts himself either for attention or out of emasculation. My advice? Fucking. Stop. Now.
>>16944499
This.
Plus.... not just unattractive to women but unattractive to everyone.
No employer is going to consider a cutter or special snowflake for a real job that pays good money. They see you as unreliable and unstable.
Likewise friends see someone who cuts as weird and they avoid getting you involved in their normal activities, worried you'll flip out or hurt yourself over some minor meaningless drama.
Cut yoUr Nonsense ouT.
Hey guys, I'm having sex for the first time with my girlfriend next week. Any tips?
>>16944456
Just the one you're sticking in her. Godspeed OP.
Don't eat anything heavy.
Poop and pee everything out before.
Stretch!
Have water, towels and wipes ready.
It's lower than you think.
Bring condoms and wear them.
>>16944456
Never verbally ask her for anything, just do it. Never ask to change positions, and for the love of god do not let her take control in bed.
I have a gambling addiction.
Even though I have a decent job, I live paycheck to paycheck, even eating rice, drinking water, and eating a friend's left overs to get me by so I have money to gamble with.
It's actually betting that I've always done - I love the rush of the risk of putting my money up. Even though I have what they call a gambling addiction, I've never been to a casino.
I kind of quit cold turkey for almost two months until I ran into an old coworker that I know plays poker. He and I aren't friends but it was a known fact that I had a gambling addiction at that job. I asked him if he would teach me. He agreed and even acknowledged in the conversation that he knew I had a gambling addiction.
He, myself and two of his friends came over to my apartment where they taught me poker. I was losing because they were teaching me as we played and they weren't giving me advice on how to play well, just the rules.
It became obvious partway in that they were doing this because they knew I had an addiction, I was an easy mark, and they knew I would let them clean me out. They said things like, "You can't quit can you." One of them described the fact that I kept playing as, "bizarre."
I paid them via PayPal and an ATM. I gave up my TV, Xbox One and games, and an Alienware desktop computer that was given to me as a gift this Christmas. I'm writing this on a six year old laptop that computer had replaced.
I want to meet them again next time I get paid. I am more worried that I wont have enough to make it as intense as that first time than I'm worried about how I'm going to eat this week. Having my bank account emptied, a credit card maxed, and my electronics raided didn't hurt bad enough to want to stop. I'm deep in regret.
Even though I know I'm getting drained by them, I won't hurt my chances of doing this again by confronting them.
What's my rock bottom? Do I accept this and run myself into the ground until something clicks and I can stop?
I have to take a shower before I go to bed here. I'll be back to check your replies in 15 or so.
You need help. Seek therapy or support groups in your area. Do you have a friend or family member that you trust that can hold on to your paychecks and your debit/credit cards?
You may feel that this is how your life will be forever, but it doesn't have to be. You are almost halfway in changing things around - knowing you have a problem. You don't have to wait until you hit your rock bottom to start to make a change in your life. The next steps will be hard, but you can fucking do it. You need support and not people in your life to enable your habit and take advantage of it.
>>16944452
It feels impossible but people obviously come through. Thanks for your encouragement.
I think part of the fear comes from having been laughed at and ridiculed to my face by these men and taking it politely and laughing along with them (which made it only funnier for them) because I was afraid they'd stop. I was afraid they'd stop taking my money. That is so humiliating I cannot describe it.
I have very painful cysts like this all over my body, I wish I could take a photo of my back to show the worst of it.
I have had these ever since I started puberty, around 12 and I have been on multiple and even prescribed medicines including Accutane which didn't help me at all and I stopped visiting my Dermatologyst after 3 resultless years.
I think they are caused by the steroids I had injected into my lungs as a 3 month premature newborn but that is just a theory.
Any help is appreciated
>>16944405
send them a cease and de-cyst order
or see a doctor and stop asking 4chan for advice that requires a medical license
>>16944413
Kek
But I've already seen a doctor for 3 years with no results and more treatments than I can count, I am asking if people have found anything through their own experiences.
>>16944405
in general, cysts come back if they've been drained but the sac remained in there. if you dermatologist wasn't properly removing them, you had a shit dermatologist.
How do people just have sex with girls without falling in love? I always fall in love and it sucks
I wonder the same. ;-;
>bump
>>16944400
Maybe if you had sex you'd know.
>>16944400
Lack of emotional attachment and/or high libido.
Okay guys, so I'm in a situation here.
I'm 19 going on 20. Still virgin, hooked up with quite a bit of girls just never fucked anyone yet. I have had multiple chances, one girl literally told me she wanted to fuck, and so did I, but once I knew it could happen I got cold feet and told myself I could do better, even though she was a 8.5/10. Couldn't do better, and now she hates me. About three or four other girls I could've fucked too, but some how messed up each time.
Now there's this other girl, who obviously likes me. However, she works with me, and actually just got transferred to my department. I wanted to fuck her, but now that I'm pretty sure I can, I'm getting cold feet again and don't know if I should.
I don't know if I should fuck her because 1. She's like super liberal, bisexual, believes in gender pronouns, sjw type stuff. 2. She works with me. 3. She's straight up crazy. 4. She's so crazy I could see her like getting hella mad I don't like her and just want to fuck/that I'm conservative
/pol/ack etc. That she gets pissed and lies about me raping her or sexual harrasing her at work so I get fired.
Reasons I should fuck her 1. She hot AF. 2. She hot AF. 3. Finally lose my virginity.
What do?
>>16944369
Do what you want. It seems this specific girl has lots of cons. You've already had 4 or 5 chances.
Another will come and then you will too.
>>16944390
Ayyy
>>16944369
your problem is that you re being too picky about what you see in a girl, I can honestly say that looks don't make the relationship.
you need to be accepting of other peoples intrests/personalitys and shit.
So let's say someone voluntarily sat next to you during class, and you never turned in their direction nor talked to them the whole time.
How strange is doing what I did? And what do normies do when someone sits next to them?
It's not strange in my opinion, especially if it's a fat woman who smells like a bag of SICK.
I'm sick of these fat moaning holes, they need razors stropped on their fucking blubber, they need their teeth hammered out, whores, voids.
>>16944367
I usually smile and say hello, all cute and alpha like. Pic totes related.
A week and a half ago I lost my car due to hit and run. I'm using my brother's car for at least a month and a half and attempting to save up but...
I feel like eating a gun. I'm at work now and I just can't stop from feeling agitated and from feeling tense. The wrecked happened on my way home from work and I know I have to take my normal way back. I've been stressed out since it happened and I've had to go from sleeping during the day to having to be up all day...and am now forced to go back to sleeping during the day.
I know I can't just end myself because I've had enough people come out and tell me that I just have to keep going...and I can't off myself knowing I'd hurt them.
I'm hoping I'll have maybe 7.5k by the end of May or so but I don't know if that'll be enough to get a car that will work. I have a shit job and after saving up for so long I'm back to square one and I just don't want to deal with it anymore.
>>16944355
Whoa chill, its just a car and money.
7.5 is heaps for a car anyway if you're talking dollars, just get a second hand one.
>>16944366
Without a car I can't keep going to my shit job. I've tried looking for a week solid and everything is marked up 10k and beyond so it literally doesn't matter where I look, that's the baseline. As of now I have 3k. I'm pretty sure my insurance will come through but the third party holding my car may be holding it hostage because they don't like that I took out my speakers from said wrecked car. They're after market so it shouldn't be any of their business.
>>16944376
shit happens. be glad you're not crippled from the accident.
If you are in an amazing relationship with the person you love and would never cheat on or break up with, why would one develop a crush on someone else?
>>16944296
Did you or your partner do it?
Probably they are bored in the relationship
Do more stuff together and make it exciting, if their attention is going to another person then you should try to put more effort into making your partner feel wanted, excited, ect ect.
I am a man in a relationship with the woman I am going to marry. We've bought a house together because of a particularly good deal coming up through family - it's that serious.
I've been away from her for a month, and she has been distant in terms of communication because she is very busy. I don't blame her. I love her and think she's perfect. But I struggle with depression, and it's never been as bad as it is right now.
I've started talking to another couple of girls to pierce through the loneliness and pain. If, in this situation, I met another girl who was great i might develop a crush for emotional support reasons. That's one scenario.
If you're simply asking why you have a crush on someone else while in a good relationship:
because A. you're human and B. you aren't entirely fulfilled in your relationship.
Talk to your partner.
>>16944384
Do I tell them I have a crush? It's stupid. I don't see this person and we only communicate through Facebook because they live on the other side of the country.
My girlfriend accidentally deleted a bunch of files on her phone and is currently freaking out about it, about to drop $50 for some program I'm pretty sure is a scam.
Does anyone know of any good, preferably free, data recovery software for android phones?
Please and thank you.
>>16944227
Aren't phones flash memory and thus unrecoverable?
I'd go to
>>>/g/
>>16944227
Bumping for OP.
Idk of any data recovery software for android phones, but the information most certainly should be recoverable. I'm pretty sure (I'm probably completely wrong) whatever data is deleted just gets marked as re-writable and only appears to be removed. As new data comes in it may begin to overwrite deleted data.
>>16944253
That seems to be the case, as long as you don't restart or update or install or do anything you can sometimes get it back. There are lots of services that claim to be able to recover them, for a pretty hefty fee.
Girls
if guy friend of yours came and told you about a panic attack he had. Would you think any less of him?
I've been doing really shitty lately, and I trust one of my female friends a lot. And I want to talk to her about it. But I'm worried she'll think less of me because with me being a guy, it would seem weak.
>>16944208
If she's a friend she'll listen to you and do what she can to help. This has nothing to do with gender.
>>16944208
Not a girl, but dude, if she thinks any less of you because of that, that's a pretty shit fucking friend.
>>16944208
Cool if she's a friend.
Not cool if you're romantically interested in her (unless you're already partners)
I'm in an LDR with a girl. It sucks, so bad.
I'm giving myself anxiety almost every night that she's fucking some other dude. And she probably is.
Problem is I'm scared that she is my last chance or something. I actually thought she was special, or something different. Naive for sure.
How can I end this and get over it? I'm not exactly killing it with the ladies in the city I moved to a year and a half ago. Girl wants me to come visit her in Pittsburgh, but I feel like it's a bad idea to waste the money and get myself further into this situation.
How can I bail and remain emotionally intact on my end? I'm scared I'm going to be making a huge mistake.
>>16944176
You can decide your own reaction, man.
If you don't want to be with her, make the decision. It'll hurt, but you'll recover if you want to.
You can't get out of this with no damage, that's unrealistic.
You don't own your girl's body. get over that now.
How old are you?
>>16944181
too old to be doing something foolish like this.
I know I'm being manipulative and probably terrible. I just have to figure out a way out.
>>16944180
You're right. I think the sooner I remove myself the better. I'm living a fairy tale and it's totally unfair to both of us.
I live with a family who hates me based on my past and their own neurosis. I can't move out until I graduate and that's some time in the future. If I take time off I get kicked out. The negativity is killing me and I physically feel like shit. Should I just walk out?
>>16944162
Stop acting like a shithead, they don't hate you for no reason.
>>16944202
Thank you
get people to try and physically abuse you. record it, and then file a restraining order on the people in the household. They won't be able to come back for two years.
