Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1198. page
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hey /adv/ , my wife's son just turned 16 and has started acting up a lot. he's been getting into emo and goth culture, what should I do?
>>16942203
Ask yourself why he feels the need to rebel
smash his xbox
/pol/ needs to fuck off back to its containment board.
How do I take myself more seriously while I'm at community college?
Some background: I finished high school in the top 20% of my class (3.7 GPA), I made Eagle in the Boy Scouts, scored 30 on the ACT, and kept up with my hobbies on the side (rock climbing and running mostly).
I started feeling really insecure about college (I chose a state school FAR out of state) just because of a lot of "crash and burn" stories, and sure enough that became a self fulfilling prophecy and after 2.5 years at that school I realized I was wasting too much time, money and reputation because I was failing class after class after class. In that period, there were a few times where I hit it out of the park, but for the most part I was horribly depressed and lonely to the point where I couldn't bother attending class or doing homework.
In December I moved back in with my parents and started community college, and I've been doing MUCH better. I'm probably making straight As this semester and I have a part time gig set up at a really great employer starting soon. I'm also not depressed anymore, without any prozac or therapy.
However, I still have this huge block from taking myself seriously. Some day I'd like to be a researcher (probably a planetary scientist, but I'm not married to any single idea), and I just have this notion of "scientists and smart people don't flunk out of school or attend community colleges."
How the hell do I stop myself from thinking like that?
>community college
>taking it seriously
It's like high school 2.0, Anon. At some point you're going to have to be able to succeed at a big boy school.
>>16942177
I'm fully aware.
That's kinda the problem, I feel trapped here and I don't want to turn into one of those directionless community college people. I also have this fear that by being there I've reduced myself to doing nothing better than some dead end engineering job designing air conditioning units for the rest of my life just because of some bad choices I made in my late teens/early twenties.
>>16942194
Quit crying like a bitch, OP.
Literally all you need to do is do well in CC and then transfer to a big boy school and do well there also. It's not rocket science.
So a few months ago, I met a girl. We became pretty close. She originally lied about her age towards me. Claimed she was sixteen, then fifteen, then admitted to being fourteen with an upcoming birthday. As corny as it sounds, I really fell for this girl. I'm nineteen. I felt pretty odd about the age gap, but I tried to ignore it as long as I was responsible. After a while, our relationship became pretty physical which lead to her asking me to take her virginity. I was a little eerie about it because of our age. I kept pushing it off every time we saw each other, which only lead to her implying "she has needs and will do what she has to do". Within a while, we had sex, and I felt so scared. I just laid there and held her until she fell asleep and I contemplated what just happened. With that, I told her we should stay away form each other until she was of age. I didn't mind waiting a few years, and she agreed that it would be best to avoid trouble. We had some type of phone relationship during that time. She cheated on me with some guy in his twenties. I guess she must have sneaked out and she told me she had sex at the park by her house. The only reason I found out was because he came inside her, so when she missed her period, she freaked out and spilled the beans to me. She's not pregnant.At one point, her parents caught her sneaking out and told them about me, the other guy, and well, everything. She told me I have nothing to worry about and that her parent's said they wouldn't press any charges. But, to be honest, I can't really trust her after everything and I'm terrified of going to jail over this. I currently have no contact with her, deleting every account on social media and our conversations, while changing my phone number. I'm terrified her parent's might take legal action. I have moved on from our relationship. I'm still bummed about her cheating, but I think we have bigger issues here.
>>16942161
That's real fuckin' neato, kid.
>>16942161
isn't this copy pasta, i forgot about this one.
>>16942161
This why you dont get involved with minors
>pic related
Hi /adv/ I could really use some help.
So long story short every single day I feel more and more angry about what my best friend did to me. Essentially she got a boyfriend and then for a year she ignored, manipulated, and bailed on me. I made it clear during this time how unhappy I was with how she was treating me but obviously it didn't help. Come last January and she asked me to take a class with her, I say sure and take it, first day she won't talk to me at all and leaves without saying a word. I then get an email saying she doesn't feel like she can provide the sort of friendship I want, which I made clear was just talk to me a bit and hang out once a month. But she insisted she had to use all of her social energy on her relationship. Anyway that's the gist, but trust me when I say she was super fucked up for a year.
At first I just was sad, but over the past few months my feeling that I've been betrayed has become worse and worse and I've gotten angrier and angrier. This morning I woke up and it was the first thing to my mind, the things she did and how I wish her dead for it. I just want to tear her head off I feel so angry. I would never do anything physical because I'm not 5 but how can I let go of this deep deep resentment and how do I stop it from completely consuming my life?
Oh and thanks for any and all replys. Hope you guys have good weeks.
>>16942155
>I feel more and more angry
okay
>what my best friend did to me
okay
>Essentially she got a boyfriend
wait
>Essentially she
>she
>best friend
you have a good reason to be angry
you're angry at yourself for being deceived for so long
females cant be good friends m8
take it as a lesson - I can't understand what's taking you so long to move on
Stop crying like a bitch and move on with your life.
>Have an asian gf for 5 years
>met her while studying abroad
>her parents run a factory in colombia
>realize only way to be with her is to actually follow her to colombia after im done with college
>go there
>live with her family
>things get out of control
>first time we are subject to work stress, responsibilities, etc
>have to see her every day, all day
>things strt getting out of control
>massive fight breaks out
>family witnesses it
>pretty much asked to leave by her and her sister
>father bro understands its our problem
>she travels back to asian country for chinese new year
>hope everything is all right when she comes back
>its worse
>i panic
>i beg for things to be different, mess up by humiliating myself
>cry
>she is more stubborn every day
>i pressure her every day
>eventually breaks up with me, says we are done for good
>ask her to give me a month off work to get over her and the situation.
>she cries and begs me not to forget her so quickly
>feel better about myself, even tho she didnt ask me to stay or get back together
>on the day i travelled got in a fight by text messaging
>arrived home to one last message by her
>reply back but she hasn't replied
>it's been 3 weeks of no contact
I really don't want to lose her, I got into the NC rule may counselors talk about, currently day 17th. But she hasn't reached out, except by a profile picture she put in whatsapp which I assume was directed at me.
I believe there is one guy chasing her, which makes me even more inscure.
I'm home now, but will have to see her in about 3 weeks, because we work together. What to expect, what to do, any advice appreciated.
I'm desperately trying to find solace.
bumping
I've read every article on gf recovery, get ex back etc
i don't want to look desperate or needy, but i can't stop beating myself up for not being able to control my emotions.
Are there any self help books or articles any of you can recommend?
Dude, it is over. You are being pathetic. Acknowledge this, talk about it with wise ppl you know irl or maybe even a therapist. You are not the first and also not the last to be in this situation but man up, accept the reality and leave her alone. Move on.
>>16942142
Except for the travel to Colombia, yours is a simple story. You fell for a girl, but a lot of time spent with her showed that the two of you were not as compatible as you hoped.
Exactly the same thing could have happened with a girl from your home town or school. And you would be unhappy that it didn't work out, but on one level grateful that you discovered that quickly and not after years of marriage.
The same is true here. There is nothing there to recapture. The romance is over. Regret it, learn not to be so impetuous, and move on.
Okay, so I'm a mediocre first year comp sci student and a poorfag.
I'm not smart enough to make money on my own, but what's some good ways to make money online without selling shit? Like, just part-time level cash. I want to make it known that I'm not educated enough to do programming/software development work.
pic unrelated
Fiverr.
>>16942103
postloop is great (although the pay isn't) I make about $7-8/day for about 90 minutes work. You get about $0.08-$0.11 per post depdning on the forum. Cashout is $5, and is always paid within 24 hours
I'd appreciate if you used ref link, but I'll include no-ref too
http://www.postloop.com/invite/Hedonologist
http://www.postloop.com
Oh so you want to do easy work and you dont think 3 billion ppl are looking for this kind of job too? All of my keks. Get a job lolol
This probably sounds like a retarded question, but what are some things I can do to tell if a girl likes me?
There's a girl at work that I've been getting some vibes off but it's hard to tell if she's just flirty and awkward with everyone and I don't want to make any moves until I'm more sure about her so I don't make work awkward. So what are some tests I can do to get a better feeling? I've done little things like sitting near her when she's standing to see if she sits near me, which she usually does almost immediately, but I'm not going to base what I think of her off this so what are some other things I can do?
Ask her out. Then when you're out together, flirt with her. If she flirts back then she likes you.
>>16942100
I'm in more of an observational state right now. I do plan on asking her out but I don't know what many of her interests are first so I don't want to ask her out then get stuck at "what do you want to do?" and in the meantime I want to get a better feel for her
Get your cock out. If she starts sucking it your in, if she screams and runs away there's a good chance she's not in to you.
Let me know how you get on.
Do you guy ever wonder if you are annoying or boring around your friends/peers?
I am constantly self conscious of that.
I used to worry about it constantly in high school since I had no activities besides gaming and school. As time went on I realized it's not something my friends even think about, unless you're calling them like 5+ times in a row every day.
>>16942083
Most people are not in the charity business. If you were seriously boring or annoying they wouldn't spend any time with you. If they do spend time with you they must find your company enjoyable.
It really is that simple.
Not at all. People love having me around, and often seek me out to partake in my knowledge.
Hey /adv/ what is a good job for somebody who wants to move around and is good in computers. I have no idea where I'm going in life and I'm finishing high school in 2 months.
Full-stack software developer
You can't really just put "good with computers" on a resume. I'd advise going to school first and finding a field you're interested in.
>>16942078
Travelling computer guy
>tfw all my friends smoke weed
>Tfw they all have a fun time and even get easy pussy
>tfw i feel left out
Should I just go for it?
>>16942061
seems like all you have to do is smoke weed for a fun time and get easy pussy.
You should explore your curiosity if you've never tried it before. However I promise you right now that you're still going to not have a fun time and not get easy pussy. You know those people who act like their entire social lives are going to change when they get iPhones? That's exactly what you sound like. You're misattributing who your friends are to what their habits are. Don't do that.
Get comfortable around it, anyway. I don't see the problem, but I am a huge degenerate weed smoker. If you just wave it off and say it makes you uncomfortable and paranoid, no one will care.
so im looking at my local community colleges course for network administrator and am wondering if any of you guys are in networking and would be able to tell me (ill list details if i get a reply) if this would be able to land me a entry level job, btw im super excited and dedicated when it comes to IT so dont give me none of the "you gotta apply yourself" bullshit
That sounds like a bullshit degree. Major in CS and transfer out to get a bachelor's.
Go CS or straight IT for degree names. Netadmin sounds too constricting.
Look into CIS if you dont like math or programming.
>>16942087
>netadmin sounds too constricting
>literally every fucking place ever that uses computers requires net admins
I have a boyfriend and the end of the month is our one year. I love him, but the only problem is that I am starting to feel a little more then friendly love towards my best friend. Whenever I get near him I get sexual frustrated like ever time I am near them, is this normal? Should I just try to kill my feelings for him away?
>>16942054
>I don't know what to do with my life
end it, remember, you need to be above the 7th floor to guarantee death when you jump
I will remember that when I completely die on the inside.
>>16942054
If it was the other way around and your bf, who you love, had feelings for a close female friend - would you want him to leave you for her or stop talking to her altogether? Be honest.
Hey, /adv/, just want your opinion on something. So I have a very low libido, apparently. Or at least, one that needs a lot of work to turn on. This situation is partially what ties into my not really having a sex life with my bf. See, I'm not sexually attracted to him. Like, at all. He is really attracted to me, though.
I have tried helping him out in various sexual situations--although I have put my vagina and ass off limits, I try to give him oral, hj's ect.. However, a lot of them haven't resulted in him cumming or anything like that. He, most of the time, ends up going soft. And I'm pretty much disinterested in him trying to do anything sexual with me. I really like the kisses and stuff like that, but thinking about him putting his mouth near my vagina is not appealing. He's tried using his fingers but literally every time he's done it wrong--no matter how much I've tried to help him in that regard. That's getting kind of frustrating.
Anyway, regarding the sex stuff...he says that it's because he feels his body's waiting for piv sex first. Eventually, I offered to give it to him (We're both virgins, and I was going to wait until marriage but this issue has been going on for a while) once I graduate college in less than 2 months, but I keep getting cold feet about the whole thing. I worry about the possibility of pregnancy (I don't take birth control, for obvious reasons) and if I could support a kid--I don't want to do an abortion. My bf is kind of between jobs atm, but he's promised me that if anything happens he'd do his best to support me.
I kind of want to hear what /adv/ has to say about this. You guys have helped me out a lot. Should I stick to my moral principles and wait? Or should I give it up? Or should just I do my best to get better at oral/hand sex for him?
I really care about him, he's been like a best friend to me. I just want him to be happy.
Why do you have such a low interest?
>>16942031
Generally, I'm not all that sexually attracted to anyone. Some movies like Magic Mike have had an effect, and I do seem to get "the tingles" a bit when I look at nude women, but I've never "gushed" or anything like that over people in real life. Never wanted to ride the cock carousel, as /r9k/ would say, which definitely helped with my personal abstinence pledge.
But related to him, a good part of it is because of his appearance, I think. He's always been overweight (short too, but as I'm 5'2 it has never bothered me). He doesn't look like he takes care of himself all that much, I guess?
>>16942023
>See, I'm not sexually attracted to him. Like, at all.
That's weird, you know that right?
It suggests to me that you don't really see him as boyfriend material. When I read your story it sounds like you more see him as a cute needy kid than as husband material.
Are you older than him?
>/adv/ considers the /r9k/ stereotype to be a universal truth.
>all the people who suck at romantic and sexual relationships are exactly like the stereotype
How can you develop a healthy mindset if you believe this?
>>16942007
Adv is the polar opposite of /r9k/
Adv believes in dating single mothers and bringing up other men's children.
>>16942007
>>/adv/ considers the /r9k/ stereotype to be a universal truth.
Not quite. The /r9k/ stereotype only becomes universally true once the redpillers get their claws into a person and bitterness sets in.
People who suck at relationships, but have not yet become embittered, are a diverse lot. Their problems are still self-inflicted; that much IS universal. But there are lots of different problems one might have, and just as many ways to fix them.
But once bitterness sets in, the way they got there ceases to matter. The bitterness very quickly overpowers all other factors, and that's thr point when the stereotype becomes a universal truth. You cannot fix the problems of an bittered person without first fixing the bitterness, which is why we focus on that.
>How can you develop a healthy mindset if you believe this?
This IS the healthy mindset.
>>16942027
>Adv believes in dating single mothers and bringing up other men's children.
/adv/ sees nothing wrong with doing this, but it's quite a logical leap from seeing nothing wrong with the idea to "believing in it". To be the polar opposite of /r9k/ in this regard, we would have to actively encourage it. We do not, though we do not discourage it either. It's just another dating pool.
Crossthread from /fit/ for more application-based advice
My local town is looking for volunteer firefighters, and this is something I very much want to do. I'm 6'5 and large, I want to give back to my community and be of service to others. To do what Woods said, to be willing to do what others cannot.
I have a good mindset for this position. I approach things very tactically and with energy directed where it's needed- a real almost polarized 'N' type- and many people confirm that I'm one of the best drivers anyone's ever seen at 18, good ability at knowing the situation around me and seeing what could go wrong. (From flight sims for the past 11 years.)
I'm very good at supporting others so that they can achieve their own assignments faster, and building everyone else up for better performance. And I'm anal about communication, good at it.
(I'm pretty sure I can get a reference from my old Sup, who I'm on very good terms with, as to these things. He was ex-military, and I'm probably close to military in my mindset.)
What kind of fitness requirements do you think they will require for me to be available, and how hard would it be to get there? I'm wanting to start training very soon. I'm strongfat right now but I do a lot of physical work for a living, 5 days a week, 4.5 to 5 hours a day. Cardiowise, I think I'm probably close.
Thanks.
Pic not related
>>16942004
Well in my country the basic fire fighter test is 2km run pull ups and push ups .
>>16942004
pretty much, could you pick up someone with equal or more body weight than you?
but i would do a little research...
>>16942353
If I had to.
I have done research but never found specifics, that's why I'm here.
>>16942081
>2km run pull ups and push ups.
You don't sound very coherent.
From this it
>implies
that the requirements are that you be able to do a pull up and a push up.
This is murica, I don't think it's that bad. I've heard from /fit/ there are volunteers who look like walking heart attacks already, the dept. was desparate enough to put out a big banner for recruitment.
