Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1204. page
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I think my mom is trying to extort me for money.
Greentext to shorten it:
>leave home to join military about a year ago
>everything going good
>mom talks to me every now and again, but always asks for money every time she talks to me
>gave her some at first, but now I'm starting to say no because I can't keep giving her money
>she flips out and threatens that she's gonna sell my car unless I give her money
>"wtf? no"
>I suggest that if she has problems with getting by with what she makes, then me feeding money into the problem isn't going to fix it
>suggest a budget, because I know she spends a lot of her money on cigarettes and soda
>she flips out
>says shit like "well dont bother paying for my funeral when I die"
>I say okay and hang up
>later leaves a message crying and trying to guilt me about how she bought me "that pikachu plushie" with her last dollar when I was an 8 y/o
Just some background, she wanted the money to reserve a parking space at some camp she was going to go to. Am I the asshole here? Because I don't feel like she is entitled to my money every time she asks, despite raising me. How do I go about this?
The sad thing about Moms is they're pretty crazy.
Mine coasted barely on $1,200/month with me growing up, when I moved out making almost triple what she made in my 18 years under her roof, along came the "I starved myself some days just so you can eat! I bought you that videogame with my only savings!"
That doesnt mean you owe her for anything.
>>16940549
Bruh shes ur mom. Its ur duty to help her. Maybe talk to her about finances but dont straight up refuse
>>16940549
She is your mother. She gave you life. Yes you owe here. I plan on bringing my parents into my house instead of letting them live in a nursing home. It's a natural reaction for parents to do what your mom is doing when their children are successful, but at first just appease her and she will calm down. I think she seeks reassurance that you care about her still through the money. May sound crazy but it's actually true that many mothers do this. And even if she is in it just for the money, she made sure from the time that you were a newborn baby that she fed you, changed diapers, clothed you and kept you safe. Bought you stuff your whole 18 years. You should be thankful. So yes I think you should give her some money when she asks
So i got this cousin who wants me to desperately go with him to this license acquisition training and i have no idea what to study for, i have asked him before hand many times what i should study for or if there was anything to look out for before even considering applying to such a place for it but he has not been open with me as to what kind of topics would be covered in the one week course, i would like to know a story or two from you anons on how your security license went in north america and if it really was like he said "easy". I would really appreciate some insight as to what the process of obtaining this license is and what you did during the training from taking notes to physical activities.
I am a Fat mexican guy 18 years of age and am 5"11 so yeah not that tall at all but he is quite shorter than me and he already finished police foundations so i can understand how it might be easier for him to acquire this license but for me who knows very little about the criminal code other than a few sections i have my doubts. Thanks for your help in advance. ask any questions and i will answer.
Additional information
I live in Toronto, I am unemployed and my career path does require me to gain experience about security before i can even be considered to join the police force. although i was planning on doing this eventually i also would have studied for it beforehand but now i am tasked with going at it head first without anything to arm myself with.
Bumping shamefully.
I cant bump forever, so here's hoping.
My main issue is waking up tomorrow in the morning around 6 and realizing i am about to go to something i had no intention of going to and completely messing it all up, along with CAD $290
I am still hoping for some help from any of you even if you hadn't had the experience i would like to hear some ways around this that i can come out on top of it. I feel like i really do need your advice.
I don't want to write another "I'm so depressed" post, but it's not going too well. Everything is shit. It's been that way for a long time.
I don't know what to do and I'm confused and tired. I'm stuck in a negative thought spiral and I have no idea how to break out of my general confusion and negativity. I have access to Nembutal and I'm thinking about taking my life.
It would be easy and painless.
My therapist said that checking myself into a mental hospital might be a good idea. I don't know. Should I do it? I don't have many options left at the moment.
>>16940515
lol who currs???!
Hey if you're serious about suicide then mental hospital can't hurt. It doesn't get much worse than being dead.
From the sounds of things there probably isn't much that can be said that you haven't heard already. So I guess the only thing I can tell you in my state of unknowing is to keep trying to change things until something works.
>>16940515
I'd of course recommend going into the mental hospital, but other than that I say that you should try something different in your life. Try talking to new people or just do something drastically different. If you're stuck in a rut then you not going to get out unless you change something. Now you may be an awkward fuck but all it takes to meet new people and do new things is either apathy or false confidence. My hope is that by changing your life in some way your break out of the "negative thought spiral"
P.S. don't kill yourself
how do i tell the girl im fucking that her snatch stinks without upsetting her?
>pic related it's her in middle
"Do you smell that?"
>>16940513
Gross, dude. Just tell her. Wtf.
>>16940513
>going back for seconds
How do I stop getting attached easily and valuing girls so highly when I get attached? I end up checking my phone constantly, and become clingy. I check their twitter to see if they're posting while ignoring me and I overthink everything. When I don't get instant replies I start to think maybe she doesn't like me anymore.
I wish I could just not care as much, but I can't help it. People say to just get a hobby and get into that, but I have a good number of them, and I can't concentrate on any of them because I end up thinking about this girl. This is clearly bad for me but I can't fix it.
>>16940493
Finding other shit to do and talking to someone about it
>>16940493
I'm literally the exact same way man. I just listen to songs I find to be romantic while thinking about her. Or at least I used to when I loved her. Don't worry, love never lasts haha
>>16940524
Yeah I'm going to go talk to someone about my anxiety once I get it set up.
>>16940537
It's more like, I know she is bad for me, and she is clearly the same way with other guys as she is with me, but I can't let her go.
Maybe I should just confess and get rejected and end this..
I'm angry about a past relationship. It isn't my first break up, though it was my first serious relationship. Other times me and girls have parted ways, I've been sad or remorseful, but about this instance, I've been angry and resentful for upcoming on six months now. I spend time at least once a day thinking about how angry I am. How do I stop myself from being so angry? I don't really want to be - I just want to understand that she's a really bad person and move on.
self-bump
>>16940486
Anon let me tell you a little story. I have been and still am in your shoes. It's been exactly one year. She was my best friend and I honestly wanted to marry her, but personally both of us weren't mature enough to be that kind of couple, and when my depression hit, and I slowly became this out of shape ED'd mess of a human being, you sometimes realize that both of you have issues and that your ex maybe wasn't good or as terrific as you thought.
Your angry because of the same reason I am still angry, and that's because she meant a fuck more than she should've. This is okay, and desu you have all the right to do so, but she will comeback if you were good enough.
You want my advice, don't go looking for the past girl you dated because it's something you'll never find. Don't be friends with her and learn that you yourself have to come to terms that each serious relationship you have sometimes will never work out. Just find a resolution in yourself and live vicariously through you. Women are so much second in your life than you can ever imagine.
>>16940540
I'm perfectly mentally fit still. She was very immature while I was mature enough, certainly. I'm angry that I put so much effort into her even though she was a loser and I have no interest in her coming back. She's cute and has cool interests, but she's a drain and a selfish brat.
I'm a neet. I want a job that doesn't require a college degree but pays $35,000+ so I can leave my parents and find an apartment to live in.
Any suggestions?
>>16940478
camwhore
better start losing weight tubby and getting on them estrogen injections
>>16940485
sorry I'm a fat white guy, no camwhoring for me
Anyone got any legit advice?
>>16940575
You could probably still stick stuff up your butt or find some weird niche shit to do.
Holy shit, my friend's kid has extreme emotional problems. She told him to do his homework and he started crying and yelling like he does about half the time he's told to do this. Shit kept escalating and now he's been screaming for about an hour and a half and acting as if his mom is going to kill him. All over some homework. I don't even think he knows why he's so upset.
I don't know what advice I'm here for either. Just kinda needed to vent. Not really sure there is anything I can do anyway since it's not my kid.
>>16940474
If only he had a father...
>>16940477
Yeah, I bet that would help. He lives on the other side of the country with his wife, though.
>>16940474
He gets away with it.
Who ever yells loudest wins. She will basically do his homework later.
Yo guys on /adv/! I normally stick to /b/ and /pol/ but I have a question I don't want a bullshit answer to. I am a male and I really want to know if I should trim, shave completely, or let it go wild down there.
Pic unrelated
>>16940449
A trim isn't bad. Don't be a bald freak. That's just my liberal feminist opinion though. Also shaving is really annoying and unpleasant.
It really depends on how you prefer it, anon.
Shaving bald can be tricky if you don't do it right, concerning razor bumps and post-shave itching. What I personally suggest (OPINION) is that you try it all out before you decide what is best for yourself. Try a month trimming, then a month balding, and so on, until you form your preference.
I've always found it very strange that the area right above your dick gets ingrown hairs extremely easily yet scrotal skin never does
Anyone ever secured [spoilers]marijauna[/spoilers] on yik yak
>>16940444
Are you that autist
Nice trips btw
That you can't just get a local hookup?
>>16940471
Im in puerto rico for spring break
Never done this before
Dont want to get jumped by spics
>>16940492
Nigga it's Puerto Rico not Tijuana
Does Zoloft make you lose interest in sex?
A woman I was having some casual encounters with gave me a text for the first time in a few weeks... and I felt so uninterested I didn't even reply. I feel so completely uninterested in sex now that I've started taking Zoloft. I can't even genuinely tell you if I am happier or not. I guess I'm not awfully depressed the way I was a while ago, but man... I kind of wish I was interested in sex again. I don't feel any desire to talk to other women either I just... don't think about it. Even looking at a gorgeous woman, I feel nothing. I feel like a eunuch or something, immune to womanish charms.
Anybody have similar experiences like this?
Is this a reason to stop taking medication? I haven't had sex in almost a month.
Seems like your lower brain isn't calling the shots anymore.
Antidepressants can kill your sex-drive yeah.
>>16940420
>Does Zoloft make you lose interest in sex?
Yes, it makes you lose interest in everything but food.
Is there anyone here who feels they are overall consistently happy?
I feel like I experience happy moments during about 5% of my waking life... rest of it is anxiety, boredom, sadness, regret... etc. I feel like feelings of happiness exist but are crowded out by everything else. I can love my life for a moment then want to kill myself in the next one.
I just wanna know if its possible to feel more happiness or if its normal to feel this way...
>>16940411
A couple years ago I was trapped in a relationship and I felt just about the same. I wanted to end my life. I felt like nothing would ever get better.
Today I feel free. I feel happy. I'm not surrounded by millions of friends. I find happiness in seeing little bits of hope everyday. Find something you like everyday, and remind yourself that if you were dead, you could never see that thing.
The world is fucked up, and you may feel fucked up too. But just know you aren't alone. Stick around to find out what happens. If you end it, you'll never find out.
That's something you'll regret, anon.
I hope this helps you. Just know you aren't alone, and that one day you WILL find more happiness. That 5% will turn into a big percent.
Just wait.
>>16940451
Thanks... theres just so much shit to sort out and its rough.
Yes I feel happy most of the time but it's also overwhelming to be in a constant state of joy...I'm exhausted by laughing/smiling too much. No kidding.
I must admit, first semester was a breeze but now i'm running into some struggles
>community college
>a lot of good professors
>I apply for 5 classes
>finding it really hard to juggle my time
>I really struggle in math and I can't get the tutoring from my teacher that I need because during those times I have another class that day
>the other days are my long days so I don't have time also.
>find myself slipping
>My algebra teacher is awesome she educates the class on current events and ties in some personal stories
>I feel bad for sucking at this class.
>I keep telling myself I must try harder but I keep running into excuses as to why I'm not working as hard in this class
>for one thing its blended. So most of the work is done outside, including the lessons
I have a feeling i'm really not going to do well by the end of this semester...I had considered dropping the class earlier in the semester but I feel that is too late now. I don't want to give up but i'm losing my will to continue kind of.
Does anyone else find themselves in this kind of situation? I'm trying to make more of an effort here but I still struggle...should I drop the class before I fail the finals or continue moving forward?
>>16940400
I've been there, bud.
If it's too late, then you just gotta work the hardest you can. Take the grades like man, even if you're a lady.
I can't say much else, just try to take it one day at a time and do your best. The worst that could happen is you may have to retake a class.
Next time go for maybe 4 classes instead of 5, especially if you're in subjects that are super difficult.
what works for me is too use 2-3 different medias.
check out some new books at the library, use khan academy or youtube anything to get a second and third perspective on the material.
there is so much reference material, lectures, and books out there on any sort of topic it's not even funny.
also, be honest with yourself are you really studying?
>>16940440
>>16940443
thanks for providing me a little bit of closure anon. I know the most I can do is basically keep trying.
>Next time go for maybe 4 classes instead of 5, especially if you're in subjects that are super difficult.
i'm definitely considering this for next year since I don't have to worry about the scholarship that I was applying during first semester. The deal was if I get high grades in 5 classes then I would be awarded the scholarship.
Seeing that I now acquired that during first semester, I won't have to worry about this next year unless I choose to apply again.
In two months I'm moving to a new city with my job.
Aside from work I don't socialize. Zero friends and that's not an exaggeration.
Someone else's post got me thinking. You know, this is kind of an opportunity.
See I'm so shy and fucked up I can barely talk to people in public. Like even asking where something is in the grocery store I start to stutter. Can't make eye contact with waitresses. That kind of thing.
But if I was to force myself to start socializing. Just making small talk, have a casual conversation with a girl in a coffee shop and leave it at that. Don't bother getting her number or anything, just being able to fucking TALK. Same goes for other guys too.
If I freak out ti doesn't matter because in no time I'll be leaving with no reason to ever come back, so I won't ever see these people if I'm ashamed of myself.
So my question is do you have words of wisdom for just striking up conversations, get a little bit of acceptance and stop hating myself so much. I'm not expecting to go from hermit to player in eight weeks. I'm not expecting a new best friend or a one night stand... I just want to practice talking to humans like humans.
>Zero friends and that's not an exaggeration.
woooww really? no friends! must be hell being you
>I just want to practice talking to humans like humans.
honestly this is actually the best way to get laid, but I feel you dude.
getting out of your comfort zone is always a good idea to prompt change in yourself.
The best way to strike up a conversation with a random stranger is simply to comment on some sort of mutual experience, some sort of commonality. If you're waiting for the bus, you commiserate about waiting for the bus. If you're getting coffee you comment about needing some caffeine. If the store you're at has some awful muzak blaring in the background you ask the cashier how they can stand it. "How are you doing?" is the most basic of basics.
There's an art to it; you have to look at their body language and openness and can't just expect everyone to want to have a conversation with a stranger (and don't take a bad reaction personally).
also, try meetup.com
>>16940438
>meetup.com
Thanks
I want to text my ex SO badly. We broke up a little over 2 months ago. He went no-contact on me, never responded to any of my messages (left quite a few over the course of a month. Ugh.). A week ago he saw me out with a guy at a bar, and according to our mutual friend he was "bothered by it but knew it was to be expected." But then again he could have lied.
It would be too long to post the scenario
Has it been long enough? Should I wait another month? Any of you have stories of things working out after a break up? PLS
You should forget him and move on
In short, he broke up with out of anger. Wasn't the first time we did this, but since the previous times he would get back to me, I figured it would happen again... but I got a little desperado there with how many messages I sent.
>>16940370
I've been trying. I really have. Been hitting up old friends, current friends, trying to meet new friends. I've gone on a date, and then met another guy recently but they were both just looking for a fling/fuck or whatever because I found out one had a gf and the other was a traveler. The friends I have are all in a bad place in their life, or use me, or boring, or don't like the things I do and everything seems so bland and sad and pointless.
