Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1185. page
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A friend and me discussed bj's and found some rather hillarious thoughts that probably crossed most girls minds when getting down to business. Now i wondered what guys think when being "down there".
Things we came up with:
>what if he cums directly down my throat and i start coughing like a maniac?
>i need more spit. How the hell do i produce more spit?
>oops, that was a little rough, sorry honey
>yes, we got moans people. I'm a bj godess
>is he bored?
>if i had a cock i would play with it all day long
To be continued
>>16947949
Conversely, here's a question for girls:
I had an ex that would ALWAYS make me cum down her throat. Her explanation? It's just easier and I don't have to taste it. Now, I understand that not everyone probably has the ability to do that without gagging, but honestly...
>Why hold it in your mouth and run away to spit it out?
>Why not just swallow it?
>What's weird about swallowing it?
>Why not just spit right there?
My current gf doesn't like swallowing for some reason (and I have no idea why, I really don't get it) so she either just spits it back onto my dick, or spits it on her tits. By spit, I mean lets it dribble out of her mouth, down her chin. It's fucking hotter than shit and doesn't ruin the moment at all. Why don't all girls that feel the need not to swallow just do that?
femanon here
>>16947949
>sorry babe, that was my teeth
>maybe we should 69
>nah
>can't breathe, time for the handjob
I mediocre bjs (fucking gag reflex) but they're good enough for the bf, who seems to prefer hjs once it's lubed enough anyway.
>>16947987
That's actually kinda surprising to me, that she won't swallow it, but will keep it in her mouth long enough to let it drip. I don't really like the taste and try like your ex to make sure it's as far down as it can get so I don't have to taste it, lol.
>>16947949
Every man should taste his own semen once in his life, to know what he's asking girls to do.
After getting hsv2 I don't even try to date anyone anymore. I've become content just jerking off and my sex drive is less than it used to be.
Does this make me a beta cuck?
No, it just makes you one of about a million people on here who didn't bother to find out what "cuck" meant before using it in a sentence.
If you're content with not dating, why do you care whether you fit the category of a meme phrase coined by bitter virgins?
>>16947503
Lots of people have STD's and I can only assume it's going to increase given how kids these days fuck around.
Don't let it get you down. It's just a skin virus. I know people who have had HSV2 and are now married and have kids.
Just be open to any future partners and tell them before any intimacy.
You could also try those std-dating sites and find yourself a girl who also has HSV2.
I was falsely diagnosed by a GP with HPV (warts) many years ago. I got so fucking depressed and when I finally snapped myself out of it and went to seek treatment from a specialist she laughed and said it wasn't warts and my GP was wrong (was fordyce spots).
Don't fall into the depressed state I did. It's not worth it. Live life and be happy (and be fucking grateful you didn't catch something like HIV).
>>16947554
>>16947521
Thanks... I suppose it's not so bad. I've read that more people than one might think has it. I did tell one girl that wanted to fuck around and she was cool about it. We didn't end up doing anything but she thanked me for telling her. Was depressing until I found out she had a boyfriend anyway 0_0
It's official, I'm now the only virgin in my group of friends, I have two choices for spring break.
1. Fuck a butterface with a nice body, who I've heard is a dead fish in bed.
2. Try my luck with a possible lesbian that was interested in me a while ago, but now I dont think she is.
3. Don't lose my virginity this spring break and be ridiculed.
Any advice guys?
Pic related, the butterface. She has a pretty nice body underneath those clothes, and can be kind of cute looking with the right angle.
>>16947493
how fucking old are you lmao, you're definitely not mature enough to even be thinking about sex
>>16947493
Or you know, don't obsess over it?
I'll never understand the obsession people have with virginity.
I have a feeling that as a fat girl I'm not taken seriously. Like I'm a walking joke, or not a full person, not as legitimate.
Am I being paranoid?
No, fat women are the equivalent of manlets/homeless men/unemployed deadbeats. Plus you smell bad, and are likely to ruin the fun in most social situations. Fat girls are notorious cockblocks
How fat
>>16947429
You're taken less seriously because you're a girl. Good looking girls are not taken more seriously, they're just paid attention to more. In reality, ugly women are probably taken more seriously in general, fat or not, but a fit ugly woman will be taken more seriously than a fat ugly woman. That's much more close to the difference between how a fat guy vs. fit guy is regarded.
Complicated maybe, but that's how I see it play out IRL.
I got conned by an angry neighbor into buying his chewing tobacco spit thinking it was an herbal elixer. I am not trolling. This is not a joke. I'm humiliated and need advice before I go to a doctor and have to explain myself.
I moved into a house in the country as part of a move for my job. My neighbor wanted to buy this house but I outbid him for it. I didn't realize he was upset with me since I didn't even know I was bidding against him.
The first time we met, he asked what I was planting in my garden and I explained that I grew herbs for cooking and tea and herbal remedies. He explained that in his mother made an herbal elixer and he's never gotten sick since taking it and asked me if I wanted to try - he handed me a soda bottle with a brown liquid in it. Told me it tastes bad and to take a sip, swallow it, but don't chase it.
I didn't realize it was chewing tobacco spit. He meant to insult me but ran with it when he realized I didn't know what it was. I almost vomited but I've taken other harsh things like oil of oregano and expect herbal things to sometimes taste bad.
He claimed the recipe a family secret but offered to sell it to me. I've been drinking it every day for almost two years. A friend found out about it (it's a small town) and tipped me off.
Does drinking it cause cancer? Do I just stop or do I go see a doctor? If drinking it isn't as dangerous as chewing, I'll just quit. I can't imagine having to explain this to my doctor.
>>16947422
>I've been drinking it every day for almost two years
I cannot stop laughing at this whole situation
Did you not realize it wasn't helping you??? In two years? I'd be shocked if it wasn't making you sicker. An "herbal elixir" to cure what problem? Alternative medicine can be fine, but do you not do ANY research before you just start putting shit into your body on a daily basis?
I hope you don't have any serious health problems or anything, but damn OP, you failed the idiot test harder than almost anyone I've ever seen
What.
10/10 masterbate
How does someone with no resume even get jobs, I ain't got experience for shit, any help on getting a job?
Do you have any skills? Education? What kind of job are you trying to get?
Usually you gotta go through someone that knows you. Work your network. Ask around
>>16947413
Apply for things you aren't qualified for yet but establish you have the drive and natural quick wit to pick things up on the fly. Alternatively do volunteer work for free in the field you want and get some experience you can cite.
>>16947413
Put in appplication for some entry level place. Retail, fast food, what the fuck ever.
Call the place. Visit it, let the managers/employees know you want to work for them. Make a good impression. I had to visit my first job's place three times before I got a hold of one of the managers but I got it. Then I quit when I found out how corrupt they were when they got me involved in it
There's a guy I know (I'll call him Ser) in my friendship circle who is very close friends with my best friend, they've known each other for nearly their whole lives whereas I've known the both of them only six months now. The thing with Ser though is that I get the pressing feeling that he really does not like me. My reasons?
Sent him a FB friend request when I first met him. He never added me back, if I go to his profile I cannot click on the Add Friend/Resend Request button.
We've never spoken a word to each other past the day I moved to their school. I'm deathly afraid of talking to him because I feel like I have no idea how he'll react.
He keeps looking at me, whenever we're in the same room or on a train with our friends, etc. A staring-sort of looking. As soon as I look back at him though, he looks away.
He's never once smiled at me. He smiles at everyone else.
In class, he doesn't sit next to me ever. If there's a spare seat next to me and another next to that, he'll sit in the one furthest from me.
I honestly don't know what I did to make him this apathic towards me. Any ideas why he's behaving this way? I'd like to be friends with him but I have no idea how to make him start being civil towards me.
>inb4 underage
I'm eighteen, going on nineteen in two months.
>>16947287
Some people are just irrationality hostile towards some people. Never underestimate someones level of pettiness and shallowness they have towards others. Don't mistake this for cynicism, just the way it is sometimes. Who knows, you might of done something to possibly piss him off or not unknowingly. Who cares, sounds like you did nothing wrong.
>>16947287
Eh, don't make a big deal out of it. You can't read his mind, and it doesn't sound like he's actually being mean or really even disrespectful in any way. Maybe he just doesn't wanna be your friend. Who knows why? Not everyone is gonna like you, I do my best to get along with everyone, but sometimes there's just a bad fit. Doesn't have to be a big deal if everyone can keep their cool and be civil.
If you're ever in a situation where he's actually talking to you and you feel like you can bring it up naturally, ask him if you did something to upset him. But don't force it.
>>16947304
I would like to be friends with him, or at least be neutral with him, I'm just sad that he's not friendly towards me because he seems like a really nice person when he's talking with people he does like.
I feel depressed.
I am getting my PhD from Harvard next year in History. I really worked hard to get into an ivy league school and I thought if I continued to work hard then I would one day have a decent job. I thought, Harvard is a top school, I am doing a good thing for my life.
Well - I just went to a conference and the keynote was all about how there are NO jobs anymore in history and anyone getting a PhD in it is screwed. Now, I am starting to feel like garbage about life.
Not many people in my department are getting jobs -- mostly Chinese students getting them.
I feel like a total failure and like I messed up my life. Would it be better to try to get an online degree in something practical once I graduate?
>>16947049
Everything in life is a competition, sure there might be more jobs in other fields, but it is also more competitive. There are more potential candidates to sort through, so employeers can choose to be picky and only take the best.
>>16947049
Do you have debt? If you graduate without debt you're fine.
What kind of job do you want? Plenty of opportunity in business, just maybe not degree related.
>>16947049
You should take a trip to whatever historical place you are most interested in. Also learn to write. Become a teacher maybe.
how do i get a gf /adv/?
>on train today
>one of the most attractive grills i've seen in a long time sits across from me
>shy and autistic
>would never talk to strangers in public anyways
>we were also in the quiet section of the train
w-what could i have said to her to get her number or ask her on a date?
i'm also a kissless virgin with no friends and there is nothing interesting about me apart from my unattractiveness.
inb4 joke replies
>>16946989
1) get over yourself and admit that you'll likely fuck it up before you 'git gud'
2) get two hobbies, one personal/introverted one social/extroverted
3) get the fuck off 4chan
>>16947001
what are some good social/extroverted hobbies? i've looked online for lists, but most of them are sports-related and i'm not good at sports (i workout, and i'm thin, but i can't throw a ball or anything like that)
>>16946989
Nothing you could've said would have gotten you the intended result that you wanted. You have to learn how to get people's interest, and you need to be interested in other people.
>There is nothing interesting about me
>My unnattractiveness
You are unconfident and shallow. You have the ability to change this howevwr, but in the meantime you must learn to accept it, while simultaneously making a conscious effort to change it.
When I flirt with someone, I get into it. They become the focus of my attention, or at least that's the impression that I give them. If someone appears confident, I point out the faults in them that most people are too scared to. Both of these work, but unfortunately you cannot fake this feeling.
Nothing you say will serve it's intended purpose if you do not feel confident in it, because you will choke. You are going to chome, because it is not a facade that you can put on for long.
In order to form relationships and get what you want from people, you must learn how to understand people. You must understand what the fellowship and why, or at least have the confidence and social experience to ask why.
This comes from experience.
>I'm a Kissless virgin with no friends
Good. I used to be exactly like you. I was also a compulsive liar that was diagnosed with depression and nearly drove myself completely insane at one point in my life.
What is it that you think prevents you from being able to relate to people and make friends?
Are people alone for a reason? Is it just happenstance that they have no friends or is it because they are unlikable?
A-asking for a friend... oh, wait...
>>16946884
Sometimes it's by choice, but people that are truly alone are lonely. Loneliness is horrible.
For a lot of people it's too easy to end up alone, mostly by the nature of their habits. And being alone can turn into a habit of loneliness all its own.
Some people like being alone, but humans crave social interaction. Times have changed, and now people do more lonely things, sometimes together on the internet.
I'm alone. I go out alone. I don't always leave alone. No, I am not constantly surrounded by people. Maybe if I started dealing weed I'd make friends... oh, wait... "friends."
I've posted before but didn't get any replies.
>19
>girls think I'm hot
>decent grades (also accepted in an ivy league uni)
>/fit/
>read good books
>president of student council
however ... really autistic with girls. For a long time I have had a huge approach anxiety (I don't care if I'm rejected, just scared to approach). And when I do approach or a girl or get a date, I feel like I'm not the "alpha" that I've always aspired to be.
All memes aside ... What can I do /pol/?
How do you know she thinks you're hot if you never approached her?
>>16946753
I have some girl friends that tell me that it's weird that I don't have a gf since I'm good looking
>>16946753
That's actually what most autists think. They think girls like them but they're single because they're shy.
Ever since I was 16 I dove right into going to orgies, gang-bangs, sex shows, fetish parties and the like.
All of these things got pretty sexually degenerate as I got older. Though I've never done anything illegal, I've toed the line and did shit like rape scenarios, slave auctions, age-play, fucking people while bestiality shit played on the t.v, getting someone high out their mind then fucking them, mind breaking, torture, etc.
Did it with women, men, all races, grandmas, married dads, pregnant women, etc. The only thing everyone seemed to have in common was that they were over 18 (even though half the time they pretended they were 12 or vice versa).
Long story short, I'm to the point where I'm fucking tired of all of it; all this fucked up fetish shit. I really want to get out before I do something like get a drug addiction or HIV. I'm also feeling morally fucked about a lot of the shit I've done.
I'm also at the point in life where I'm getting on track career wise and want to have a family of some sort one day. I've been doing the normal dating thing with mixed results.
I just can't get hard when it comes to the 2 people in bed set up, though. Even if I like the person and find them sexy, I get bored halfway through. I DON'T want to bring my past fucked up sex shit into the bedroom either.
I'm to the point where I'm considering chemical castration or something.
Any Anons got advice?
>>16946620
Well what you need is to settle the fuck down, live in a small town if possible work out, get a hobby and a good stable LTR.
How did you get into that op? Have you been sexually active in a "normal" way before? Are you male or female?
>>16946620
I suggest completely depriving yourself of all porn masturbation and anything sexual for a while to bring your sexual energy down to a normal level. At this point you've just become desensitized to normal sex
>26 year old female
>STEM career
>reasonably/average attractiveness
>awkward, loud, actually weird
>never had a proper boyfriend, but desperately want to find someone to settle with
>How do I initiate a relationship?
You don't.
Online Dating and Tinder.
try being less loud and obnoxious and more cute and welcoming
i think my boyfriend may be breaking up with me soon, what should I do?
im just getting a lot of signals and stuff, and hes really starting to push me away. it feels really bad because ive become really dependent on him, and its gonna be really hard... and not getting texts back, phone calls, having him cancel plans.. its just difficult to pretend like im OK when im far from it. idk how to cope? ive tried asking him whats wrong ad blah blah, hes alwys mad, he shuts me out and says hes fine but hes not.
I know its coming and I just don't know what to do, how to cope with it? im not gonna break up with him instead because that's not what I want. I just have to prepare for it....
its also totally possible that he might not, but I think its a 50/50 chance. I tried like calling him, txting him more etc, but that just kinda pushed him away more so now im just giving him space so he can decide what he wants. letting him text me first for the most part and make plans and whatever is what im gonna start doing I guess....
anyone been in similar position?
>>16946548
If it happens, I highly recommend NOT pushing your feelings away and repressing. You have to sit with those feelings, cry and do whatever you need to to do to over come it. Repressing will make it 100% worse in the long run.
>>16946548
The solution is simple fuck someone else he probably already is and just doesn't know how to get rid of you withough feeling guilty about it. This is basically how it went with my previous gf after I started cheating I realized she wasn't anything special but I didn't want to cause her pain just didn't want to be bothered by a clingy lump
>>16946559
I mean ive been crying all day, I didn't do my essays for college tat were due, or go to class. im a fucking mess...
>>16946567
I mean I don't want to think shit like that. its possible he could be though, because he kept saying weird stuff that made it seem like he was cheating. I realy don't know. IM not gonna think shit like that Im just gnna b okay andhe will dump me when he does, no need to freak myself out even more.....
So I was bored and feeling nostalgic the other day, and I randomly got the idea to search for the names of some of my old elementary school classmates on Google. Unsurprisingly enough, most of them seem to have Facebook accounts.
For what it's worth, I currently have 0 friends and basically get no social interaction, except on anonymous boards with random people. It would be nice to talk to a human being for once... maybe. So I'm wondering if I should contact one of my old classmates.
Thing is, I never really had friends in my elementary school years either, these people are just some acquaintances I talked with once in a while, but never hung out with. Moreover, I live about 2000 miles away from them now, so there's basically no way I could visit them or anything. When I moved away I just cut contact with them and it's been like 10 years since then, so I doubt they even remember me.
With that in mind.. Should I contact them? I mean, I could make a Facebook account and... well, I dunno what I would tell them. Or what we could talk about. So yeah, not sure what I'm looking for here but.. your thoughts on this, /adv/?
When in doubt, if you remember then they don't.
Move on with your life, they have already.
from elementary school? that's fucked up. how/why have you not met any people for the last decade?
>>16946413
That's what I was thinking too. But I think about my childhood a lot, and remember them sometimes too. Fucking nostalgia.
>>16946418
I've met people, but I didn't become friends or anything.
![5PVstMR[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/dsdrVCb.png "5PVstMR[1]")
