Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 73. page
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I finally just got all the financials I need and was able to sign up for school. I'll be staying at a university dorm and I know the name and email of my roommate already. My step dad said to email him asap to get to know him and discuss whose bringing what.
I'm very introverted and only have a few friends who I've had for a long time so I don't really know how to get this started.
What should I say in a situation like this?
Also any tips for a newcomer to dorm life and being away from home?
Just chill, don't get so nervous and be friendly with everyone.
Get interested in people's hobbies and join them, just relax.
I've been in your shoes. I was homeschooled and then moved to the forms, was pretty nervous about it going into it. My first roommate on the other hand was a high school quarterback. People tend to be really friendly in the dorms, so welcome your new dorm mates openly and be friendly. Don't ever close your door unless you're changing clothes, banging a girl, or sleeping. (I almost never studied in the dorms because it was too loud and inviting/distracting).
If you're invited to go to something, go. It's the fastest way to making friends, and people are usually very friendly towards the people who live with them.
"Hey, ______.
Looks like I'll be your roommate this year. You want to start talking about how we're going to set up the room? I'll be able to bring/I am definitely bringing ______ (utilities, tv, game system, etc.). Looking forward to hearing back from you.
Sincerely,
Anon"
How do I not hate myself and get rid of the emotional baggage for fucking up college and wasting $70k of my parents money the first time I tried it?
>>17353207
Get a job and pay them back.
>>17353207
Try to defy the fact that you fucked up collage, maybe is a good idea to find a job to pay your parents.
Do something to get your mind away from the situation, it's pretty normal.
>>17353207
i feel the same way. I'd love to just pay back my parents half a million dollars for raising me and be done with it. Except I'm still broke and lazy and a dissapointment
I do virtually nothing all day but read and lift weights. Yes, I work, but it's a security job where I also spend most of my time reading or listening to some podcast. My entire day plan is to push myself further, become a bit stronger and smarter, and desu I'm actually quite happy with the way I spend most of my time.
However, I feel like one of those existential crisis about having no purpose and no reason to live is about to hit me.
Because here's the thing: I like my job and it gives me all the comfort I need, which isn't much. I don't want to get richer or find a better job, so I have no ambition there. I'm not interested in getting married and having a family, so no romantic ambitions. I'm not very political, so I can't really put my energies on that either.
It occurred to me that I'm improving myself for fucking nothing. Most people seek self-improvement in order to become good enough for something, I'm doing it for the hell of it.
What do? I don't like the idea that I'm already living the life that I'll be living decades from now. I want some life goals, but I have none.
i made a similar thread and no one answered: >>17353151
i don't know what i'm going to do. i thought i could live with getting a job and making money so i don't get into trouble until i die, but it seems like i can't. it's like i have to have a kid or a lady or something
>>17353191
Find something you really like to do and just get autistic at improving yourself constantly.
????
PROFIT
>>17353235
i like maths and music but i'm bad at both. also i need make money from what i do, there isn't much money in either maths or music
Guys, I got a $200 gift card for Amazon.com but I live in an European country, so I've exclusively used Amazon.co.uk instead of US Amazon, since shipping costs from the US are fucking bullshit.
I want to exchange my US Amazon gift card for a UK Amazon one, but what's the best way to do this? Should I try to sell it on Ebay or wut?
Can't refund the gift card, don't have friends who'd want to buy it, no clue what to do.
Was gonna put it towards a PS4 but none of the sellers on US Amazon ship to my country for a reasonable price.
Wat do?
>>17353174
https://www.reddit.com/r/giftcardexchange
>>17353209
I had no idea this existed. Thanks anon!
After checking the subreddit, seems they don't allow trading Amazon gift cards nor stuff over $100. Rip
Any other suggestions?
i hate working. i don't know if its because i spend so many hours in my room, because it's too many hours (i'm working 9 hours a day from home), because i genuinely hate working, because i don't like programming, because i don't like this specific project, or what. i despise so much waking up knowing i have to do shit. and this is the first job i've had.. i don't know how i'm going to do this for 20 more years or whatever feeling like this. also i think i'm a nihilist so there's no end for me i'm just making money to not end up sucking dick for money not because i have a goal. i don't want kids. i'm not trying to get a lady
Your OP sums up the fears I currently have about what my life might turn into.
So ironically I would be asking you for advice.
>>17353652
i don't know be prepared for this to happen. load up on whiskey? i don't know how to proceed
You're not going to do it for 20 years. You're gonna cry and pussy out and fall off the wagon and fall into a deep spiral of misery and poverty in less than a decade while someone better than you takes your place and betters their life further with it. Just do the right thing and clear the room you're taking up for someone who can use it well.
Why is 4chan considered better than reddit? I've never really been there (other than from Google search when I had a question,) but it doesn't seem particularly cancerous. Honest question.
>>17353094
>Why is 4chan considered better than reddit?
It's not, they're both shitholes in their own ways and both communities think they're superior to the other.
>>17353094
4chan is a shithole.
Reddit contains shitholes but also contains some bleached holes and even some deep holes.
Not anonymous, too many rules, SJW's trying to get upvotes.
I was a one post and done out there, man.
Any methods for dealing with a masturbation addiction? This has been going on since I was 13, and ever since I was 18 years old, every time I do it I feel sullied, dirty and horrible. PLEASE HELP.
There's got to be a better way to do this than simply abstaining. You have no idea the mental anguish this causes me. PLEASE. HELP.
Delete and block any way you can jerk it after one last memory fap.
Then finally, abstain from using your imagination.
It'll be hard, but not impossible
Start riding a bike. It kills sex drive like nothing else.
I mountain bike a lot and I have near zero sex drive. I'm not impotent, just have no desire.
>>17353062
I stopped fapping for one day then gave in. Even waiting one day can make it feel super sensitive and make you blow huge loads. But I am 21 so I think fapping a lot is normal because this is when men are in their prime.
Question /adv/
>Be out on the weekend with friends
>see 10/10 qt3.14 coworker
>We were both drunk af
>gave her a hug
>we talked for a bit while she smiled constantly
>walked off to find friends
>see her again later on
>asked me if i wanted to get in with her and show everyone at work
>don't remember what i said next all i remember was smiling back at her
>had a little conversation until she repeatedly asked me again but this time it was just "want to get in with me?"
>I told her "it would be awkward between us because we work together" while i hugged her again (i think)
> we continued our unrelated conversation for a few more minutes
> i later on left with friends
> woke up next morning regretting it cause i've never gotten laid before but also thankful i didn't get in with her because i don't really believe in sleeping with drunk girls
What was that all about though? Do girls have the same thought sober or was that just a random thought she has while she was intoxicated?
Where were you?
People go to bars and clubs just to get laid. If you want to find more reserved girls that give men a run for their money; talk to them somewhere else.
You did the right thing. Don't sleep with drunk girls.
dumbass. being drunk brings the truth out and she wanted to fuck. you fucked up.
>>17353064
It was a club/bar met her outside when we had that sexual conversation so she was about to go home with her friends that time
So I've been thinking about killing myself a lot lately. I'm just not happy and can't seem to move forward in life. I've been denied the basics and wonder if it's even worth living. No family cares about me, I have no friends, I don't have any value to anyone really.My life's been nothing but constant issues with people. People trying to fight me, social outcasting, social isolation, abuse..I've been through hell and things just dont seem worth it..
Then PayPal me some money to help a friend with a tumor on her brain. At least TRY to do something for someone other than yourself
>>17353019
I'm living an empty life, and empty existence. I'm tired of tthe problems I have to deal with and their never normal problems. I'm losing hope, losing my will to live, the only two things I actually have left.
move away. if you don't have any money, then yeah, do it
So I'm going to try and make the OP as short as possible, if people actually do chime into help I'll answer any questions truthfully.
>3 year relationship
>don't have sex anymore
>resent her for it
>I have confidence/self esteem issues
>being sexually rejected makes it worse
>I'm depressed and angry everyday
>I no longer wish to be nice to her
>she tells me I just use her for sex
I tried having serious discussions about sexual rejection with her and showed her links showing what they do to a relationship, she was pretty defensive. I'm not a nympho, in all previous relationships I've had sex whenever I wanted it, usually once everyday, sometimes twice. I understand that some woman may not have a sex drive like mine, but she only will have sex with me once every 10-14 days, and that's usually after me bitching about the lack of it and she finally gives in.
We are both in our late 20s so this isn't an age thing, in my opinion this is our sexual prime and we should be banging like rabbits.
So! Opinions? Questions? Advice? Stories about how lack of sex ruined your relationship?
There's a lot more depth to the situation, if I let it all out at once everyone will just think she's a piece of shit and tell me to leave her, so I'll see if I gather some advisors before I open the flood gates.
>>17352995
Women don't want sex without love, and you don't want to give love without sex.
That seems to be your primary problem.
Does she live with you?
>>17353040
Correct!
To further elaborate:
She constantly wants affection, but cuddling and kissing in previous relationships always gave me a boner. In those relationships if that happened and I wanted sex I got it, no problem.
With her she never wants to, so I somewhat avoid the cuddly kissy stuff, which works against me. Because I don't show affection but am willing to have sex, she tells me I just use her for sex.
Now with that being said, I've been the bigger person more times then I can count. I'll cuddle her, watch dumb movies she knows I have no interest in. I'll take her out and do whatever she wants, eat and drink wherever she wants. Basically be the perfect gentlemen.
It still does nothing, and I see it as a slap in the face and withdraw back to my original ways since my attempt got me nowhere.
She on the other hand will never make the extra effort to try, she never comes on to me in anyway shape or form, never dirty talks me, never texts me kinky pictures while I'm at work. Sex with her is extremely robotic, it's almost like a doctors appointment.
Also, she uses sex and blowjobs as a bargaining tool and doesn't see anything wrong with not holding up her end of the deal. And becomes extremely angry when I get angry over it.
Example: can we go do this or that? I know you don't want to but I'd love to! I'll blow you when we get home and I'll wake you up to your dick in my mouth if you do! We get home and she goes to sleep she wakes up and doesn't touch me. I become bitter and quiet and she acts like she's confused as to why I would have any reason to be that way. When I tell her she lied and used sex as a manipulation tool she gets extemely defensive and acts like its no big deal.
I'm so confused. In the United States being under the poverty line means making under 24k for a household. My parents make around 80k together but were poorer than everyone else. We live in a broken down country house, literally the lowest standard of house possible, cars need repairing, we have no food, my parents can never go on vacation literally never, I don't have enough clothes to wear, as a kid I heard the word no more than a serial rapist.
How the fuck does it get this bad I don't think my parents have a drug habit or anything. My entire life we've always been poorer than all my peers. I still have Windows made of wood for fuck sake. The last time I had a job my parents literally took every single paycheck I got. Being this poor pretty much gave me a minority state of mind but I'm white so it doesn't work. I can't even have people over because I'm so embarrassed of my house.
Your parents most likely spend money on the stupidest shit. Food, cigarettes, alcohol all add up
>>17352987
either:
your parents are spending that 80k on luxuries that you dont know about
they are in crippling debt and havnt told you
they dont make 80k
>Being this poor pretty much gave me a minority state of mind but I'm white so it doesn't work
kek
>>17353028
I know they have crippling debt but Jesus we live in rags
So what's the deal with texting? I see people who are just texting on their phone all day every day. How did they get these people's numbers? What are they even talking about? How do people go about collecting 100+ phone numbers?
>100+ phone numbers
Are you shitting me? I have over 500 contacts and I'm one of the least sociable persons I know. It's mostly people you meet at work, school, on trips, when going out etc.
>What are they even talking about?
What they ate last night, the weather, that movie, that person, etc. Basically nothing.
>>17352996
>I'm one of the least sociable persons I know
You ain't.
>Tfw you only have 12 contacts.
I live in Perth West Aus
The drinking water has turned shit in the last two days, I've run about 150 lt through the tap to see if it clears up.
It's made my girlfriend sick. Problem is we're students and if we're going out to buy water we can't really afford to do so.
Are there any alternatives to where I could be getting my water ? (Apartments)
You can buy Arizona iced tea for cheaper than water
Buy a few home brand 1.5 litre water bottles and just refill them in some random tap, just make sure it's not bore water and make sure you don't get caught if your refilling them in some cunts yard
Can't you filter the water and then boil it?
Or just buy bottled water in bulk.
How can I increase my self confidence and self esteem?
I always get depressed about stuff over little things that happened to me.
Then I tend to speak or share it with someone and realize how stupid I'm being
>>17352914
Self-esteem and self-worth are things that you need to spend time on constructing by yourself.
It takes a lot of work (and I mean years of work) for any person to build their self-worth up to where they want to be.
The truth is that everyone has faced depression. I know everyone else on the surface looks like their lives are perfect and happy, and you aren't good enough to be in their lives, but it's all a facade. Everyone has an internal struggle that they don't reveal to the people around them.
You can start by forcibly pushing away negative thoughts. I know it sounds hard at first, but it gets easier the more you do it. When a negative thought enters your head, just imagine hitting ctrl+alt+del and going into your brain's task manager and ending the process. This simple little trick worked for me.
Also, don't worry about sounding stupid. You're simply having a rough patch in your life and feel that you need someone to talk to about it. You just need to pick the right person to talk to. And the MOST IMPORTANT PART is to know that this person does not hold your life together, you do.
>>17352926
Why do I have to work on all of that for years when others have it straight off birth?
Also, is this normal for me? I'm still, an.. uh.. teenager (no mods pls)
>>17352972
I suppose some people have it straight from birth, but I don't think that's the question you should be asking. Don't worry about what you don't have, but start building on what you already do have. Other people aren't really part of your self worth.
I've spent the past year looking for jobs, anything to earn money, but have found nothing. Just graduated high-school so no work experience, but I try to soldier on anyway. Had to leave college and live with my grandparents because I couldn't afford to keep going without going into debt.
Temp Agencies, Factories, Car Mechanics, Fast Food, supermarkets, and even damn internships across two different states won't even look at me. I have been to three interviews after hundreds of applications, and they never said anything again, even after I returned to see if they had a verdict.
Any advice on how to get any kind of Job, or should I just give up.
You're obviously doing something wrong if a fast food place won't hire you. Work on how you present yourself. Have good hygiene, wear appropriate clothes to the interviews, make sure you smile and are very enthusiastic and friendly. See what the starting pay rates are for whatever you're applying for and don't ask for more, you're going to have to gain work experience. Are you handicapped or have a criminal record? Just go to a restaurant and introduce yourself and ask if they're hiring. Shake hands and make eye contact. Idk what else to tell you.
>>17352907
Oh and don't tell any potential employers or coworkers that nobody will hire you! Tell them you couldn't work after high school because you were taking care of your grandparents or something.
>>17352919
I always make sure to shower, brush teeth, comb hair, and other necessary things especially before going in for a job.
When it comes to starting pay I either leave it blank or put the minimum wage for the state I'm applying in. Though looking at it now I come off as a bit desperate.
>>17352921
I don't mention that I'm applying anywhere else unless they ask, and I never mention that I've been out of work for so long.
