Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 72. page

Make a dubs get thread and give away steam games

>>17353600
The best advice of this month

seconded

>>17353564

Cheapest solution is to find the executor of the will (typically a family member) and confirm whether it is true that you have money coming to you. If so, and if there is no dispute about it, you deal with the executor to collect.

If there is some family dispute about whether you can/should get it, buy an hour or two of a probate lawyer's time for a consult. About 90% of sole practitioner lawyers will claim to "do probate," but they are dirty liars who are just trying to make an easy few hundred bucks. Look for someone who advertises that they do wills, trusts, and probate, rather than, say, a personal injury or family law attorney who takes the odd probate case.

Possibly you can get a free consultation, but this is less likely the better the attorney. If you have a significant amount of money coming your way, paying for an hour or two just to see your options will be worth it.

Dump her, fuck around for a while then hope you meet this "better girl" in the process. Staying with her is pointless if you feel that way.

wasting your time, just go for the 'better one'

>>17353558
I will dump her when I find someone else. Besides the nagging, she does cook and clean, buys me whatever I want and the sex is decent. If I can't stop the nagging then what's a faster way to meet a better woman?

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>>17353548
Fake it.

This is the best advice I was ever given. If you fake it hard enough eventually your brain gives up and you actually will be extremely positive. This works in most aspects of life. If it's tearing you apart inside you just have to learn to deal with it, as dismissive as that sounds. Faking it will actively retrain your brain to look at these things with a positive outlook.

>>17353615

Thank you for your response.

I'm very good at the whole faking it thing because I am a born worrier and it helps me get past it. However, it's more of a long term solution than something I can use in the short term. As I said, I don't have long until the move happens and it's really important to me that I approach it as positively as possible.

I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for really. I just want to make sure I don't ruin something amazing just because my stupid brain is trying to prepare me for all eventualities.

>>17353630
Find time to meditate if you can. That can help a great deal in the short term.

Find a hobby that gives you time to just focus on something else. The stress a good hobby can relieve is immeasurable.

>>17353507

Car accident.

the written test?
most of it is just common sense, I took a multiple choice test and it's usually two out of the five answers that seem plausible and you choose one of them.

Third times the charm. I failed twice too, it's okay, it happens.

>>17353495
bump

>>17353495
take it to the vet.

>>17353502
Update1: i don't have money to spend with it. Unfortunatelly.

>>17353488

they literally tell you how to respond

>hi neighbor!

you say 'hi' back

>enjoying the morning?

you say 'yes, i am'

>want some fugg?

you say 'nah im not gay'.

thats it.

>>17353493
Yeah that happened before when I inferred I was supposed to say hi back.

But then I felt uncomfortable because I didn't know if I was supposed to say anything else

>>17353501

then dont say anything. no ones posting on the secret facebook group about you sasying

>WOW I SAID HI TO ANON AND HE SAID HI BACK AND NOTHING ELSE WHAT A FUCKING LOSER TROLOLOLOL
>your mother will die in her sleep tonight if you dont reply to this post

tell us what life has done to screw you over, how has the world wronged you.

be as detailed as you like, but please post numerous examples. we'll go from there and deconstruct your feelings to help you find the path that is right for you.

>>17353475
Well for one both of my parents were killed around when I was 20.

I have terrible luck with relationships. People say you gotta keep trying and I do but I can't even get to the point of having a girlfriend. I am probably to screwed up to even maintain a relationship.

I feel gimped in life experiences because while my get to go out and travel using their parents money... I am busy just trying to survive.

It disturbs me deeply and makes me wonder why I try so hard to survive? There has to be more to life.

My life feels void of genuine happy life experiences. I don't even like to be reminded of my birthday because to be its just another day. Almost as if my emotions are eroded and all that's left is a survivors instinct.

I try to be happy but my mind just won't allow it. By the time I am 30, I won't have nearly the experiences of my friends.

>>17353506

>my parents died when i was 20

thank goodness you had them for so long! I had several friends who lost one or both parents before they were even teenagers. it is sad that you experienced this but keep in mind that they brought you to adulthood, and had the important development years. they may never see your wedding but you are still better off than... well a lot of people. a lot a lot. im not saying you cant feel sad or bad about htis, but saying the world 'wronged' you by giving you a more comfortable life than 99% of others is rather edgy.

>i have terrible luck with relationships

k, so the world wronged you because you struggle in the dating field?

>other people have it easier

get over yourself? other people have it harder yet they find happiness, yeah? im not saiyng you arent allowed to be sad or jealous, but you are insisting that the owrld has wronged you by not giving you a perfect life.

do you know what thats called? entitlement. you think that, because you are you, you deserve better htan everyone else, instead of working at happiness

>the rest of that

ow the edge. you are choosing to be an edgy try hard. you are. you really really are. very few people will have the experience of your friends.

make your own experience.

>>17353417
Because they don't have a neurological disorder, you sociopath.

>>17353428

>implying OP didnt make this thread and guided you towards that answer
>implying he didnt want to feel cool being called a sociopath

>>17353428
what do you mean? my friend called me that too

>>17353374

they dont exist. if they did everytone would covet them.

no jobs exist to asist thoughs who are depressed or suicidal. why would they hire someone who wants to kill themselves?

i guess you might find osmehting depending on your definition of 'comfy'

Software developer, programmer, etc.

>>17353403
Well maybe they existed but were low paying? I almost go to be a janitor in my building but they took some other person.
>>17353407
Ironically those were the ones I was trying to get but couldn't. I know some software dev stuff and programming but I hate it. I guess I should keep trying there.

Thanks.

>Arrive. Nothing feels different.
>I try and give it everything I have.
>This is my last shot.
>I eventually get fired.
>Full onset depression. I find alcohol. It's the only thing that eases the pain.
>It's the only thing that truly makes me.. Feel again.
>Watch as everything I have ever done amounts up to depression and debt.
>Find God.
>Give everything I have.
>Try to believe.. Just one more time.. For old times sake..
>Nothing changes
>People are destroyihng me and my life.
>Be writing this post in tears.
>Please.. Kill me

I don't want to change 4Chan.
I want to help others. I love to see how they look when they can feel that someone is truly looking out for them..
But I can't do it anymore..

>>17353392
I just want to make sure that you know I'm listening to your history, so keep going.

>>17353363

there is this weird new trend / culture of young men such as yourself who think women are in charge of making moves or at least signalling they are ready for moves.

they are not. and there is no real world tangible consequence for making a move when you are 'unsure'. stop waiting for a girl to be a 'sure thing' and just do what you want. you've been talking to her reasonably enough so go for her number. or just ask her to hang out irl.

>>17353376
this directly contradicts the advice often given by other anons on this board though

>>17353363
make a joke and then hold her hand.

If she laughs and holds you back in an excited manner then maybe. If its tepid then improve your game and try somebody else.

Also its the future and casual sex is normal, so you can get laid any time by a horny stranger.

>>17353360

A few things.

as for 'wont i always be depressed' the real question you need to ask yourself is 'do i always want to be depressed?'

and that can mean two different things.
1) do you actually enjoy being depressed because its the only way your life has any meaning, and thats the real issue here

OR

2) you know you are capable of achieving things. with certain things may come happiness. but do you want to sit here and guarantee depression simply because the other way is unknown.


ultimately you dont know if you will be happy if you go out and achieve something. im not saying you have to have a wife and kids and good job, there are other routes to happiness and achievement other than that. but life is like a game. you have to play to win.

if you dont play, you never win, and in the analogy here you are stuck being depressed.

at least if you play, you take the chance to find happiness.


one thing to think about is that life isn't like a movie. there isn't a climax to your life where everyone lives happily ever after and you enjoy the simple things.

life is much more like a TV show, the kind that never seems to end. there are many many many many many many many many little journeys that make up the path you are. the little ones build into big ones. you have your victories, you celebrate. you have your hard times, you buckle down. you grow, you learn, and each year it feels like you're experiencing a new high moment, a constant escalation, a finale, and yet next year it starts again.

there will always be struggle. but you can always have fun along the way.

>>17353360
>- I know I can assign myself some sort of intrinsic purpose and go out and wrap the world around my finger with a lasso,
Do you really know that, though? You've said a couple of times that it would be easy for you to get a great job/acquire wealth, etc., but in your current state (suicidal ideation, obsessed with meaninglessness) you obviously can't do that.

In my experience, inertia like yours is often driven by deep-seated fear--perhaps a fear of failure, a fear of actually not being able to succeed as easily as you say you could. Of course, these negative feelings can be exacerbated by depression.

>but is it really worth the effort?
Probably. But you'll never know without making the effort.

>Won't I always be depressed?
Maybe. But depression is usually manageable, and the meds you say counselors have suggested (along with more counseling) are probably a good place to start. I've been dealing with a depression that is sometimes nearly immobilizing--nearly as disabling as what you're dealing with now--for years. But I have many more good days now than I once did.

>I want to die.
I hope you are just being melodramatic when you say that. You say you don't want to hurt your family or fiancée (I don't know what you mean by 'can't afford to'). You have no idea how much more pain and injury your death would cause than whatever trouble you've put them through already.

I say this as someone who has both contemplated suicide and lost someone dear to me to suicide. I wish every day that I still had the terrifying, infuriating, exhausting junkie in my life rather than her absence. She was sometimes truly awful and sometimes I felt I hated her. But not having her hurts much more.

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>>17353390

Really great advice anon, thank you. I had written a long response and misclicked some keys and now it's gone.

>>17353405

Not trying to be inflammatory, but this is the kind of stuff counselors and some others have tried to tell me. It doesn't really click. Yes I really know that it would be easy to be successful (obviously not in my current state, it would require great effort/sacrifice of time and entertainment), I just don't feel like it's worth attaining as I feel like being "successful" anymore means doing a lot of things I just really don't give a shit about. However, I feel like I would need to sculpt myself into someone who could function in society and be financially independent in order to be anywhere near comfortable with continuing to live. My real question is, how do I care about society/money/self-improvement enough to become financially stable/independent while I am this depressed and far gone from reality?

The last part of your post is useless, honestly. I feel like dying is honestly the easiest way out of this and to deny that fact would be to lie to myself. I could kill myself right now and not even be aware that it happened. I would become nothing. All the mundane and irrelevant drama people like to bitch about would become absolutely meaningless. It's quite intoxicating to think about, it's truly one of life's greatest unanswered questions, what does happen when I die? It would mean one thing for certain, peace of mind. I didn't post here to be melodramatic.

To imply I'm being melodramatic is kind of silly, and honestly shows your disconnection from my situation. I appreciate your attempted help though.

Where in Asia? SEA or East Asia?

She might be looking for a green card out of her dump. If you like her you should be honest with yourself and those around you and say she's there to see you. Shouldn't stop you from showing her around Australia while you're at it though.

>>17353314
Korea, she's got a good life there, and has no interest in leaving, it's not a scam or anything

But am I encouraging/implying the wrong idea if I let her go to that much effort just to see me?

>>17353330
It depends on what you want, if you want to see how it goes and take it further into a real relationship then by all means go ahead, unless she is from SEA like how >>17353314 said in which case do not because she is just looking for a green card.

People that get abused are retards. If you don't like something, don't do it, if you don't like somebody, stop doing them. I don't know why you would ever put yourself in a position to be abused.

I make my money, drive my car, and live in my house. Who the fuck is going to be able to abuse me?

>>17353297

ignore this person, he doesnt know shit and is unable to see life from outside his perspective.

>>17353297
I suffered from physical and mental abuse when I was three up until I was almost five. How am I retarded?

Read a book. Stretch. Do yoga. Learn about something. Do math/any subject for fun. Do squats. Learn an instrument. Learn a skill. Do push ups. Do mountain climbers. Fap. Learn a language. Learn to bake. Etc etc

>>17353273
Try to find something that truly motivates you, sports are fine way to use the excessive time you have, also you can meet new people while you're having.

>>17353273

everyones different, but for a lot of people, there is a great sense of happiness and fulfilmment that comes from accomplishment. i feel the majority of free time should be spent on some sort of creation based project. not necessarilly art, but something that you do work at.

learn an instrument, make a movie, write an advice column, make music videos, draw a comic, write a book, make an audio play, build furniture, etc.