Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 78. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 78. page
Hello. Complete sad/sob and kind of fucked up story incoming.
A couple years back I went on a first date. I had an eating disorder(didn't want to eat) and issues with my family, which made everything I did worse. I was 17, she was 23. I lost my virginity that night, and we saw each other a few more times and had some laughs. She didn't want to see me anymore because I was a very emotional and annoying over texts. And she was seeing someone else. That's completely fair.
However, heart-broken and immature, I would go back and forth from sending her insulting texts to apologetic ones. What makes this even more regretful is she was sweet and understanding to me when I was having major issues from eating, family related, anxiety, etc.
After that, I decided to start working on my issues. I have had a lot of success and I wouldn't have addressed what I needed to fix without going through this.
2 days ago, I found out she recently committed suicide due to life long depression. The past 2 days I've been torn up, but I'm just about over it. I'm really regretful I didn't say anything before she went. RIP, A. And thank you. I really hope you're in a place where you're happy and your depression is gone. I'm now going to therapy to continue getting better.
Wait a minute, you let a pedophile have sex with you? No wonder she killed herself, she was having sex with a minor. The thought of your crazy texts probably put a lot of pressure on her because you could have went to the police and ruined her life....
What I am trying to say is you are indeed a part of the reason she killed herself.
>>17352002
Fuck off, anon. 17 is legal in this state. That makes it OK.
>>17352027
Whatever you say asshole...
>be me
>meet this 8/10 cutie
>added eachother on SC
>got her to send nudes
>she says that shes submissive
>tell her i own her and shit
>she gets turned on by that
>calls me daddy
>tfw im grossed out and say im not into the daddy kink
>she's okay with it
>she still send me nudes
>I hate it now because its constant every night
>she tell me to command her and tell her how to masturbate
>tfw we start around 10pm (central) and finish around 2-3am
>this has been going on for two weeks
>i dont want to fuck her i just want her out of my life
>tfw she knows some family members
You are such a total fag. Fuck her once and then be done with it you fucking idiot. You have a 8/10 girl sending you nudes and just masterbate.
Honestly kys and be done with it, the male gender would be a lot better without you muking it up.
Or this a troll who has nothing better to do which also would be me suggesting you to kys.
>>17351964
Nah dude i can get pussy on the reg
But this girl is just insane
She's constantly talking and shit its basically annoying how she acts like a total kid sometimes
Tbh i dont mind fucking her but she knows family so its gonna be hard to take her out of my life
>>17351974
For a guy who gets pussy you come off as a virgin. Girls are emotional creatures who don't succumb to logic at times and so be be crystal clear when you are done with it. Don't call her, don't text her but meet up with her in a private place and say it is over. Be stern, don't smile, look her right in the eye and be brutally honest.
Tell her that if she comes near you or if contacts you again, you will block her and be done with her forever. Repeat it to her again and then ask her if she understands. She will cry, yell and then get angry. The more emotional she is, the better for you because she is registering that you are serious.
I am 18 and I will be going to Uni next semester. I am worried that I will have trouble with the ladies. I look pretty young from my age, looking back at old photos I look exactly as I did when I was 14. I am 5'7" so at least I am not that short but I am often get mistaken for being younger. When I went to my campus visit they were talking to my brother most of the time and ignoring me because they thought I was too young to be a senior. I am not sure if I am a late bloomer or not but it seems like I am done developing. I can't grown any facial hair but I have a decent amount of body hair and a above average penis that looks huge on my frame. My question is, do women generally dislike young looking men? I used to be okay with being called cute but at this age it's some what demeaning. Will I have a harder time than others meeting girls at University? I am not trying to be a player or anything I just want to meet some qts.
post dick pic
>>17351902
Blue board, and even if it wasn't I wouldn't.
You aren't done grow man, I was 5'9 at 18 and now at 22 am 6'0. I also grew a decent stubble but that was because I hit the iron and stopped jacking off so much.
Do women like men with cute faces? Depends on how attractive you are, if they find you cute you have a shot. Just improve your style, wear age appropriate clothing for your age, get a haircut and hit on girls.
I got a problem.
>Be me
>Work as a lifeguard over the summer
>Notice Egyptian lady with two kids walking around outside the pool always looking in at me
>whatever.exe
>Start a conversation with her on why she keeps looking but never comes inside the pool
>She makes up some BS about not being able to speak English
>Next day
>She walks up and starts the conversation this time
>Learn her name and age
>She's 8 years older than I am (I'm 18)
>The two kids are her children
>I think whatever, I'm open minded
>Keep talking to her whenever I see her, she starts asking what times I work
>Becomes regular
>Out of no where she says she loves me
>85% sure it's just a language barrier issue (She is an immigrant from Egypt)
>Consider my options with her
>Learn she's married
>All of those options dead
>Tell her that it's not going to happen since she has a husband and two kids to take care of
>She comes back a few days later and tries to get me to leave the pool during my watch
>When I go outside of the fenced area to talk to her she asks me about this random 12 year old who was talking to me
>Acting possessive and shit
>She says that she loves me again
>I tell her that she needs to set her priorities straight and that cheating on her husband would be a catastrophic mistake
>She seems to be very depressed at that, tells me to go away
>Later that night, after my shift ends, I go outside to see a note stuck to my car's window with a bandaid
>One of those bigass bandaids
>The note is written in very bad handwriting and is using a lot of those texting shortcuts like "bcuz"
>Basically she says she loves me but hates me for not returning her feelings
>Something like she gets weak every time she sees me but needs to hate me so she needs to go away
>Said that she will try to leave America because of me
>Did I forget to say she wrote that she hates me?
Anyways, did I make the right choice? Sex would've been great, but she's married, and I would have some moral qualms breaking that.
Bitch is crazy and you shouldn't have even entertained her from the get go. Do your job and don't talk to women with children.
And no sex would not have been worth it, trust me.
isnt there a bro code for this? dont stick your dick in crazy?
>>17351899
Yeah you're right, I let sex cloud my judgement. Thanks for the advice man.
>>17351915
Never really took that too seriously before, guess I should start. Thanks
Back in high school, we had a video game design class. As a gamer myself and having interest in it's development,I took it the course. I did pretty well (B grade and not a stunning A+ sadly) as well as the engine we used for the level design portion was outdated, I really did find enjoyment and fulfillment in the course.
Now I had a friend in the course who got asked by the teacher if he was interested in taking the game design shit as a career. The teacher never did ask me if I wanted to take it as a career but I shrugged it off. My shit I made in the class wasn't the best anyways but I still wanted to do this and git gud. The teacher gave only a limited number of students to come on a field trip to some game company around the area I lived in during my time taking the course. My friend got invited. I never did although most people just asked if they could come along.
Now fast forward a few years from all of that. I have taken the game design shit seriously. Went to some college for it and graduated. But I not only have no job but I feel like my work was underwhelming compared to the other students'. I feel like the teacher back in high school knew I wasn't cut out for it but I said fuck it, I'm following my dreams, I'll get better, I'll become the best, you know those cheesy bullshit lines they make in movies. I said them. And now here I am. I wasted a few years of my life for this shit. I did it but I didn't make it. I don't know what. Maybe I was just meant to be a player and no maker? I feel like such an embarrassment to my family and myself. The thought of doing something else during that time keeps rushing in my head and it's not leaving. I don't know what to do from here. The signs were there that I'm not making it yet ignorance got the best of me and here I am.
I just don't know. I'm feeling way too down over this. Need some help.
I guess killing myself is the best answer?
>>17351939
Or you could
>go back to school and study something else
or
>work on your own game and see if you can build up a portfolio of sorts that way
You could always learn web design and become a designer. Transfer some of the skills you learned from school and go into that? Then do that as a career and then network to go back into the game design industry. It isn't over, you just need to reposition yourself man. Also don't talk about killing yourself, you are an amazing person who is just a little lost right now.
Why do I suddenly have a desire to try smoking? I've never really wanted to smoke before and have always realized how dumb and pointless it is, going so far as to turn down offers from friends who smoke more than once. Even if I acknowledge that it's super aesthetically pleasing, that never seemed close to worth it.
So why'd I buy this tonight?
Disclaimer: I'm 18
>>17351870
Try one. You won't get addicted to a single cigarette, unless you have absolutely no will power.
It looks cool
It makes you feel cool
There's an inherent pleasure to deep exhalation, and smoking is just a habit that includes that
You bought stubbs. First of all, manly choice. Second of all, good choice.
Smoke two or three of those as your first and you won't want tobacco any further. You're gunna get tobacco flakes all over your mouth and it's gunna burn like hell.
Don't start. Everybody says that, even current and ex-smokers. There's a good fucking reason. I don't even smoke that much anymore and I still hate the fact I end up wasting $5 every week or so on a pack that I don't even like.
It's wasteful, it smells bad to most people, it stains yours teeth, blah blah fucking de blah.
Go ahead and have a few just to say you did, but don't make a habit. If you don't like your first two or three, throw the pack out and just be done with it. The chic doesn't last long.
P.S. Drunk smoking is perfectly fine, nicotine and alcohol bond chemically in a way that makes people crave it. Just don't do it regularly or socially. Everybody drunk smokes/
DON"T SMOKE!
Sorry if I come off autistic but seriously don't. I work at a gas station part time in college and the amount of people telling me how shit they feel, how fucked up their health is and how they can't quit is enormous. I am always having old guys saying "don't start or else you will end up like me." Plus it is expensive as fuck. Two packs can be 25 bucks and above.
You like your health right? Well the moment you start smoking that will go down the drain and your health bill will be up. Don't be a faggot.
>Have bad babyface
>Can't grow facial hair worth shit
>Literally every attractive girl I meet considers me her "adorable brother"
What do?
You don't need facial hair guy, honestly. What you need to be is forth write and too the point. The moment a girl tells you she finds you adorable, you next her and move on. All about probability and so eventually you will get laid.
Even if you grew a beard, you'd just be a bitchbaby with a beard.
Prove them wrong.
I rent a room in a house with many people. Luckily, many of them stay somewhere else.
My roommate got out of a large sexually-charged conflict with a another roommate who had a crush on him. This roommate felt rejected and started bullying him. It must have been some real shit, because it escalated into a fight and the guy with the crush leaving out of fear.
Now he's being stand-offish because I get moods and he's afraid I'm going to start some kind of conflict with him. He started talking about never knowing if you're dealing with a sociopath or a narcissist, which could offend me, but I really sympathize with that concern. Instead of being nice, though, I just "assured" him I wasn't a troublesome person.
I would really rather he was comfortable with me and understood that we're not going to get in any sort of fight. Should I just leave him alone? What kind of gesture would make him trust me more, a gift as a show of good will or something?
>>17351855
For me, I'd make food. Don't do it like "this is for you, as a gift" but more casually, like "oh I'm made X, got some extra if you want, its good" or "Hey, I got extra X in the fridge if you're hungry, its free to take."
Obviously, don't make it so you're just giving him cold leftovers or something, and you're going to want to time it so you're not cooking for the entire house. Unless you make chili, cos you can make tons of chili for cheap.
That's usually the way I get on good terms with new roommates that I don't know; I make food and get them a beer and usually people appreciate that.
>>17351855
nothing, for you have already both understood the situation. move on and be more standoffish with him anyways. continue to mind your business.
the more you make a point to make a point of it all, the more you are revealing how you define him. thus the more the situation changes from him, alone. just continue to mind your business from all of your room mates. the best thing you can do is move out as soon as possible.
Link to video that will get me to quit my job plz?
...that is rapidly turning into dull sorrow and apathy? I don't feel like I've had even a year of smooth sailing in my life since I was a kid.
I was abused by a stepsibling, bullied all through school, watched a grandparent die over a year in hospital and had to be the 'man' at 12, and my mother was chronically ill and still is to this day requiring as much physical care as emotional support. If this wasn't enough, I had an accident that has fucked my own health to the point I can't work but still seem more or less okay to the casual observer, which means it's a constant fight to correct assumptions that I'm a feckless NEET.
Thing is, just as things started to improve, they took a turn for the worse. Over the last decade; My remaining grandparent I'm in contact with has had two brain tumors, one removed, one irradiated into remission (or the equivalent) while still existing and requiring observation. My mother grew worse, becoming bedridden, and only recently has been able to even sit up for any length of time, and developed major separation anxiety from her family after a year of literal screaming panic attacks daily before her meds were sorted. This was all capped by, around Xmas time, everyone catching fucking swine flu of all things and me (being sick myself) having to tough it out while they were in hospital, taking care of bills, my sibling, and visiting.
Just as things start to calm down... my dad has a major heart attack, with risk of more, and refuses to curb his drinking and goes straight back to a stressful job, AND my stepfather who has had a smokers cough for around a year is being called in for blood tests and a chest scan, and my own health is dipping after a couple of years raise likely due to stress.
I'm utterly exhausted. And I feel despair and worry, but what scares me is how I'm starting to operate as 'standard'. I'm constantly waiting for 'what comes next' and yet, also find myself strangely numb to much of it, and feel guilty.
>>17351823
To finish, I just don't know how to handle all this. I can't process it, and have had bad experiences with professional help. I feel like the main character is a particularly nasty drama/soap. Worse, personally, I've always taken pride in not having an addictive personality - but I'm finding that with each new crisis, I'm wanting a drink to take the edge off, and I know enough to see that as a sign of potential trouble.
What the fuck do?
Walk to a forest or some place deserted and scream. Scream so much that you feel exhausted and then take a nice long walk back to your place thinking of this idea. The world is large and the universe is even larger. Things come and go but nothing will remain forever. Yes the present looks miserable and bad now but who is to say that tomorrow isn't better? You are the painting, you are the paintbrush. you are the canvas.
You are the question, you are the answer to the question you are looking for. You are everything, WE are everything. We are sentiens, we are consciousness, the most sublime, miraculous thing in the universe, So you better having a good time and authoring your faith. No matter what happens to you or what you feel is the world coming down on you, it will pass and you are my friend are amazing. Keep your head up high, grind through and I am sure happy joys will follow.
Sorry but I am high as fuck right now my post is probably everywhere.
Well give yourself credit for helping others in your family. As to the worry, that is probably natural but still it's best to forget the future in regards to these things on your plate. Just stick to this moment and take one act at a time, do one thing. Then give yourself credit for it. We often can't control things that happen, or people, but we can manage our own attitude. Think a positive thought, like you're a good son or grandson. Exercise also can help your state of mind even if it's just a short walk. Hope this helps you some anon.
>Be 21, meet stunning 20 year old Chinese girl
>We met online
>We both have over protective Christian parents.
>She was adopted
>We talk daily on the phone/skype etc.
>We are both workaholics and study 24/7 and are essentially shut ins.
>Both Christians yet we make each other laugh and get along amazingly well.
>A year goes by and nothing changes.
>She says she loves me...
What do?!?
You don't do anything because this won't work out.
A year? If she really liked you she would have made a move on you 11 months ago, break it off before you become too attached. I know it looks like you will never another girl as amazing as she is but you will.
>>17351813
Say you love her back!
Then hug her in your MMO.
>>17351813
You're 21. Go move closer to where she lives, then visit her.
I did that at age 25, and my Chinese girl wasn't adopted; she had returned to China. Visited her anyway. Fell in love. Lived together for three years, then got married.
Crazy shit happens, anon. It's worth taking the shot. I had intention of marriage when I went to visit her, I just had to see her again. If it hadn't worked out, I still would've been glad I tried.
God damn, anons.
Where can I find a girl like this?
>>17351742
I want her so bad
She looks about 14. Anon...
Hi /adv/, I just got this fucking sweet position as a web dev and my employer just asked for my social security card, problem is, I lost that and my birth cert, and I just found out that to get my social I need my birth cert. It costs $23.00, I only have $20 in my bank account, but fuck me being broke, how do I explain that to my employer?
>how do i tell my employer i dont have berth cert or social
>>17351731
Why don't you ask someone for the extra cash? How did you get so broke?
Just tell him that you lost then and are trying to get new ones, he can probably delay needing them (I sometimes have to wait a week or two when I hire new people for them to get all their documents to me).
>>17351731
Go collect some fucking cans.
Go turn the cans in.
Deposit the funds in your account.
Stop being retarded over $3.00
>>17351737
im a college dropout living out of my means (until now),plus I had to get a macbook to look the part, shit is expensive, I dont get paid for like two weeks
Redpill me on haggling, I just got a job at a resale store where a lot of merchandise isn't priced so I have to set prices when costumers ask "How much is this?" and I'm kind of bad at looking at something and pricing it on the spot. Most of the items we get is like used hardware, or donated appliances and furnishings.
It's hard for me to like look at a doorknob, sink, lamp, bag of screws/tiles and just be able to come up with a price. I'm afraid if I say too high of a number they costumer won't buy it, if I say too low of a number I'll lose the store money. I've never worked in a job where I had to set prices on the spot and like haggle with the costumers, it's all kind of new to me.
>>17351683
Cool you get to act like Pawn Stars.
But it's resale, so pretty low stakes. Half of being confident is sticking to your rules, whether they make sense or not. So have a general outline: Open with a low-normal, and accept down to 65-75% of that in a counter. Stick to this script with confidence. If the customer won't take it, don't just end on stony silence, lead them to something else. Practice having interesting banter.
But if you're trying to come up with your opener for the first time when a customer asks, you're doing it wrong. When the customer asks "how much," it's a bad look to furrow your brow in confusion/contemplation, mull it over, and spit out a number. Makes it look like you're just making it up, and it has no rhyme or reason to it. You should come in early (or stay late), inventory what you have and get an idea of opener well in advance.
Of course you'll still be making it up, but it will *appear* as though there is some logical rationale behind it, and the appearance of legitimacy will sell the customer on you.
It's a lot of fun. I had no idea I was a charismatic person until I took a similar job.
>>17352111
Good advice, but we get a lot of Mexicans in the store who can't speak English, or it's broken English so it can be hard to communicate with them. Also what should I do if a costumer says something like "Oh wow, that's way more than I thought it would be." Should I let them make a counter offer? Like can I say "Well what price did you have in mind?" See I don't want to do this because they might say a super low number to get it for the cheapest they can, I guess I can hear their counter offer and say something like "Well that's a bit low, but I can meet you in the middle. Or can you come up a bit?"
Of course I feel like you have some costumers that will justify their low price like "Oh it's rusted, or used and you can see it's damaged slightly, etc." I don't know if I can really justify the price I tell them, like if they say "Well can you tell me why you're asking so much for it?" I guess I can say that it's similar to this product and that's how much we charge for a similar product, either way I'm just not good at randomly appraising or pulling a price out of my ass.
I know you said I should have a number already in my head when they ask how much something is, I'm just so afraid it'll be either too high or too low, as you said I guess the only way to fix this is to look around the store and see how much things are priced for. But half the stuff in the store isn't even priced, so I don't have anything to look at for comparison on prices. If a costumer asks me "How much is this?" and holds up something that I have no idea how much to charge for it I kind of get anxious or nervous, I could just give a quick-fire answer like "Oh it's $3.00" and see how they respond. Some might say "Oh, alright thanks." or they might be surprised or upset saying "Really? $3.00 for this?"
I've only just started working there and I know practice makes perfect, I'll get better at it over time but it's a new experience for me. I'm so use to merchandise already being priced
Just become the jew anon
Anyone here manage to get out of moderate to severe depression without medication? I'd like to one day be out of a haze, id like to be fully awake one day and get my memory and concentration back.
I "did" it.
I don't know any sort of official documentation about depression or shit, but I was pretty down.
Pretty far fucking down.
I got out by doing small things each day.
Like a snowball, but in reverse. You go uphill now.
Just do one thing a day. One thing that is productive. Not just groceries or shit, but one thing that is not necessary. Hell just going to the library counts.
Go out and do something.
You got friends? Go see them.
I had a very good friend who helped me apply to college.
Depression is easy to wallow in alone, but once you tangle in other people, it feels hard. It's easy to disappoint yourself, but other people? That's hard.
I found it easiest to do it when I just woke up.
Wake up, eat breakfast, then go do your shit.
You get comfy, you ain't gonna do shit.
Set your day to do something and do it.
I know that bottom well feeling. Like you just want to exist.
You'll be surprised how much living feels good.
Sun, family and friends, exercise, eating right and sleep are what cured me
Nature and microdosing psilocybin mushrooms.
Dear /adv/
I am an adult in my mid-thirties, and I love cuddling with stuffed animals/plush toys. It is not a sexual thing, I just find them comforting.
I have a pretty good life - awesome job, financially stable, own my own house, happily married, sexually active, fit.
But I think part of the reason I am doing so well is because my childhood was a hellhole abyss of shittiness, with slightly less shitty stints in foster care.I was super driven to become a functional, successful person to get away from it. I never really had my toys as a kid, and I carried my belongings around ina suitcase. So plush toys were a relative novelty to me, and I think as an adult I was kinda fascinated by them. I remember being 19 and seeing the easter displays in the stores with the candy colored bunnies, and I wondered what it would be like to hold one.
As grateful as I am for the life I have now, sometimes when I am under a lot of stress, I just want to curl up with a teddy bear and cry. A close friend of mine died recently, and this is how I have been dealing with it.
I feel super ashamed. It seems like such a childish thing to do. On the other hand, having a few plush toys around really seems to help.
Any advice?
I like fluffy toys too, don't worry they are fluffy friends
Normal and a sign that you're a good person. I know grown men who are nurturing and find babies like this adorable, and it creeps people out because it's a womanly feature but it's actually extremely good of them.You're similar, except you like stuffed animals
There's also grown men who play video games, wear band aids and eat candy just like children do. It's not bad, just how it is.
OP this is very healthy. I could understand if you are self-concious about it but fuck anyone who says you can't cuddle with a stuffed animal. Sounds like you have a very fulfilling life.
It's a positive coping method. Some people choose stuffed animals, and plenty out there choose booze and drugs. The latter don't end up very happy in the end.
