Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 326. page
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I'm 24 years old. I took 5 years for a B.S. of Psychology and have done fuck all (work or volunteering) since and before hand. I can't apply to graduate school because shit tier 2.48 GPA from taking classes I'd never pass in. I don't like people in general and can't deal with groups of more than 10. I was thinking about obtaining a technical degree and working or just straight up bullshitting on my resume to apply for jobs I'm under qualified for. I've been having thoughts of suicide. Please help.
>>17292644
What did you want to do with your psychology degree, anon?
>>17293072
I wanted to be a therapist or a counsellor.
>>17293225
But you don't like people? Please explain that to me, anon.
Grad school could potentially be an option for you, but good luck with the GPA. Did you do any research in undergrad?
Alright, so I'm 24 and I joined an online dating site last week. I started talking to a girl a few days ago and her profile said she was 18, felt a little odd about the age difference but I figured it was close to reasonable.
So yesterday I was texting her and asked if she would want to meet for dinner on Sunday and she said yes. This morning she texts me and admits that she's actually only 16 and apologizes. I thanked her for telling me the truth and said I don't think we should meet.
She still really wants to meet me though. 16 is the age of consent in my state so technically it wouldn't be illegal? It just feels wrong though, what do you guys think?
If it feels wrong, it probably is.
Idk bro, i dont think 16 year olds can consent anywhere in the US if the other partner is over 18.
I'm 99% sure the age of consent being 16 means that a 16 year old can consent to sex with other minors ages 16 and above. You're probably gonna end up in the slammer.
bruh if it feels wrong then don't do it
nothing against the law about fucking the bitch but do you really want to mess with a 16 yr old liar on an adult dating site?
let that sink in for a bit
How do I get my crush to break up with his girlfriend? She's like 19, he's 29, and they have absolutely nothing in common. She's training to become a practical nurse while he's in IT. He's a nerd like me, while his girlfriend is completely bland, seems to have no interests or hobbies at all. She's also dumb as shit, failing to get her driver's license for like 5 times a row for one thing. I just think he deserves better, but I think he's got low self-esteem is the problem.
Anything I can do? We're not that close, but I can sometimes talk to him at a random afterparty for an event if we're both drunk.
>>17292435
Be honest: is she hotter than you? I can already tell she's younger, so I have to ask.
He just wants some of that good young tight stuff. Most women are pretty grotesque after college from all the binge drinking or whatever it is that makes them age at 10x the usual rate.
Guys will take a girl they're physically attracted to over one who they gave things in common with ANY DAY. Who cares if he's a nerd like u? People with similar interests are good as FRIENDS. Clearly he's probably not into you, and you should just let him be happy
>lyft driver drops me off
>gets out of his car and attacks me
>im told he will get some 'disciplinary action' but they cant tell me what
>thats it
how do i make the most of this shitty situation?
Press charges against him as an individual.
>>17292363
can someone point me in the right direction here i dont even know what to do
>>17292421
yes, but to do that i would need his name and information. all i know is his first name.
they keep saying they wont give me information
What do you think of the use of antidepressants ? Not wondering about their efficiency here, but talking about the act of taking drugs to be happy.
Meds have done wonder for me in the past (I think), and my life slowly turned to shit since I don't take them anymore. But I still can't bring myself to use them again.
I'm wondering if being happy using them wouldn't be like cheating, or if I shouldn't escape my real feelings, as shitty as they might be.
Then again is there any sense to this kind of questions ? I don't know if a feeling is less real because he is drug-induced, I don't know if the notions of reality or authenticity matter when you're sick, and I don't even know if I'm sick.
Since I don't know shit, what do you know ?
>>17292332
The purpose of anti depressants isn't to fix your happiness problems, at best it's a mask. It's a mask that simply hides your problems, but if you do nothing about the cause of your depression, you can take the meds for years and still be sad when you go off them. You're using a crutch.
You're supposed to use them like this:
>Feel bad
>So bad you can't do anything
>Take meds
>Feel reasonably alright
>Use this as an opportunity to start habits that would kill off your depression like gym, meditating, therapy, journalling, enough sunlight etc
>Use it to fix the cause of your depression
>Go off the meds
End up being able to handle depression unlike before, eventually btfo it.
The whole muh chemical imbalance thing isn't as common as people make it out to be. For most people, the cause of their depression is behavioral problems and faulty mindsets and belief.
>>17292332
people dont use the word 'honor' anymore because it seems cheesy. but i would use it to describe you.
you know happiness is a pill away but you'd rather face your problems ,even though you might not even udnerstand them. i think having your mindset is the first step to getting better.
im a big believer that life is what you make of it. bad things will happen but its how you deal with those things that decide whether or not you are happy or not. i think you can be happy. i think you are leaving the phase where you want your depression to define you. you had a taste of happiness thanks to the pills and realize that depression isnt worth it as a persona, but are hoping to find happiness in reality.
cuz drugs only give you a hollow happiness. you feel content with the way things are. fix the things that make you sad anon. good luck.
>>17292332
protip: everyone is on drugs of some sort, anon. whether its pharmaceuticals or otc meds, dudeweedlmao, hard drugs, caffeine, sugar, jesus, etc etc etc
just do what works best for you. use it as a crutch until you can walk on your own.
Just come back off holiday to find that the girl I was sleeping with off and on has got with one of my friends. Should I be mad? What should I do?
>>17292285
Nah. fuckbuddy relationships are doomed from the start.
You can't lose what was never there.
You cannot lose what you never had.
Now finish unpacking your luggage, and clean your fucking room.
>>17293530
Yeah, and clean those fucking dishes you left at the sink as well
Hello musicians on /adv/,
I wish to learn how to play an instrument. What would you suggest for a complete amateur, and how would one go about learning how to play? The last I touched an instrument was several years ago in a music class.
>>17292263
learn how to read music before you touch anything
if you cant do that then you aren't going to make it
>>17292263
start with a piano or keyboard. this will make understanding most string instruments a little easier. percussion is fun, but can get pretty expensive. i cant help you with anything that requires you to blow into it to make sounds.
>>17292263
start with piano first
it will go a LONG way
Hi /adv/
So me and my partner of 3 years separated about a year ago. Things went to shit after I found out that he had slept with someone else. But, I chose to try and accept it and move on because it was partly my fault due to my anxiety causing me to ignore him and isolating myself away from him (I even ignored him on his 31st birthday and he had to spend it alone in his apartment). Anyways, things started to get better then one night early hours of the morning i screamed at him in bed telling him he was just a cheater and so on... I know I'm pathetic. Anyways he broke up with me the next day and honestly it was a surprise but i took it pretty well at first and packed my stuff and I was out by that evening. A year later now and we've messaged each other pretty much every single day since I've left. (I moved back home 400km's away.) We call each other all the time and he tells me that he loves me and wants to go on dates and try to fix our relationship. I agree I want the same things but I really don't know how to act. I'm 21 now and my anxiety has gotten a lot better over the last year because I've had time to be with friends and really find myself. I really do believe this guy loves me and I wanna make things work but.
How can I make sure I won't become extremely anxious around him because of our past experiences? Should I have sex with him straight away or should I wait and see how things go. I'm so inexperienced with relationships I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing by trying to mend something that was once so broken we had to separate.
Has anyone gotten back with an ex that you had big problems with and made it work?
>>17292149
>Has anyone gotten back with an ex that you had big problems with and made it work?
If you could make it work, they wouldn't have become your ex in the first place.
Did you mean his 21st birthday or are you actually dating a guy 10 years older than you?
>>17292178
It hurts to hear this, I just can't see it as true because why would we keep in contact pretty much everyday if there's no hope to fix it? Idk I understand what you're saying but surely someone out there has made it work.
>>17292185
I am 21 he is now 32
Need some advice about this guy I've been dating. Can't determine if I'm just not tat into him or if having my interest wane after a while is just natural of all relationships and not necessarily indicative of anything. He has just been generally pretty passive aggressive the past few weeks. Whenever I confront him about it, he makes excuses for his behavior to somehow prove that it's not his fault. He has also been posting accomplishments on facebook in a way I find strange. He recently got re enrolled in college and posted his acceptance letter on facebook. He also recently got a car (he previously had none and I drove to see him) and posted a picture of it on facebook without even mentioning it to me first. Is it weird that I found it odd that he shared it with facebook friends before sending me a text about it? Lastly, and this is where I've really been questioning things, he called me a few nights ago late at night crying because his friends didn't show up to an event he had invited them to. I was just kind of surprised and didn't know what to say. We are both the same age, late 20s, and was wondering if that is normal or am I just being insensitive? I found it really odd that he would call me crying about something so trivial. what should I do? wait it out and see if things get better? go with my gut feeling and end it quickly? Thoughts? Pic unrelated.
>>17292109
stop being a moody bitch OP
>>17292113
so am I in the wrong for this? If so how do I address my own shortcomings?
also if this makes a difference, we've only been seeing each other a couple months, has not been a long term relationship as of yet.
My Mom is a hyper - critical, insane, manipulative bitch.
She lies about things to gain sympathy (usually from my dad so he sides with her over me).
I get a new job, it's not good enough. My new apartment is a shit hole. I'm too fat, my friends are no good and even things like I need to change my hair because it makes me look ugly.
I've been in therapy for years and she even called my dr once to 'put him straight' that it's my fault im a failure because the shrinks 'always blame the parents.'
Last lot of therapy I have kept quiet about.
I can't stand being around her.
Her mom died and it's like a huge pity party all the time despite the fact she treated her like shit.
I tried to distance myself but she hounds me constantly having to know every detail about my life.
She says things to my daughter to try and get her to want to stay with her even though my daughter cries for her own mom, much to the chagrin of my mother. She even went back on a promise to buy her a toy because she said 'oh well if you love mom more then you're not having it.'
My dad is so passive and agrees with everything she says so he won't talk to her.
What can I do?
time to move out niggy, even if its a tiny apartment with 4 roommates you'll feel better
>>17291856
Wait, your father is still married to her?
C U C K
I had a bitch mom too. I moved to the other side of the country, got caller ID and never spoke to her again. I keep in touch with rest of my family, but I'm done putting up with my mother
My boyfriend stopped having sex with me 9months ago. Now he barely even kisses me. What could be wrong with me?
Talk to him about this? Have you tried initiating sex? Did he refuse? What are his excuses or theres none? Obviously theres no communication if this is going on for 9 months.
>>17291854
How's your hygene and sex life? Both now and before?
Could be he's losing interest.
Have a talk with him about it. Maybe the issue is him.
Also if you're a boring plank in bed then maybe that's why, but I don't see that being a reason to stop kissing or anything.
>>17291867
Good enough.
>>17291854
Why is it a gif though.
Is there a way to get a burger job without ever having to deal with a customer? I don't mind flipping burgers 8 hours a day but I can't talk to people. My voice gets all low and mumbly (even in relaxed situations with people I know, they often correct me on this, though I can't even "hear" it) and apparently my face has a mopey look to it, just by default. My fake smiles are really creepy, too. There's really no happy medium.
Anyway, what places should I apply to? How do I navigate the situation to increase my chances to get put in the back? What signs should I look for in places that would indicate one way or the other? Like would busy places make this more likely, or slower? What other factors should I account for? What other steps should I take?
If it's a thing that's determined after getting hired, what steps can I take in terms of interacting with my boss/coworkers to increase my chances of being put in the back? Is it appropriate to just be upfront with the boss? Also, is there a way to earn juice with my kitchen coworkers to get them to step up and deal with customers in emergency situations?
Anon, this board is about sex/dating advice. This is off-topic.
>>17291852
Just do it , over time it gets better and you get use to it.
>>17291889
No, it's not. What are you smoking?
My wife and I are getting divorced. Everything is happening in a friendly manner, we are unhappy with the situation of course, but figured out together that it would be the best for both of us, since we already tried to 'resurrect' the relationship a couple of times some years ago and it didn't work out.
The thing is, I'm really desperate about the idea of being a divorced man. I'm still relatively young - 31 years old (we were young when we married), but since it's been a long time since I've been alone, on my own, I simply have no clue about how things are going to be. Any advice you guys could give (especially divorced people). I mean, things like:
> How long until you get used to be all by yourself.
> How to cope with the loneliness.
> When I should begin to hang out with friends again or eventually dating.
I ask this because one of my closest friends have been trying to cheer me up, saying things like I'm still young, that there is this girl that is interested on me, that I should try to move on, but I simply have no idea what I'm supposed to do about that. I feel that I'm a failure and want to stay locked inside my house.
> How to know if I'm getting depressed and what should I do to avoid it.
> Do people will begin looking down on me because I'm divorced?
> Are divorced people considered a failure or something like that? This really bothers me, I'm really unhappy with the situation of being divorced,
> What about my family. How will they react?
I've always been the "good son", I have a brother who is already divorced and I feel that my family will never forgive me. I simply want to disappear for some time because I don't know if I will be able to look then on their eyes.
>falling for the marriage meme
Sorry man.
>>17291798
I didn't want to grow old alone and the idea of having kids and grandchildren around me as I grew old always appealed to me. Shit happens, and now I feel miserable.
31 is still young, you will need to wait to heal before dating other people, don't rush into another relationship.
Living alone takes about 6 months to adjust to but it's still a shitty way to live and the loneliness can easily creep in if you stay inside all the time and never leave your place. My best advice; get outside even if you're just going out alone. Do not stay inside all the time, it will eat away at your sanity. I've been there and trust me when I say you don't want to go down that road.
People will always find a way to look down on you for any reason. It's how they make themselves feel better about their shitty existences . Just stop giving a fuck, you will feel much better.
Failure builds character, people who have never failed in life haven't lived. Divorces happen, people who were right for you when you were in your early twenties might not be right for you in your early thirties. People changes, needs change, it's just life.
Your family needs to take their idealistic sunglasses off. Life is full of trials, it's not some bullshit movie. The people that stay in broken marriages and try to play it off like there are no issues usually are the people that blow their fucking brains out for "no reason" and everyone that knew end up saying shit like, "they had such a perfect marriage with beautiful children, I just don't know why he would do that". It's fucking life man, this isn't a movie, you did the right thing by getting out before your confliction consumed you.
In this day and age, how would one find a good, intelligent virgin woman who wants to raise a large family and be a stay at home mom without being Christian? If you're going to reply "why would you want one?" or "wow, it's not 1950" just keep it to yourself.
>>17291673
Is this another troll post?
If not, are you adverse to all religions?
>>17291673
A girl who plays MMORPGs then hand her a book.
>fedorafaggotry
You realize that having Christian values came from Christianity and the rise of secularism and atheism is why women don't care about doing things the Christian way anymore?
You're literally the root of the problem.
Fuck guys. My best friend is about 4 inches shorter than me but is way stronger than me because he was a state wrestler. I'm a skinny 6'0 145lbs lanklet. I've never been in a fight, and I'm an introvert. He's an extrovert.
This is gonna be a long story, please bear with me.
>Let's call him C
>He calls me and asks me to pick him up 40 mins away at a party
>I'm with our other friend, J, and J's friend, B
>Say okay and go get him
>He says he'll be out in 20 mins
>Call him again and he says just another 20 mins
>Repeat x5
>Everyone is frustrated Bc we're waiting for him
>Finally shows up
>We go to the gas station
>J is handing me dollar bills, saying they're 20's
>Keep telling him no, and to give me the twenty so I can get gas
>Casually toss the single back at him(Not even in an aggressive way)
>B tells me to watch wtf I'm doing, that's shits disrespectful
>C steps up and tells B not to talk to me like that and starts defending me
>They keep telling each "Let's fucking go"
>I calm the fight down, we're outside the car at this point
>Tell C it's not worth it and to let's go
>C, out of nowhere starts punching himself in the car
>In the cheek, multiple times
>Don't really notice Bc I'm driving
Cont.
Well cont already
You feel emasculated because you lost a fight? Why? Men lose fights all the time; they also win sometimes, but no man ever goes undefeated for very long. Especially when the other guy is trained and you are not.
Switched to my PC.
Cont.
>He texts me "You should've let me fought him"
>"You're my life bro, I'd take your side over anyone, I got your fucking back"
>Tell him that I know that and I really appreciate it, and that I have his all the time too
>So we get to J's house
>J is drunk and is going to bed, I tell J that I'm gonna walk home since I only live 10 mins away and I need to be up in two hours
>C tells me I'm not going by myself
>Tell him that I'm fine and I can handle myself
>Tells me that he either comes with me or I go to his house(10 mins away in opposite direction)
>Say no, and I'll just walk home
>Start walking and he keeps telling me no and starts pushing me
>Tell him to go away jokingly and that I'll be fine, but I appreciate the caution
>He starts getting really physical and I tell him to fuck off
>We eventually start shoving each other
>Keep telling him to let me go
>He grabs me and pulls me to the ground
>Starts wrestling with me
>He puts me in a bunch of different holds as I struggle to free myself
>Rolling into parked cars and on people's lawns
>All this time I'm telling him to just let me go
>Keep telling him "Do you know how emasculating this is for me, I've never been masculine in my life why are you doing this"
>Keeps telling me to go to his house
>Tell him that I'm not his ragdoll and he can force me to do whatever he wants
>Literally has me in holds where I can't get out(Remember the strength difference)
>Manage to free myself a couple times and tell him I'm gonna call the cops if he doesn't stop and let me leave
>Tries grabbing me and I run to a house and start knocking on a door
>He grabs me and throws me onto the lawn and is putting me in another hold
>Telling him that if he respected as a man and as a human being he would just let me go
>Keeps telling me to go to his house
>I start kinda crying, I felt like the biggest bitch, but fuck I felt so powerless
>Tell him to please stop and to let me go
>He doesn't
Cont.
