Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 319. page
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About to be in my first proper relationship in my life...
Have had plenty of flings but they never went the distance due my fear of commitment.
I'm 22M and she's 26, just looking for any tips to going into a relationship, not really looking to fuck this one up.
>>17294850
don't evolve her too fast it seems like the abilities are good but it fucks up her stat growth
>>17294850
Go down on her as much as you need but as little as she wants.
10 months into my first long relationship and i can tell you that being honest and as natural as possible is the only way possible if you want a serious thing (not from the beginning but try to be open to her as if you were with your best friend), pay attention to her needs but don't become her dog, be on her side and back her up in every context but if you disagree talk about it with her later, don't be a moralist
I've only seen my father one time in my life due to my parents divorce, and that was last year when I made a thread on here asking some of you if I should go visit him over seas, regardless of my moms opinion (she wasn't happy). I wasn't going to go but some of you motivated me to visit my dad and it turns out my father is actually a really nice guy and my mom was wrong about many things.. I was happy I gave him a chance and I'm thankful for the advice some of you have given me last year.. Ever since I met him until last week, my dad and I have been talking a lot and we scheduled to see each other again later on in the year. The issue is my dad passed away recently and I don't know how to cope with it. I am obviously supporting my mother as she is very upset by the death. I just don't know how to feel about the whole situation.. The last time I talked to my dad I wished him happy fathers day for the first time and he couldn't believe it. He was soo happy and it just breaks my heart that my dad tried to provide for me with his limited income and my mom refused to let me accept or even talk to him at times. So I'm just wondering what do I do? Do I sell my gaming set up for a airplane ticket to attend his funeral? I'm not wealthy at all so selling everything including my phone would literally leave me nothing to entertain myself my room would be empty. Thanks for your advice guys. Appreciated as always......
PS. Pardon the broken English, it's not my first language.
>>17294836
how much do you need for the ticket
Gofundme.com
>>17294837
Op here
Flights are anywhere from 1.5k to 2k Canadian dollars.
How do I resist the temptation to eat junk food? I'm talking about candy, chips, soda, and so on.
I automatically eat it whenever I'm bored, depressed, or otherwise in a bad mood. It reliably improves my mood and obviously tastes delicious.
>>17294832
Buy some gum.
>>17294845
The kind with sugar is bad for your teeth, and the kind with sugar substitutes gives me horrible stomach aches.
Drink tap water.
There's a super loud party going on next door. I have no plans of breaking it up or calling the cops. It's a Saturday, so party on.
But I really want to go to sleep. Any tips? Earplugs seem to be causing more of a problem than they're helping since the bass still goes right through them, and I'm not used to wearing them.
Ask them politely to turn the Volume down. Its not like it'll end their party.
Stand up for yourself, man.
>>17294799
call the cops. guess what? the relevance of saturday as party day fades to the entire world after the age of 21 or so. Does it occur to you that other people around might have to work tomorrow?
There is one way to deal with people who disrespect the general life patterns of others callously. You make them stop, however necessary.
>>17294807
I turn 30 in a few weeks and I'm still not going to ruin someone's fucking party you faggot.
Now someone tell me how to get to sleep so some kids next door can make bad decisions and have fun.
>>17294804
This is stupid too.
Fuck.
i have a major life decision coming at me full speed, and i was hoping to get some help with making the right decision on what to do. so:
i'm 19, i currently live in a small town in california. my friend group are all in a band but music was never really my strong suit so we just hang out and i help them with art. anyways, they're all moving down to Los Angeles this fall and they told me there was a spot for me. But i'm currently enrolled in community college for one more year at least, with scholorships and what not. this would be an easy choice, to just stay here and finish up college, if not for my awful step dad, who had wanted me out of the house since i was 16. he said he's going to be drafting up a legal document stating i will pay 600$ a month to live in this bedroom or i leave for good. he said it will be official next june, which is luckily right after i finish next year of college. i work at a retail store and generally make ~$700 a month part-time. my major is graphic design but i love film too, so not sure yet about that.
so my options, as i see them are currently to
>finish next semesters here in lockdown with shitty step dad and family, core friends gone
>rush out right after semester ends to avoid paying insane rent
>jump right into LA life, transfer jobs, apply for colleges there over summer
or
>leave with them this fall, cancel winter classes
>apply to community college in LA
>settle in and start spring semester
OR
>stay here, finish CC
>stay here but move out, find random roommate in my town
>graduate and move to a place of my choice, leave friends forever (i'm honestly not a huge fan of LA, it's hot, humid , insane traffic and it's kinda dangerous)
i've never moved out or anything so i'd love any advice you guys could give me on this decision. if you have any other questions about the situation i'd be happy to answer if it will help the result. thanks
This one is all you, buddy. Nobody can give you advice on this type of crossroads really.
I can give you this advice: college degrees in things like graphic design are 10000% useless. If you want to do an art, pick english as your major and continue doing art while acquiring a useful degree.
Idk what bumblefuck town you live in, but I expect LA should be a step up above in job market and wage compared to where you live. I dont know myself since i live in the east coast, but still, Los Angeles. Check out the opportunities now and see about transferring your credits to a LA CC.
Of course, calculate hard on your budget, rent, potential income and more. Work in restaurant if you can. Tip is great and shift meals eases costs on food
If you love film then LA's the place to be. But you need hustle.
In Canada if you admit to a therapist that you experience suicidal ideation what happens? Are you committed, put on pills, put on a list, or do you just work through it verbally?
Pills and therapy. If you sound dead serious on suicide like "I'm going to kill myself asap" then they'll put you on suicide watch, if that's the kind of list you're talking about?
>>17294783
By actual law and the rules of the profession, everything you say to a therapist stays in the room with only two exceptions. If you convince them that you are an imminent (as in right this minute) threat to yourself or others, they can call the cops. Otherwise everything stays in the room, and the shrink decides (with your agreement) whether talk or meds is best.
>>17294912
Sort of, I'd be worried about losing certain privileges in order to reduce my end of life options down the road if there was no improvement from therapy. I wouldn't want to have my driver's license revoked so that I can't use my car as a method for suicide, for example.
>>17294912
>>17295142
Thank-you.
I need advice so fucking bad guys. 27 virgin here. Started lifting a year ago, got fit by normie standards. Couple months ago I tried making social gains, went on the first dates of life, needless to say it didn't go well, I had no idea what I was doing. Tonight I got match on Tinder, it's an out of town girl who wants to fuck. We meet tomorrow. She's not hot or anything, about average, but whatever, I just want to stop lying and being awkward whenever the topic of sex or virginity is brought up in conversation. I just want to able to fill into my dating profile that I'm not a fucking 27 virgin.
So all well and good right? Well only problem is yesterday I got a girl's number at a bar, I really like her, and we tentatively set a date for tomorrow that she cancelled but she says she does want to go out with me. After the cancellation I got the Tinder match and plans for a one night stand. So basically now instead of going on a date that I was really looking forward to, I'm instead fucking some random girl idgaf about. I'm not a bad person. I don't want to do anything morally wrong. Is this being dishonest, selfish or manipulative?
I know what you're thinking: "No, you haven't even been on a date with this other girl." Would she really see it that way if the relationship developed into something more serious? Please help.
Pic related, it's me.
things dont change when you lose your virginity, you stupid asshole.
a girl who blew you off once is probably going to blow you off again.
don't wait for "the one" to lose your virginity but don't just fuck some random off tinder. Do you understand that you can get herpes with a condom with her showing no signs of it? Does anyone who uses tinder understand this? Herpes is incurable. Do you want to contract an incurable STD on your first time having sex?
No?
Then why the fuck would you have sex with a girl who probably fucks a different guy every day?
PS SHE'S GOING TO EXPECT YOU NOT TO BE A VIRGIN IF YOU'RE SEMI FIT
>>17294791
pretty sure no girl my age is a virgin anymore. pretty sure no girl older than 22 is a virgin anymore unless they are obese or disfigured. check the virgin thread in /soc/. i've never seen a female virgin older than 22 in that thread. so when a girl eventually finds out that im a virgin they get wierded out by it, as they rightfully should be. That will change.
I'm not worried about her thinking I'm not virgin, I know how sex works. If I cum too early or go soft I'll just say that I'm nervous about one night stands.
You are right about the STDs though.
>>17294819
lol bro a girl will be able to tell if you're a virgin from your mechanics, approach, confidence etc. you will be outed. trust me.
The main point i'm trying to make is it doesn't matter when you lose your virginity. for fucks sake. you will have sex and be like "oh it's just a thing that happens sometimes"
I'm going to say just avoid tinder cocksluts dude. just as a general advice on life.
just because you can doesn't mean you should. tinder is resulting in fucking statistically significant increases in STDs in young people. Not shitting you.
People that just go fuck anybody are LOW people. you are a HIGH person.
Just listing some things so that maybe someone might be able to help with one or some of my problems
1. I'm practically out of motivation to do anything anymore. I'm only 20 years old, have a 20-35 hour a week job on top of going to school part time majoring in something retarded but chose because I enjoy it and living at home. Even this relatively sedentary lifestyle is wearing me the fuck out, I couldn't imagine working more and having to life on my own, paying my own bills and taking care of myself. I know that makes me a fucking leech and a bum but I don't see much to look forward to
2. I literally cannot enjoy anything anymore just because of how retardedly obsessive I am about having to be good at something. Video games are my only hobby and I rarely play them and have fun, I usually just use them as a means to fill time because I consider it "leisure" and would rather put off doing something productive. Either way I'd be having a shit time. I tried fencing as a class during the Spring semester and enjoyed it but don't have the time or money to join a legitimate fencing club or purchase equipment for it.
3. I am physically incapable of having sex and that weighs pretty heavily on me. I've nearly had sex on 3-4 different occasions only for me to get too nervous to perform. Rather than attempt to date anymore, I'm too afraid of building up a romantic relationship with a woman only for it to come to a head with fucking (as most relationships do), only for me to fuck up and tear the whole thing down. Don't get me wrong, I love everything about dating but I'm too fucking scared of embarrassing myself again just to have everything I might work for evaporate. On the flip side, I really wish I could just fuck just to say I did it so that I could claim some degree of normalcy so that I wouldn't have to feel like a dysfunctional virgin loser all the time.
/blog, would appreciate some advice
look in the catalog and look how many posts there are here that are basically carbon copies. that are getting no reply
post about one thing you need advice on, don't write a blog how your life sucks and then ask /adv/ to fix you. retard.
Cant you be easier on yourself? Is there any reason you need to be good at anything.
You need a sense of urgency and you need to learn how to work. Join the conservation corps or a branch of the army
Have you ever been doing sex with a girl when she asks you to do her more but you're already doing her the most that you can? How do you handle it?
-Pull her hair
-Talk dirty (you're my little slut, your pussy is soaking wet for my cock, isn't it?, take my dick in your hot tight cunt)
-Spank her (hard, you pussy)
-grab her hard, bite her
-change positions forcibly, you must be the dominant one
-Make her your bitch etc
Every woman wants to be fucked rough by a masculine man, it's why so many sexually frustrated feminists exist. Women were meant to be submissive in sex
Men are pussies today
>>17294942
Idk I'm a virgin but these all seem good
>>17294942
This.
Every woman wants to be controlled and treated like a plaything, it really turns them on.
Hey /adv/ how can I find a girl that is good for me?
I have tried looking around for a long while but can't seem to find anybody.
I think one of my biggest issues is that I wait for girls to make a move first.
Looking for a girlfriend that is sweet, talented at something, likes video games, and likes nature.
It's almost fucking impossible for me, so many of my friends are getting into serious relatiomships and I still haven't. Fuck I need to do something.
Please try. Overcome your fear of failure.
>>17294762
That is one issue, fear of failure.
I just don't know where to look, not sure if any girls are interested in me.
>>17294776
is there any reason for anyone to be interested in you?
no?
then start looking there.
so yeah I basically hate everything about myself, any reason not to off myself? Does it get better? The only time i feel any better is with drugs (so far just weed, wanna try xanax too) but I don't wanna get hooked on drugs I guess.
>>17294651
Same but booze is what fixes me temporarily
Call me back when you find a solution
What do you hate anon?
>>17294809
EVERYTHING
MAHSELF
THE CONCEPT OF LIFE
THE POINTLESSNESS OF IT ALL
MY TITS (AND I'M A man)
MY BOOGIE SIZED BODY
MY GF MAKING OUT WITH SEVERAL GUYS IN FRONT OF ME
DARKNESS
SUNSHINE
MEMES!
So me and the fiance have been together for 6 years now. We started dating as teens and now both almost in our mid 20s. Everything about our relationship is ALMOST perfect. He is sweet, funny, and always thinking of me.
But he is just..so feminine. Its terrible. We even make jokes about how reverse rolled we are. He is passive aggressive, emotional, and indecisive. It makes being sexually attracted to him impossible.
When we first started dating it was great. He was charasmatic, funny, and didnt give two shits about what anyone thought. I found it so hopelessly attractive. Its what made me love him in the first place.
But after a year of bliss his depression worsened and now our sex life is a shell of what it used to be for five years now. No interests, no friends, and a job he CONSTANTLY complains about.
We tried pills and therapy, but he is resistant to stick with either since he also has PTSD and doesnt want to work through terrible childhood events from his past. I keep telling him to go to the doctor to get pills, but he just seems completely disinterested in it? Like he doesnt even want to try. I gave up.
I feel like shit for thinking about my sex life when he is dealing with this, but its hard not too when he asks why we dont have much sex anymore? I dont really know what to tell him. The last thing i want is to hurt his already miniscule ego.
I love being dominated in bed and have kinks of my own, but he is so painfully vanilla now due to his insane list of insecurities, which our no sex life has only made worse. I have done plenty for him but ive gotten no effort in return aside from a "hey wanna fuck??"
When he forces himself to try anything and feigns confidence its so obvious..its almost cringey! Its so awkward!!
I dont know what to do. I have been by his side trying to help this for years, since every other aspect is great, but i dont want to marry someone who wont even try to fix out sex life. I dont want to stop sex in my 20s.
What do?
>>17294634
End it.
>my feminine boyfriend has PTSD from when he got served a skim latte instead of a soy latte
>cringey
>>17294634
>I love being dominated in bed
My boyfriend is mentally ill, and I don't know how to get him to seek help. He has managed it all on his own better than one would expect considering how sick he is, but hes getting worse and I don't know what to do. His parents are no help, he still lives at home and he has managed to hide how sick he is from them, even though they've witnessed some of his... incidences. I think its because as soon as they get home from work they just smoke pot and watch TV, they even were oblivious to fact he was a pretty hardcore alcoholic for 3 years. Hes attempted suicide in the past, and has developed really strange behaviours. Hes obsessed with fidgetting and clicking, pens, small pieces of plastic. He keeps buying art supplies he never uses and buying box cutters, when he listens to music, he replays the same song over and over before switching to a different one, for the past three days its been I took a pill in Ibiza, and I can hear it through his headphones, its really annoying. I don't know what to do for him, because not many people know the side to him I know... all of his coworkers think hes the happiest, most optimistic upbeat guy ever, and for the most part he acts like it around me and his parents and his friends, but I've seen what lies under his happy act... its very dark and depressing, hes broken and sad and I just want to help him, I don't know how to help him, I've contemplated confronting his parents but I think that might make his homelife worse than it is. What do I do?
>>17294607
>What do I do?
Leave and find a sane guy.
There's just nothing you can do here, really.
Your boyfriend is a high functioning autistic.
But what do I know, this is 4Chan not a psychiatric hospital. Get him an appointment.
Please videotape your suggestion, though. I kinda want to see him sperg out and count the microseconds it takes you to fold.
>>17294623
This. You can't change people. I can't even get my girlfriend to lock the front door every time she comes home. You think you can change a mental illness? Never gonna happen.
I will admit a lot of things in this thread /adv/.. but if I admit them, I am going to need your help to get over them.
I will admit, I am a incredibly bitter person. I am super bitter about how easy it is for women to get dates, have relationships, live life. Sometimes even free of any real suffering. Really bitter. I am 26 and have had zero girlfriends. I talked to a woman aged 24 who I thought seemed meekish and it turns out she has had like 4-5 boyfriends..
I don't mind them having boyfriends in the past, what kills me is that I know I probably can't keep the attention of the female without pity.
I just cannot match up to those other dudes with all the shit.
I am also really bitter about people who are happy. I hate seeing and hearing kids laugh. I hate people who are in their 20's and have kids. It seems like a full retard idea to have a kid in your 20's.
I just want to be free of bitterness. Is there any hope? How do I stop being bitter?
I just feel like my life is ass compared to the lives of women. Being a below average-average male male is complete turds.
>>17294578
>>>/tumblr/
>I don't mind them having boyfriends in the past
>I talked to a woman aged 24 who I thought seemed meekish and it turns out she has had like 4-5 boyfriends..
Pick one.
>I've put forth zero effort during my whole decade of puberty
>Everyone else having an easier time at this then I am
>Clearly, the cards are stacked against me
lol don't come in here whining like that and then tell us you're willing to change. We both know that's horseshit. Enjoy settling for a single mother of 2.
I like a girl. She's shy as fuck and never experienced a relationship.
Surely has experienced a heartbreak of not receiving attraction from her crush, but never a genuine relationship.
I too am a shy fuck who's never had a gf. However I have physical features at my advantage. I'm tall (6'3), not overweight, and no neckbeard.
How do I approach her in a way I can escalate things into a relationship? We met in class first semester of 2015 and that was the last time we saw each other irl. However, we do talk online in essay-long messages. I'm sure she's interested in me and I had just asked her out.
So again, how do I escalate things when we meet again in person?
Bump
In a similar situation
Alright you social retards, I'd suggest going googling nick notas's website right now. Don't be a robot, and just go with the flow. High risks=high rewards, low risks=no pussy. Being respectful is key overall for shy girls
>>17294576
Dude just talk to her. That's it.
