Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 283. page
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Hey all
So I completed all coursework for an undergraduate degree in music, and I haven't applied for graduation yet. My original plan when starting college was to double-major in music performance and engineering, though music at my school is one of those degrees that if you're doing it, you're doing only that. I'm applying for my second degree now, so when I finally graduate, I'll be listed as a double major, though I'll be taking courses for only one degree.
In applying for my FAFSA, since I still have close to $30K left in financial aid, how would I list my degree/certification that I am pursuing for the 2016-2017 year? My first two choices available are '1st Bachelors Degree' and '2nd Bachelors Degree'. Since I haven't actually graduated, would this still count for my first, or is it now my second?
tl;dr
Beginning a new major after completing all coursework for the first, how do I list my degree, as my 1st or 2nd? Looking to get as much financial aid as possible.
>>17303385
And to continue the first thought - I'm trying to decide if it would be more economical in terms in aid and overall price if I were to pursue another undergraduate degree vs just going for a masters.
My initial thought is that a masters degree in a field I have little/no prior experience might have me in so many undergraduate courses, that it would be the same to just take the undergraduate degree, coupled with a masters degree receiving less financial aid. The alternative is that I'd have a masters degree by the end of it all, which is nice.
Anyone? Or should I post about my feelings instead?
>>17303385
It'd probably say second if I were filling out thee form. Ask a counselor or something at your school.
is it acceptable to complement a girl's boobs after she's sent you a selfie on Snapchat? I did this to my tinder match a couple of days ago and while she's still replying, I have this niggling feeling that I've done goof'd. We've spoken on the phone about such issues as virginity and how great she'd look in a thing/stockings in the past.
>>17303316
it really depends on the girl. generally speaking its not considered acceptable but plenty of girls dont mind. it depends on the nature of your relationship. sometimes its okay and sometimes its not cuz if you have been TOO Sexual or shes just not in the mood atm, she can get pissy. ima dude and even i get pissy when someone brings it back to sex all the time.
Since you met her on tinder it's probably fine.
>>17303327
>t depends on the nature of your relationship
This
But this is tinder so it's ok.
If it's not, who gives a fuck, just another tinder match :/
Don't sweat it.
So my fiancée and I are finally able to live together again after a long time in a LDR because of school, and therefore now able to have sex again. Here's where we have a problem.
I'm too big for her. We spend about an hour of foreplay then another 30min trying to go in, and when I finally make it in she's in great pain.
How do we fix this? Any suggestions are welcome.
>>17303297
how old is she? Becuase your post sounds very pedo.
I'm large as fk, senpai. I've never not been able to get it in. even if she winces a bit at first, no matter what it lubes itself up and feels good for her, even if she's sore through tomorrow.
>>17303309
Lol sorry, she's 26, 3 years older than me.
To add more info, we have had more success in the past (like 3 years ago), but it was still a huge pain in the ass. But now it feels like it's much more difficult than it used to be.
Also we were both virgins before dating each other. So it may just be that we don't know what we are doing. I am big though, so that is most likely a contributing factor.
>>17303320
Maybe she had a medical issue? Just tell her to go to a gyno just in case.
I'm 28 years old and I have a fear of driving. I just feel like I KNOW that I'll kill myself or someone on the road, but I need to learn how. How do I conquer my fear of driving and start learning?
>>17303267
do it anyways. get someone to go with you and walk you through it in an empty parking lot.
>>17303270
What do I do after I get used to driving around in a parking lot?
>>17303276
move on to backstreets then to suburbs than on to busier and busier streets.
trust me i felt the same way. we all did. but you get used to it pretty fast.
Post problems have with girls,
Be me 20, so many girls that appeal to me on some sort of level in college I know i want a girlfriend, can't tell for sure who it is I want ,I approached two girls this year at college that i thought i liked but turns out I dnt really like them at all .seeing other girls that are attractive and or showing signs of attraction to me got my head in a twist thinkn wat if Im not happy and like someone else instead like her what if there was another girl around the corner.Girl hot as hell constantlyl giving me the call for attention can hear her talking about me to her friends when I'm nearby , they all smiling at me it's so bloody obvious i know for fact she fancies me has been going with a guy for a while now tho they had problems she is marked single on Facebook but has her bf name and heart on her instagram like wth, she walks by me often stared straight into my eyes on the stairs blushing and I just look away cuz I know she has a boyfriend and I happen to use to be friends with him. And I'm like wtf should I do here should I approach her and wat if she just an attention whore. Wat does she want , why won't she break up with him if they have issues and had 'breaks'.
>be me
>tfw no qt gf
>be me
>foreveralone
I've came up with thought that I am very indecisive and therefore don't know what the hell I want at all in life
Hey /adv/, my boyfriend and I have been having more arguments than usual for the past couple of weeks but every time, like the next day when we've already made up he brings it up, but not to resolve anything, just to say that I look cute when I'm mad at him and that my dirty looks are "adorable"
We never yell at each other but one time I started to tear up a bit in the middle of an argument and the next day he told me that seeing me like that gave him a hard on.
I'm now starting to think he does things that bother me on purpose, like being late to everything, cancelling plans, groping me in public (which I don't mind, but it makes me a little uncomfortable if we're around other people) and him asking for sex, bj, hand jobs in the car when he knows that I don't like doing stuff in public.
I just want us to be okay but the things he does eventually get to me, and I don't know what to do, I think he'd be offended if I asked him if he's doing it on purpose...
>>17303246
You kind of do have to tell him straight-up if it really bothers you. Your only other choices are just dealing with it (which presumably won't work for long and you'll just blow up on him eventually), or doing some petty shit like ignoring him, which won't help at all.
You should give him some slack with it, but figure out what is specifically bothering you the most and talk to him about that. But he shouldn't really get too angry even if you ask him specifically about whether or not he gets into arguments with you just for the sake of it, at least I wouldn't, if he's a moron, he might.
>>17303246
I don't know, he sounds really horn and immature but I will say whenever my ex used to start crying or is hear him tearing up I'd start getting a raging hard on and I don't know why.
>>17303246
He's cheating and he feels remorse (that's where the anger is coming from)
>showing pics of my younger/high school self to my gf
>she's always been really shy about showing hers and has to dig them up; they're not on Facebook or anything like that
>be really insistent since I'm curious, this time she gives in since I had shown her my pictures
>forgot that she used to have a skin disease when she was younger
>she legitimately looked like a nuclear victim back then
>had to delete them from chat history because I didn't want to see them again; they were that disturbing
>couldn't even bring myself to say that they were cute pictures
>get into a fight because of this
This is entirely my fault. How do I make things better?
How did you get into a fight? What did you do wrong? Its not your fault she had a skin disease.
Jesus it's like some people actively seek out any excuse just to wail on each other.
>>17303240
not much you can do. maybe sit down and say it just makes you so sad knowing that such a beautiful person had to go through something so sad. it makes you sad to think that if she didnt get cured you might have been to shallow to get to know the most wonderful person you ever met.
something like that. word it rightly.
>>17303240
Remind her that she's a smooth skin now, and that's what counts.
Needing some /adv/ right now, guys.
I won't get too into the things that led to this, but my ex of 2 years left me a couple of months ago when my depression had got out of control. I was extremely lonely in the wake of the break up and was hardly able to hold on. Finished uni and finally moved to the city we had been waiting to live in together for the majority of our relationship (was primarily long distance), but had to change all my plans going forward, especially because within a short period of time after our separation, a number of friends who I've known since I was just a kid decided to completely cut me off as they became closer to her.
This has been really hard but I recently discovered that all this time, the guy who was my "best friend" for years has been helping to facilitate a new relationship with a guy I know who my former friend legitimately idolizes.
They're seeing each other now, and while I know it's more a matter of spite and loneliness that's led her to this/that it won't be significant, it makes me so unbelievably angry that I can't focus on anything but the thought of physically harming them. It scares me how overwhelmed I feel with these feelings of wanting to hurt them.
I don't care about her at all anymore, and frankly, she disgusts me, but I feel such an unrest over this betrayal that I don't think will be helped unless I do something I may come to regret.
How do I get over this feeling of wanting to use violence against people who have hurt me?
Anon, i think we are the same person from different dimensions. THE VERY SAME happened to me. She broke up with me, best friend didn't do shit to hold us together, they are now friends and i don't have contact with him anymore.
Other "friends" are closer to her and cut me off as well.
What i'vr been doing is ignore their existence and cut them off for good and at all.
They will prob one day talk to me again in some opportunity, and i will just pretend i never knew them. This hurts as hell, it hurts more bcs i still love her but all the people who called me a friend didn't even asked if i was okay, ever.
Just get over it. Giving attention is the worst case scenario.
Harming them can prob get you in trouble maybe, so, avoid fucking your life more and just live the rest of it.
Enjoy what the single life has to offer.
Also, focus on fixing and analysing other relation to people who call you a friend. So this won't happen again.
Play vydia, watch movies and help other people here on /adv/ while in pain. Just forget about them since they aren't worth shit.
I'm with you anon.
>>17303265
>>17303265
Thanks, anon. I know this is the right thing to do but I literally can't shake this feeling. It comes in waves and completely overwhelms me. I actually ran into most of them at an art event a week ago and had I not been invited by the curator, I would have done something horrible. I left and calmed down, but it upset me to know the power she has over me. Just seeing her crushed me, but being around the two particular guys caught up in this absolutely drove me nuts. I can avoid thinking about it and focusing on other things, but I know exactly how I'll react if I see them again, and it scares me. I don't know if I have it in me to not confront anyone.
Anyone experience similar situation where they actually acted upon this? When I'm calm and sensible I realize that the consequences can be extreme, but when I've been angry about it I have zero care over what happens as result.
How do I develop human emotions?
>>17303217
You have feelings, snowflake, you're just not showing them outwardly.
>>17303219
Yes, I know that, dipshit. How do I express them outwardly? And not the bad ones.
You have feelings, you just have a hard time recognizing them. Start naming your feelings. Like "I feel sad" and said it out loud, or when you're happy "I feel happy." The more you name your feelings the easier it is to process them. "I'm lonely", "I feel loved right now" etc. You can even keep a journal and you'll get better at it.
source: had a psychologist when I was a kid that had me to do this. I'm still a mental case but I can feel now at least.
Long distance relationship, 500km, 7months.
I visited her once, she did it once too. I want her to come at least 2 times for each time that I go, because we have little to no space/time to actually spend time together/alone in her family's house on the weekends that I would go, because the family is always in the house and they won't let us getting alone.
Here we have the house and my car for ourselves, I also said that we would still spend the same amount of money on traveling(that is, she wouldn't spend 2 times more). But she is reluctant... its a pretty big deal to me, am I being selfish to think like this?
LDR haters pls go, I know its shit but i didn't ask for this, I had to move out of city after we started dating and we are willing to continue.
>>17303216
Only 500 km? I drive that for two days of work. Unless you're still in highschool or extremely busy all of the time it shouldn't be that hard to see each other that often.
Had a gf that lived 300km from me, had to take train about once or twice every 2 months to meet her.
I think you could help pay for her if she is reluctant about how much she has to pay. Especially since it's your idea and you seemingly want that more.
Good luck with your relationship man :)
>>17303216
>LDR haters pls go, I know its shit but i didn't ask for this, I had to move out of city after we started dating and we are willing to continue
Well since you said that I won't criticize.
Hi guys, i posted here before about my girlfriend from china who came to visit me in canada.
we've been together for 3 years. i visited her in china for about half of that. we had a very emotional goodbye in china, then spent 8 months being separated which was tough, now we got lucky and got her a visitor visa to canada which allows her to stay for 6 months (1 year if extended)
we originally planned on getting her a permanent resident visa while shes here, which would allow her to stay here permanently and work/study/do business with freedom of traveling between the two countries
however requires her to stay here for a year. shes only been here for a month, and she has been homesick already. she told me several times that she misses her parents and friends and feel bored not doing any work.
i love her very very much but i dont want her to be like this. should i buy her a ticket to go home soon? this might mean that we'll see each other again
OP here, i meant to say this might mean we'lll never see each other again
That's a pretty rough situation.
Does she have any reason to be there other than you? If she plans on starting any sort of career there or staying long term for anything else it you'll just be prolonging the problem by sending her back. It might even make it harder for her the next time she comes back. There's no point in that.
On the other hand, if you're the only reason then she has to decide who's more important.
>>17303221
she can't work here until we apply for the permanent visa which will take 11 months from now.
she thought about starting some career here but has no solid plans.
basically she thinks of this place as “ok”, but really likes her home in china. without me, she would have 0 consideration staying here
So there's this girl I like, that sometimes seems to be into me, sometimes not.
Me and my friends had planned a weekend long summer party and I invited her to join. She accepted it, every time she got drunk she would start kissing, caressing etc. etc. We talked about us, it's been kind of building up for quite a bit now and she would be into it when we had a few drinks, but she would completely ignore it and act kind of bitchy the next morning.
Now that the weekend has ended she either refuses to talk to me or answers kind of angrily. She even suggested we don't talk for the week, but then kept explaining that it was a joke after I confronted her on that.
What the fuck is going on? My guess is she regrets advancing and escalating things between us, even though she did it on separate occasions, separate days etc? I asked her if we will just ignore it and she said no but she does not want to rush anything.
It's time to bail, OP.
>>17303239
How come?
>>17303303
Because she repeatedly makes decisions she regrets. How do you think that will play into a relationship?
>raining hard
>see qt girl on side of road walking
>think about offering her a ride for a second
>kept driving b/c autism and i thought it was kinda funny to just drive past her
Would that have been creepy?
>>17303182
if you are unattractive, yes, it would be creepy
>>17303187
lmao, this.
As long as you aren't ugly and your car isnt a shit hole she would probably be fine.
I've talked to a lot of girls recently, but all of them stop talking to me after a day or two of conversation. I've grown used to it by now, but I'd like to change that. Am I supposed to have fun interests or something? I have no idea. Any help would be appreciated
Its not working because you two don't have chemistry. It might feel like it at first but it's just because the two of you might find each other mildly amusing/attractive Once you find a girl you click with it will be fine.
>>17303248
mostly this. you dont need to be interesting outside of how you interact with that person.
no one really cares about your hobbies or your job or anything like that unless it relates to them. otherwise its just small talk and that gets boring the second time you bring it up.
you as a person, should be able to maintain conversation just by enjoying 'shooting the shit' with someone. if it was a 'who is the most interesting' contest no one would have any friends. cuz were mostly the same.
its not just guys who go surfing and ziplining who get girls.
>>17303178
Do stupid shit that is interesting.
Literally had a girl start to crush because she saw a video of me on ig eating glue. Didn't even know her kek
Do we as people have an obligation to our future children to find the best possible mate to give then the best genetics possible? In other words, is it morally wrong to 'settle' for someone physically for a person we plan to raise a family with?
No, it's not morally wrong because you don't have all eternity for your search. If you refuse to have kids altogether because of your standards, the next generation will be from people who had their standards lower.
>>17303157
Life is random and meaningless, and evolution doesn't care about your happiness.
The most moral decision is to have no children at all, because you're creating a conscious life, and gambling on it having a good life (In todays world, no less).
You are solely morally responsible for all the shit that happens to it. (Personality is genetic, too, so even if they just suck as a person, it came from you or the other parent).
But as far as the universe itself is concerned, the only obligation is any is that your child is at least good enough to stay alive and copy itself eventually, even if it impregnates a hooker.
>>17303157
You can not know what the best genetics are. You settle with someone you would like to spend the rest of your lifes with and everything that comes with it, this includes you thinking this person will be as good with their children as they are with you.
Also not everybody thinks only of their child, some people with fucked up genetic diseases have kids knowing they can fuck them, others choose to not have kids since they would not want to have their children suffering the way they did.
