Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 265. page
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Emotionally unavailable girl I've been involved with for 5 months has finally pushed me to my limit. She's been very hot and cold with me, st the beginning she was a dick but I kind of didn't take it seriously anyway, then we started to like each other and as we got closer she'd have these moments where she'd self-destruct. She'll create an argument out of nothing. She told me.she had a bad experience with a guy and both her parents passed away around that time so it's fucked her up since. Anyways I told her to stop blocking me and fucking off every time things get intimate. She did not listen so I'm leaving her. She intentionally pushes away when we get close, it's difficult to keep dealing with that. kind of sucks but this is the right thing to do r-right g-guys
>>17306196
You can't love her if she doesn't love herself anon. Let it go.
>>17306196
>as we got closer she'd have these moments where she'd self-destruct. She'll create an argument out of nothing
Sounds like a shit test, most young women do that. They test you to see how you handle them being cunts. All you have to do is sit back and let them flip their shit and then a day or two later they'll come back to normal and you'll have passed the test. Don't blame the women for it, they don't have control over it. I've had three gfs and all have shittested, it's not a meme.
As far as the rest of it, listen to >>17306232 ... she probably has some mental issues and not worth being around a mindfuck like that.
>>17306251
What's this supposed to test???
Terminally ill and can't stop thinking about old memories and can't stop crying
Fucking help how do people deal with this death timer
How long do you have, what's your illness?
And I'm afraid, generally people don't deal with it very well. They are afraid, and they cry, and they beg, and then they die. That's how it goes.
Do shit you love and live to the fullest while you can senpai
Use your time instead of wasting it on the past.
Visit a place you've always wanted to go. Max out as many credit cards as you can, be as giving to others as you can and enjoy your life.
No excuses
I hate living like this. I can't attract women normally. In fact, I don't think I can attract women at all. My friends tell me I always seem desperate and tense.
I hate when people say that. If you told a man who spent a week in a desert to stop being desperate for water... Wouldn't that seem silly?
That's how it feels for me. One dude is telling me to stop being desperate but he has a Brazilian model girlfriend! Fuck!
Anyway, how do I get help to change my demeanor. I am without a doubt desperate as fuck but not desperate enough to date obese women or single moms.
What do women think of desperate dudes?
First. It doesn't sound like you're in the position to be making preferences champ. Second. The majority of us women think desperate men are annoying and not sexy at all. However there could be the occasional rare woman that might find it cute. Third. With that being said. CONFIDENCE. Confidence is sexy. So get a better view of yourself before you get out there. Gotta love yourself first
>>17306164
Literally the only two preferences I have is that the woman not be obese or have kids already.... Women have a laundry list of preferences for men.
Also, confidence is... Okay I guess but I see it as a delusion. confidence feels like you are lying to yourself. There is always someone bigger and badder than you.
When you're desperate, it doesn't offer the other person security in the relationship. They won't feel like you want to be with THEM, they'll feel like you just want a relationship with anyone, and they just happened to be a person available. And if someone else enters the picture, you're seen as just as likely to go for them because you care more about having a relationship than the individual person.
That's why being desperate is a red flag.
When is it appropriate to hit people? If they offend you? Insult you? Attack you? Attack a friend?
When they're physically threatening you/someone you care about. You don't get to hit people and have a tantrum because they said something that hurt your feels. You can be angry, you're supposed to have some level of control over your actions though.
>>17306023
Whatever happened to "talk shit, get hit"?
>>17306025
We became adults and gained some self control and responsibility.
Started my period at 8 nothing out of the weird there,"Be regular", "keep track so you won't be surprised", and my favorite "always carry extra supplies" but I never got the concept that something like that could sneak up on someone.
Later down the road I was asked how often I bleed "like once maybe twice always year". Got pulled to the principals office big investigation over if I was abused, how, and why I didn't tell anyone.
"I'm not abused"
After After a few months they drop it.
Years go by only a few friends know I've been "gifted" only bleeding at most twice twice a year. I played sports and just lived my life.
4 years ago something happened. I woke up with an awful headache and I was pooled in blood started freaking out that in got stabbed and slept through it (?). I went to the my PCP and she yelled at me for not telling her that I don't bleed. Sent me to a specialist who told me i can't have children. Whatever i don't like kids. Never explained the blood or why I can't have kids.
A year later headache again. Blood again. Literally peeing black from all the blood. Go to ER. I do a lot of testing and scans. They tell me that obviously there its blood In my urine but they can't figure it out and think i should just go home. Went home to tired to fight.
I now get very very ill about every 3-4 months. Fever, vomiting, joints aching, blood vessels bursting all over my eyes, skin turns red and puffy.
I have been to so many doctors and come up empty I'm so tired guys. My poor husband is so stressed and I don't want him to be that way anymore. He takes such good care of me.
Please. Can someone tell me what is going on.
>>17305434
RN student here. Sounds like something is going on with your Fallopian tubes/uterus not being able to properly function. Have they looked for endometriosis at any point? Hormone imbalance can have a role as well
>>17305438
Sadly yes. Everything came back fine/normal.
>>17305446
Have you done any CT or MRI?
I typically have cystic acne like this, however, this one in particular has been much more persistent than usual. It secretes slightly (only upon touch) and has a strange smell. I have access to some prescription-grade topicals, but wanted to know if there was a more immediate solution (besides popping because fuck acne scars).
I've always practiced good hygiene. Have done two full treatments of Accutane, had endocrine shots done 2 years ago to prevent flare ups and fight scarring, used a multitude of topicals (many to no effect) and simply want this fucker gone. Please /adv/ise.
well you could grow your beard out for another year and it'll be so thick you wont be able to see that shit at all
>>17304838
You said it secretes fluid sometimes right? Next time it does that, DRAIN it. If it's already leaking, squeeze the rest of the infection out, wash it, and apply rubbing alcohol (it will burn) to kill the bacteria
>>17304845
Tried that. It hides it, sure, but it further promotes cystic growths in the area. I've had better luck keeping the beard short compared to long.
Before it becomes a red flag for women? I'm 23 and my count is 45...
>inb4 humble brag
>inb4 bait
45 relationships? Or 45 girls?
Don't count ONS or hook ups. Count actual relationships.
>>17303481
45 girls. 1 relationship (2+ years), 1 3-month fling and the rest were ONS
>>17303477
If OP was a woman, he would have 100 replies of slut shaming by now.
Yes, 45 is a red flag. It's a sign that you're just in it for the pump and dump.
I had a one night stand with a girl two months ago. The condom broke but she said she was on the shot. She was still living with her bf. Both of them either do drugs or are sobering up on Suboxone/Methodone.
I met her last night and she said she was 9 weeks pregnant and the timing indicated conception to around the time we did it. She thinks it's her boyfriend's but she told me he is impotent because of the methadone.
It's been hard to get a hold of her since they got evicted out of the house they were living in. She has a long history of drug abuse and so does he and I don't think they are capable of taking care of themselves. Her one friend even said she has been walking the streets...
I did now know who she was when we dated. And I don't think she's going to follow through with the abortion because she thinks it's her boyfriend's kid. But I'm pretty sure it's mine. If she does have the baby, I would obviously want sole custody.
It is not the baby I am worried about but the fact they these two will use it for a paycheck. They will appear to have cleaned up. I am not ready to be a father but if I have to, I will step up my game. I regret my decision and feel like a dumb-ass for believing her lies. At this point I am only worried about custody.
Ignore the bitch, say you never fucked her and she's a desperate junkie looking for a payout.
>>17307894
But what about DNA testing? She has had two kids from a previous relationship that she said she gave up. Either that or they were taken from her. What are my chances for custody since I am a guy?
>>17307903
Why do you want custody of what will most likely be some type of crackbaby?
Why not just talk her into giving it up then, offer her like $500 to sign some papers.
To smash or not to smash
So my ex girlfriend and I had a short, mediocre relationship followed by a slow decline. I didn't see much in her and ended up taking my friend's advice that "if you don't feel like texting her back, just don't". She asked me if I wanted to meet up today (a year and a half later) while she's in town from college. I agreed and it might have been a pretty big mistake.
I told her straight up I wasn't really looking for anything at the moment. I'm focusing on moving and building up my future so I really shouldn't get involved with anyone. I expected her to just want to hook up but that wasn't the case. She told me straight up that she really likes talking to me, reintroduced me to her dad and kissed me at the end. She told me how disappointed she was that I had to go and how bad she feels about what happened and said I'm such a great guy and didn't deserve it.
She is clearly waaaaay more into this than I am. She wants to meet up again tonight (got it as I was posting this) to fug but I don't want this to go any further than that.
I don't want her to get her hopes up for something I'm not down for but she and I are both DTF and I'm in a bit of a dry spell since I abstained from dating for a while. What do I do?
Out of curiosity, how did your relationship end?
>>17307876
We had a spat after she stood me up for a date, she stonewalled me for a while, she started talking again, I eventually decided I didn't really want to anymore so I ghosted.
Eh. It's up to you. She's not just going to go at it for a few days, then be fine with you walking off though. She's looking for emotional commitment.
It might go well for a while, but you'll inevitably run into the same issue again.
>meet girl on POF
>8/10 looks
>talk for about a week
>7/10 personality
>we decide to meet up Monday night to meet in person
>text her Monday morning-ish
>"where do you want to meet up? "
>no response
>don't hear anything from her for 2 days
>text her this afternoon to see if there is anything left to pursue
>she responds like normal
>doesn't even mention Monday
What's going on? I don't bother her with texts and she usually texts me first. Did she get nervous? I'm a pretty logical guy but even I don't understand
Maybe she was really nervous? Or just lost interest?
IF you're a girl you flake it's what you do
IF you sign up for Geico you can save upto 60% on car insurance it's what you do
Do this OP:
Ask her to meet again. If she flakes this time, quit wasting your time and just stop talking to her completely. You barely know this person to be getting attached after a week, there are a couple of scenarios in play here:
a) She could not be the girl in the pictures on POF
b) She could be the girl but she has some form of deformity and is ashamed of going out in public and you seeing it
c) She could just be using you as an emotional boyfriend to pour out all her feelings about, she has no actual interest in meeting you one on one, just wants an e-bf (yes this happens a lot more than you think)
You say you're a pretty logical guy so I'll take your word for it, set up another meeting, if the same scenario happens do what's best for you and get out ASAP. Trust me on this one.
>>17307849
That seems like a sensible plan. Thanks Anon, I shall heed your words
Hey how should I handle a friend who tried to hit on my gf?
>at the club with friends and gf for gf's birthday
>notice friend being kinda touchy with gf (hugging a lot, etc)
>Forget about it as he's 5'5 and my gf is taller than him, just assume he's drunk
>next day gf says while I was in the bathroom/smoking a cigarette the 5'5 friend bought her 3 drinks and talked shit about me
>saying things like "why do you go out with him" "you're out of his league" "what do you see in him" "he's so gay" etc etc, also said he kissed her on cheek
What do I do about this /adv/? I've never had a good friend pull something like this, even in college. We share a lot of mutual friends and he invited me to a house party on the 4th. Should I just ghost him, beat his ass, or confront him?
>>17307779
He isn't a good friend if he is pulling shit like this. I'd confront him about it and if he's denying it then I'd cut him off. Conversely, is your gf making it up?
>>17307779
I wouldn't make a big deal about it. If you trust your gf you wouldn't worry too much about it. As for him, he clearly isn't a friend. Just stop treating him like one and he'll just fade away. If your gf keeps telling him off then he'll get the idea.
I hate situations like these. Honestly there isn't any really good way to handle them other than don't antagonize the douchebag because then he'll want revenge and try harder. Whereas if the girl says fuck off he'll just be like "stupid bitch, imma go fuck my sex sock puppet doll"
>>17307779
Beat his ass. Make sure to do it in front of your gf. Women are attracted to brute alphas. Your Gf will be throwing ass at you for the next year breh
Hi /adv/,
My girlfriend has severe anxiety, depression, and PTSD. She has been extremely suicidal lately (and not in a meme way), and I'm beginning to wonder how to handle it. She told me she is debating admitting herself to a psych. ward because she feels that is, at this point, her only option. She saw a counselor in the past and it was of little help to her.
So I guess my question is: have any of you been to the psych. ward before? What should she expect? As someone with these issues, do you think this is the best/only option?
If you've been in a similar scenario or know anyone who has, I'd appreciate your input. We have been together for years and it's really beginning to worry me. I think she is finally ready to seek help, I just hope it doesn't backfire.
Pls help
>>17307769
>My girlfriend
>>17307769
I question girls and PTSD. What happened to her?
>>17307792
She was raped multiple times. Violently. It's legitimate PTSD. Certain "'"triggers""" make her absolutely lose it.
Hey /adv/, I dont know how yall do things here because i normally browse /fit/ but this is the best place for my question.
Here goes: I need to break up with my girlfriend. I havent been happy in months, and ive considered it multiple times. I moved to a different state recently and I found a new girl and I have decided it is time, and im just going to break up with my current girlfriend.
The issue is that i have no idea how to do it. I feel like I need to tell her the reason for the break up (my unhappiness in the relationship, not the new girl. Thats purely coincidental), but I dont want to villainize her or just shit on her.
So I guess my question is, how do I breakup with her, while maintaining tact and dignity, over the phone?
>>17307709
"Hey x its y, I'm interested in Nubian Python now and I think I really need to explore the depths of my own homosexual depravity"
>>17307709
>while maintaining tact and dignity
>over the phone
pick one
>>17307709
Look you twat you go tell her "we need to talk"
She knows what that means.
NON OF THAT OVER THE PHONE SHIT
That's for pussies your a man.
You go in their with the mentality like your in their for a slaughter.
You say this exactly.
(Insert name) I'm going to be straight with you I am not happy with our relationship.
I haven't been have for the last couple of months it's not your fault but I don't want to continue. We're breaking up.
If she asks questions you ignore them and don't answer
You then will either start seeing tears or she'll get butt blasted.
No hugging no I'm sorry no lets be friends.
You get your shit and leave.
If you don't want to be a complete douch you'll hide your new gf for a bit a bit more than a week
That's I op
There's no nice way to do this get over it.
Is it possible to have a strong relationship with someone after cheating on them?
Have any of you anons married after someone cheated?
Is it possible to recover or grow stronger?
>>17307691
Lol I wouldn't marry someone who cheated on me. NO sir, no sir
>>17307691
>Is it possible to have a strong relationship with someone after cheating on them?
No. Relationships are built on trust and mutual consent, cheating violates both.
>>17307691
Everything is possible since you can never prove something wrong but the chances are smaller than successfully using a ventilator as a blender.
Hi /adv/.
I'm in love with one of my best friends.
I've already gone through a lot of shit and I don't think I can handle another loss.
But if I don't tell her how I feel I'm afraid I'll lose all sense of wonder and happyness.
She's literally my last chance to find meaning in life.
I'm a dude by the way.
No it's not "I wanna plant a pole in her field" kind of thing, I genuinely love her. Both platonically and erotically.
What do?
>>17307645
Don't chase waterfalls.
>>17307660
What does that even mean?
I'm not being rude I'm genuinely asking.
>>17307645
>I've already gone through a lot of shit and I don't think I can handle another loss
Yes you can man, you're strong enough. It'll suck but you'll survive.
>She's literally my last chance to find meaning in life
No she isn't.
>What do?
Make a move? Yes = great success; No = move on
