Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 271. page
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What's the point of a relationship if I have to go out of my way to pretend to not care about the other person.
When I'm myself and actually care and try to make my partner feel appreciated they get bored of me and don't give a shit, but if I go out of my way to ignore her, don't reply to her messages, etc, she suddenly comes crawling back giving all the attention, but I don't want to be like this because I'm forcing myself to be someone I'm not, so what's the fucking point?
Should I just give up on relationship and convince myself I'm not fit for one?
>>17305960
Give and don't expect anything in return from anyone.
>>17305960
>my experience with one woman is indicative of all women
Date people who like YOU and not the attention they can give to them.
>don't date people who don't mesh well with your personality
>don't be needy
>don't pretend to be something you aren't
You have to find a fine balance between being self absorbed and being needy. If you keep acting like a needy faggot, you're going to irritate most women and attract shitty, needier women that you're going to either cheat on or kill yourself over.
Learn to be happy with yourself
Had some differences with my bf and i can't go back to our normal, loving relationship anymore. What has caused that and how can i get over it?
>we had some different opinions on how appropriate it is that he's still close friends with his ex
>differences got honestly discussed in a calm approach
>since then i feel distant and indifferent towards him
>stuff i formerly found adorable now annoys the shit out of me (mainly lovey dovey things like he telling me how much he loves me, extensive cuddling and such)
>when i get a text from him i don't even want to read it
>we still have sex, but it's abysmal (i was always very enthusiastic and horny 24/7. Now i just want it to get over with and also, i suddenly get disgusted with his "bodily fluids". I noticed that i'm even trying to avoid kissing him...)
I feel so very bad about this. Note that i don't act on those feelings. I'm still kissing him, telling him how much i love him and so on. After all, on paper, our differences got resolved. Pls help me find out what's the matter with me and how i can get our old ways back again...
are you stupid
break up
>>17305946
It's not that easy. We move in together in two weeks. I already cancelled the contract to my apartment. And also, i really want to resolve this and not just run away as soon as things get a little bumpy. Ofc it has crossed my mind...
>>17305951
DON'T move in with him it will not get better. No partner should have to have the chat about the ex. If the person you are with is so insensitive to not recognize any boundaries when they enter another relationship and commit to that person you cannot convince them of it. I understand some people may want to remain friends with an ex but the insistence that ex maintain the same place in their life is untenable. Friends/acquaintance ok, but "close" friends, no.
Do women actually like guys that are chill and easy to get along with? looking back on my relationships, women seem to get bored because im really relaxed about most things. I notice, guys that are kind of dickish but entertaining get the most girls. i dont really want to act this way because i feel like an asshole and its not me.
>Do women actually like guys that are chill and easy to get along with?
yeah, just dont be a pushover and make attempts to get them in bed
>>17305941
im not though, and i dont make attempts unless its obvious that they want it. dont know, lad. from my experience women say they like this but they get bored.
Yes they do. And contrary to memes, women don't usually like assholes either. You should not try to become an asshole. You need to become less boring instead.
Why is this board so fucking cancerous
Every board is shit, you moron.
>>17305929
We get a lot of vulnerable people here, which makes it prime breeding ground for the cancer to spread. So the containment boards -mostly /r9k/ and /v/, but sometimes /pol/ too- raid us constantly, and they're the source of the cancer you're seeing.
It's unfortunate, but it is what it is. Until the site's leaders muster the political will to hand out global-permabans to the raiders (or, better yet, shut the containment boards down entirely), it will likely continue. It is entirely possible that even that won't work; the raids will just continue from whatever hugbox sites the bitter unfuckables flee to. But it's the least we could do.
>>17306000
>to hand out global-permabans to the raiders (or, better yet, shut the containment boards down entirely)
I don't really think that will help though, since they will come shitting up other boards anyway. And from looking at the last few years it doesn't seem as if anyone tries to enforce anything anymore.
I have a muscle girl fetish. Is it possible to find a /fit/ girl who isn't a lesbian/has ridiculously high (and well warranted desu) standards?
>pic related
>am /fit/ myself
Look for them at the gym. Be aware though that most guys won't find very muscly women attractive, so most girls will want to avoid being ripped.
go to a powerlifting gym not your typical normalfag gym, the few girls in there are the real deal
>>17305937
I go to a powerlifting gym. One is a huge lesbian who hates men and the other is a muscled qt with a husband that could rek my shit.... Those are like the only two girls that lift there :(
Is there truly a "poblem" with me hating people? I absolutely do.i am not trying to be edgey.i wish i was but i am not. Every person i have ever met has ethier exploited my insecurities,insulted me to on a spiritual level,cheated on me,or has told me to throw away my dreams.it never stops with them.all i can ever think about when a persom talks to me is brutaly hurting them or killing them.the only time ive met a "good" person is when i met my grandmother.i personly dont think i should change becuase through trial and error i have learned that i can not trust them or be friends with them.not even on a vague level.i can not even force myself to lie to them.i try to lie them,but i can't.not for second can i.am i in the wong here,or do they deserve it?
>>17305916
Well i have a lovehate relationship with humans. But i don't expect all to be good, nobody's a saint including you. However there are a few that are just blatantly evil. But i try to see the good in everybody anyway, you never know what they've been through. Just like you seem to have been through a lot and that's why you're the way you are. Just keep that in mind. You're not wrong for the way you feel, just try to give everyone a chance first
>>17305949
That is indeed thing.i give everyone a chance and they end up doing something terrible with said chance.i want to think people are good but like i said it always turns out way worse than what i bargained for.it is like geting a dog and then the dog turns out to be a pedophile.
>>17305959
Pedophile dogs...beautiful. And this has been EVERYBODY you've ever encountered?
Hey /adv/
Should I kill myself?
I'm almost thirty jobless and live with my parents. I lost the love of my life because of my drinking. I lost my car and license because of my drinking.
The only think I'm remotely good at is writing but I can't create anything other than /pol/tier short stories.
Suicide seems to be a option right now. The shame I feel is eating me up inside. It isn't subsiding it is growing and its ripping apart my guts every day.
Or....stop drinking...just a suggestion
>>17305914
alright
i was leaning no until you mentioned /pol/, go ahead
Writing my resumé, I don't speak native English as I'm from Europe
Is this correct?: "Respond to customers' queries..."
Or is it like customers's or customer's :D pls help ty
Non native speaker myself, but it's plural, so "customerS". the 's is only used as a short form of his or hers. As in grandma has a cake. So it's grandma's cake.
You're correct. But if you want to play it safe you can avoid the issue by saying "customer queries" instead, it's perfectly valid.
>>17305898
Using [customers'] implies possesion, for instance "the customers' dog pissed on the floor".
It's not incorrect to say [customers' enquireies], as the implication is that you've responed to enquiries made (and therefore possesed by) the customer, but as a native English speaker I'd say it sounds a bit clunky. I'd say "responding to customer enquiries" (which implies you've delt with a number of individual enquiries from customers) myself.
I fucked up.
I have this girlfriend who I really love, she is my first girlfriend and my first love. But since the start of the year I moved cities. And our relatonship has been declining, I still love her and she still loves me. But last saturday a girl gave me a smooch, and altough I love her, I have 18 years, I don't want to settle down. And I told her that. And she still wants to date me, I feel like a monster. What to do?
>>17305892
Where did you fuck up, exactly?
>>17305892
It's up to you, and you are who knows you gf best here but I think maybe you should talk with your girlfriend. Tell her what you feel and your situation and propose her an open relationship. You both still love each other and as long as you do, sex with other people shouldn't matter a lot. However, you have to be really careful, first of all, you should ensure that she gets it and don't think that you don't love her and, secondly, always have time for her, if you are about to fuck sb but she says she needs you, stay with her and support her.
>>17305892
Well. All I can do is give you advice that I would want to get myself in your age and situation. I don't know if it will work for you, don't know you or your girlfriend, don't know what would happen to you, and don't even know if it would make me happy because, well, I went the other way and it certainly wasn't happy for me.
Don't throw something great and special (SPECIAL) you have just for some easy pleasure and "expierience". All this experience other stuff is shit tv-tier propaganda in compramision with real understanding and companionship that your true love can give you. All the fucking around was worth nothing and all the drama made my life unpleasant. You find in the end that pleasure you derive from sex is all in your head and fucking third different girl this month is geting disgusting instead of orgasmic. I know you don't want to settle now, I understand that, you don't have to. Enjoy your great, sweet and growing relationship. Learn and teach. Get understanding. I wish I stayed with my first love, I wish I wasn't so stupid as to let other people ("but this one girl is so hot, dude!") ruin what we had. I wish I had someone who understand me and care for me just because it's me, right now in my life...
I would try to apologize her and try to get her close. No Long Distance Relationship bullshit. If you are different cities you might as well call it over now.
I am a fucking retard. Had this thing with a girl in which she did not wanted a relationship. She wanted only to fuck. So did I at first, but then i got attatched to her. Bad. 2 days ago we spoke on the phone and told her not to call me again. I felt like a mother fucking god, i felt like i have finally escaped that shit. No-no, i didnt. Yesterday i was fucked up, today I am a lot more fucked up and I feel the urge to call her. I know it cant be good since she wont change her opinions and would go back to sex and shit and me feeling worthless every time I am with her. I am nothing but a sextoy, and all that because she is taller than me (fuck me, right...its like something that I wanted).
How the fuck should i act.
>inb4 kill yourself
Already thought of that...it's not an option at the moment since I still got people in my life that care about me.
fuck a new bitch
I am so fucked up now that I couldnt even get it up for another bitch.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
PS: Forgot to mention, this whole thing was on for like 7 months or so...i think i fell for her
>>17305889
>Already thought of that...it's not an option at the moment since I still got people in my life that care about me.
Killing yourself is always an option, anon.
I wanna discuss kinks more in depth with my boyfriend.
He's a little vanilla-ish (as far as I know), and gets kind of bashful when I bring up kinks.
I don't want him to think I'm weird. Pic very much related.
Tell him you want to try new things because the sex is boring
>>17305882
Haven't had sex with him yet. We're long distance.
>>17305883
lol
might as well just email him that picture then
I've just noticed what I think is a small wart on my thumb.
Should I just go to a doctor and get it frozen off? Or are there any over-the-counter treatments that are actually effective?
I see they are options for salicylic acid or freezing treatments which are a bit more expensive.
Check out Duck tape .. Small bit on the wart. Wait months and it withers/falls off on it's own.
>>17306008
>wait months
I'd rather not. The right treatment should be able to have it gone in days or weeks
>>17306008
The duct tape tape trick has worked for me in the past
Ok so 1st year of uni is over and I've finally got this break I've wanted for so long. Thing is, I've come to the conclusion that the finals month was 1000x more enjoyable, because no one bothered me. Greentext for simplicity:
>yay summerbreak finally time to spend with friends
>i get calls everyday from friends wanting to hang out
>yay friends
>fast forward 1 week
>wake up thinking "i swear to god if I get another call..."
All I want to do is have a break from everybody and just focus on myself for a couple of weeks. Total cocoon mode. How do I do this without seeming autismo as fuck?
>>17305859
what do you plan to do with this couple of weeks? sit in your room alone and veg out? if you continue to flake on your friends they'll just stop hitting you up, and before you know it you're not sitting alone in your room because you want to, but because you have no one to hang out with and talk to
and then you'll be one of the 22-23 year olds on this board whining about no friends no social life b-b-but I used to be so good at it
time alone is important, but theres a balance that has to be struck
Just decline invitations for a couple weeks. If they're actual friends they'll still hit you up later. Careful, this is the fastest way to lose friends
>>17305859
Fuck you OP. I would kill to be in your situation. I literally have no one call me ever and have to basically pull teeth to have people hang out with me
Is it really love if the person you "love" has never met you before IRL and you can only message and call this person? Like if you meet them on Facebook and you say you're in a relationship, can you really call that a long-distance relationship?
Yes, but only if it's mutual and you make solid plans to meet, and follow up with something more permanent.
>>17305832
I'm talking about just chatting and video calling, and nothing else other than that. No real like meet ups or anything.
>>17305827
It can be, but it's not common. And like all love, it is very hard to distinguish from jnfaguation of obsession until the honeymoon period ends.
As another anon stated above, it is imperative that you make some kind of plan to close this distance once and for all. If you cannot set a date, then at the very least you need to know exactly what needs to happen before you can set one, and both of you need to work toward that in whatever ways you are able.
Like the subject implies, we were really close, and now he has just been ignoring my texts and calls to hang out! I have no idea why, He got this bitch of a girlfriend during the school year who has taken him away from us. I fucking hate guys who can't make time for their friends, every fucking time we were about to hang out he was with her instead, ignoring me. He is moving in august to california, a state away. Should I just break contact with him and see if he comes back, or what?
>>17305824
>>17305829
This is a slower board than /pol/ or /v/. Ten minutes before a reply is not unusual. Chill the fuck out.
>>17305839
>Chill the fuck out.
I usually get a reply within a minute or so. So fuck off and don't tell me that again. Thanks.
>>17305848
Chill the fuck out.
