Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1999. page
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>be me, male 32
>got lover of 5 1/2 years with deep physical and emotional connection
>she used to be my GF, but we've been more like FWB who still tell each other I love you, for the past three 2 1/2 years
>she's been away, so haven't seen her in three weeks
>she's been sending me hearts and telling me she loves me 4evah up until a few days before she returned
>got back Monday, we texted on Tuesday night
>told me she didn't have time to see me before X-mas
>said she didn't want to commit to staying over at my place between X-mas and New Year's, because she didn't know how she's feeling about it.
>mentioned doing stuff together, hiking, going to the cinema, nothing to do with being intimate
>I decide that I'm not going to chase her, so if she's not keen I'd rather go out and game other girls during X-mas break
>she sends me a text with hearts and merry Christmas at ten past midnight. I didn't answer because it felt so impersonal.
I woke up at my parents house, where I always stay during Christmas. My mom gave me a X-mas stocking filled with candy and gifts FROM MY LOVER. It turns out she was visiting them for two hours yesterday. What in the fuck is this?!
She don't have time to see me, but visits them for two hours? Important to note, after we initially broke up in 2013, we've been on and off, and I've been moderately depressed. My parents haven't thought the best of her, and on the other side my lover's family hate me, so I'm only allowed to see her when she's alone (she's temporarily living with her dad, to save money before she moved to a different country for a year,) and I'm only invited over whenever he's out traveling in his job.
Everything feels out of balance right now. What she did yesterday almost feel like she's invading my life and at the same time keeping me at a distance.
Am I just overreacting?
>>16599378
Had very similar problems. It only got worst.
But maybe it's not as it seems. You'll have to wait it out a while longer to be able to tell
>>16599392
How similar? Did you have a lover who went and saw your parents instead of you?
Should I expect that her uncertainty about being intimate with me during x-mas break was just her being busy with preparations before the holidays, and this stocking a sign that she's... I don't even know.
What does it mean?
You definitely aren't communicating shit with her, why are you hesitant to tell her that spending the holidays together means a lot to you?
>have crazy mother from Brazil
>my whole life I've been brought up uncivilized and crazy
>talks around her house by herself
>always tries to command and yell
>live at home because there are a lack of jobs in the area I liva ATM (us)
>mfw today I saw my crazy mother pour cream on the carpet for the dog to eat off
>lost my shit at her and started screaming
Should I be callibg a mental health unit for her? Also I Beleive she did this action to try and get it over me or slemthing almost as if she's trying to have power over a man like she did tk my dad and for me to sit there and cop everything, basically I think she needs mental help, she let's ducks run around the house and shit everywhere, I'm so lost as to what to do with my life, wtf do I do??
>>16599374
Have her admitted anon. Obviously she's crazy.
>>16599374
I don't know how to say this, but you're mom is a nigger.
>>16599386
Yeah no shit, my friends mum is from Portugal (white) and she's the exact same
![woman-reject-man-istock-630x418[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/rBXphym.jpg "woman-reject-man-istock-630x418[1]")
I need some advice, because right now I feel sexually confused.
There is this girl I like and have been trying to woo for the past few weeks yet she seems scared of me.
I've visited her doorstep almost twice every week since we've met and she just never answered. I even brought flowers and candies for her.
Things were going so great too when we first dated. I introduced myself to her when she appeared to be sitting by herself at a local watering hole. She felt a little nervous about a stranger talking to her let alone coming on to her so she told me right up front that "her biology was male". Now I knew what this meant and knew that it meant she was transgender.
My firm belief was that gender was irrelevant when it came to girls so I told her it didn't matter to me. This brought a smile to her face and we began seeing each other for sometime.
But it seems like the more she was around me the more she seemed to drift from me. Almost as if she didn't want anything to do with me. Why are girls, trans or cis, always so judgmental of men? I've had girls in the passed snub me and even flat out insult me by calling me a disgusting cretan. I thought a trans women would at least be against such bullying, but it appears they are no different from any other cisgendered gal.
Anyway, I absolutely love this woman more than any other woman I've dated, but she just doesn't seem interested in me.
What can I do to make her see how much I love her?
I am getting desperate now and am willing to try anything.
I need her back into my life.
Signed, Robert
p.s. I went to her house yesterday to wish her a Merry Christmas, but she didn't answer again. I am planning on going back today with her Christmas present.
OP, why are such a disturbing cretan?
Holy shit dude, chill a little. If you're visiting her house regularly and she doesn't answer it means you're smothering her.
I think it's pretty obvious she doesn't want to see you any more.
>>16599313
But it feels like she never gave me a chance on getting to know me. I just want to let her know how much of a nice guy I am. I even offered to pay for her surgery in Thailand and she just starred at me blankly as if I were some weirdo.
All right girls,
What's the best gift you can get from your man?
Something toughtfull that shows that he pays attention to my interests. Something diy, cause it's fucking adorable that he has put in the effort. Something that involves spending quality time with him, like a weekend trip or something exciting like couple-bungee-jumping
Strapon for pegging
>>16599325
I see what you did there.
Looks are very important.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how important do you think it is and why?
I think it's about an 8. People are very shallow and if the "packaging" isn't good they'll lose interest pretty fast.
>>16599107
10
Though its not in reference to anything else so its kind of a pointless question to ask desu
>>16599107
Important in reference to what? With no context, a rating has no meaning.
>>16599112
Things to say or do, i guess shes insecure
You want her to feel safe. Pull her close, run your hand through her hair behind her ear, and tell her she's safe in your arms. She will melt like butter.
Texts like "I was just thinking about you and I had to let you know you have the cutest smile in the world" will make their day. First they know you were thinking about them and second you compliment them.
Otherwise make her shit. Make her a nice card honestly if you put some glue and craft supplies into that thing you are on a one way track to cuddles and head. Find a stick, whittle the bark off, let it sit for 3 days then carve a love note into it and varnish it. Bam you made a walking stick and its sexy AF. Making stuff for your lover not only makes her feel special but it makes you look like a god.
When kissing her, stop, hold her head, look into her eyes, kiss her nose and tell her that she's beautiful. Or that you love that little mole on her cheeks, whatever sounds right to you. Make her feel that you think she is sexy af by randomly grabbing/smacking her ass or even whistle when she walks by. This should have a playfull undertone, but it will make her feel sooo good. Tell her how proud you are of her achievements and talents!
Things that make me feel special are things like text me during the day, he treats me different and more open with me than anyone else. He sent flowers when I was feeling down and he bought me a book by my favorite author, he will call me if there are thunderstorms because he knows I'm scared of the noise. He will sometimes leave notes for me to find like "you're gorgeous" or leave silly cartoons of me in my car.
He knows on certain days I need company while other days I prefer solitude and he'll drop everything and everyone for me when I need him. He defends me and protects me, he pokes fun of other males who hit on me, he is not afraid to be vulnerable with me, he makes me laugh and play fights with me. He playfully teases me and makes fun of my driving but says things like "at least i'll die with you" This is weird but he gets a boner at some point when he is with me but I like it. He's not even my boyfriend but I'm in love with him and he makes me feel special because of these things.
How can you make her lay like this after sex?
Ask her.
>>16599021
This
She has dat ass doe?
It's tenth grade, is it too late to try?
Can I still be successful?
Yes, go for it. Extracurriculars and community activities are most important if you're looking to go to college. If your grades are shit, just put that in the past and do the best you can for now. If some admissions guy or manager asks why you fucked around in high school, say you were depressed or something.
>>16598804
Idk if depression is that good of an excuse.
Couldn't I just do well in 11-12.
What do universities even look at?
>>16598825
ACT/SAT, GPA, and extracurricular are the most important. Just get 4.0s for these last 3 years, join some sports or clubs and you should be fine. Try to get plenty of college credit during high school too.
How comes I cant find anyone to legit "care" about me?
It feels like I've got lots of people that like me. But nobody really "loves" me if you know what I mean.
I know Im a fun person to be around, everyone seems to think Im some sort of comic story telling prodigy, always have been, I like making people laugh.
I know Im a good friend, people invite me to things and get sad when I cant go. We have a good time together.
And Im an attractive guy. Not some sort of 6ft greek god attractive, but I got a cute face nice hair good physique and I try to dress well, so I do alright in the "hookup" department
But I know Im an emotional person. I like being emotional, expressive. Dramatic even.
But I cant quite seem to meet a girl that likes me and likes me enough to want to see me loads and stuff. Thats all I want. Someone texting me to tell me they miss me.
A relationship that doesnt involve me putting in 90% of the effort
I met a girl that we seemed to have these mutual attraction feelings towards each other the other week. Im 21, first time its happened to me
We went on a coffee date and then a proper date the week we met, really hit it off. Seemed like we could go really well together. Spent the night in her bed
Then she has to go home for a couple months for xmas, and tells me "I feel like we've become really real really fast" "Im not ready for anything emotional, its just too soon"
We texted each other back and forth over the last week or so but shes just at home doing her own thing.
Im over here And all I want is something real for once in my life. Try it out, see what proper companionship is like in a relationship.
What am I doing wrong?
Bump whatever i aint sleepin now anyway
>>16598630
I'm a girl and I'm in exactly the same situation. I don't have any good advice, but I empathize. Just keep swimming, anon!
>>16598630
The only thing you can do is wait and stay on the lookout. She's out there.
Why does being nice result in people taking advantage of it and abusing you? Why do they always treat you like a platform to use and shit on in order to get away from their own problems, but not give two fucks about you, and leaving and screwing you over thinking it won't bother you or you won't care? Or that being nice somehow means you won't say "no" to them even when absolutely needed? Or that your patience is supposed to be limitless?
It seems that the second you show kindness, you're instantly treated as a doormat. So many years, so many people, I've had people do this to me day in and day out. Thinking I'm okay with it because "oh but you're just so nice, Anon. That's why I need you to do these things for me. :)" It makes me see why a lot of people act like assholes.
I'm nice and I've never had this problem.
>>16598558
You're probably not as nice a person as you think, then.
>>16598553
>>16598558
Protip: I promise you're not actually nice people, but only think you are. Everybody does.
If I have a talk to my girlfriend and both of our voices are recorded, but without her knowledge, is it meaningful in Australian law? If we make promises or agreements in the recording and it only stipulates things which are legal, can this work in place of a signed contract or letter?
>>16598436
Its illegal
Also stupid
Generally, an audio recording of a conversation is only legally viable if all parties have consented to having the conversation recorded. The obvious exception is police or other law enforcement, who are able to use secret recordings as evidence.
I'm not sure it's legally binding, but it's not necessarily illiegal to record someone without their knowledge. It depends what state you're in.
My girlfriend basically ignores me unless she's high and bored. She doesn't really care about anything I say, and the conversations we do have are usually unpleasant and we never find common ground on anything. Usually it's just her babbling pseudo-science that makes no sense and tries to rationalize her excessive drug use, and then getting angry when I'm not really interested hearing the same shit over and over. There is also no sex.
I'd like to break it off but whenever we do she just asks why and then tries to contact me a week or month later. What's the best way to actually get rid of her?
By having a spine, you embarrassing piece of shit.
I think you should list the priorities in your life.Definetly, your girlfriend is not helping you to achieve certain objectives in your life. You should reevaluate your life get away from negative and disposable people.
>>16598415
Post a pic of gf. Not a dirty one. I just want a person to match to the story that made me lol. (She sounds like a real trip, man.)
Does she use the whole "It's 2015" line?
What does everything think about being in relationships with virgins?
Is it possible for a woman to only have sex with one guy and marry him? What about if a guy has sex with only one woman and marries her?
Would they end up unhappy in life because they haven't had sex with other people?
Tldr;
> is it possible for a man or a woman to be happy in marriage with only having fucked that one person?
You can't generalize on this scale. Some virgins will wonder on what they're missing out on. Others will find it romantic having only one partner.
>>16598378
My girlfriend and I have only had sex with each other, and I do wonder what sex is like with people other than her. I'm concerned that this curiosity won't go away if we stay together for the long haul, but I don't think its unusual for other people to go ahead and marry the one person they had sex with if they feel like it.
>>16598396
Would this curiosity be something that would cause you to ask her for threesomes, an open relationship, or cheat on her?
I fucked my life guys
Gave up school for the girl and a couple pounds of God's best
Ended up halfway across country with no girl no money just a junker automobile of the age of rebellion
No! No!
This can't be how it goes down
I must resist such an irredeemable outcome
Maybe she suspected this move
But if so why
I rode into a local town with nothing but the clothes on my back and a black square that was free as I'm freedom with which I use to join the sea of consciousness and tubes
How should I continue on from this folly of follies with only 24 years under my belt and a Jon delivering calories to the rich and illegals?
>>16598280
kill yourself
When you write try to use less, more effective words. Its tough to read the stuff you're committing out now but I get the impression you are somewhere you don't want to be.
>>16599498
What
I have always wanted to try Psychs because i have herd a lot of good things specifically about inner reflection and such
I have a long history with perscribed drugs and mental illness. Diagnosed aspergers, and Generalized anxiety disorder i do not have any idea how these would affect me. I also smoke pot which keeps my anxiety mostly in check
What should i look or watch out for? should i do shrooms, LSD, or something different? I know stuff like have a trip sitter which would be my GF.
I would recomend that you try 25-75 ug of lsd and not to take any meds before or after 12 hours prior before you do lsd
I'd recommend doing it together, not having someone sober as a trip sitter. That is, of course, assuming she's tripped before. Sober people are oftentimes a buzz kill and a big thing that allows you to go deeper on psychedelics is bouncing ideas back and forth with someone who is also tripping and on the same wavelength. With a sober person you may talk to her and she may think "wow, this guy is really on another level," she'll subconsciously show this through her tone of voice or something, which you will pick up on because you pick up on these things much better when you're tripping, killing your buzz because you get self conscious. Psychedelics have helped me a good bit coming from a depression/anxiety background, but I would absolutely recommend against tripping in the company of sober people unless you really think you're going to lose it if you don't. Psychedelics are really not as crazy as people think unless we're talking about DMT or salvia. LSD and shrooms will certainly make you think wacky thoughts and possibly see visuals, but unless you take a huge dose you're not gonna lose you're fucking mind.
uh
Generally doing psychedelics when you have a family history of mental illness isn't a good idea -- you straight up already have GAD. I definitely wouldn't. How sure am I? Sure enough that if you were my friend, I'd forcibly stop you from ingesting a psychedelic if it came down
![1450907133543[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/ZRzIgNs.png "1450907133543[1]")
