Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2002. page
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Hi all!
> Come from Scandinavia
> 18 years
> Go to my apartment
> Listen shower
> Go to the toilet
> See showers open
> Person it
> Godly feces!
> She cried
> I freak out panic insane
> Fly
>...
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>>16597988
Please people! I am urgent advice! I need person give light on this issue, as I no home.
>>16597988
Help! Does any person proficient in advice giving? Help is needed direly in the most peculiar of situations! help!
>>16597988
Are you using bing translator
My first college grades came in recently.
I found out that I have achieved a 0.8 GPA and have been put on probation
What does this mean for my college career?
How salvageable is a 0.8?
What does this mean for my future in the professional world?
I scooted by in high school with a 3.5 so this is a completely new experience for me
>>16597966
Bad GPA isn't the end of the world. You are going on probation so they will monitor your grades. Dontnfuck up this time
I got a 0.8 in high school but I have a 4.0 in college. Maybe you shouldn't have been such an asshole to me.
>>16597966
How the fucking fuck fuck do you get a 0.8? Did you go to class only once or something?
![2000px-Male_and_female_sign.svg[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/aQIjsK2.png "2000px-Male_and_female_sign.svg[1].png")
Hey guys, i'm a dude but I love watching men with vaginas and women with dicks fuck eachother. Thing is I would like to have a vagina and a woman with a dick fucking me. I just wanted to know what you guys had to say about this.
You're a bit up shit creek then because transsexuals tend to have dysphoria and don't like their genitals very much and they would freak if you wanted them to use them.
>>16597987
Its weird because i'm 19 and have never thought of normal male - female sex as pleasurable and cannot get an erection over normal sex. But I get an erection over Male (with vagina) - female (with penis) sex. I will admit, I hate my cock and balls like hell to be honest. But I keep them because I don't then need injections and would like biological children if I have any. I'm in a real fucked up situation...
>>16598104
Ok, it sounds like you're complicating things a bit too much.
What do you mean when you say
>have never thought of normal male - female sex as pleasurable
that when you try to have sex with women it does nothing for you?
unfortunately you will never experience having a real vagina, but you do have a boipussy that either a man can fuck, or a woman with a strap on (although the real dick feels much better than the strap on).
Why not try that out?
i recently ffound out that my boyfriend i got back togetherr with gets raped by his dad often when he is around; i foudn out over the summer when we werent together, but i thought it was only one time, then i stopped talking to him for a bit. Bf lives in Chicago, and his dad lives in Florida. He is visiting his dad, but so far his dad hasnt done anything. But sometimes his dad goes to chicago to visit one of his children, but "requests" my bf to come visit him, and a few times he has raped him. My bf says he has been raped about 5 times, and he cant do anything about...
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>>16597882
i mean as in to visit him at his hosue when he is in chicago. and the last time he visited, he didnt do anything, but has before on his previous times
>>16597882
>le teenage texting language
>'This is literally stressing me out emotionally so much blah blah blah'
>raped about 5 times
I can't give serious advice for a post this incoherent. Beyond that, from what I can tell, your boyfriend is an attention-seeking teenage faggot who hates his dad. I mean, shit... why the fuck would you go across the fucking country to visit your dad who raped you //about// five times?
tl;dr:...
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>>16597882
tell him to film it some how next time it happens.
so how do i get myself together in every single way possible
???
i hate myself, i have no desire or motivation to do anything most of the time (this includes basic things like showering or even playing a game, it's barely enjoyable to me, i don't even want to do nothing, i just don't want to do something either)
i have weird body and eating issues, which involve obsessing over my weight, binging, punishing myself, and thinking i'm fat when i'm not (logically i know that - my bmi is 21, i would like to get down to 16-17)
i...
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>>16597796
>i'm 19 and i dont feel like i have a lot of time to do anything anymore
>>16597809
also probably illogical, would make more sense if i was 30 or something but,
i feel a lot of pressure to make decisions about everything, like what i want to do forever and ever and ever or the type of person i want to be with and i just don't have these answers and i feel like i should
and these aren't horrible things to think about, just the fact i have other issues on top if it makes me feel like i don't have the time to fix everything and be a responsible person
As a pretty ugly and below average girl how do I get a bf?
Post a pic.
Post pics first, then we can give you advice.
>>16597730
Post pic with tits, though.
What is the difference between hot,cute and hansome when it comes from a women's mouth?
>>16597586
If you are a male you should be getting called all three by different women depending on their taste.
Hot is a guy that makes you go into cave-woman mode. Perfect examples are stuff like him being big and muscly.
Cute is a guy that makes you go aww. This is probably more about his personality. It can be the way he smiles, the way he moves, how he talks, how caring he is, and so on.
Handsome is a guy that looks like a greek god. Those steel blue eyes? Yup. That freaking hot stubble. Check. Those big hands and his sensual lips. Dayum.
In the end, you can be all tree in her eyes if she likes you. One isn't better than the other and if you find a girl that thinks...
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hot is obviously "you make me wet"
handsome should be coming from your aunt or grandmother, if not, I think it's supposed to mean well groomed/dapper/something along those lines
and cute can mean the girl adores you like a baby turtle, or she wants the d
i can't speak for women, but this is my understanding of those terms.
So me and my wife have not been able to fuck in months. Live in a small house. Paper thin walls. Have 2 kids and any little noise and they wake the fuck up and are fully awake. It doesn't matter what time it is. We tryed playing to tired them out so we can get some fuck time but as soon there is a tiny moan, bed creaking, even a fucking sneeze and these 2 get up and run to our bed to see whats up. Basically i need help getting my kids to sleep.
Maybe some kind of knock out drug
>>16597220
Why not just soundproof your room?
You guys need to take a vacation together and leave the kids with friends/a babysitter, or just send them off to Grandma's house for a weekend so you and your wife can have the place to yourselves.
Besides that, there's not much you can do. It sounds like they're at that age where they're old enough to ask questions and move around independently, but not yet old enough to understand social boundaries. For a couple more years, it's gonna be pretty much impossible to get laid with everyone in the house together.
Start mastering the art of...
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if a girl sits close to u a lot, takes you out for pizza, touches you and says she cares about you, does she like you? (only need answer because I am beta af and don't know signs)
>>16596784
>says she cares about you
Ehhhhhhhhhh,
I'm a grill, and the only time I ever told a guy that "I cared about him" was when I was friendzoning the fuck out of him.
There is not enough information here for us to make the call if she likes you though. Just ask her out, goddamn. You'll never know if you never ask, what the fuck do you have to lose?
I'd say she likes you.
Why be beta though?
No matter what we answer, you won't get any better answers than by testing to see her response. I don't even want to get into this, just google/youtube "signs that mean she likes you"
But my answer is yes.
I am in army in an european country
Yesterday a computers liutenant called me saying i had browsed porn and "evil pages" (4chan) from the army internet and also deep weeb
he said i would be expelled and maybe put in prision for 2 months
but in exchange he told me i could be the informer and he would not inform the major
i told him who had alcohol in their room or who was a bad militar (lying medic about their illness)
am i bad or it is normal accepting to be the informer?
pic unrelated im not of a "minoritie" and...
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up
slav detected
>>16596553
no im not slav
im western european
Let's say that your cat hypothetically likes to steal from department stores, semi-professionally.
Do you think it actually hurts the clerks trying to make a living, and damages the atmosphere of the store?
Or do you think that charging $100+ for items that cost less than $5 to make in a sweatshop is just another form of thievery?
Speak honestly.
>>16595912
I don't like adding an extra thing for those employees to potentially be chewed out about.
I shop at dollar stores, second hand stores, and cheap online stores (taobao, aliexpress, etc).
>>16595912
selling things for a price people agree to pay for them is never theft.
Sure stores might mark up a product 100%+ but that doesn't mean that money goes right into scruge mcducks vault, it pays for the costs to operate the store and inventory the goods until someone buys them. If you do steal from people at least be honest with yourself instead of hiding behind edgy bullshit.
How bout you hypothetically get a job and use your hypothetical money to buy your own hypothetical shit, hypothetically.
>last had sex a year ago, in context of committed relationship
>0 sexual contact since then, two dates from dating sites that were unsuccessful
How long until I'm officially considered hopeless?
>>16595216
I haven't kissed a girl for 3 years and im a virgin. It will get better man. just go to a bar and get drunk the ladies will fly towards you.
>>16595216
Alcohol is your friend.
I went about five years between sexual encounters. It's only hopeless when you give up on it.
Never usually come to this board but I could use some advice right now. My girlfriend of a year broke up with me pretty out of the blue. I've come to hate her for everything that happened and events that happened shortly after. I have lots of items from things we did together, her garter from prom, movie tickets, baseball game tickets, concert tickets, pictures, a shirt from a run/walk we did together, a jar full of pieces of paper of reasons she loved me. And i've really just wanted to put it all in a box and leave it at her house while she's back from college....
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It's hard on everyone. It's normal to be bitter just don't let it control your actions. There's nothing you can do about her actions. Just do your best to move on. Return those things to her while she's on break.
>Burn it all
>Move on
>hit gym or whatever to improve
>focus on self
>Bang a rutbuster to keep the pipes from freezing
>then find a better girl, always be upgrading
Chances are likely she won't care.
Focus more on yourself as >>16595882 is suggesting.
Say it
The only thing stopping me from killing myself is how much it would hurt my parents
Miss you too.
Drinking tequila shots and watching Mean Girls like a sad fuck, and probably going to play league all night while I eat endless amounts of chocolate pretzels.
Fuck.
>>16588805
I have no motives in life
Every time I do something dangerous. I say to myself to bad that didn't kill me
I am a tremendously boring person. How do I fix that?
>>16598015
Stop being boring
>>16598015
Read, learn find something that interests you and go deeper with it. Even the most boring hobbies are cool to hear about if the person has knowledge and passion for it.
Every time I feel like I'm not winning the crowd over, I decide to tell the hilarious story about how my friends tried getting me laid by bringing 7 girls over to my house, but i was already drunk when they arrived and began ranting about how the 13th century was the best century because women had no rights, and then the women left and me and my buddies made a satanic pact signed in blood that we would murder someone and become psychopaths
