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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1935. page


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Alright, I know this girl who's very attractive, she's smoking hot to me.

and I'm happy because she also feels the same about me.

Here's the bad part. She moved to another state recently. We're not officially dating anymore but we still talk to each other all the time.

So here's my problem.

I know she likes me, I know I like her, great. But the distance is going to make it too difficult to keep things going.

I can't see her in person anymore, or that I can't touch her or hold her, and she can't touch me or hold me.

But we are BOTH constantly talking about how we'd like to fuck and whenever we get horny for each other we do that.

It's going to end up driving me mad if I keep doing this, I'm not an obsessive or possessive person and I never have been, but the constant distance-teasing(made up term) and talking about doing cute things when we can't is going to end up driving me insane.

I'm not exactly sure what my options are here. I know that it's natural for both of us to feel this way.


What do?
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16612024
Break it off for good or make plans to move closer to her. I hate to make it sound simplistic like that but those are basically your options. Long distance relationships pretty much never work unless you are actively working on a way to turn them into short distance relationships ASAP.
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>>16612050

Yea I feel the same way. I just can't see myself going further with this without becoming obsessive, and that wouldn't be healthy either for me or her.

She'll get obsessive too and it'll just explode in our faces.

I'm just not sure how to break it off, I love talking to her.

There's a part of me that would like to stay "just friends" with her, but our chemistry is just too sexual, I can make her horny just with my voice.

We'd probably slip into the same problem again and again.
>>
Okay, how should I break it off?

Should I explain to her what I said in the OP?

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This is a test thread
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Was the test successful?
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>>16612027
Failure.
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>>16612087
It didn't work out to well lol

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can i have a thread for myself, i dont know...just wanna ask about you guys'opinion on me
>be me
>age 20
>never had girlfriend and never give a shit about it cause waste of time, energy and money
>hate peer pressuring - one of the many reason why i don't want to be in a group of friends
>prefer to be with a person rather than a group since it is more intimate(had a few friends that is nice when alone but would insult you without a second thought when we are around a bunch of friends)
>have the tendency to keep clean friend list(0 friends), might make a few on steam and would remove them once I get bored of them
>slowly deleting myself from facebook and even change my phone number to avoid contact from friends i made when i am still in school(half of them are trying to sell my things right now so i dont see why not)
>prefer to talk to myself rather than to a person
>talks to myself for 2 hours every midnight
>not even likes animal cause they die
>it is said that if i were to clone myself, both of us would still prefer to talk alone rather than talking to each other
>that being said, i am not an asshole who ask people to fuck off everytime people comes to me, as a matter of fact, a lot of people likes me because i am 'nice' and 'innocent looking'
>currently studying IT programming for the sole reason of working quietly and alone behind a computer
>had hobbies(ant farm) once but my mom crush it by repeatedly nagging me about it and telling me to care for her fucking plants instead
>wear all black, almost everything i use is black
>day dreamer - i can day dream for the entire hour and it happens all the time
>night owl - slept 4 hours a day on average
>behave cauciously when outside and i travel alone most of the timethis stupid' when i was a kid
>kinda unorganised and unfinish but sorta lost interest after awhile so here you go

am actually committed to live my life alone and die alone and to be honest though i hope i stay this way forever :/
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Sounds like you're a cringe lord.
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>>16611967
>Autism
One of my 'friends' who is proud of the fact that he has minimal friends and has had no contact with women aside from his siblings or mother is diagnosed with autism.

Also >>16611999
>>
>studying IT programming for the sole reason of working quietly and alone
Could work if you're strongly self-motivated and diligent (don't forget: IT field is very competitive, needing at least a BA for decent opportunities). Most likely be working within a team of programmers, so having good communication and team-skills would help.

> i hope i stay this way forever
Glad to hear you're in a good place right now, but keep working towards something(short-term/long-term goals), so you'll at least have something to fall back on if/when things go awry.

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So my gf of 10 months has a father that is cheating on his wife. Who lives a long distance away. And just today my gf was physically hit for bringing it up in front of him.
She's 17 and I'm 18. And I only want what's best for her. I want to stand up to him but I don't want to make my gfs life horrible.
Advice?
Please and thank you
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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tell his wife
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>>16611964
He would likely kick your ass and make you look weak. Mind your own business.
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>>16612113
His girl is business and fuck dude he has to try, for Christ's sake why would you stand by and let anyone do that to someone?

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>next to every single one of my friends
>quiet, imposing, confidently talking, always the head of the group, very serious
>next to my gf
>anxious like a retard, constantly smiling, talking in a weird tone of voice, throwing all the spaghetti out

How can I be more consistent?
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Because you are results oriented with every interaction with her. Give less of a fuck if she is having a good time, enjoying her time with you.. likes you. She is there.. you won, brah. Consider her as just another friend but with benefits and not on a fucking pedestal to be worshiped.

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how do I message qt grill on a dating website without seeming like every other chucklefuck on there?
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16611951
Stop calling her a qt and thinking she's special.
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>>16611951
>Dating site
>Implying what you say matters
Pffftt Hahahaha you're so naive. The only thing that matters is if you're attractive.
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>>16611951
Be yourself and act legitimately interested

But enjoy talking to those bots

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>>16611945
Yes.

Don't share that piece of information.

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Hello guys. So I've been in a fairly new relationship with a girl of the same age for just over 9 months. This is both, mine and hers, first relationship so we're figuring this thing out slowly but surely. Everything is great and all. Love her a lot. We are both in different uni. I'm in my third year, she is in her second (she had to redo a year of college).

When we have a disagreement/argue, we both have our own way of dealing with it. She told me that if she is mad at me, I should just leave her alone and usually the next day, she will be fine. I, on the other hand, want to fix things asap so that there is less time spent not talking between us two. I try to talk to her about the disagreement and how we can try to get over it but she tells me that makes her more angry. Let's say I do what she said. I try not to bother her too much during that day. Next day, everything is fine and dandy. Isn't that just us ignoring the problem? I mean, we haven't talked about it properly? We haven't really solved it. We kinda just pushed it aside. I don't get it...

Wouldn't it be better to solve it quicker so that we can spend more time together doing fun things? Why waste a whole day not talking to each other? What do?

tldr: is it better to solve problems straight away by talking about it or wait a day for us to forget about it?

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Literally just got out of a relationship because we lacked communication.
If you can't talk through problems, you have no future together.
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>>16611937
See, that's the thing. I agree with that you say. I've been trying to tell her the same thing. This may be my first relationship but I have seen plenty fail because of lack of communication and I don't want that to break us apart. There are times when I have been able to put my foot down and have made her talk through it but then there are other times when she completely blocks me off. This is the only dent in our relationship so far. Like literally, everything else is great. How do I approach this problem to her?
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>>16611962
Not exactly sure what to tell you since like I said this is literally what ended my last relationship.

I'd say make sure she knows you really care about the two of you, and that you need to be able to work through problems if you're going to make things last. It seems like you've made some progress a few times, so I'd say there's hope.

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What should I do if my ex does not give me my stuff back?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Sue.
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>>16611887
It's a bunch of CD's...

I already know she has a shoplifting charge so...
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Threaten to get cops involved. If she still doesn't cooperate actually do it

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Ok so here's the thing:

Tl;dr - this girl who never kissed a boy likes me (more than a friend, actual feelings) but she says she can't have nothing with me because she thinks I would be unhappy with her. What do?

There's this girl from my uni. I didn't even notice she existed till this year, in which I would talk to her randomly and sporadically when I would meet her at night, for short periods of time. So she starts trying to make me notice her (some likes on fb and instagram and whatnot), and there's this one night where she and I talked for a bit longer. Next day, she engages conversation on facebook, and from there we talked like everyday and I eventually started growing some feelings for her. Eventually, she tells me she never kissed a boy (which I believe btw). Some days later, she tells me she likes me. I told her (mistakenly, I guess) that I liked her back. Thing is, she says she can't have nothing with anyone, even though she likes me. And not like "I like you as a friend", she specifically told me that she had the same feelings for me that I had for her. But she says she's better off being my friend, because I would be unhappy with her. What the fuck do I do? I think I actually like her and I would have already told her to fuck off if I didn't. What do?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16611827
She sounds insecure. You're dodging a bullet.
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>>16611827

>Tl;dr - this girl who never kissed a boy likes me (more than a friend, actual feelings) but she says she can't have nothing with me because she thinks I would be unhappy with her. What do?

Nothing. Why convince her to do something she doesn't want to do?
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>>16611832
>>16611835
>>16611832
>>16611835
>>16611832
so, ignore her all the way? I kinda wanna make her regret that she just wants to be friends. Ignoring usually works, but this girl already proved not to be usual

All my life I've wanted to be treated like a...normal person, taken seriously. Very narcissistic and caring about what others thought of me, self image. I've tried scholastic achievement, being in leadership positions, 'faking it until you make it', but through all of this it just seems like I'm a kid in a fat young adults body. Now I've dropped out of Uni twice, 19 years old, 22,000$ debt because of loans, chronic physical health and mental health conditions, and no matter how much something makes sense to me, like the only person whose opinion you should care about is yours, I've never felt that way, and I've been fighting it only to find I'm losing. Hard.

Now I'm a disgusting blob and my family and "friends" are getting on with their lives. I went to college about two years earlier than most, was hopeful of ivy graduate school. Now I'm hoping to see if I won't end it.

Saw an old friend go into marines, come out a respectable person, has money, muscle, a sharp mind. I can't do that. Spondylosis, mental health record, among other things. So I guess what I'm asking is, does it get better for people like me, the kind who internalize everything, who victimize themselves or are just stuck in a never ending thought loop? Is becoming an hero best idea if it won't get better? Also a poor fag, living in someone's home on charity with senpai.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Wow you suck. Sorry but comon did you actually try in uni? Opened up a book and actually READ? Instead of blaming ur pretend mental health. You put thousands of dollars into it after all.

My brother and I in our twenties with degrees making almost 50k. Despite what many say education is important. We put time into in and it was by no means easy. A degree from uni is important in helping you live that normal life vs welfare bum or disability scam.
>>
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>>16611817
An hero, OP.

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So, as much as i hate to say it my sister has become a bitch.

I'm a 19M and she's 21 y/o and honestly i don't know what to do about it or if i can even do something about

When we were growing up we always got along pretty well and she was overall a cool person to be around. We watched movies or animes together and she had pretty good taste in music. She was an interesting person

We had gotten very close and then slowly she began to get more distant. She doesn't want to watch movies anymore or do anything like that, she listens to shitty music 24/7 at full volume and if you tell her anything oh boy she's gonna make a huge fucking fuzz about it and you're gonna wish you never said anything to her in the first place.

Also whenever i talk to her she won't shut up about how she got so drunk the other night or how he hooked up with this guy or how she did countless bitch moves on this other dude and i have to stand there and act like if i care or as if i aprove of her actions when i don't and i really wish thing would go back to normal.

She's currently in college and she's probably going to stop living with me in the next year so i tought it would be nice to make thing up but i'm not really sure if i can. She has become the kind of person i hate and i don't really know how to tell her or what to do about

It seemed to start happening after she broke up with his boyfriend (they were together for like 5 years or something) but i don't think that's the only reason why she's acting like she's now

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9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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She is going through college and a lot of girls and guys get caught up in the party scene. Probably because its the best party scene of a young persons life. Once she graduates things kinda of slow down as everyone gets jobs and responsibilities, family ect.
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>>16611764
So you gonna fuck her or what?
>>
So what do you want advice with?
If it's about getting your sister to return to how she used to be you're gonna have to wait until she gets older and uglier and she's forced to settle down.

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Made a thread yesterday. Quick question after all that's happened.

Bullet points:
Girlfriend tells me she's meeting guy for dinner that she's been talking to for 8 months unbeknownst to me. Met him at a bar. She's 28. He's 22. I'm 29. He's visiting from out of town. I'm out of town on the holidays.

She claims he is meeting another girl and my girlfriend and him are only meeting because they have been talking on and off all this time online and became friends.

Told her this wasn't cool. She canceled the meeting and is in shambles. Inadvertently made me feel shitty for breaking a friendship.

Question. He's still there by the time I return. Do I ask her if we can all meet up together?
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16611758
Don't flip flop on your word. Having a gf like that is trouble.
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The fact that she didn't mention him before this is suspicious
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>>16611779
Agreed. Her reasoning:

He was a nice guy that wasn't flirting.
They're only friends who talk occasionally.
He's there to meet someone else.
He knows about me.

Again, her reasoning. I didn't know about him until yesterday. I think he's into both girls regardless if they're single or not. I'm not there, so I can't do shit.

I'm a 25 yo girl and I'm finding myself increasingly attracted to younger guys (20-22) which was not the case before. The guy I'm dating right now is 21 and although I don't find the age difference that big, most of my friends find it weird as fuck and tease me about it. Because I actually have an office job in a big skyscraper and my bf is still figuring out what he wants to do in life.
Why do people find girls dating younger guys weird ? I don't get it. I feel like if he was 4 years older than me nobody would have said anything...
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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That's a very small age difference, I'm not sure what your friends are on about.
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>>16611740
I don't get it either. It would be weird if you were dating a Highschooler because teenagers are dumb as shit and it's super easy to manipulate them, but the dude is 21, he's a grown ass man.

Maybe they think it's a stepping stone to being a Cougar. Or maybe they think the ideal relationship is with the man supporting the woman.
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>>16611740
No one finds it weird excpt for your friends. It's just different, most women go for older guys because they have experience/money, and younger girls often have more beauty.

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>Mother does shitty thing all throughout my childhood (not to me)
> Realize how shitty it is
>Want her to stop doing it
>Offered to make her life a lot more convenient to not do this shitty thing
> Still does it
>Really want her to stop
> Ready to start stressing how shitty it is
How do I try to stress to my mother that what she does really isn't right? I don't want her to get offended and defensive, I really just want her to stop. But clearly just asking her to stop won't do. I will make it a lot more convenient to do the less shitty alternative. I don't want to say what it is, since usually people just start talking shit when they learn. I want something more productive.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16611723
You're being too vague. If it's too incendiary to discuss then fine, but you should really know that saying "How do I get a person to stop doing a thing?" is useless.
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I'm wondering if I should do it in pay their through text. I wonder if it's face to face and I'm trying to tell her why what she does is fucked up, she would get more defensive and less likely to listen.
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>>16611723
Nobody is going to give you advice until you say

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