Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1936. page
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I can't build myself a circle of friends for the life of me. I either be myself, which is lame and unattractive, or I try to put on the act, which I'm bad at. In both cases I just come across weird and hard to talk to. On top of that, I work 6 days a week, with my day-off on a Tuesday, and it seems like if I'm not there to meet people 3 or more times a week, they forget about me and it becomes hard to even be remembered enough to have a facebook event invite thrown my direction.
On top of that, I have very low self esteem (kissless virgin, for one thing) so I'm not the life of the party, or at all assertive - like I don't force myself onto people until they like me.
The end goal for me is to just get into a meaningful relationship at some point in my life, and the problem with that is that it doesn't make me WANT to have friends. Having to make friends is a total chore, and being bad at it is making it even worse.
Any advice appreciated. I'm at wit's end, sometimes. Loneliness, feelings of inadequacy, etc. etc.
The standard advice would be... get some hobbies.. and find like minded people that enjoy it.
Gym, rc cars.
First you gotta be patient with people, because most everyone can have their baddays and be and assholes. Noone I know is a saint. Second, don't get discouraged if people don't always respond to you. Third talk to people invite coworker out after work for a drink or food... I dunno, I'm very social and talkative and I still only have like 1 friend that hits me up to hangout on the reg. Most people tend to be Fairweather friends or just regular work friends. God be with you on your quest friend....
>Having to make friends is a total chore
It really is, but as the saying goes "The best things in life are worth waiting/fighting for".
Do what >>16612155 says and keep putting yourself out there, and (hopefully soon) it'll get better.
Found out a girl I was dating is keeping her options open and is dating other guys. I'm going to a pub to drink away. Please guys... I need some advice on not caring so much.. I really don't want to do this ever again.
>>16611698
She's evaluating and choosing the highest status male that's available to her. It's an evolutionary mechanism that's been at work for around 300 million years. You are displaying your worth. There's nothing you can actually do until she makes up her mind. Don't think about it that much, there's tons of women out there and its almost New Years so keep a good attitude.
>>16611698
Did you ever have a conversation with her about being exclusive?
If you didn't then its completely your fault. There is absolutely nothing wrong with dating around and not putting all your fuck-eggs in one basket. Like would you ever put in an application into JUST ONE job and not put in any other applications anywhere else while you waited?
I date around constantly dude. Its kind of the new thing in this here new fangled 21st century.
If you assumed you were the only man on the planet that she was interested in and never bothered to ask her you're a dumdum.
>>16611759
You sound like an escort
I have respect for waiters and waitresses, I would not last without exploding. I was helping out as a waiter for a few days, (my real job is in a office for the gov).
Alright so a customer comes in orders a 8 dollar meal to go. Her friend pays they talk about their welfare cheque. I give her the food, done right? No, she starts asking for extra packs of sauce and I said ok, extra bag, ok, napkins, I give her a few. Nah she preceeds to grab a stack along with straws and over 5 forks. I'm pissed at this point and she said what's the big deal and swearing.
She doesn't actually leave and instead sits down to eat and asks for glasses of water. She starts sharing the single meal with her bf. No tips and I have to pick up after her. I said straight up to her that is ridiculous and were a business. I was pissed as hell and would have said fuck you!
>>16611516
>poor person comes into eating establishment
>pays for food
>asks for free beverage which you are legally required to provide as a restaurant
>eats their food inside the restaurant
So basically they had a shitty attitude and that justifiably upset you, but you're also being a faggot. I recommend never returning to food service if this very minor, common issue has driven you this mad.
>>16611516
Cool story, broham. Welcome to a usual day in the service industry.
My question is how many free things does a mom and pop restaurant have to provide until one steps in and says sorry we have to charge you? Is grabbing a whole stack of napkins appropriate? Should we not say anything when they bring own drinks? That's fucking rude IMO.
Hey /adv/, can you devise a plan of action around the following information?
I'm 24, out of college (chem major), currently unemployed and looking for work. I'm living with my brother in his living room and having shit luck. I took the JLPT this month and am strongly considering moving my job search to Japan depending on the results. My self worth is at an all time low and I don't exactly radiate confidence.
That said, I'm terribly lonely after having broken up with my girlfriend of six years a little over a year ago. As of late, I've been aimlessly flicking through Tinder, not really expecting anything; driven by a base, instinctual yearning for, let's not lie, sex and companionship. Last night a girl actually asked me out to a bar on New Year's, and said she thought I was handsome, and seemed awesome and nice. She herself is really cute. It's almost 24 hours later and I still haven't replied, because while this is something I want on some level, I question whether a relationship is a good idea when I'm unemployed, depressed and technically homeless, and furthermore if this girl would even be interested if she knew the full truth. Even if everything went perfectly I'd still probably feel like I didn't deserve it. "To love another you must first love yourself," right? But I'm so far down a hole I just don't even know. Compounded on top of everything is my moderate social anxiety that I can usually endure at the expense of acting naturally. And I literally haven't ever ingested alcohol, don't drink on principle and don't know my own tolerance. And again, I live with my brother. On one hand, it appears to be impending disaster, on the other, it's an opportunity to feel better about myself, in what I feel is a rather selfish pursuit.
tl;dr should I go out with a cute girl who approached me on Tinder even though I feel like and probably am a total loser
please respond ;_;
Take a chance, op. What do you have to lose?
>>16611713
money and dignity. hope it's worth the risk. I countered her offer and invited her to a ssbm tourney at a bar. might as well show her something I'm passionate about, right?
How do I leave my rural shit hole? No seriously. I'm too important to be here.
>>16611504
>not wanting to further the time-honored values of ranching and farming
>thinks he's too important and should go to the city and live in poverty and struggle as opposed to keep centuries old traditions alive and out of the hands of creep companies like Monsanto
>>16611511
This
why do you have such a huge ego? why do you think you're so fucking important OP? what is it that makes you so special and important. If you were smart you would figure out a way out. dumb is all you are, you're stupid.
>>16611538
There's no resources and the city is impossible to live in
How do I get a gf if I look like pic related?
You kidding?
Young Steve Hawking was fiiiine.
Stephen "gets cucked in the wheelchair" Cuck King
I wanna know your thoughts on this.
>move back into college this spring
>my gf of a few years is going there now
>find out she's literally moving into the room next to a girl's (who doesn't go there anymore, but her suitemates still are) who i cheated on said gf with a long time ago
>We weren't talking well and our relationship was shitty at that point
>other girl with emotional problems gets my attention, come over her apartment often
>Break it off with her because i see how wrong of a person i was to do so
>walking with gf up to same apartment over a year later
>heart drops as she opens the door to the suitemate i met back then who knows i was with other girl
>she doesn't say anything and neither do i
>still wondering if that was the girl my gf is swapping rooms with
>still wondering if she's said anything to my gf
>still wondering if she'll say anything or if she'll be there this spring
>scared shitless over something i fucked up long ago since gf and me are great now
I honestly wouldn't be surprised if my gf cheated on me while i was away but the fact is that she'll have proof of me doing it to her and i won't.
What do i do? Nothing? Wait? Tell her and ruin my future? Our future?
Should've told her long ago, Asshole, if you truly felt bad and weren't going to do it again. You deserve whatever she gives you.
>>16611425
Well, if she was never going to find out then yeah, never tell her.
You confess to relieve yourself of the burden of guilt, but it never makes the other person feel better. Confessing is probably the most selfish thing you can do.
In this case however, she's probably going to find out from the other party so you're pretty fucked. I would suggest committing sepuku for acting so dishonorably.
For a while, I felt like one of my friends started to dislike me, and I don't know why. It could be just me, because I'm a very paranoid person, but I feel convinced today.
How can you tell?
pic unrelated
Please help?
Are you fucking serious? First my fucking friends hate me and now random strangers on this site hate me too! What the fuck did I do wrong in life? WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME? WHAT THE FUCKDID I DO WRONG FOR THIS TO HAPPEN? I CAN"T EVEN WALK IN A PUBLIC PLACE ANYMORE WITHOUT VPEOPLE GLARING AT ME?? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT THIK MY EXISTENCE IS A FUCKING MISTAKE!
Ask them if they want to hang out.
If not, they don't like you.
I think /adv/ or technology can help me with this, but i have this phone where it just turned off because of low battery but i mean its been charging for more than 4 hours and it doesnt turn back on. It just has an orange light. Its a "ZTE Awe"
>>16611397
What do i do?
To cut a long story short, completely in love with this girl, who does like me too, only problem is she has a boyfriend that she doesn't want to break up with because she has some kind of delusion she will be with him forever, she didn't tell me she had feelings for me but told mutual friends and her boyfriend who then got his act together and started putting in effort
Pic unrelated
Any advice?
i like to eat lemons straight up like an orange. is the acid in them going to fuck up my teeth?
>>16611373
Only if you brush them right afterwards
You might get blisters on your tongue. That used to happen to me when I ate a lot of citrus.
>>16611373
really? they make me teeth feel rough unlike how they are smooth after I eat one. it goes away shortly after but I've read about lemons hurting tooth enamel. tooth enamel doesn't grow back so I'm wondering why this feeling goes away pretty quick
We met a few months ago, became really good friends and eventually started dating. After only a month of dating, we fell in love. Call it whatever you want, what I feel right now for her is so strong and I have no doubts about that.
In 8 months she'll be moving far away for college. For the few months we've dated, we visited each other pretty much every single day. I don't think either of us can deal with a long distance relationship, we both need a physical connection and affection.
The honeymoon phase is wearing off and now I've been thinking about our own future together. It's always been in the back of my head but I guess the harsh reality hit me now. I've got no plans for college but she does. She'll be leaving me soon and there's no way for this relationship to stay alive. I brought this up with her a few nights ago but she just broke down, told me she couldn't think about it. I think she just wants to avoid the problem for as long as possible, but I can't let that happen. I've always been the type of guy who likes to put down problems before they get too out of hand. I told her we would have a discussion about our future tomorrow. I want to bring up breaking up.
I'm crying right now, I can't be strong at a time like this. But I have to step up, I don't want to let her go guys but I can't turn my back on this relationship and pretend everything will be okay. The more time we spend together the stronger my feelings will get so when the time comes for her to leave we'll be in a bigger mess than we would be in if we broke it off early. I've spent so much time thinking about it. We either kill our relationship off now or stay together even after she leaves. The only question is which hurts less.
Fuck I don't know what to do. It hurts so much.
>in 8 months
Nigga that's plenty of time to have a normal relationship that can end on its own. Why the fuck you worrying, there's a big chance you may not even be together in 8 months, be realistic. Just have fun now, you can think about it but if you're letting what's happening 8 months form now ruin life for you now what the fuck is the point?
Quit being so dramatic. My first serious relationship just ended last week, she was just an exchange student here for a semester. We went out for 3 months, and now she's thousands of miles away and across an ocean. Yeah it's hard but when it ends, regardless of whether its because she leaves or because you break up before that, just be happy it happened, don't be sad it's over. Quit being alone and thinking about it and just fucking hang out with her and do shit.
>>16611401
Yeah that's something I've thought about. But on the flip side what if we are still together?
I'm confident the long distance thing won't work. Breaking up now as opposed to later is the less painful option isnt it?
>>16611420
This was the conclusion I had come to as well with my girl, that the long distance wasn't going to be good for either of us in the long run. Yeah you could break up now but why? I mean, nothing lasts forever anyway. Think about what you're doing logically if you break up now instead of later, you're saying "I can't be with this person for more than the next 8 months, so Id rather just not spend ANY time at all with her". Doesn't that seem fucking stupid? It did to me. Yeah sure it will be less painful but either way you'll get over it, and a lot can happen in the next 8 months. Either her plans or yours can change, if it is a special enough thing to last for the rest of your lives you'll make it work, if not then so be it. But to end it now is like saying "I won't be able to have hamburgers when I move to the congo in 8 months, so I'd better get used to not having them now and depriving myself for the next 8 months instead of just giving them up when forced to."
How do I keep from getting dehydrated when I'm constantly vomiting and diarrhea-ing?
I cant keep even a small sip of water down. Ate something bad yesterday.
>>16611367
Try anal
IV fluids
>>16611367
You probably caught the noro virus. It will be gone in a few days tops.
I think they sell special liquid medicine specifically for combating dehydration. Maybe you can get some at the drugstore.
What does it mean when you used to be close to a girl, but you guys broke contact for a couple years, you had already moved on, and she attempts to make contact with you again? I Mean she was a shit friend, but I believe everyone deserves second chances, and am always open to new friends, but I feel like it isn't genuine anymore. Is she doing it for attention? Bored maybe? I just think if she really wanted to reconnect she'd at least send a message, but a fired request out of the blue? Dunno. Should I just ask what she wants? Seems really rude...
It's a combination of keeping her options open, feeling neglected by other men who's attention she seeks more than yours, and self validation.
Unless you've gotten noticeably more better off than when she last knew you.
How do I get this girl to fart in front of me? We're good friends and she's not exactly feminine, how can I achieve this?
Haven't seen you in a while.
Most people can't fart on command, you know. Even belching on command is easier.
>>16611365
I can farther on command. You just have to push hard enough. Just tell her to push hard op.
>>16611341
You both gotta eat gassy food, and then fart in front of her.
