Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1794. page
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Does this person think we are dating? I sometimes flirt back but have given no indication that we are dating. They changed their name in my phone to Bae(; and say things like this. I don't want a relationship with them.
Stop flirting back then you idiot.
>>16676461
Don't mind flirting, just don't want a relationship and they even told me a week ago that they weren't ready for a relationship with anyone.
>>16676455
I'm sweating rn for you anon lmao it looks to be the case. For your sake, I hope it isn't.
So I got a message from my ex the other day. Here's the general idea lads:
>She's preggers
>Not mine so it's cool
>She's planning to kill it anyway
>I begin to refer to it as Bort for abortion
Next day
>It begins to dawn on me that Bort will fulfill his purpose and get aborted this week
>Fug.png
>Become strangely attached to this doomed embryo (probably because like him, I too was let go at the last minute)
>Consult friend
>We begin the 'Save Bort' movement.
So, /adv/, how should I rescue Bort before he dissolves from existence?
You know how they always say don't name it
>Pro Lifers
Top kek m80, she's destroying that mistake and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
>>/tumblr/
>>16676384
Don't. You're only invested in this because you picked out a dumb name for it. You'll get bored of it and she'll be left with an unwanted child and all the responsibilities and financial drains that a child entails.
I've been thinking about killing myself for a very long time and I want to make it easy as possible on my family.
Is there anything I could do to make it easier for them?
Anyone who has any experience with losing someone, what could I do or say to soften the blow?
So far I have come up with leaving a note saying I don't blame them, that I had been suffering for a long time and maybe they can find some peace in the fact I'm not any more.
I also plan on leaving a photo of my mother and I so she has something to remember me by.
>>16676371
My brother killed himself. It destroyed me and my family. I can't get over the guilt, the anger, the sadness. I have been in therapy for a year and it is so hard for me.
Please, don't do it. Seek help.
>>16676371
There is no way to make it easier. Everyone you know will suffer quite badly for varying lengths of time, totally independent of your actions beforehand.
It's why people call suicide selfish, because everyone will blame themselves, wonder what they could've done more to help you, and feel guilt in addition to their sorrow, no matter how nice your little suicide note is.
If you have a selfless bone in your body, you wouldn't do it. It's a lot of anguish
Smoke cigarettes. Makes yourselve feel better, is a cool thing to do and only cuts of a couple years if you don't stop it when you're old.
When I was young I used to find comfort in people's words and presence. I used to crave connections with people, friendships, hugs.
Now they are meaningless to me. Everyone has an act or an agenda. I didn't have friends as a teenager because we moved a lot, I didn't fit in in the place we settled, I was weird. So I was raised with the anonymity of the internet and disappointed parents, and now everyone in person seems fake. I don't trust people unless they're sharing harsh truths, and no one does that in person. I remember the connectedness I felt when I had friends as a child, I wish i had that but I think even if I did it'd feel meaningless and fake now. Why have "friends" if they're not willing to tell you when you're being a piece of shit?
I can't connect with people beyond the "nice" stage and haven't been able to since I became a teenager. I was a loser as a kid, people were nice to my face but made fun of me when I was gone. And now as an adult, everyone is shallowly polite. It makes me feel pathetic.
I want to die, my life has such little meaning, but I can't do that to my family. How do I cope with this? Is there anything that lessens this pain? I'm in my early 20s and already a bitter old crone.
>>16676339
Opiates, in moderation.
You'll feel great, and will enjoy connecting with other people again.
I was as jaded as you, and around your age. Opiates work wonders, but the key is moderation.
>>16676339
Well, you figured it out. There's no going back. Either someone wants a friend to use them or to vent. Having a relationship is just about seeing the best of yourself in someone else (aside from the few who like a partner who challenges them). Welcome to the shit-hole that is humanity.
>>16676339
Self-fulfilling prophecy: Your low self esteem makes you put a false energy into your 'niceness' with people. People can feel your insincerity, and respond by acting 'fake'. They do not want to show their genuine selves because you appear to be deceptive. This leaves you feeling alone because you did not establish a human connection.
YOU have to come off as honest and sincere. If you are, someone (not everyone) will find value in that. That's what a real connection is, and sonny boy, is it rare. But it's real, and worth the effort.
Which language have you found to be the most useful besides English? (Pic only related if you speak Husky)
Hard say, might depend where you live. Useful day to day might be Spanish or Chinese but I'd like to learn Latin for its own sake, understand art, law, medical terms more.
>>16676285
For global speakers it goes:
>English - 880 million to 2 billion speakers.
>Mandarin - 760 million to 950 million speakers.
>Spanish - 550 million to 675 million speakers.
Mandarin is fuck hard to learn, you really need to engage a tutor and study hard for years to get even halfway decent at it, so go for Spanish. English will be the lingua franca long after the West has fallen back into obscurity, so don't worry about being outdated (at least within your lifetime.)
>>16676285
>Which language have you found to be the most useful besides English?
First of all, >>>/int/
Secondly, it's dependant on your current needs. Up until recently, for me, its been Spanish. Now I'm learning mandarin, which is actually not as hard as it sounds although pinyin is fucking stupid.
Learning any language can be easy if you put the right amount of effort into it. Immerse yourself in the language through media and constantly practicing with apps or other software. You can also Skype with native speakers.
Masturbation Girl here again.
Whom do I have to talk to to ask to get banned from this sub for a month? It is literally outside of my power to resist the urge to keep bothering y'all until my time at the therapist.
just spam pics of my little pony and you'll get banned eventually
it seriously triggers the mods for some reason
>>16676157
I lol'd
>>16676144
I am unaware of this history, you like to touch yourself? Cool.
>>16676162
No, I've got some sort of a mental block on masturbation and for some reason people keep asking me if I've been abused sexually, because apparently my views on sex, sexuality and the relationship between men and women are fucked up.
I desperately need to orgasm in order to lower tension, and I am too tense to orgasm at all times. I try to do it as a substitute for self-harm but 100% of the time it doesn't work and I end up cutting anyway.
I have Fordyce Spots on the underside of my penis and they're starting to appear on the top side of the shaft as well, how can I prevent this?
also is there any way to just get rid of them altogether, I'm a virgin and this is causing some anxiety. I also have a light brown complexion and my junk is a few tones darker so it's noticeable.
>>16676081
Rub aftershave on to them.
>>16676091
This isn't like bengay on balls right?
Isn't this normal for some guys?
What is the best way to kill myself without drawing any attention to it?
I'm a PhD student and I had a massive mental breakdown last year. I have barely been able to leave my house. I teach online and took one class last semester that I ended up needing to drop because I was hospitalized for self harm and ended up having to stay for 3 weeks in a recovery facility because I was still super fucked up.
I've been diagnosed with PTSD from shit that happened in my childhood as well as genetic bipolar disorder, and general anxiety disorder. I also see a specialist do cope with agoraphobia that I've developed over the last year.
There is this one girl in my phd program who I went yo grad school with and she always makes up horrible rumors about me for no reason other than because I was a "freaky nerd kissass who cares too much about this stupid field".
The faculty love her because she's very two-faced. I have done better work, but knowing she would be following me into the phd program horrified me.
Anyway, I want to take another semester off because I still am so fucked up I can hardly leave my house. I was JUST put on lithium and it makes me more suicidal than ever.
My family and husband both know how fucked up I am and are always watching me because I had 12 hospitalizations from serious suicide attempts in 7 months. The problem is that someone always finds me, even when I try my best to hide it.
I doubt my department wants to deal with all my fucking shit anymore and I'm too afraid of going back to school.
The problem is how do I kill myself without anyone finding out and trying to help me?
>>16676012
>repost
>>16676014
But its not?
1. pick up phone
2. dial 911
3. tell them you want to kill yourself
>year 2011,19yo me created a fake account on fb
>met a 9.5/10 girl(definitely a 10 if it wasn't for her teeth)
>lied that i'm still single
>started chatting more frequently
>a year later we became bff and skype a lot tells me she came from a broken family and other secrets even shows me her secret spots iykwim
>asked each other for our addresses
>exchanged gifts she gave me her favourite razor blade pendant necklace also gave her an octagon shaped necklace with her first name initial on it
>asked me for a 100 times of my real profile but i was afraid my gf would find it out
>finally tells her the truth
>she got sad af and wont talk to me anymore
>a month later she told me she already had a bf
>deactivated her account lost contact with her
fast forward in time 2016
>feeling horny looking for a good porn
>finds a 9.5/10 girl, realize she looks like my friend from 2011 after examining it i confirm it's her because of her teeth
> see the necklace i gave to her
.felt sad because of it also felt happy because she still wears my gift
>feelsbad.jpg
>>16675995
You were looking for porn and found her?
Show us the video, I want to see her teeth
>>16675995
>19 in 2011
gtfo underage b&
>20+ year old virgin
>spent years masturbating
>anxiety problems because of College
>finally get around with a girl
>can't pop a boner
Jesus H. Christ anons, I fucked up. I fooled around with her and even fingerfucked her but I couldn't keep my boner up. What the fuck do I do? Hours before I took an anxiety supplement whose side effects include some ED but I have also spent years as a porn addict.
>>16675963
Stop watching porn. Stop fapping.
90 day...
It's alright OP, same thing happened to me on my first time when I was 21. I freaked out about it for a while but now I realise I wasn't totally relaxed like I should have been during sex. It also didn't help that the chick I was with was experienced and only about a 7/10 in my books.
>>16675970
>90 day...
I made plans to see her tonight and even talked about having sex. I just researched my particular drug and it says its out of my system in 37 hours at most. I'm fucking dying here with the worst anxiety I've ever felt, literally frozen at times thinking what might happen if I can't pop a boner again.
What are some ways I can tease my boyfriend?
>send him lewd pictures while he's at work
>blow him while he's in the middle of competitive gaming
>innocently sit and grind on his lap and deny being lewd
>>16675896
Sounds like you know how perfectly well already.
Is this with a specific goal in mind? Like maintaining interest or something else?
>referencing swallowing, anal, randomly putting on outfits
>road head
>bend over right next to him
>get out of shower and start a conversation while not getting dressed and continue the conversation horrendously long as to make one think there was potential sex
>>16675909
Forgot to list, being woken up by head. Can't forget that one.
So, my GF and I don't have places of our own yet (we're still with our parents...), and we haven't fucked yet. Any ideas of where to do this? Figured cars would be uncomfortable, would like to save money if possible so no hotels/motels. Ideas?
At one of your houses when no one's home. At one of your houses when your families are home. At a friend's house. In the woods.
Go camping if you live somewhere not freezing
Wait for parents to leave
Assert dominance over parents by giving them $30 and telling them to go watch a movie at the theatres
Pray you have a brotier dad, say you need some time with your girl this saturday, ask if he can accommodate
On your parents bed.
But seriously though. Car sex is a lot of fun if you do the right positions. My favorite? Guy sits on backseat in middle. Girl sits on top back facing him and leans into front seat
>female friend will point towards me with her leg and foot
>will quickly stand up straight when I notice
Is this good shit?
ayy lmao
>>16675743
>point towards me with her leg and foot
u wut? bruh that's not some universal sign of attraction you're gunna need to elaborate
>>16675743
It sounds like she's trying to playfully nudge or kick you without you noticing. It could go either way, but I goofed around with all my friends that way. It meant nothing.
So I useto get tormented and ripped off during high school. After high school I ended up getting taller and wider, even people that useto rip me off came upto me and I was twice their size, ive been lifting for 5 years now and have reasonable gains and Ive started college. I cant seem to form proper relationships with guys but no problem with girls.
Why is this? This idiot bud of mine who I dont classify as a good friend just someone I've known for the past 10 years I guess, he sometimes tries to make things goes his way and when he does I avoid him at all costs until he comes crawling back, then he said to me today that I'll never be a winner and Im a loser and no-one wants to be around me?
You've just landed a couple of shitty friends. In your case, you've got at least one super shitty friend. He definitely deserved a punch in the kisser for that bullshit.
What do you mean make things go his way?
>>16675726
he'll want something or if im at work he thinks im lying or just wants me to drop anything im doing to benefit him
If you could win the lottery, would you want to? And if you did, what would you do with the money?
With the ongoing powerball craze in the US, it's fun to daydream what you'd do if you actually win. But if you did actually win would you had wanted to? I heard stories of where people won and they got scammed, targeted or even killed. Friends and families become parasites or show their true face and some winners have commited suicide.
Realistically, what would you do if you won the lottery? Or would you had wanted to win at all?
>>16675663
>buy rental properties
>???
>profit
If I had a billion dollars. Hm. I guess I'd buy a huge patch of land and live in it. And build a giant wall around it.
Better yet buy an impenetrable mountain vale, less wall and more water supply.
Maybe the wall would fuck with the ecosystem though. And you know I'd want to hunt.
Buy an island.
Hell yeah I would want to win.
I would immediately give my two best freinds anything they wanted cause
i know they would do the same for me.
As far as the risks. I wouldnt tell anybody about it until it was safe in a bank. I had a good ass financial advisor, and a personal body guard.
I would give my parents 2 mil each and then rarely talk to them.
Winning would literally give me the ultimate independence to do whatever I want and to go places and do things that I could only dream of right now.
![Fordyces_spot_closeup[2].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/CSK7oEY.jpg "Fordyces spot closeup[2]")
