Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1793. page
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I'm having deep emotions about how bizarre and utterly unmanageable human existence is. Life turns out to be a lot more harder and A LOT more boring. Career and life disappoints are plenty. I hate the way my life has turned out, and I think about this constantly. I'm incredibly envious of those who have a good career, a social circle, and a great girlfriend and are successful in the endeavors they're passionate about. I feel like an utterly mediocre human.
I'm 25 & completed my degree after years of struggling from a mediocre state university with a slightly above average gpa. But now I'm left with a "now what?"
I have no hobbies, i have no passions, I have no purpose or motivation. I've mostly chose my field because it seemed sensible and I didn't know what else to do. I've never chased dreams. I've never done anything in my field. I'm not even particularly sure want to do this as a job. The constant rejection and pointless application churning during internship season was incredibly demotivating.
I'm not happy with my life and not passionate about what I'm doing. I don't even know if I even have passions. I have these crazy pipe dreams of being in a creative field but those don't make money. I might even hate it because I've never done anything of the sort. I come from a very poor background and my family has expectations.
I feel I've never particularly had control of my life. I feel I'm a plebe and that even if I get a job in my field it will be boring and mediocre and not what I actually wanted. I mostly see myself as a mediocre slightly miserable 30 year old.
I'm currently I'm stuck between studying for grad school entrance exams(GMAT or LSAT), applying to jobs, or just going in a completely different direction and saying fuck you to the conventional road. But honestly I haven't done a thing for the last month. I need some help in terms of what I should look into doing next and how.
what do I do?
read Stoner by John Williams (not about stoners, it's about a man with Stoner as a last name) and cry because that will be your life
>>16677064
How does this help me? Do you relate to the character of the book or is this some attempt to troll me.
>>16677049
if you are going to grad school without really wanting to, you are setting yourself up for a miserable experience, maybe take acouple years to work around and see what field you like, then go back to grad school
I don't know if I'm still in love. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years and I think about what other women would feel like, what it would be like to get to know them and be with someone not like my partner. I love her, and I'd do anything for her but I don't know if I'm attracted to her anymore. Is this normal? I don't really know what to do.
same story here op. maybe its "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome, maybe not. we will probably always be confused and second guess our decisions.
Seems to me like you haven't fucked enough girls around to realize what matters. I think you need a few shitty relationships to see what you actually have is great. Dunno why our minds are so fucking disgusting...
>>16676885
>>16676896
You never stop asking yourself if it couldn't be better with someone else. You also never stop thinking about how sweet some other girls might be. It's normal. If you're in a good relationship you shouldn't waste it and if you feel that it's over leave but don't put the focus on how you feel about other people but about how you feel together with your partner.
This white kid is gonna fight me. What do? Pic related. It's him.
fuck him up i can't tell if he has an arm or if his shirt has a broken thread
Pin him face down and grind into his hips?
Tear his earring out, bitchslap him, kick his feet out from under him, flip him on his stomach and kneel on his back until he asks for mercy.
Always avoid blows to the head, because that shit can go wrong so fast and so easily, and you don't want to end up in jail on a manslaughter charge over some dumbass fight. So don't bash his head against the ground, kick him in the head, any dumb shit like that, unless this kid is actually trying to kill you.
Came at home at 10 am and my boss called me right now and said if I could do a double from 5pm to 9 am and I said
"I don't think so, I'm sorry"
Should I have worded it better? I mean seriously I would have 3 hours of sleep and then 2 hours commute into 16 hours of work but she wouldn't care if I'm tired.
>>16676772
You can't do it. What the fuck else is there to explain?
>Should I have worded it better?
no, your reply was perfectly fine
It's fine.
Recovering from psychosis, too much weed.
>tfw voices in head for a year
>actually followed them
>turns out just audio hallucinations
>tfw expected full recovery
Need femanon to talk to
>>16676756
Femanon here with psychosis NOS. What do you want to talk about?
I'm a non-mental femanon, can talk too if you wanna
>>16676771
What is NOS?
It's hard to do anything but lay in bed and watch simpons pretty much, waiting for doctor prescription.
I'm on arapriprazol injections at the moment
Yeah how does the post limit work on this.
I had a crush on a girl in uni, first time I ever really had a crush on anyone my age who I could talk to. Just before Christmas break I start talking to her. She's really friendly too me, we flirt quite a lot, she starts the conversations with me, smiles a lot, more or less tells me she likes sitting with me in lectures and stuff.
We go on Christmas break, she invites me to do a bunch of stuff with her once we get back. In fact we even sit watching a show in her room on her bed UNDER A BLANKET.
I stupidly tell her at this point that she was my only good friend on the course. That seems to deject her a little bit. All throughout the week we don't talk, she doesn't show me any interest at all any more.
We wouldn't see each other for another 2 weeks after this week and she doesn't want to meet alone again (always says she's busy at whatever I suggest). I get frustrated and tell her how I feel via text. She rejects me brutally, tells me she's aromantic.
I don't think that's true though, I definitely think there was a time where she did like me. All in all we were 'friends' for about 2 months or so, maybe longer and I had a crush all that time. Did I wait too long to ask her out? What mistake did I make?
Maybe. Maybe she found someone else. Maybe she just stopped seeing you that way. Maybe she never saw you that way in the first place and thought maybe you guys were getting a little too comfortable. No way to know without her telling you. It's tough but you're just going to have to cut your losses and move on.
>>16676706
Could it have been the timing though? A lot of people I've told this too have told me that 2-3 months of a crush is far too long, and I got 'friendzoned'. In the future if I get a crush should I try immediately and without hesitation?
Stop being such a fucking beta.
You tell her how you feel LIKE A MAN, STRAIGHTFORWARD AND DIRECT.
She either says she likes you too or she does not, if yes, great. If not, then move on with life and maybe you can remain just friends. DO NOT CHASE GIRLS. It is useless, unless you want to be a beta that can be cut out at any time and expected to still chase.
As for timing, you tell her how you feel the instant you can conclude what way you feel about someone else. You just fucking tell her, women are the ones that are shy about love. Not men, unless you're a beta faggot.
Don't ask, take charge.
You can do it, I'm telling all these things from my perspective, from what I have experienced and seen.
BE A MAN.
>get introduced to a chubby latina girl through a friend of mine (she's his coworker)
>she's cute but overweight, and the kinda overweight were it goes to her shoulders and face despite her belly not being that huge
>I'm into /fit/ so she ends up asking for fitness advice since I look good
>she ends up asking me alot about fitness and really expresses a desire to lose weight
>show her how to count calories and explain as a girl she doesn't need to really build muscle, and that with basic discipline weight loss is very easy, it just takes a few months to start seeing noticeable results
>really happy someone wants to better themselves
>she adds me on facebook later
>end up chatting to her (she's articulate and we talking about a dozen different things)
>after we end up talking about boyfriends/girlfriends she says she's never had sex, and would like to lose her virginity to me
>keep in mind, I'm not a virgin and I can get girls when I try
>also she is kinda not that attractive, her complexion and face aren't horrible but her fat is in all the wrong places and also I'm not huge on brown girls
>I told her if I did, it would have to be be discrete and I really don't want to get into a relationship because I have college coming up and I'm moving soon
>(didn't say it was because of her size, felt bad since she was so nice)
>she's still down if I'm willing to make her first time nice and not just leave as soon as I'm done
Okay, is this a bad idea?
I was a pent up virgin for years until I got in shape and lost it to my first girlfriend, so I know that I would have loved a more attractive girl to throw me a bone even if we didn't date.
But I don't want her to get super attached because while she isn't very attractive that feels scummy and she is genuinely a good person.
>>16676681
Fatties don't deserve love or respect. Notice how you only hot attention once you got fit? Why would you want to stick it in a fatty? Say you'll fuck her once she loses all that weight, piggy.
>>16676751
Meh just fuck her. It's really no big deal. Just tell her no stings attached, if she gets clingy then it's over.
It's a free fuck, who cares.
I would say it's a bad idea. As you said chicks that lose it tend to form some kind of bond. So unless you want this girl whom you said isn't very attractive to be attached to you then go right ahead. If not then politely turn her down. Don't feel bad though, most unattractive guys get turned down all the time by chicks, so just keep moving on.
Side note/question. Would you say that if she lost weight in those wrong places, do you think it would make her more desirable?
i think im gonna hang myself with my shoelaces.
what are you, in prison or something
would it hurt?
>>16676651
i did drugs now i wanna die.
Yesterday morning I was walking towards the bus stop and less than 200 feet in front of me a man jumped off a 6 story building, he faceplanted right into the ground. I'm shaking. I was with him while a man across the street ran and called the police. He was still alive, but I didn't say anything. I was in shock. He was moving his shoulders but died right there in front of me moments after. I didn't see a ton of blood, but he just looked very broken.. I can't eat or sleep. It was so bad. Maybe I should have given him words of comfort. I literally couldn't speak, my mouth for some reason went dry, I couldn't say anything if I tried.
sorry for all the typos, didn't read it over
man that's fucking awful to have witnessed, but really, there's nothing you could've said even if you hadn't gone into shock like 99% of the population would've. like there's literally nothing you can say that sounds okay:
>are you okay?
>oh my god why?
>it's going to be okay
there's nothing. so don't fret about it.
I don't blame you. You stayed there with him at least, instead of just leaving.
Talk about it and get it out.
I lack the balls to kill myself. I lack the will to keep living. Doesn't seem likely to get better either, as it's got steadily worse for years.
Any suggestions other than sit and wait to die?
Sort your problems out like any sane person?
Yes. Therapy for your depression. Very original, I know.
Depression is a common illness. What makes it different from other illnesses is that people will object to treatment due to retarded reasons.
Your depression will get better and then you'll be glad you didn't committ suicide. Just ask anyone formerly depressed.
My uncle was very depressed, grew up with my mom in a shitty home and then a shelter. He left everyone behind (we live in NYC) and moved to Japan. This was in the late 70's. Perhaps you need to go to a new place.
Gf wanted to take a break for a couple weeks and not talk. Said she had to figure some things out. She said there are issues with our relationship. Issues that she never ever brought up to me until she initiated the break. It's confusing as hell because she's never been like this before. This weekend will be two weeks since we talked. Should I contact her at the end of this week or should I wait for her to message me? Any ladies with an opinion on this?
General relationship advice: if someone asks for a break, you consider that it is over. Take a time for yourself, you don't need to find another gf asap, but don't go back with her.
>>16676621
>issues with our relationship
Yeah, issues like you not being a Chad with three foot cock, you cuck.
It's over. Move on. I'm also 100% she must be dating or fucking other guys as a way to "find herself". Women always do this.
So me and this girl are seeing each other for 2 years and i only recently find out she is a feminist.
*red flags activate*
I begin to tell her what i think of feminists and how there is a considerable amount of them that a extremist and only wish to make women
>more equal
She begins to tell me that this isn't her take on it and that she wishes to have equality for all people no matter who they are. "oh okay so you're a humanist?" *gets extremely offended*
She just won't take anything I say on board. I kept calm through the whole argument but she kept bringing up things that I do that are inherently misogynistic in a fit of rage like paying for our food or not letting her pay for dinner when we go out.
>excuse me for letting you keep your own money
What should I do. Aside from this I really can't think of a single thing wrong with her. She's got no major flaws that I can seem to deduce.
Let her have the right to pay for her own meal.
Wow, that was easy.
>>16676563
Tell her equal but different. You pay for the meals. She decorates your bachelor pad.
You started off wrong. Even if you were calm or logical or whatever else what did you expect by attacking someone's closely held political beliefs? There are extreme views in any schools of thought that are easy to pick apart.
>be me
>In college
>track runner
>muscular otter build
>able to easily flirt and make girls laugh
>8" penis
The catch.
>dont drink
>only take science classes.
How the hell am I supposed to pick when at parties Im the only sober one.
>anon have a drink
>oh youre one of those guys...
>boring
How the hell am I supposed to pick up women under these conditions. Im not looking for a serious relationships and there are girls I could date for that. I just want to bang hot chicks I see. Like I can get them to bite their lips at me, but I cant close the deal.
And why is there so much pressure talking to these girls. One will wink at me and Im supposed to cross over the fucking earth to entertain her. But in the end, shes a drunken mess and I cant, or she wants to be around drunk people.
Advice?
Now you understand what people mean by "personality matters". Just fucking act drunk instead of being stiff as a board - it's like the same fucking thing. They want to be with somebody that's confident and easy going. You sound like you have a massive stick up your ass because of your entitled attitude "oh man I got a big cock, I'm fit, and I'm in the sciences, the bitches should be begging ME for the D!"
Holy fuck, man.
>>16676516
Why does everyone here project so much.
I dont have a problem with my personality. People love me. And I have no problem with sober women. Just the drunk ones. When someone ask you to drink with them and you turn them down they immediately get turned off. Guys as well. Im asking how to avoid that.
>>16676526
Not that I have this problem, but I think in this day and age, it's a genuinely legit concern. However, it does mostly boil down to the kind of people you hang out with. Like, if someone thinks you're boring just because you don't drink, they're generally not worth your time.
You sound like you have a lot going for you OP, maybe expand your social circle and try meeting people outside of parties. This is a prime time in your life, so make the most of it.
Are you in any clubs/societies?
What can you do about being overly sensitive and getting upset at everything?
Give some examples to we can get an idea of what you mean.
>>16676537
I was having a perfectly good day, looking for jobs online, helping mom with the house work, playing with the dogs and making tea when I remembered that the syrian crisis is a thing, and the thought of innocent civilians makes me sad, and the thought of getting raped/killed by muslims makes me sad, too, and that sometimes there are literally no good options and human suffering is awlays inevitable and now I'm sitting here in my bed crying, hiding under a blanket and knowing that it doesn't make the big scary world go away.
>>16676508
The key to prevent sadness and fear for the future is preparation. Take self defense and have the skills and reference experiences to feel confident.
Additionally, it seems you went on a depressive thought cascade. Basically, one bad thought leads to another right? The key to that is to insert a time gap between thinking of something sad, then expressing that sadness physically.
Try pausing for one second before you think of the next thought. Maybe (inside your mind) scream the word PAUSE! Do it for one second, before you physically react. Eventually work your way up to 2 seconds, to 5, to 10, to 15, 20, 30, 45, then 60 seconds.
From there, you learn that you have the power to choose how to react to a bad, or even good, feelings.
Hope that helps!
My boyfriend insinuates occasionally that I'm clingy even though we only see each other 2 days a week throughout 4 years of dating, and the days we don't see each other we reply to each other's texts after a few hours with rare phone calls late at night (we are both lazy texters to everyone). I feel like this is not clingy and it is reasonable. Sometimes I ask to see him a third day in the week and he gives me a look like I'm being a clingy bitch and reluctantly says ok. He also tells me that I don't like him spending time with his friends, but I don't see where he is getting this as he has 5 days a week to see them and I don't even give a fuck if he goes to the strip club with them. I only get pissed if on the days we do meet he cuts our time short by meeting his friends first and then coming to meet me at 9 or 10 pm when I have work the next day. I feel really hurt by this and it's just odd to me because every other guy I've dated have told me that I'm cold, private and don't see them enough. This is how I know I am not clingy. I just feel like he doesn't enjoy seeing me or something, and when I talk to other people they always talk about how they meet their SO almost all the time, etc. I don't even want to meet him every day, but three days a week would be perfect for me as the 2 days we spend together, he usually picks me up late and we wake up early the next day. Does anyone have similar experiences ?
>>16676502
He's bored with you and this relationship; possibly has a side bitch. Obviously he's not very involved so prepare yourself for getting dumped
>>16676507
I actually tried to break up with him over this a couple weeks ago and he begged me to stay, saying that he intended to marry me and shit.
He seems really shady and not that into it. I say move on.
![The Hunting Party [Cover].png](https://i.imgur.com/YfPm55y.png "The Hunting Party [Cover]")
