Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1604. page

>>16791770
Smoking ANY substance will cause your lungs to malfunction eventually, they were made to take in H2O, not some other shit.

Do some exercise or something instead. I don't know how bad vaping is because I don't care enough to look into it, but I do know that it looks retarded

No you weren't scammed. Doctors in those sorts of clinics aren't familiar with conditions that don't affect a lot of people. You were sent to a specialist because that's who can help you. The money you paid was because they're open and available outside of times that you'd normally be able to see a doctor, therefore they charge more because the doctor doesn't want to be there either.

well the healthcare system is fucked up, but dude - doctors can't know what your problem is before they see you. That up front fee is for their time and expertise at discerning the issue, it's not the doc's fault that your problem needed a specialist.

>>16791766
> goes to urgent care clinic for chronic issue
> thinks he was scammed because his chronic issue wasn't magically cured in one visit

>>16791757
>In these five months post-breakup, we have had sex multiple times and she even considered getting back together with me. One day i told her i had enough and i didn't wanted to wait for her anymore. I deleted her on facebook(i know, i know) for my own healing purposes.

She has feelings for you to some degree, but was stringing you along, probably waiting for something better that hasn't come yet.

>When she found out, she was furious. Calling me immature and then told me never to contact her again. I said okay, and kept on doing my thing.

Emotional reaction at the rejection of the pseudo-relationship. She was probably getting cozy in it, but still - this is immature from HER, not you.

>Skip forward a week after the "fight", she texted me asking how i was doing, and initially apoligized to me. She said she was sorry for being such a bitch.
>Btw, my mom just got cancer, so she said to me she is very sorry for me. She even requested to come pick me up so i could sleep at her place, so i didn't feel alone(Like wtf?)
>She also mentions that she wants to come to my apartment to talk to me whenever i feel like . She even said that her parents would gladly have me over for dinner some day.

She realizes she was being a bitch and is trying to apologize and be there for you.

>I politely thanked no, because she cant have me around he little finger like that.
>
>Whats her deal /adv/?

Relationships are complicated, dude. You don't talk about why you broke up in the first place, but it sounds like she was the one who wanted it, trying to hypergamy her way to something better (?), which it sounds like hasn't panned out for her. I'd be willing to bet she really does have feelings for you, but you were smart to reject her. Who is whose orbiter? It's not clear. What is clear is that there's SOMETHING that draws her to you (even if that's just 'safety'). The real question is: what is it that you want from her?

>>16791787
>>16791787

Thanks for the breakdown.

Truth is, is that i was madly in love with her and i might have come across a bit beta in the breakup period.
I still love her to this day, and if things could be working out, i wish it did.

We live in a fairly small town, we have mutual friends and its kinda hard not to bump into eachother when we are going out. She told me she was going out this friday and so am i.

Should i expect something when i meet her? Or just play it cool and let her come to me?

Suffering.

>>16791748
Why do you think she is so much better than you?

>>16791753
I don't
She's just a person that I'm always happy to see and hang out with that's able
to put up with my shit for an extended period of time
I just wanted to post something that would make other people sad

Someone from her past, either a prior crush or an ex, came back into the picture. She's involved with him but not yet confident that he's a keeper. (Especially if he's an ex, because they have a history of failing to stay together.) That's why she's keeping you around via the attention over texts and such. All of it is meant to keep you hooked so that she can fall back on you. You are, at absolute best, her consolation prize.

>>16792076


This. She's fucking with you, mate.

Stand up for yourself, ignore her.

same thing kind of happened to me, OP
>dating a guy
>a few months, we're really happy
>no real problems
>we had a weird date one night
>no big deal just shook it off
>silence from him the next few days
>wake up to a text from him saying he's not ready for a relationship and that he thinks we should stop seeing each other
>the day after he ended it he starts seeing another girl
>they date for 2 1/2 months
>he still talked to me even while he was dating her
>tried to see if i was still interested in going out after they broke up
aside from that, i've seen this happen to a few friends. she's keeping you at a distance so that you're an option to her. cut her out.

>>16791707
considering that's average i don't see a problem here

>>16791707

nothing is ever really useful on its own. surrounding information helps. six inches attached to a neckbeard wont get you far.

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>>16791702
>indergead

>>16791702
Learn to english faggot. I'm still in indergaed so I don't know what I'll retain.

>>16791702
Undergrad* my b

"Hi there, I'm anon. <Friend> told me that you were looking for an intern and thought I'd be interested"

>>16791676
"Hello, it's me, A Friend."

>>16791664

other than actually practicing with daily essays (id recommend an online course at the very least) look into using... idk, spellcheck? even browsers have built in spell check so you should use any word above 4 syllables and just right click it to find the right spelling.

for bonus points ,any time you misspell a complex word, re write it four times while looking at the correct spelling. helps get it in your brain instead of relying solely on spellcheck.

>>16791664
English professor here:

I'll bet you're trying to do too many things at once.

Writing is a multiple step process, each step employing a different part of your brain, and it is best to do them one at a time, even if that seems the long way.

1. Invention. Start, before writing a word, by getting clear in your mind what you want to write about and what you want to say about it.

2. Content. In order to say what you want, what sorts of things will go into the essay? Subpoints, logical steps in the argument or description, examples, whatever.

3. Organization. Put those things in a list, in the most logical order. Imagine that you were talking to someone - what would you instinctively say first, second, etc. (A formal outline of the sort they teach in comp classes can be useful here, but a list will do.

4. Writing. Just write it. Forget grammar, spelling, everything but just translating your list into sentences and paragraphs.

5. Editing for content. Read over what you read. Still ignore grammar and spelling. Does it say what you wanted to say back at the start? Does it include all the points you wanted to make? Might it be clearer or stronger if you switched the order of sentences or paragraphs? Did anything wander in that isn't really relevant?

5. Editing for mechanics. Only when you've got it so it says what you want it to do you worry about spelling and grammar (Why fret over spelling earlier when you might have ended up dropping that sentence?) Run it through a spell checker and grammar checker. (Neither id foolproof, but they'll catch 80-90% of errors.) Have a friend read it to see if he/she spots any errors.

Do you see that each step requires a different kind of thinking, and that doing each on its own is easier than trying to do them all at once?

>>16792369
Prof here again. I didn't do the last step before posting this, and I now see at least three (relatively minor) mechanical errors I should have caught. Shame on me.

File: RuntUEC.jpg (348KB, 1228x1478px) Image search: [Google] [Yandex] [Bing]

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Refers to any generic object. Think of it as the "x" in algebra

>>16791656
Do you know object oriented programming?
Obviously you don't.
You might want to check in to it.
Basically you create a class with something like this
Class Faggot(){
private string name;
private int age;
private boolean cuck;


public void setName(string name){
this.name = name;
}
}

that would go in a Faggot.java file, now this "class" thing is like a blueprint for an object, and object basically is 'instance' of a class, a group of variable and functions that you use to be more organized, reduce complexity at some point and most importantly reusability.

Say that you want to create an object based on the class described before, you should use something like the following:

Faggot myObj = new Faggot();

now we have created the object myObj, basically object means a "reserved space on memory tho hold structured data". So now the myObj object has the properties that the "blueprint" Faggot represents. So embedded on it you can find the properties "name", "age","cuck".
Now as you can see I also defined the function "setName" that receives a string named "name" and assigns its value to the object property "name". When the operator "this" is used, it refers to the object that is calling the property, in this case myObj. To use this method we could use the following 'myObj.setName("OP")', that would give the property name of the object the value of "OP". Before the method was called the property "name" was null.

>>16791720
yeah, I don't know anything about it, hence why I asked this question

Given how long it's taken to get this job, do you really think you have a chance at getting one of those other jobs?

>Some of those jobs I might like better
You don't go to work to be entertained

>>16791654

take the job, bail if a better offer appears. no ones going to get personally upset, the boss might be frustrated that they hired someone who left so fast, but if he was offered a better job he'd take it in a heart beat. loyalty is a really fucking retarded concept when it comes to the job market. they have no loyalty to their employees, but expect it unconditionally from them.

it wont matter anyways, you can just ditch and wont have to deal with fallout. just dont list anyone there as a recommendation in the future.

>>16791677
> loyalty is a really fucking retarded concept when it comes to the job market. they have no loyalty to their employees, but expect it unconditionally from them.

Not OP but yeah I can agree with this. Looking for jobs is so hard (I'm going through the same) and they always want such perfect employees when they honestly most of them don't give a rats ass about you.
>>16791654
OP congrats on finally getting something that you seem to be okay with let alone something at all even if you don't take it that's a good accomplishment. I feel your pain though too about it taking so long I'm going through it myself.

>>16791652

i feel ya. i spent a year in a daze cuz i woke up many times in the middle of the night. sleeping entirely through the night is a life chaning experience. its like having a fully charged phone for a day versus waking up with a 40% power phone. sure it will last, but you cant do everything you wanted with it, and it acts weird.

as fow how to fix this, even low stress can cause it. i learned that if i lay out my outfit for the next day on my desk, have my lunch packed / breakfast planned (like if its just cereal leave a bowl out with the cereal on the table and just go for the milk later, or just have the fruit laid out on the table, etc) i do better.

basically all i do is wake up, put on my clothes, pick up my bag, brush hair and teeth and im out the door. nothing to worry about.

for bonus points, right before bed i sit down and i write a list of everything to do tomorrow. not just work, but home and errand stuff. it stops me from tossing and turning thinking about what needs to be done. writing it down literally gets it out of your brain and ont o paper.

Bump.

The thing is I suspect my father asked them to lend them some money,
without me knowing, because for some time I've been refusing giving him any.
My uncle was not direct about this, and I'm too embarassed to ask so the whole thing becomes even more difficult.

They are family.
Assuming they are on the level they will hear you out and this will stay between you three.

It would not guarantee it but you can be sure what they would do with the info. Then just tell it like it is.

>>16791776
Ah I'm sure that wouldn't be the case,
my aunt gossips like fucking hell but they already knew something was up,
and I don't really mind if other people know about this.
I could really use the help, I just don't know how to face the "humiliation" (lend me a word here) of opening up to them.

>>16791609

not sure what the 4-7-8 method is.

as for falling asleep, humans are diverse, so there are a variety of ways. it really comes down to you.

how is your sleeping situation at the moment? is your bed comfortable? or are you justd used to it? i didnt realize how awful my bed was til i slept at my friends house in his bed. slept through the entire night without waking up. didnt wake up sore.

in addition to that
>what noises are keeping you up?
>what lights
>what temperatures?
etc.

some people like to listen to a radio play. some a song. some an audio book. some a sitcom. some hypnosis. some white noise. some nothing. me, i cycle through all these cuz different things will do the trick in phases. find what works for you. switch it up when it doesn't. though most people respond well to absolute silence, some people have really intense minds that wont stop thinking and worrying. stories distract from that.

how is the light? do you leave a computer on? does it flash lights? TV? cell phone? windows? light is perhaps the hardest thing to fall asleep with, even a small tiny red dot or th red lights of your alarm clock. my advice? get rid of it all. put everything on surge protectors and turn them all off before bed. maybe put your cell phone jut outside your door wiht an alarm to go off in the morning. some evidence suggests that just having things powered on in your room can interfere with your sleep in some stupid scientific way.

>temperature

most people dont realize this, but its eaiser to fall asleep in the cold. i dunno why, i think it ssomething about how when you sleep your body temperature naturally lowers itself. maybe its the other way around? idk. but if its too hot its hard to fall asleep. consider turning on your air conditioner or buying one, or not having the heat on too high in the winter. cover yourself in blankets to get warm, but the colder it is the easier it is to fall under.

>>16791609
>>16791646

finally

>stress

the hardest way to fall asleep is when you left something unfinished. i would be up til 2 am having trouvle sleeping cuz i didnt do my homework. in my junior year i developed a work ethic and this changed my life drastically. but i stil had some trouble.

i found that if the night before i laid out my exact outfit, had my bag already packed, etc. then literally all i had to do was wake up, put on clothes, brush teeth/hair and go to work. stress free. leaving things laying around and having to do extra work in the morning sends you to bed thinking about it.

as for the things that simply CANT be finished, make a list the night before. writing down what oyu need to do tomorrow organizes it in a way your brain simply couldn't on its own. you go to bed feeling relaxed that you know what to do instead of worrying about what you might forget.

>>16791609

I do heavy cardio before going to sleep. It works very well for me.

I cannot believe I am going to write this, because it's the same advice other people gave me as well - but you always only know what's best for others.

1. You are still young.
2. No, seriously, you still are.
3. How do I know? I am the same age, and people way older than I am told me. We are talking about ~50 years old. And if it applies for me, it applies for you as well.
4. At least you are not grinding yourself when you are comparing to other people. You "only" grind yourself because you didn't archive what you wanted to do in life. That's OK.
5. There is no reason worrying about the past, you cannot change it. No reason worrying about the future, you have no control over that one. And that last thing is IMPORTANT, because - if you are like me - you are a constant thinker and worrier, and you have to imagine how the future is going to be. Let that be. In the end, it will only hinder you and prevent you from doing what you want to do.
6. Again: Do not think about the future. Do not do not DO NOT. Think about the present. The present is important, the present is what matters, nothing else.

>>16791571

>I'm 23 years old, 24 in july

are you me

>and i dont have shit to show for it and am no where near what i pictured

nevermind.

>i recently found out ive had adhd which caused me to get suspended from college 3 times.

either learn to control it, or take meds. the best thing i can offer for learning to control is plastering the word 'focus' all over everything you own. in class? suddenly not paying attention? you see the word focus, and it draws you back in.

>it will take 2 years to graduate, minimum

not ideal, but not the worst thing ever. lots of people dont graduate until they are 26 or so these days. its just the way the worlds changed. it slows down life a bit, but thats not the worst thing ever. if you know your classes will put you in the right degree for the job field, then just keep doing it. thats the endgoal. then you go from there.

>my job i tolerate but its a dead end

its just to support you til you finish colelge. though if you can find a job in a field that will help but is laso convenient in terms of classes, do take it. no harm in looking around once a month to see whats out there.

>consider to friends but not truly

never ever ever ever ever measure your life or success in relationships. if. this is an indifferent universe, it does not think and plan or carry out. things simply happen, and your success is measured by how well you handle the things the universe arbitrarily creates.

people are the opposite. you cannot make an equation for relationships. you cannot break down the science of interactions. there is the random element of all of humanity that stops the relationship, and all do end in one way or another. so to measure yourself based on what other people are going through in relation to you is not good.

instead always focus on expanding yourself socially. as long as you are putting yourself out there, as in not giving up because of the random nature of humans, than you are successful in terms of relationships.

>>16791571
>>16791614

finally, you are not lost. you...
>know what you want to do
>know what classes you need to take
>know when you are going to graduate

what else is there to do? im a big planner so i understand your frustration about how slow moving this process can be... but now that you have your target in sight you just gotta keep steady. you said two years minimum? focus every ounce of energy in to making it EXACTLY two years. not more. less if you can do something like summer classes.

thats the best step you can take mate.