Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1599. page
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>Diagnosed with aspergers as a kid
>given a lot of aid, but none of it seems to be of any use
>it's just the same basic social ques and implications being told to me that I already know
>I am continuously reminded to try to make more friends and receive contact information in case of need
>I don't really have the motivation to go out there and become more social
>I am supposed to be "enticed" with small amounts of money money for my efforts (about $5 per contact), but it doesn't really to much for me
I want to be motivated to socialize more, but I don't know how
>pic unrelated
>>16792753
> Gets paid to make friends
Fuck if I were you I would chat up anyone and everyone and make some spending money, even though I'm a shy and not talkative person at all.
>>16792830
this
>>16792830
>>16792833
I wish I had that confidence and greater appreciation for even small amounts of cash. Sadly, I am not one wish such qualities. Might there be another method through which I could become motivated?
Hey /adv/
Has anyone ever used one of these massage chairs at their computer/desk? It seems like it would be incredibly comfortable, but just wanted to hear first hand experience before I drop 50 bucks.
Thanks
Are you on drugs or something?
>dats 1 weird mushroom trip
Go for it, make sure you get the vibrating model. I've been using it for years. would buy again.
>>16792781
My mistake. I mean a massage chair like one pictured in the OP.
More of a professional, forward leaning massage chair.
What should I do
Option 1 - move out
Pros
> Wont have to see my stupid fucked family who is always in my grill all the time
> Be able to cut off deadbeat leech of a dad
> Probably can bring girls home (hahaha, just kidding)
Cons
> have to start paying rent
> need to buy
> would have to cook dinners (I can, but I'm lazy)
> Lose access to car, so public transit everywhere
Option 2 - don't move out
Pros
> Save money for grad school
> Get car and condo (which I will need to pay mortgage for in the future, but is currently being rented out)
Cons
>Slowly die on the inside
>Have 0 literal savings because my dad is a constant fuck up and needs to borrow money from me to keep the family running (currently has borrowed 35k, with no end in sight)
What would you do /adv/ ?
Shit, I meant to write
>need to buy a ton of things to be self sustainable like mattress, pots/pans, ironing board, etc.
sigh
Guys I've fucked up real bad, so i'm 19 told my boss 3 months from now, going to quit and go to school. I lied I'm not going anywhere I don't even have my g2 license.. for driving a car.. I should have roughly 8000$ deducting all my bills and such.. what do I do? I thought about joining the union..
Join the army.
Become a carpenter
>>16792715
Well what are you good at? To quote the Joker from The Dark Knight, "If you're good at something, never do it for free".
Lets talk drugs that have either helped you or hurt you. Tell us what happened to go the drug route. What triggers you. What your symptoms are and what the drugs have done for you. Im 32 male and I dont use psych drugs often. What I get is severe mood swings, depression, lots of anxiety. I stop eating and sleeping when it gets bad. Its always a tragedy in the family that triggers it. Death of a parent, being lied to and cheated on by a spouse that sort of thing. Ive been on 40mg Prozac at my peak. Made me feel very fatigued after feeling energized for the first two weeks. IDGAF about anything kind of mood. Very intense orgasms (awesome). But had to stop due to constant fatigue. Switched to Wellbutrin. Fucking intense dreams. Changed my sense of taste. The vivid dreaming forced me to stop. Im going to the Dr. tomorrow. Im gonna tell him that I have anxiousness accompanied by depression with mood swings ranging from a crying baby to violent and irrational. Just recently came across some news two weeks ago that broke me. I talked to a counselor already.
Prozac also took away the cravings to drink. I drink alot. While on Prozac hardly ever drank. Just didnt feel like it.
Bumpin. This is a legit topic rather than the 15 yr olds who cant talk to girls.
Step one Alprazolam
Step two antidepressants that let you have boners, like agomelatine and other, really expensive, good shit
I am a very bitter person /adv/. I am very resentful that I am 25 years old and never had a girlfriend. I am resentful that I apparently don't have what it takes to attract a female.
Its just so shitty because all I want is a girlfriend who isn't fat or retarded. THATS IT. It drives me crazy because I feel like I am not asking for much.
What can be done? I can't even find women my age anymore to date. This city is fucking CANCER if you want to date within your age range.
I need help. Badly. I feel like my mind isn't healthy and the only way to make it better would be to have meaningful contact with women.
Am I on the right track?
>>16792690
Well, are you fat or retarded? Do you have poor fashion sense or looked like you walked into a wall? Post a pic.
>>16792890
I am not fat or retarded.
>>16792896
So poor fashion sense AND it looks like you walked into a wall?
Not all girls are turned on simply because a guy isn't fat or retarded.
So I've been harassed by this asshole for weeks now and he keeps trying to pick me up. And I've told him politely and rudely to stop calling me or texting me. Will 4chan be willing to send this guys phone the best grotesque things you have? I have his number.
Pic is unrelated. Just random pic.
>>16792658
>So I've been harassed by this asshole for weeks now
call the police
/thread
>>16792658
Put your big girl panties on and ignore his calls, or hang up if he calls. Walk by him if he gives you any talking.
Need advice on the female psyche
>working at this one place
>going in doing my thing every day
>at the time I was trying to get to know one girl in marketing
>going for coffee with her and new girl who just started working there steps in elevator
>there's clearly a lightning bolt moment between me and this new girl
>quickly forget about the initial girl I had been having coffee with
>become friendly with new girl
>fall in love every aspect of her
>decide I have to do this and ask her out
>wild boyfriend appears
>feels ensue
>go on with life and just remain friendly at work with her
>after a little while get on with life and start dating someone else
>don't really mention I'm dating to anyone but family
>go to this party with a group of people who me and the work girl are mutually connected with
>work girl is there and waiting for me
>sees GF and it's instantly weird
>found out her BF had gone to a strip club and she was super pissed with him. she came alone.
>me and gf go do our thing and work girl does hers at the party
>find out work girl stayed with BF after that
>eventually break up with my GF for reasons unrelated
>meet up with work girl sometimes
>so many feels still
>work goes to shit and I move cities
>decide I just can't deal with my feelings for her still and all the other stuff going on in my life and tell her I'm heading out and that I just feel award continuing to be in contact with her because I like her.
to be continued
>>16792640
>1.5 years go by
>go to new city for kind of shitty job
>job doesn't work out in the end
>career is a no go because of oil price
>basically unemployed and no prospects
>go on facebook. keeps asking if I know work girl
>finally give in and contact her
>talk a bit and agree to meet up some time soon when I visit her city or she mine
>Yesterday had interview in her city
>meet up after for drinks and dinner
>she's single now
>we get to talking about our lives
>I tell her how fucked mine has been recently
>hers has been opposite
>we mesh so well while talking and its fun
>she wants to move to city C where I once lived
>I give advice
>She asks if I'd ever go back there
>I say if I could I probably would
>we go walk to my car after
>just talk about dreams and stuff we'd like to do
>she says how its nice to have someone to walk with on a nice evening
>ask if I can drive her home
>she says to just drop her at subway station
>feel bad
>even she's single now but doesn't even want me to drive her home
>just want to be near her
>feel like I'm busting at the seams with that feeling
to be continued
>>16792641
>drive her to subway station
>just feels so casual
>she does ask me to let her know I drove back to my city okay
>I tell her she doesn't need to worry about a guy like me who can take care of himself
>get home and text her though
I really want to say something to her about how I feel once again but I feel like I did that once and if anyone should be saying something it should be her now. I feel like the ball was left in her court. Maybe she just wants a guy who has their shit together. I just can't help how it is now for me though. I am in a very specialized field that is taking the biggest beating its had in 35 years. I just can feel how right we are together and I know from the little things she says she knows it on some level too. I mean what should I do? Do I tell her I, a guy with no job* (*I did get a shitty low paying one to pay bills actually), living in another city wants to be with her? Does she just want someone that'll offer security and the spark between us is secndary to her? Is it just that she isn't secure enough to say something? Or just doesn't want this? I mean like I said I felt the ball is in her court to say something about it this time. But I'm certain she reciprocates at least unconsciously. I'm not even that young but it feels the same as being in love with someone at 17. Like you feel like you're gonna die if you're not with them.
>>16792640
>>16792641
>>16792657
No more self hate. That's step one. WAAAA your job isn't going so well. I had my life on track too, my controlling parents went apeshit, I did something to spite them, and I paid the consequences for it. Then I graduated into the Recession. Then I had to live with them for two years to survive. Then I moved cities with a friend to try at a better life. Now I'm stuck in a job I hate that pays the bills, my friend did not have the guts and character that I originally thought, and I'm staring a life of meaningless work for a paycheck like fucking Fight Club while my controlling parents apologize profusely now that they realized how fucking hard they fucked me up in their quest to "protect me."
We are doing no one any good by hating. This is your life, shitty oil prices and all, and we have to fucking own it. So that's step 1.
Step 2 is to decide if you actually want to pursue this girl. It sounds to me like you know you're falling for her romantically but that you're holding back because of job, life shit, etc.
personally, love is worth it. If she doesn't love you even though the Saudis want to pump oil.... then she obviously isn't that great of a catch. But what will probably happen once you get off your emo self hate is that you'll pursue her as a man instead of an insecure boy and who knows what will happen then... possibly the best time of your life.
I think it would be good to go more outside but i have no idea what to do once im outside. I only leave my room to go to university or to go to the supermarket and buy booze and cigarettes.
I have all the things i need here in my room: my pc, my bed, cigarettes and booze. Haven't been to a party since i was 18 (so for 6 years lol) and my contact to females is limited to the prostitutes i visit from time to time. I meet my friends at university for a few hours and thats it.
What do you do when you leave your comfy zone?
>>16792636
im in a similar situation.
unsure of how to hang out with people/what to do with them.
i usually just play videogames/browse the internet... i cant do that with other people :/
>>16792636
Usually I just find good places to sit down and think. For me, quieter, more isolated areas with pretty views are ideal.
>>16792636
Just going for a simple walk is always nice.
No real reason or destination, just walking around checking things out, clear your mind
Nature trails are always nice
A lot of rec centers have pick-up sports if you're so inclined
Go to a zoo, a museum or art gallery
Go see some live music or got to a carnival or fair or farmers market or some shit
It could be anything man. Getting outside is always a good idea
Perfectionism is ruining my life. It's something I've always struggled with in retrospect, but I've gone back to college this year in particular and I can never get anything in on time, even if everything is practically ready. One of my most recent assignments I had everything done but typing it up, days ahead of the submission date, but I ended up spending that time utterly frozen, with my fingers hovering over my keyboard because the words just wouldn't come out 'right', until I ended up throwing something together just before submissions closed, after which point it was already late. I struggle to even send emails to tutors looking for help because I'm afraid I'll say something stupid. Worst of all is how supportive and encouraging all my friends are - they have no idea that practically everything I've submitted has been late or that I don't know how I'm doing because I'm too afraid to look at any of my feedback on what I have submitted. They just keep telling me how proud of me they are and how well I'm going to do and I feel like they're expecting something of me I've already failed to deliver which makes me feel like I shouldn't even bother anymore. Would looking into therapy or cbt or something help?
Yes, it definitely would. Best to start asap: the earlier the intervention, the better.
>>16792624
Thanks anon, I'll get on that so.
are you a grill
It's Valentines Day on Sunday and I'm a bit confused.
I met a girl online and last sunday we went to the cinema for our first date, we cuddled after like 1/2 of the movie and after I drove her back home we kissed.
Now I invited her to go to a restaurant on sunday (valentines day), and her response was "i would really really like to" but then she said "we could also do something else, whatever"
and then she was like "maybe we can look for some cool activity that we can do this sunday" and I'm like what.
Then I thought about inviting her to my home after dinner or to order food and watch a movie at my home, but wouldn't that be too much for a 2nd date? I don't want her to think that I already want to have sex with her, because that's not even the case. I mean I wouldn't say no, but that's not my intention.
Any ideas for some cool/romantic activities for valentines day?
>>16792576
Chill out bro. She didn't she wants to have sex either. Sometimes girls say they want to watching movies and it's exactly they wanted it to be. Clearly as we heard it. Some girls do like cooking or eating or watching movies together,it's not the case. It's the way you feel about her. Is she a hore?
Where do I go from here?
>be me, 18, freshman in college
>never been in a relationship, but extroverted, 5
6/10 appearance, tall as fuk
>Saturday night with the squad, drinking and shooting the shit
>be drunk as fuck talking to 10/10 qt I've had a crush on all year
>tell her I've never kissed anyone
>she kisses me
>her tongue in my mouth
>boner
>today, Wednesday
>I've texted her 3 times this week, no answer
>unsure if she even remembers
>never been more into her
>can't sleep
>have her cough now
I'm ridiculously hung up on this girl, friends, and I don't know what's going on
>>16792558
I'm thinking she might have just chalked it up to doing something crazy when she was drunk and maybe regretting it. Maybe not. But play it cool from here on out. 1 text is enough. 3 is on the line for desperate. You look best by seeming secure with yourself.
Honestly just understanding that there will be times when someone isn't into you and even vice versa goes a long way in life. If you go out there not concerning yourself with impressing other people and worrying about what they think, you'll act much more honest to who you can be at your best. Make the jokes you feel like even about girls you're interested in, go track down the bill that's taking forever to get delivered to your table, if you want to open a door for a girl just do it and smile and treat it like it was nothing. If you do that they will love you for not being an insecure kid. I mean the same with asking them out after that. Just ask, if they say no just understand it's fine. There's 3.5 billion women on the planet. You're bound to meet someone who will be into you if you just be true to who you want to be. Does that help?
i know this.
friend, drop it like it's an isis affiliate. don't even bother thinking about the whole thing for a second.
>>16792777
the other thing was it's good you followed up. I feel like if you are into someone you should at least make some effort to move it forward. I think were people go wrong is harping on it too much. Sometimes when you go fishing you know within a few casts the fish aren't there and so you move to another location and try again, not casting 100 times in the same spot where nothing is happening. The other thing is that even getting friendzoned can be a positive thing if you take it with the right attitude. Women have girlfriends after all. You just don't want to be the fallback guy for a girl and you don't even get introduced to her friends. That is never a good situation... well sometimes you get the self esteem sex out of it but not in a long term sort of way.
Hello /adv/ here is the situation
>On a 4 year relationship with a gf I love and she loves me back
>Basically our sex life is non-existent
>I'm horny all the time
>there is that MILF that always hits on me, and would surely have sex with me if I asked her
>Don't want to break up with my girlfriend, but I'm very horny and fapping dosen't help me anymore.
>>16792551
Tell your gf about your problems instead of randoming virgins on a chinese imageboard
>>16792551
No.
>>16792551
Don't be a fucking coward. Talk to your girlfriend about your sex life and what you need in the relationship. If that won't work out, break things off, and THEN go prowling for ass.
I'm 34 M. Is it bad that I get carded when I order a drink? Me and a bunch of coworkers went out (some younger some older). I was the only one carded. Do you consider that to be insulting or flattering?
If you're 34 and you still unsure how to feel about basic trivial shit like this, I don't know what to say.
>>16792517
post a picture.
age itself means nothing. there are plenty of ugly young people. there are plenty of ugly old people
post a of you right now, a quick shot of yourself, and well tell you whether its insulting or not.
Sounds like they just wanted to randomly card 1 person and you were picked
problem here problem her I do really love her. But the sex is kinda vanilla. Have talked about this allready and it has changed for the better slightly. But it's still not what I'm used to and I would like her to be more active and spontaneous cause it allways has to come from me.I do really love her. But the sex is kinda vanilla. Have talked about this allready and it has changed for the better slightly. But it's still not what I'm used to and I would like her to be more active and spontaneous cause it allways has to come from me. Im the first guy to make her cum and I know she doesnt have a lot of experience but her learning curve is kinda slow and im at a point a rather jack myself of than having the same sex as the past 2 Years. Any way to fix this any advice?
communicate, like you said talking about what you want improves the sex.
Communicate to her what exactly you want her to do and if she loves you she'll do it
Talk to her about it and give her time. Don't have a mid-high expectation from someone with little experience. In my relationship, I fucking sucked having sex and making out for the first year. I'm her second boyfriend and she's my first, so she probably had someone way better than I at first. Took some time and now the sex is great after getting more comfortable and satisfying our fetishes. Speak to her about your fetishes, anything.
>>16792614
I did but she says she is not comfortable doing what I want and I allways do my best to let her feel that's okay to be nasty in between the sheets but she doesnt really feel comfortable doing so. The last girl I slept with was a total freak. Like slamming her ass in to me and saying things like I need your dick now and cum on me. And when she sucked that D she was sucking like there was no tomorrow. Now when I finally have somebody I want to go steady with I would like the sex to be like this as well. But she puts up this shy face and then stutters out f-f-fuck me tries it once or twice and kinda forgets about it. Now I do really love her but im getting kinda annoyed by it and it is seeping in to our daily lives and I was hoping I could avoid that
