Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1574. page
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Can I end a sex relationship without ruining a friendship?
Not too long ago I got out of a long term relationship. I wasn't looking but a friend (he's gay, I'm bi) hit me up saying we could mess around if I needed to blow off steam. I told him flat out that I'm not looking to date or have a relationship. I wanted some kinky sex (and i told him exactly what) and that was it. We end up doing it and told me he loved me and it was just gentle sweet stuff. Which isn't awful, but not what I wanted. I asked him to leave afterwards, and since then he's been blowing up my phone, asking when he can take me out, etc. He's a good friend, but absolutely not what I want right now. How can I tell him no?
Does your girlfriend know?
>>16798697
...about what?
>>16798702
About you being half faggot and cheating on her with your faggot friend?
Would you date a person with a genetic disorder?
The resulting offspring would be more to have health problems, but not necessarily.
How important do you value a potential outcome, if at all?
Any input would be appreciated, as I never really had to consider this before.
I find myself falling for a person, but wouldn't want to put (any) children through something like that. (chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis, if anyone's curious).
>>16798673
Yeah I would date someone like that. Plus no kids mean riduclas amounts of money to spend on your relationship and you.
Or fuck if you really want screaming tea cup humans that bad just go adopt. There is a ton without parents at all and they would appreciate it.
>>16798673
Nope
Weak genes dont deserve love
>>16798721
/pol/ pls
For some background, this is my brother's life for the last couple years:
> move about an hour away to go to college
> immediately meets girl, she essentially starts living at his place
> gets arrested and thrown in jail for a night for vandalizing college property (spray painted stupid shit, also had a pocket knife so he had a "concealed weapon on school property, gun/knife/etc" charge tacked on
> continues to fuck up, dropping and failing classes
> drags feet in dealing with court case
> keep in mind that his rent and utilities and groceries and court costs are all being paid for by our parents
> about 18 months later his case is finally resolved and record expunged
> he and girlfriend get cat
> he and girlfriend get puppy
> he and girlfriend break up
> complains of stomach pains
> he moves back home
> sleeps until at least noon every day
> me and parents continuously finding empty liquor and beer bottles stashed around the house/in his room
> he claims to not be drinking it (???)
> refuses to have a discussion about it, just says "fuck you" to parents and shuts himself in his room when they bring it up
I'm pretty much done with the whole situation. I have no options. My parents won't continue to argue with him about it because he's irrational and flies off the handle, to the point of walking outside in the pouring rain yelling about how no one respects him etc etc. I'm not going to bring it up with him because I'm honestly afraid he'll try to hurt me. No one is going to involve the police or any kind of help in that direction because it's more trouble than it's worth, not to mention if he was committed I'm sure it would either break him or he would kill himself. I'm tired of trying to bridge the gap between him and my parents, both sides apparently don't know how to deal with this. He needs help, my parents need help, I need help.
bump for help on an issue that doesn't relate to muh gf
>>16798661
Let your parents find him a cheap apartment, pay the first few months rent in advance, and tell him in no uncertain terms that he can not move back in with them again. And stick to it.
>>16798823
And then watch as he turns the place into a shithole and drinks himself to death? And/or gets evicted because he can't pay his own rent? Letting him go off on his own with no supervision is partly how this whole downward spiral began, I can't see it being the way out.
Hi. I need to find a name for a webcomic. Can toy help me?
What are you looking for?
A fantasy comic name
>>16798650
a specific one or are you working on one?
I love 2 boys and they mean the absolute world to me. One boy I've been with for a couple of years but is jealous and doesn't really give me the freedom I want, but always tells me I can do whatever I want. Another boy comes into my life and isn't jealous and lets me do what I want. Well, I date both boys and it's fine but then I start to feel torn and I feel like I have to love one more than the other and the jealous bf gets upset at me and threatens to breakup with me because I love the other boy too. I break up with the other boy who isn't jealous but keep him by my side and we still act lovey but I'm afraid to date him again. Did I do the wrong thing?
>>16798631
You're a fucking whore. Jesus you couldn't just stick to one guy? You had to toy with their hearts? You're a fucking worthless whore.
>>16798631
You shouldn't have dated the other guy in the first place, that's cheating. Jealousy is healthy in a relationship, not trying to sound mean here but, if you were dating 2 guys at the same time... Then the first guy had legit reasons to act the way he did.
The one guy I was with for a couple of years just got boring and our relationship was dying. This new guy was so refreshing and he is so sweet, he is sticky at times and has issues, but I still love him
Thinking about studying Film and Directing at a college in my country's capital. Is it worth it? Will I have an intersting fun job or live with my parents for the rest of my unemployed life?
>>16798622
depends on if you have a real passion for it and if you actually have the skills to help with producing films. a lot of people who do film based courses think it will be easy.
If you dont have a passion then you will just bring everyone else down as you have to work in a team and you won't have much to offer. I have a friend who is really passionate about film making so i know a bit.
It's possible, but you have to be realistic. Find a job you can do other than directing, because even if all goes well, it will really take some time to build a career as a director and start making money.
Learn how to do lighting, or sound, or work with cameras, something that will put you on set, getting experience and making contacts in your field. If you work hard and learn quickly, it's really not that crazy to make a living doing things like this. I've been doing lighting for 6 years, freelancing as a gaffer/grip, and it's a pretty good living. I'm in New York so there might be more work available in my area than yours, but the cost of living is also ridiculously high, so it pretty much balances out
How do you get someone to open up?
Do you just have to 'be there' for them and hope they eventually feel safe to speak their mind?
I have been in a relationship for several months and my girlfriend tends to shut me out when she is troubled by something.
We other-wise communicate pretty well.. I just feel helpless - and occasionally paranoid - when all I get is "I'm okay TTYL".
As long as there is nothing going on to make you worried about her mental or physical well being then you should be fine. Some people are just kinda distant and that's how they do. As her partner you just gotta accept that's how she is with her emotions or dump her.
I have this same problem, but with my guy friends. My girlfriend and girl friends, they open up and talk about serious shit all the time, and it's nice. Intimacy (not sexual, but emotional) is something we all crave - from both sexes - and I just don't have it with my guy friends, save for a couple. And I consider them my best friends, so that's a factor.
It just takes some time, I suppose. Don't give up or shut down.
>>16798582
Have you done anything to make her question the trust in the relationship? Otherwise it's just time mate.
You say you guys communicate well other-wise and unless you think it has something to do with the relationship, it might be her personality to deal with problems herself. She'll open up eventually.
I have a sleep disorder that causes me to subconsciously moan, i live alone but a friend wanted me to stay i plan to stay awake for 3 days any tips? Too scared to sleep.
Just explain it. Everybody knows what sleep apnea is so the transition to your specific condition should be easy. Just be like "Btw, lol, I have this weird sleep condition where the air escapes from my throat passage as a kind of groan." Hopefully they'll be asleep when you sleep, but if they do hear it, they'll realize by "groan" you meant "moan". It's a funny condition (I know somebody who has it) but only the biggest asshole ever would hold it against you.
>>16798584
Thanks I guess it's really embarrassing but I hope it's not held against me.
>>16798567
Hey, there's a good chance they snore or talk in their sleep.
Is it okay to talk to a girl when she's with her orbiter?
>>16798548
No, wait till he leaves the orbit and then jump right in his place
>>16798551
Some guys orbit girls for a long time though.
>>16798548
Bump.
I'm a second year of my current college, and its becoming busier lately as my deadline coming right up. The thing is, this my story..
Please tell me... I have been keep myself from hitting someone since I got labeled as the "black sheep" among my family. Its because brother saying that I'm the one who always fault at something happen and decide to hit me... I manage to tell this problem to my family, it looks like my family too, lecture me for doing the same thing... so I decide to change, the way they want. But the result is still the same, I kept hitting by my brother for doing a simple mistake. It's been 10 years, but still none of this change... please... someone, tell me what should I do? He's 3 years older than me... I too have tried to kill him, but apparently, he's not someone worth to kill for...
Go die you edgy teenager.
You wanna kill somebody? Aim at your wrist and cut away.
>>16798497
You're just an asshole. Grow the fuck up.
>>16798497
Grow the fuck up
If you're 18 (likely not) just fucking leave you pansy
I met this guy 20 minutes ago in a gay chatroom and arranged a meeting to suck him off. this is my first time. what should I do?
>>16798496
You should probably suck him off. Don't forget about the balls.
>>16798503
I meant what should I do so I dont get kidnapped, murdered etc.
>>16798496
>let someone know where youll be going (no need to tell them about the suck off)
> leave a note at home, easily found, (on the off chance of kidnapping) which states where youre going and with whom (maybe even pic of guy if you have it)
>take a weapon with you (i like knives and brass knuckles but guns and pepper spray works too) in case you need to beat that faggut up and take his $$$ if he tries some shit
> meet in a public place for drinks or whatever (this is to feel him out and make sure no creepo)
>if you can swing it, take him to a place youve pickec out for the suck off (ie: hotel)
> watch your drink and dont take anything he offers lest you be cosbied
>loosen your jaw so you wont get tired when sucking that cock
>set boundaries beforehand (ex: you can put your fist in me but only up to your elbow, etc....)
>and lastly, have fun with it. A cock in the mouth is worth two in the butt
Hey, I want to hopefully become big on either myanimelist or the anime side of YouTube. I haven't really made much videos yet, but I'd like your guys' opinions on my reviewing technique.
Link: http://myanimelist.net/profile/Brightning/reviews
I'm aspiring for a sort of comedic approach. Any sort of feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Have this picture of Karen as my way of payment, kek
You're quite an anime buff huh
I'm miserable at my current university; I have no friends, I spend days not eating and sleeping all day, I'm miserable, and I'm doing terrible in school because of it (3.1 GPA, 4 and soon to be 5 withdraws within 2 years). I haven't been suicidal since I was 20, but now I'm there again.
I live 2 hours away from my friends, and my best two are moving into the city near where they live. I live in the middle of nowhere in my college town, and that's one of the things I hate... I want to be in the city so bad and it's all I've wanted for a long time. I could move out with them and potentially transfer to the university in that city... and I wouldn't even lose many credits at all... if any, really.
Should I pull one of them aside and ask them about moving out with them? Or should I stick it out here and try my best to complete my degree? I am fairly certain that I can achieve a higher GPA at this new institution.
>>16798467
My situation is much like yours...... try to see if one of your friends would ablige you.... and whatever u do do not get gf she will ruin your plan to leave the uni
>>16798467
I'm on the same boat, but I'm enjoying t more now. Since I have no friends, I have more time to correct my GPA. I have a 2.4, although it should jump up to a bit over 3.0 after this semester if all goes well. 3.1 sounds fine, you're looking at it too grim.
Here are the important things:
>you're still in your major
>you have a nice place to sleep, shower, eat and study
You sound stressed is all. Seek counseling. It can always be worse.
>>16798556
It's worse than you think; someone who is merely stressed out does not spend multiple days not even eating and just laying in bed.
I also grew up poor with no money, and had a miserable childhood with abusive parents. College was going to be my chance, but I've fucked it all up. I was lucky enough to find someone who is gracious enough to mentor me and basically handed me a good life on a silver platter... something I've always wanted. That person is a VP at a hedge fund and wants to help me get into the business.
A 3.1 GPA will NEVER cut it in finance, ever. I could potentially transfer to this new school and get a high institutional GPA, but my GPA is always going to hover around 3.1, as I have 130 credits of 180 already.
So, yeah... I'm stressed out and angry at myself also because I am destroying my opportunity to get something most people out of college would do anything to get even a chance at.
How can an introverted pushover type person who got around in life with help from more experienced people be more independent?
I would like to say if i tried harder in high school I wouldve achieved more especially when I really feel like i was just getting by with decent scores. I got my first job because of my dad and now that he is no longer connected to that company i am at a lost, like literally i've always been directed towards a direction and just learn to follow through.
Goals I know I need to obtain but not quite sure how:
-Get a job (I don't even know where to start looking)
-Finish College (I dropped out because of how lax and free the college system is compared to what i was used to)
-Move out (Probably the most distant goal in mind but I'd probably feel a lot better knowing I'm not a waste of life)
I've tried going directly to my parents and counselors but I still feel like it's not as clear to me as before. If someone can give me advice on what I should prioritize or where to start it would help me a lot.
selfless bump
I have an unhealthy tendency to seek validation with others, which has landed me in damaging relationships more times than I can count.
I just cut contact with a girl who more or less used me like a surrogate boyfriend. After initially telling me she wasn't interested in dating me, she begged me to stay friends with her and said she didn't want to lose me, so that got me to stick around. Turns out it was mostly because she didn't really have any other friends at the time and once she got her social life back together, I was a non-entity to her.
I decided she wasn't worth the love I came to feel for her. That I deserved way better than how she treated me. I just want to make sure this never happens again. I gotta learn how not to need anyone else like that. I never want to fall for anything like what happened with us again. Not ever.
How do I focus inward and build that self-validation?
You don't do jackshit. You learn from your experience and avoid the same mistake. Also you fill your life with content. Something that keeps you interested and what makes you an interesting person.
