Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1345. page
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![avoid_the_cycle_of_chronic_insomnia_poor_sleep_and_exhaustion[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/BWXnfTR.jpg "avoid the cycle of chronic insomnia poor sleep and exhaustion[1]")
How the fuck do I fix my sleep?
>be NEET
>go to bed most nights at around 4, sometimes much later if it's really bad
>stayed up 24 hours the other day to see if I could fix it but nope, tonight I still can't fall asleep early
>go to the gym every day to try and exhaust myself but nope
>somehow always manage to fall asleep on the sofa in the afternoon if I'm watching TV
>always feel tired and lazy throughout the day
>even if I feel a bit tired and try to go to bed early I just end up stressing myself out and thinking too much
Once again I've just given up trying to sleep after an hour of just laying there, yet I still feel tired.
You still have a choice. That's the problem.
There are lots of people in this world who have no business making decisions for themselves.
Had the same problem, the issue being the room is way too quiet.
Have you heard of/tried White Noise or Background Noise players (A Soft Murmur)? They play calming noises like rain, wind, campfire, busy cafe, etc.
It helped me focus on the noise and not some fucking embaressing moments from 8th grade. Im a very big head-thinker, which doesnt help.
Also, turn off TVs, Computers, Phones, and Screens. You will sleep better in complete darkness, as opposed to being 90% of the population and staring at a fucking light all night and complaining.
I have the same problem, I tried the 24 hour thing three times and always fell asleep during the day after because I'm so sleep deprived, don't lay in bed during the daytime.
Any advice on using it?
Im trying to make beats, i've been looking a tutorials and im so far kinda good with it.
And by kinda im terrible. Any beat makers on 4chan?
>>16904611
Tutorials listen to music and make songs
Takes years
I've been thinking about killing myself for a long time.
I'm fucking exhausted. I was born in a small yuropoor country and I've been always taught that to be happy I should make some friends, get a girlfriend, find a good job and create a family.
When I was in highschool I decided that I'll try to be one of the 'alphas'. I went to the parties, drank alcohol, smoked weed and that kind of stuff. I was trying to pretend to be a narcisstic extrovert and it worked.
And now I can't take it anymore. Any traces of my true personality have vanished - I hang out with people I dislike, I have a girlfriend which I don't love (and we'll probably break up when I'll tell her that I have phimosis) and I wear clothes that I wouldn't even look at. I've become a social god, but talking to people started to be more exhausting than my job.
Advice like 'just do what you really want to do' is useless, because I no longer know what I want to do. I'm just tired of everything and just staying at home is just as bad as going to the party and talking to all these masculine dudes and dumb sluts.
I have no hobbies, no passions - I used to love video games, movies, books, skiing, programming and now nothing interests me. I can't force myself to do any of this stuff. I tried new things and none of them interested me.
The truth is that I was always worried what other people think about me. When I started considering suicide my first thought was 'how should I do it to not be rememered as a fag'.
Help.
>>16904593
Please seek psychiatric help
Regaining your old self will be hard.I was in simular boots as you. Spend more time with your parents try doing things you liked as a kid it may spark your old self back.
>>16904598
>do you have any ambitions in your life?
>no i don't
>you'll have to find one
Didn't really work
>>16904606
>Spend more time with your parents
I'll give it a shot. I haven't seen them in a long time.
How does one go about embracing their creative side? Like writing, drawing, painting, etc.
My brain feels like a huddled mass of so many ideas and concepts waiting to be put to paper or canvas but I can't seem to sort all of it out into anything coherent. It's all tidbits. I want to be able to pick apart my mind and write something thoughtful, or craft an image expressing my innermost thoughts, but I feel like I have no creativity whatsoever. What can I do to be more creative?
>>16904586
That's the purpose of art, to transpose the 'huddled mass' of ideas in your mind into a medium that you can use to clarify them. It sounds to me like you're waiting for inspiration, well don't, if what you're creating is shit it's not because you're uninspired, it's because you're not proficient enough in whatever artform you've chosen to properly convey what have in your mind. Instead of asking for advice on how to be more creative, you should be asking for advice on how to improve your craft.
the best way to go about it is go out their and do shit. Pick up that pen, write down that thought, express your ideas.
What's a good spooky movie to watch with a girl?
>>16904577
American Psycho
>>16904580
Already seen it
I am in a relatively well-paying job that takes 80-90 hours per week and basically is 90% of my life. It has been getting increasingly destabilising emotionally and physically. As a result, I have very few friends and things that make me happy - music, gym and swimming, but in the last few months the work has taken away a large share of that as well. How do I avoid getting miserable or crazy? I feel like I could snap very soon, so would really appreciate your advice.
Take a vacation if you can, or request a day off or call in sick one day if you can't.
Break up the rhythm. Play hookie and step away from the monotony and mounting pressure, and do the things you want to do.
People in your situation have to be extraordinarily decisive about planning and making good on their recreational time. Your experiences make sense given the situation but we don't live in a fantasy world where you can just drop this lucrative position to go live out of a van. I also acknowledge that it's not as simple as snapping one's fingers to make a good work-life balance appear. I'm sorry that there's no magic answer in that regard. However there's also no other way to stumble into a solution. It only gets worse from here if you let it. You either get insanely detailed and strategic with how your time is spent or you burn out.
>>16904575
Fuck you need a vacation. Seriously like at this very moment, preferably far away from your work.
What is the fastest way of resetting your sleep schedule?
I live a really good life when I go to bed 21 and wake up at 5-6. I live a really shit life otherwise.
And when I do mess up, I have no good way of fixing it.
Since I am not young anymore, i get stupidly tired if I try to stay awake on day 2.
>>16904559
Turn off all screens at least an hour before you want to go to bed: no tv, no laptop, no desktop, no phone, no tablet, no media player, no handheld console, no smartwatch, nothing. If you're bored read a book or masturbate or something. You might be able to get away with an e-ink tablet, i don't know
then go to bed
then wake up
after 2 weeks you'll be a functioning human being but you still won't be allowed to use screens before bedtime because it'll just fuck you up again
>>16904594
Silly person
>>16904594
Pretty much this.
Too many friends/roommates/family I know complain about "Ugh I cant ever sleep, I dont feel tired, etc." while staring at a bright ass screen, sometimes sitting up at 1am.
The basic list I would reccomend is
>No bright lights/screens before 'going to bed'
>use your bed for sleeping only. No eating, gaming, etc. This will make you brain eventually view bed=sleep, and not bed=sleep,eating,hobby,activity
>chamomile tea and warm milk help to feel sleepy
>if you enjoy it, use White Noise or an online Background Noise player
>sleeping naked or as close as possible feels more natural. Fuzzy PJs work too.
>dont sleep in the clothes you wore that day. Ever. Not only stopping back acne and sores, youll feel much cleaner naked or in pajamas
This is just a strict list ive used to stop living a NEET life of sleeping 3am-9pm
I've done nothing all day and feel drained, my power is waning by the moment
How do I fight the hex that some witch has put on me?
I've been working all day trying to get a shitty database to load a shitty 158 GB mal-formatted csv file. I also called my bank, and signed a contract for a new apartment in the evening, and im not even sure if it was the broker or the seller who made me buy an overpriced rats nest with money i don't have.
Im tired, but i can't stop my strive for perfection in life. I get drained by all my thoughts.
>>16904556
Start working out man. You'll find you have more energy. Plus it's enjoyable
You might try not hanging out with fucking witches all the time, bruh.
my boyfriend has a very bad home situation: only eats once a day, house infested with cockroaches and rats, and a verbally and sometimes physically abusive father. I just so happen to live across the country from him (yes i have met him irl and spent a lot of time with him) and running away isn't illegal in both of our states. He's considering running away at this point because it's gotten so bad, but he's 17 and won't be 18 for 10 months so my family and I could get in trouble for letting him stay. He's considering stealing money to buy a bus ticket here so he can be safe. Should he and I actually go through with this?
>>16904553
He's brave enough to run away but not brave enough to make a legal action? Sorry to say that, but running away from anything is a sign of immaturity.
Let's say hypothetically you are an amateur actor or actress. You are given a chance to be the lead role in a reboot or remake of your favorite television show. After reading the script you realize that this remake will pretty much rape the original. Would you still act in it?
No.
>>16904544
Any context why?
Wife and I have been together for 7 years now (married for 4) and we recently had a miscarriage
>she told me she used the spermicide gel we've used for years
>later realize she lied (haven't and don't plan on confronting her about it)
>ends up missing period
>confirm she's pregnant
>go to 10wk appointment
>blighted ovum (amniotic sac formed but child didn't)
>she miscarriages
>now wants to try again
I've been adamant about NEVER wanting children.
It was literally the topic of conversation when we met for the first time years ago
I feel she betrayed me by lying about not using the gel (we've used it for years and I've always withdrawn, except for the one time she asked me not to which led to the pregnancy)
>I'm 28
>She's 26
Should I just end it now instead of continuing down this road into an unhealthy marriage?
We love each other and have great relationship outside of this issue, no other major argument in 7 years
>tldr: we both stated never wanting children, she's STRONGLY changed her mind after an accidental pregnancy that ended in miscarriage
How did you find out she lied?
If you're considering divorce over this then do it. Also learn your lesson and don't marry.
>>16904533
The applicator was broken so we bought a new tube, I tossed the old one, and then looked at the new one after we had realized it hadn't been used.
She knows I know, plus she told me to not pullout on the calculated conception date
Throughout my entire life, I've never fully understood music. It's just been background noise for me.
I've asked friends, family, strangers; why do you like music? The response is usually the same–it sparks different emotions and reminds them of better/worse times.
I have spent countless hours, nearly every day, listening to music. Just trying to understand the appeal. I still **don't** get it.
What am I supposed to be feeling? It's just sound.
I also can't picture things in my head, so maybe there's a correlation there. My dreams are just touch/smell sensations. What's wrong with me, /adv/? I want to be normal.
Sounds like you have some kind of legitimate mental inhibition. Not trying to be a jerk here.
>>16904507
What can I do about it? I've considered taking shrooms to see if it'll change anything.
>>16904503
Have you ever watched a scary movie and thought that the music contributed to how scary the movie is? What about other times when music is used in films, does it ever seem like the music matches the tone of what's happening in it?
Been at work 4 years this woman shes been here for just over 1. shes 20 or so years older but i cant quite put my finger on it. Shes friendly and social to everyone.. but seems to never say hi to me. Always walks past staring straight... ive always gotta initiate a convo and even though she appears friendly and happy to talk her body language suggests otherwise. ... am at work now on break but 30 minutes ago i said" hello anon how ya goin" she responded generically but barely turned her head to speak to me.
Do i just leave her alone? Will be ba ck on my lunch break for /Adv/
>>16904463
I wouldn't worry about it at all. Chicks are the boring people at work anyway.
>>16904470
Do i just continue to be polite... its starting to feel like im being creepy.
She doesn't like you.
(Perhaps it's because you're the type of person who refers to females as 'chicks.' Perhaps.)
![ecf9aac1ee86d1a3e45616932aae916d[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/xvltOP5.jpg "ecf9aac1ee86d1a3e45616932aae916d[1]")
How does one have/keep a stable relationship.
The girl i'm with is a choleric, i just keep getting yelled at for smallest shit
>>16904460
>>16904464
People with anger issues or any other emotional problems will not be able to have a healthy or successful relationship until they address and overcome those problems.
>>16904476
How does one address their temper?
I feel like i'm just avoiding her most of the time now, i just don't want to get yelled at anymore
So all my friends are busy, or out of town, and I want to go downtown and drink and hit on girls and shit.
Only problem is, in my 23 years, I've never been to a bar by myself - I'm always with friends who can drive me. How do people drink and get home without seriously endangering themselves?
I don't want to chance it at all - I don't get hammered, but even buzzed driving scares me. I can handle my liquor though. It's just like... I don't know, I want to go out and have fun, but without my friends to help me get home (or wingman me, hah) I don't know how to do it.
Tips?
>>16904458
I got so drunk I got kicked out of a country western shitkicker when I first turned 21.
Dude, taxis.
Or Danny's if you're just a little drunk. They always build a Dennys in the bar district for that reason. Lol, there is a waffle house next door to the strip club where I live. Bouncers will help you get a cab if you ask them.
Taxi or walk. That is also how you take girls home.
If you're not a redneck you take the bus or the subway.
