Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1348. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1348. page
Anyone here in the National Guard? Saw an opening for an IT position and was considering joining once I graduate college. What can I expect if I join?
>>16904004
Old men that don't know shit doing nothing
It's a great deal unless you get sent to Iraq by some moron.
>>16904071
This.
What do I do?
>meet guy on a social media website (not fb)
>it says on my profile in interested in his culture and country.
>he starts conversation "hi annonete, I'm anon from x-country. How are you?"
>cute engineer smart guy wears glasses and has short hair (my type) and super respectful
>we correspond for a whole year, talk on Skype, webcam chats (no dirty talks)
>18 years older than me (I'm 20)
>says he likes me too, but really shy. Doesn't know what to say to me. Doesn't know what to do about this. He's single and he works and owns his own money and stuff but lives with his parents (quite common in his culture)
What do I do? I can't be with him because I'm not crazy to move there and love everything behind (love is not everything). And he doesn't speak good English and has his whole career set up there.
He's almost 40 so for that and other reasons it's not good for him to move.
Are we just not going to work out? Should I be content in being his friend and confident? Do I wait until I'm graduated and older and rich so that I can see him on my holidays?
I won't marry anyone else because I like him so much. And if I don't have him as a man and a husband then ill be fine being his foreign friend
If you can't be with him, then at least visit him from time to time to keep in touch. If the experience is not what you hoped for, then you escaped a marriage that wouldn't work out very well.
Otherwise, it might just change your mind about moving in with him. He could help you settle in his country.
What country is he from, by the way?
>father is dead when I was 6
>mother is blind
>brother got fucked up in the head recently cuz of weed
won't specify my age, but i'm young
So I'm decent looking and get a fair share of social interaction. ( don't drink or smoke obv. ), but I can't get attracted or attached to people. I've got 2 friends that I really care for. I can't seem to like girls, one approached me earlier this year, couldn't get interested.
This shitty childhood left me mentally scarred I guess, I don't feel some emotions anymore. Can't get angry or pissed off. Can't smile.
I just can't get attracted to people or love them.
What's wrong with me 4chan? How can I cure myself?
I only find myself attracted to girls if Ive known them for like 3 months or more. get to know them.
>fucked up cause of weed
God damn it white people
>>16903986
Are you me for all but the smiling part?
What are some over the counter things I could buy or combine to kill anxiety for a few hours?
I need to not have severe anxiety for a day. I know I can order things online (I was advised phenibut) but I can't order anything.
I've tried stuff like Valerian, St johns wort, 5htp, but they're so mild they dont help with my huge problem.
Preferably not alcohol, I need to be able to recall things well.
I live in the UK if that helps.
Thanks
Alcohol is the only thing that works for me.
>>16903979
A hammer
Hit your hand every time you feel "anxiety"
>>16903979 if you tell me what I it that you're going to do with your not anxious person I'll tell you what I do
hello /adv/ today after my college ended, I walked up to the girl who has been my crush for about three semesters, and told her that I have fallen in love with her. It didnt go badly, as we are still friends but she did tell me that nobody has ever told her that they have "loved her" before. I have no idea what to make of it, I even mentioned if we could be more than friends and she said that she'll think about it. Did I make the right decision in confessing my love for her?
Nope.
Thanks for visiting.
>>16903975
What the fuck no. Do you even know this woman? How do you know if you love her?
So, my future mother in law has been trying to sabotage my relationship with her son ever since we started dating. She gaslights me, stonewalls me, she makes snide remarks about me, lectures me, etc. The problem is that she only does it when nobody is looking.
So neither her husband or my boyfriend believes me when I tell them about how she acts towards me. She has even outright told me that I wasn't good enough for her son and that it was never meant to be.
Did a lot of research on what I should do and every arrow pointed to me having to distance myself from her.
But things have gone from bad to worse. Now that I refuse to see her, my boyfriend now spends every holiday with her and then when I demand that he spend them with me he says that he can't do that to his mother. He's also started excluding me from major decision making for important things, he's dropped me from our family plans (phone, utilities, lease, car insurance, etc) without letting me know until it's already done. When confronted about all those things he said that his mom asked him to do it and said that she was only trying to protect him from me.
Relationship just went from pure bliss to absolute hell in 2 months.
What kind of advice do you have?
Thinking of breaking up. We've been together for 11 years now and were planning on getting married in December.
He is completely brainwashed by his mother. I really want to get back at her
>>16903960
As hard as this may be to understand, it's not her fault. She is who she is--a bitch. The fault here lies entirely on your fiance. It's his fault if he's such a momma's boy that he only listens to her.
Don't do shit to the mom. Don't do shit to your fiance. Do shit for yourself--leave. And don't fall into that "but 11 yeaaaarssss" excuse. It doesn't matter. Your investment failed. Big whoop, it happens to everyone. Cut your losses before you make a huge mistake by marrying into this psycho family.
>>16903960
Well list your properties and his and I'll tell you if you're good enough for him.
Your
>Job
>Income
>Height
>Weight
His
>Job
>Income
>Height
>Weight
Don't worry, I've played rpgs. I'll know if you're on his level. His mom doesn't want you piggybacking him for exp- I mean money.
>>16903960
Other anon has it right.
The mom is a total bitch. But she's a bitch, oh well.
Your fiance however... he should be defending you. YOU are his significant other, not his mother. The vows of marriage are "i take you [...] to have and to hold" not I take my mother.
I think ultimatums are retarded and the least effective method for resolving something in a relationship, but if talking to him about and letting him know how serious this is doesn't work (maybe he really doesn't realize), it may come down to it.
Help guys, I fucked up.
This one girl is very into me, but I am not in the slightest bit attracted to her. I really cannot emphasize this enough.
Otherwise she's a cool person, and I enjoy talking to her.
We're chatting today, she mentions she's depressed, she has family problems, love problems and feels useless. I've been there, I sympathize, I tell her it gets better. I tell her she's not useless.
She says she'll pull through, and asks me to go on a date with her (a concert in mid april).
I accept.
What do I do? Pls help. I don't want to hurt her feelings.
Do what girls do in this scenario and tell her that you're accompanying her to the concert as a friend.
Like the title says, I'm 27 and extremely lonely.
I was addicted to heroin for years and finally got clean about 2 years ago. Now I'm sober but I have no life. I go to a commuter college 2 days a week (but full-time) but my license is suspended and transportation is really limited, making it basically impossible to find work.
I live with my parents because as a result of my addiction I have no money. I don't have any friends either because the people I hung out with are either still getting high or in jail/rehab and a few are dead from OD.
I have no hobbies or interests aside from going to the gym a few times a week and playing computer games. I can't even think of anything that looks cool enough to try. My life is incredibly boring and depressing. I'm afraid that one day I'm just going to lose my mind and go back on heroin from the loneliness.
I'm not very attractive, I'm short, smallish dick, I have no money, car, or job, so no girls on Tinder or online dating want anything to do with me.
It sucks because I've worked really hard to change my life around and it seems I'm miserable no matter what. At least I had some pleasure in my life when I did drugs. I guess the consequences of the decisions I made when I was young have permanently ruined my life.
I don't understand why you would care so much about what lies behind you. Okay, shit happened, it was really bad and it affected you. What now? You have only the future ahead of you, you decide how it's gonna be. Is it gonna be you wallowing in your misery or are you gonna take the necessary steps to reach your goals.
Well,it looks like an ordinary story you can pick/copy from anywhere(either book/real life).
The fact is we are still going to die even if not been addicted with heroin or being a high profile businessman or whatever!
So,the point is if we can pass our time in a decent way with the responsibilities given from our family(natural) that's the success of life.
Try to understand your responsibilities and if you can i believe your loneliness will be solved.
How does one deal with not having friends?
The friends I didn't lose after my suicide attempt I have lost all contact with for about 3 years
It's getting to much. The only way to stave of the loneliness is smoke weed all night and hope I don't wake up in the morning
I haven't had any friends for 5 years, you're just a newfag to the no friend game.
>>16903916
How old are you
>>16903929
About a month away from being 24
Can a 20 year old male date a 30 year old female?
I don't mean is it possible, of course it is if you love each other enough. But on average/in all reality, does it typically work out?
>>16903909
>But on average/in all reality, does it typically work out?
nope. Maybe if it was ike 27 and 37, but there's a pretty big life experience difference between 20 and 30, and that doesn't typically work out.
By definition, not everyone can be typical though.
Figure out for yourself if you're willing to bend a little and able to think outside of yourself to concede/compromise on some things, and if she's willing to do the same (and if this isn't just desperation of a young male for anything that moves on your part if you're the guy, or loneliness and naivety as to the maturity difference if you're the female)
>>16903909
That's called a "teacher." She will teach you about relationships and how to fuck, and you ultimately use the knowledge on a girl who hasn't hit the wall.
>>16903909
short answer: yes
long answer:
She's probably got her life a bit more together than yours but thats just the 10 year difference working. She might not have time to put up with your young life struggles as she's already gone through them. This is different than showing empathy and caring about your struggles. Think along the lines of keeping your "long line at startbucks" complaints to yourself.
Secondly Your lives might not be compatible on the day to day. But working in scheduled time to see one another is going to break any sort of differences. also LEARN TO CARE ABOUT HER LIFE. It will show great maturity to her, above all her peers which are in a similar grind but show little interest in her life.
any more questions?
> Girl and I almost dated a few years back but I never caught on she was into me
>Remain friends with benefits for about a year and a half
>About a month ago she brought up about dating me
>I told her that I was down and we should go on dates and see where it goes
>A few days later she calls it off, "You're like a brother to me I can't do it" (I guess she likes incest as she basically was hooking up with her "brother" over the last few years)
>Also brings up about want to hook up still
>Out last weekend with her and some friends
>Her one female friend is all over me the whole night and we're flirting
>I found that apparently she was mad at her friend for flirting with me because she was "jealous"
I don't get it guys, she claims she never wants to be with me, yet she gets jealous when other girls flirt with me? She would always rip on other girls I went on dates with ("Wow she's so ugly). Do you think there is a chance of anything ever happening or should I just move on?
You're going to have to move on and tell her it's dating/fucking or nothing. Then she'll decide if she likes you enough to be in a relationship.
If you're giving her sex without the relationship stuff, why would she want that to change?
>>16903912
>>16903914
Thank you guys.
Bump
Yo what's up nigs, just thought I'd get some advice on how to lower my spaghetti count on this potential date tonight. Here's the breakdown:
>>been talking to this chick for a mean sec
>>be meaning to chill but conflicted schedules made it so we postponed our plans like 4 time over the course of 3 months
>>she messages me today if I want to go to a concert with her
>>says yes even though I don't really have money and I'm a bit nervous my fellow anon
>>haven't been on a date for about a hear and a half so I'm a bit rusty
Give a fellow anon tips on how not to be a pleb, I'm not clueless just think some advice would be food for thought.
>>16903872
Keep the idea open in the back of your mind that she might have been born a man...
>>16903908
thanks anon, will do.
> Been working out lately
> talking to girls
> hit it off with a couple
> girl I never talked to messages me
> she has a history of stalking and being nuts
Any help with stalkers?
>>16903865
You want help because...you might someday be stalked, even though it hasn't come close to happening to you yet?
that's some pathetic wishful thinking there, dude.
>>16903865
>browses 4chan
Stop right there
>>16903873
Yes. Poor me. I demand pity. I'm getting advice for just in case, I've heard she bad stuff. She's hitting on me, I'm just trying to be proactive
and its getting to be obnoxious
I'm slowly cutting off all of my friends because their still doing the same shit they have been for years and have made no progress while I have been working on building a legitimate life and name for myself one day. I'll give you an example of what one of my friends is like.
This dude is 23, gonna be 24. He lives in his moms basement unemployed. No drivers license, only drove a car a handful of times (we live in a small area where a drivers license is needed or youre mooching rides all the time). Has been unemployed for 3+ years. Gets high every night (nothing wrong with this specifically but when its other peoples weed for years straight its kinda stupid), no education. Every night its MTG and video games with bros in moms basement, smoking shitty weed too.
Its gone so far with this kid that when I try to talk to him about girls, he never thinks that the really hot girls are hot. He says that they look "trashy" "Slutty" "bitchy" for no reason, even though they literally just look hot and he doesn't even know them. seems like he's into overweight chicks with mohawks. Its gotten to the point where he hasn't gotten laid in so long and knows that its so hard for him that hes been saying hes going asexual, as if that were a thing.
He embraces this lifestyle and calls it "nihilism" and thinks its deep, and talks shit to me for having a job and working 6 days a week. Looks down on me for enjoying partying/meeting new people.
I could go on and on, but you get the point. seems like theres so many people my age around me that are into this lifestyle, and its quite sickening. I want to meet people who are interesting with an education and life path, I think school is the answer, but I don't know what I want to go for.
All I know is that when you don't get laid for so long that you start saying youre going asexual thats just pathetic. The only people I know are fucking complete losers and i'm sick of it.
Anyone else feel this way?
>>16903863
Sounds like you just need to move on, man. With time, you'll realize that there's two types of people in this world: People who look for excuses for their problems, and people who look for solutions. The first type of person tends to pretty much stay stuck in one place, so if you're the second type of person, you're eventually gonna have to leave them behind when you're ready to go places.
I know that's cliche shit, but it's true. Some people just don't want to change because it's too much work, and as you grow up you'll find less and less space in your life for that type of negative shit
>>16903881
yeah, if I do go back to school (which i'm like pretty damn sure I am, I make good money now but I want to make more and have a career) I'm gonna have to cut these people off. When you start looking down on people for having a career and starting a family to the point where you talk all edgy about how people having kids aren't living their lives correctly, I no longer really have time for you. If you don't want or agree with that lifestyle thats completely fine, but when you live like a 12 year old man child, thats just assinine.
>>16903905
Yeah I feel you. Everyone gets fucked over by life sometimes, but you can tell someone's hopeless when they just want to drag everyone else down with them, instead of building themselves back up
It's on him, at this point. Maybe someday he'll change and pull his shit together. But yeah until that day comes there's no reason to put up with that shit
so there's this hot girl at my school (I'm 18 and a senior) that iv known forever and we eat lunch together everyday, she recently broke up with her bf and is talking to this other guy from the next town over, but she invites me to go on a senior trip and says she'll only go if she rides with me... She also says she trusts me more than most. I have a gf but I don't think it's working out and she (hot girl) is honestly my dream girl..........wat do /b/ros?
>>16903843
You're in high school, none of this fucking matters. At all. Fuck whoever you want. Nothing you do will last longer than a year.
But, you're a shitbag for going behind your girlfriend's back like this. You'd feel like shit if she was doing the same thing. Don't do this kind of bullshit. You're going to bargain and reason with yourself that it's okay, but it isn't. You'll form horrid habits and keep doing it down the road, ruining people's self esteem and trust along the way. So knock it off. Want someone? Be single first.
thanks bud, soooo it doesn't matter at all, but I'll ruin someone forever
>>16903854
Your high school relationships don't matter, dumbshit. None of them. People matter.
Telling yourself it's okay to be a cheating asshole is not okay. Those behaviors last longer than high school relationships.
