Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1349. page
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so, i like a lesbian girl who wants to be a straight but she's a little bit confused. she hasnt been with a male for 4-5 years so she's kinda scared. also we got together a few times but we havent been dating for 3 weeks. she keeps delaying our meetings. she says she is not in the mood but we keep messaging through phone almost every evening. i dont really know what to do, should i keep trying or should i let her go?( btw i wrote her a letter to meet and left a clove on her car 2 weeks ago so you can guess i tried to be a romantic guy) pic unrelated
>>16903829
>i like a lesbian girl who wants to be a straight but she's a little bit confused
That's not how homosexuality works. At all.
Cut your losses and invest your time in someone who is sure of their sexuality.
>>16903829
Thirsty/10
>>16903829
>so, i like a lesbian girl who wants to be a straight but she's a little bit confused.
What other anon said here,
>>16903836
>That's not how homosexuality works. At all.
Let my tell you about something similar:
My best friend is gay. Somewhere towards the start, we started hooking up at one point, and at the time i (and probably she) thought it was casual sex. But as time went on, she started dropping more and more jokes about being a couple, saying how it'd make both our parents happy, and stuff like that. One night she just awkwardly pushes me off and basically asks if we can start over, if we could try for dating.
We're both pretty tispy and not at all sure if she's serious and just take it as a joke, and we have sex. The next morning I revisit the topic and she instantly changes the subject and too quickly, too nervously tells me she was just kidding.
It was at that moment it hit me that what was going on was she was questioning her own sexuality.
She'd been through a pretty rough time of it before she met me.
She's a pretty introverted person, that has problems trusting people. She lost her dad pretty young, had lost all her friends recently during a bad break up with her ex, had nearly died in a car accident that left her hospitalized and forced her to move back back with her mom for the first time since high school. A mom who tried to understand, but was always awkward and was skittish about her being gay every since she came out.
And I was her only real friend. I was quickly becoming one of he closest friends she'd ever had, and that was something she'd always, always yearned for growing up--a friend with which she could share everything with.
And that reality hit me that week while I was mulling things over.
>Live a happy life
>Doing well in school
>Have a job
>Have a caring group of friends
>Had a great childhood
>Still want to kill myself
I feel happy every day but still a voice in the back of my head keeps on telling me to do it.
How the fuck do i fix this?
Do you actually want to kill yourself or is it just a lingering thought that's in the back of your head? If it's the latter, it's nothing to worry about.
If it's the latter, it usually happens because of something similar to this:
>One day random thought about suicide thought appears in your mind
>You make a conscious note of it and go "Don't think about that". Or anything similar to you trying to stop thinking about it
>Because of ironic rebounding and you trying to suppress the thought it comes back stronger each time
>Because you suppressed and it still came back you get the impression that it's something you really want to do
How do you counter it? Let the thought in and objectively analyse it. Do you really want to kill yourself? And then point out reasons why you wouldn't and how there's no logical reason for you to want to, and then brush it off as bullshit.
>>16903846
Actually, the thought is exciting, I start to think about what could possibly be after death, what fun ways I could use to kill myself and start smiling like an idiot because of it. I think i'm just being stuipid.
Anyway i'll try to let the thought in and analyze it like you said, thanks for the advice.
>>16903892
jeez that sounds awesome, just slip into the afterlife with no regrets and all and with no other reason than to see what's on the other side
fuck you op now im having suicidal thoughts too
Wonderful /adv/,
I have a chance to be happy, at least for a short period of time. I've met a wonderful person. However, I'm slowly destroying things due to my own insecurities.
How do I distance myself, so I don't end up ruining things? I need to stop searching for reassurance and overanalysing things. I also need to stop caring whether things work out or not.
I'm getting more and more drunk, scrutinising the situation I'm in and making myself worry even more.
You kind of have to fail at a couple relationships to learn to think like that. Or have some personal project you care about as much as your SO.
>>16903824
I have a relatively busy life, more than one long term relationship and I have a good job. I thought I was past all this but I'm clearly not.
Thank you for your response anyway, anon.
>>16903813
OP you and me are the same. When I have a chance at a relationship I end up retarding out and freak if her out.
Life is good in all other aspects.
I think the solution might be to not say much and not try to keep doing things to impress her.
It's hard though cause of the overanalysing.
Ps.. I think I just fucked up chances with the first girl I've really liked in two years. Feel like shrinking away into obscurity from her so I don't embarrass myself more.
How do i regain the drive to look for new relationships? Since the breakup with my ex i actually lost the urge to see anyone, but the longer i stay like that the more numb i feel. I never acutally had a problem starting conversations and getting girl's attention, but right now the situation is so bad that i catch myself staring at a girl because she interests me, yet i don't feel the need to actually even talk to her. Whenever she shows signs of interest i either ignore them, or make a responce that makes me look uninterested. What is going on with me and how am i supposed to deal with this?
Could somebody help me out please?
Wait till someone actually interests you enough to feel like you should take action.
If the current ones doesnt make you feel that way, then either they arent your type, or you are jaded as fuck.
It happpened to me recently as well, spent one and a half year alone since my last breakup.
Only in the last two months did the urge come back to get to know someone new.
Since then, i was on a few dates, and it looks like im back in the game. Just take your time anon, and it will sort itself out.
Hello /adv/
So , i want to loose a little weight.Any advices for loosing weight fast?
Short answer: Eat below your maintenance
Long answer: Go to /fit/, read sticky.
5 small meals instead of 3 big ones. Sport activity of your liking once a week for 2 hours at least.
Should work if your meaning of "little weight" isn't 20 kilos or more.
There's no easy shortcut, but it's not complicated.
Regiment your diet. Consistently work out.
It's really that simple. It's just a pain in the ass to actually do
Dedicate yourself, or don't.
i cant stop hating my self.
how do i stop hating my self.
What specifically do you hate about yourself?
>>16903787
the way i look, act, react and generally think.
Oh, this is the thread I was looking for.
I'm kind of in a confusing situation right now and I could use some advice. There is this friend I have that I have known for about 13 years. We were always pretty tight with each other, and even though he can act pretty stupid sometimes, I still think of him as a close friend. Anyway, even since middle school when I knew him he always had bad luck with women, probably because he always tried to hard to get their attention. I think he has some repressed issues and has tried to kill himself 2 times. Recently we both go to college and have jobs so obviously we can't be hanging out as much as we used to. He started drinking a lot, got rejected by another girl that we both know, and ever since last November, has just dropped off the grid. He doesn't post anywhere anymore, I have been trying to call him to see if he wants to hang out but he literally never answers, and I know he isn't working that much that he can't pick up the damn phone since November. From then to now I have been trying to contact him and he never answers or replies, though he sometimes looks at the messages. The only times I've seen him since then was around Christmas at the mall when I bumped into him and could smell the alcohol on his breath. One time I called him with a blocked number to see if he would pick up and he did. I asked him when he was free, and he acted all nervous and was stuttering like he was lying and I never heard from him again. I don't know why he would be doing this to me because I haven't done anything to him to warrant it. I even tried asking his sister about it and she said she didn't know anything about it. Most recently, my other friend knows this girl that the dude is trying to get with now, and she said not only was he trying to hit on her, but he told her about how he cuts himself and sent her a picture of his wrist and arms with cuts. I guess something deeper is going on with him. what should I do? I want to hang out with him and try to help him but he won't answer me
>>16903744
>WALL OF TEXT
tl:dr or greentext.
just some advice.
uhhh your friend sounds like a psycho
well,if he looks at messages then you should writte him and tell him what you are thinking and you are worry. But you only can help him if he want to help himself. *bad english*
Hey /adv/,
I enjoy singing, but I don't know any good programs to edit my recordings. Do you know of any good ones? If possible, I'd like at least three different, from best to worst.
Thank you, love you
bump, no body?
Audacity
Actually, any good video recording programs, too? Good quality, so not fraps
So, I have browsed the internet since young, and I admit I was also a fag at first until a person I met online pulled the stick that was "so far up my ass, you could see if sticking from my mouth", as he explained. Sadly though, I do not see such thing happening to my brother. He is still young, but his social circle consists of huge faglords. They listen to pop and rap, they wear snapbacks, watch and argue over anime, talk about weed, banging hot chicks and even share memes from 2009 on instagram. Despite my brother resisting with my help, he won't be able to do so for long unless I do something. I have tried a lot of things, but he always seems to not understand the purpose. Every time I tell him a racist joke, he laughs at it but doesn't really believe it. Our parents won't do jack despite me telling them about what will happen, and even call me crazy. What can I do in order to guide him left, uncuck him and eventually make him my edgelord bro, laughing at recent crisis and praising dictators for exploiting weak nations. Any advice appreciated and rewarded with chicken tendies.
>>16903724
your younger brother is more mature than you.
>>16903745 op here
amirite though? He doesn't know about the malice of life and he wants to help old ladies walk the street while holding her groceries. Gross Amirite?
I'm not tryinna be rude be he posts on 9gag and he says he believes in the power of love. Isn't that a frog-face-shit-eater-edgy-bald-faced faggot? Amirite?
Help me bros.
>>16903745
/thread
Go post this on /b/ OP.
Main question: Realistically, is it easy to get into university? I see your run-of-the-mill university propaganda stuff and think that universities must only take squares with above average grades, but then it sometimes seems like anybody and everybody just simply goes to university, like there's no issue with being accepted, it just happens.
For some context, I'm from the UK, so I'm doing my A levels. It's pretty rough and I'm not fond of the environment or format by which I 'learn'. I also quietly have issues with authority. I get the feeling the way I'm performing is enough to stay in school but not get accepted into university.
Obviously I'm still young and immature and whatever, and I'm falling into my stereotypes as a teenager. But this is quite an important issue in where I go next with my life. I need to have a realistic idea of what to expect going forward rather than the one-sided nonsense that's spewed at me from universities themselves.
So any wisdom or personal experiences to go along with your answers are more than welcome.
I should also acknowledge the usual advice I get thrown at me like "Do well now or your regret it later when you have to get qualifications alongside shit work" or something to that effect. I appreciate this, but you have to understand that I can't really think that way considering there is no future me to regret not doing well. I could die tomorrow or some shit. I'm not really trying to get out of working harder, it's just hard for things like that to motivate me when it's just some arbitrary, vague, meaningless idea of the future
>>16903728
Can't help you on this topic in general because I have no idea what the UK is like at all
But I'm in my late 20's and know that almost every single kid who thinks that really does grow up, look back half a decade/a decade later, and wonder, what the fuck? Why did I waste so much time? I should have just sucked it up and finished my schooling (I speak from personal experience and from knowing other people in similar situations).
Hedge your bets.
>>16903728
What do you want out of your life?
What would that demand from you?
Will a university education make it easier to land a job on the field you seek?
Can you get the scholarships? (They give them to those capable enough anyways)
These questions may be the ones you need to ask.
What >>16903753 said also is important. Your attitude may help you or make you sink.
If I reject my family trying to set me up with a girl, what does that say about me?
>>16903713
Too hard to judge with that little info.
That you haven't been a turbovirgin for long enough.
>>16903721
The Virgin cycle goes
>reject girls out of spite
>accept anything that moves
>reject girls out of apathy
OP sounds like he's on step 3
Hey /adv/
I posted yesterday with the exact same picture so some of you might remember me.
I went on a first date with a girl I like, and I suppose it went pretty well. She said yes to a second date, but I'm not sure when to call her to make an appointment with her. As I have said our first date went well, but we didn't kiss, but I don't think that's a problem since she seems to like me and we talked a lot about our interests and such. So far we've talked about meeting up again, pretty much we talked about meeting up this week and having a few more drinks and maybe having a third date where we go hiking but I have no idea when is a good time to call her.
So I'm a bit drunk and all, but what I'm trying to ask is, when should I call her and whether is it a problem if I ask her for another date where we just drink beer and have fun. Also, I'd like to know if I should tell her that I like her(more than friends) on our second date our should I wait?
>>16903709
>Also, I'd like to know if I should tell her that I like her(more than friends) on our second date our should I wait?
Haven't read your other thread but.
But do you actually?
I told my girlfriend that on our third date, but we became a couple that night also, and we had mad chemistry like nobodies business. Our first "dates" lasted 5 hours, 13 hours, and 120 hours respectively.
Do you ACTUALLY like her? Or just think you like her at this point?
I'm for waiting 'til you know for a fact you have something real so when you say it, it actually means something and it's not just some spaghetti dropping statement.
Stop worrying about this shit when you don't even know the first thing about her and consequently, how you really feel about her (because you don't know her)
And think about it, she needs to make her own mind up about you too. If you tell her you like her, what's that going to do? Just fuck with her head. Let both of yourselves figure that out first, and your ACTIONS (not your words) will then make it obvious whether you like each other or not (words should be a confirmation of what your actions are indicating--don't jump the gun).
Go ahead and call her to make an appointment when you've figured out a time/place/activity. She already agreed, no need to play games and wait around.
>>16903743
So I should just call her in a day or two to invite her for another drink? And when we meet at the bar we should just have fun and all this shit should just come naturally?
Answering your question, yes, I do like her very much. I'm sure of it since I'm kind of picky, so when it comes to girls I only ever ask out a girl if I feel like we have a good chemistry and we both like each other.
Anyhow, are you telling me that I'll know when it's time to tell her I like her as a romantic interest?
>>16903786
Yeah, basically.
and I'm saying that if you don't get in your own by overthinking this shit, your natural instincts *should* make you do things that make it obvious your interested, and make it obvious on her end too. The words should just echo the sentiments your bodies are voicing, not preempt and change the course of things.
"confessing" is for middle-schoolers, not for adults.
But, if you think you're too socially inept to actually follow through, go ahead and tell her you're romantically interested if you want. You know you more than I do.
HOW FUCKED AM I??:
>Meet girl in my dorm before she goes out clubbing
>Hitting it off great, she has to leave in a hurry but says she wants my number when I'm back
>Tell my mate about this chick, he asks for a photo so I screenshot her DP and send it to him
>She comes back and we're hanging out. Going very well
>Give her my phone so she can add her number, accidentally clicks some button and the photo of her comes up on the screen, right next to a photo of my ex
>Says some confused sentence under her breath
>As I'm walking off she calls out and says goodnight
Boys, how fucked am I. I'm gonna talk to her tomorrow in person and explain the whole thing in truth and how fucking embarrassing it was, just make a joke of it and play it cool.
Or am I totally fucking done and do I look like a serial rapist/stalker
>>16903704
LOL pretty fucked
Like the circumstance is normal but it's still creepy as fuck for some reason even after you explain it.
>meet girl online
>be talking for awhile
>never met
>i'm in love
>she lives a couple hours away
>eventually get set up to meet her
>she's my phone background
>actually go to see her
>trailer trash
>obviously slut of small town
>made out with her not as hot sister infront of me, and her sisters bf
>ate her pussy
>hanging out in living room
>look awkard 'cause i'm a bit older
>pull out phone like most awkward people do in situtaions
>it's her on my lockscreen
>it's her on my BG
>she sees
>asks me why
>shrug
>end up pulling spaghetti from my pockets and leaving a trail as I go back to my car and head back home to try and forget everything
Pussy was really nice, wish we fucked while I was still cool.
Haha fuck OP, you're last chance is to be straight up and tell her you sent an image of her to your mate because you thought she was cute. It's your only hope. If you're attractive it might work. Otherwise, bad luck mate and better luck next time.
My girlfriend suffers with clinical depression, and has had it for years. She took a turn for the worst last year and now she visits her doctor frequently to get help (meds and therapy). She has gained A LOT of weight (close to 70lbs) since the dip in her mental health last year, and although I love her, and want to support her. I'm no longer sexually attracted to her.
How do I get her to lose the weight, without making her depression worse?
I'm not going to post a pic of her, but the pic attached is almost exactly what she used to look like when I first met her.
How much did she weigh before? And how tall was she? How much does she weigh now? .that's a tricky one. Maybe say you want to get fit and invite her to come to the gym with you. Did she gain because meds? Or overeating/lack of activity?
>>16903777
To answer your questions:
She's about 5'7". And was a cute chubby at around 180lbs. She's put on about 70lbs since last summer ish. The reason being from both the side affects of meds, and from the depression taking its toll by overeating and minimal activity. She's currently got sick leave from work and barely leaves the house.
I'm continuing to support her and tell her it's something we both have to work on together. I'm trying to be particularly healthy and workout more, so that she follows suit.
>>16903864
If she's depressed she won't just magically follow suit like that.
You need to encourage her, very very gently.
Go for long walks together maybe play a sport together.
It's a way of getting her to exercise more without it feeling like 'exercise'
She's probably v e r y aware of the fact that she's gained weight it's unlikely she'd want to go to the gym
Main question: Realistically, is it easy to get into university? I see your run-of-the-mill university propaganda stuff and think that universities must only take squares with above average grades, but then it sometimes seems like anybody and everybody just simply goes to university, like there's no issue with being accepted, it just happens.
For some context, I'm from the UK, so I'm doing my A levels. It's pretty rough and I'm not fond of the environment or format by which I 'learn'. I also quietly have issues with authority. I get the feeling the way I'm performing is enough to stay in school but not get accepted into university.
Obviously I'm still young and immature and whatever, and I'm falling into my stereotypes as a teenager. But this is quite an important issue in where I go next with my life. I need to have a realistic idea of what to expect going forward rather than the one-sided nonsense that's spewed at me from universities themselves.
So any wisdom or personal experiences to go along with your answers are more than welcome.
Pic unrelated by the way. Just some stupid shit.
>>16903694
I should also acknowledge the usual advice I get thrown at me like "Do well now or your regret it later when you have to get qualifications alongside shit work" or something to that effect. I appreciate this, but you have to understand that I can't really think that way considering there is no future me to regret not doing well. I could die tomorrow or some shit. I'm not really trying to get out of working harder, it's just hard for things like that to motivate me when it's just some arbitrary, vague, meaningless idea of the future.
