Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1335. page
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How come I can jack off to the though of getting blown/blowing a guy but I feel super mega gross and guilty after doing it? I cant watch gay porn. I can get off to straight porn without the guilt.
what gives?
You're excited by the idea of having sexual activity with a man, but you didn't accept this as part of your identity.
Unless you accept it as part of yourself, you'll keep feeling guilty.
btw, this doesnt mean you're "gay".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heterosexual%E2%80%93homosexual_continuum
as people become aroused their disgust response becomes less sensitive. this can explain feelings of shame and disgust that may follow certain sexual experiences.
>>16907672
yeah but idk if its me or just derived from lonely and desperateness
No relationship advice needed here, /adv/, just some advice on a purchase.
I have been offered what is a very nice car, for a very good price. My current car is absolutely fine but I have been told by a garage that something is likely to go wrong on it in the near future (clutch, not cheap).
This new car is likely to be slightly more expensive to run, marginally more expensive over the year to insure but is definitely a future proof car and considered more premium than my current one. It is more of an "executive" car.
Should I take the plunge and buy this other car? It means using up my savings until my current car can be sold, but I don't think I'll struggle to sell it and I'm hoping to get roughly the same amount of money for it.
When you say it's more expensive to run, are you including a fair contribution toward a major repair over the next 1-3 years? Those happen. With premium cars, those also tend to be quite pricey.
I think you should look up the cost (parts and labor) of major repairs on this new vehicle and add, say, half of the average cost to your yearly expected costs. Does that still work within your budget? If it doesn't, you'll have seen that you can only afford the car when it's working properly.
>>16907683
My budget long term isn't really an issue. I save up each month to cover any repairs to my vehicle. The car has also had all the major things done to it recently (engine recall, brand new one fitted, new cambelt, etc) so fingers crossed the biggest issue will be tyres and wear and tear.
>>16907659
This question is absolutely useless without details on your current car and the potential car.
A clutch job is $600 on a non-luxury brand, so it shouldn't be a factor in your decision.
An A4 is going to cost 5x to repair than what a civic or whatever costs.
My ex bf that I met online is a psychopath and we have nothing in common so I broke up with him officially. He tried to kill himself and finally left me alone for about a week when he found a new psycho gf in which the first thing he does is call me to tepl me that he has moved on and is having a lot of sex with a pretty girl, and then she breaks up with him because he told everyone at school. He keeps saying he still loves me and then tries to kill himself, forcing me to stay in the call while he does. His mom goes to his house and threatens lawsuits and private eyes on me for assisting him in suicide, which is false. A month later he gets out and continues to contact me telling me how he keeps getting victimized. I delete my skype and kik so he cant talk to me. He still calls me and texts me and it wastes my time and makes me hyperventiliate because he refuses to delete any content of me(texts, pics). When I tell him that I want nothing to do with him he says that im mean and makes up a list of excuses that his brain is messed up and he is mentally unstable so he should be treated better. And that he keeps being used and he does drugs to forget about everything. I hate drug users. We have never met irl but he knows a lot of info about me. I dont care about any of his problems and do not know why he is telling me and why he still wants me if I ignore him. He is the clingiest person ive ever met and I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with him. I plan on changing my phone number and moving to different country after college. I wish he would forget about me and leave me the fuck alone. I cant file a restraining order or he will know my last name. Is there anything else I can do?
>>16907655
Step one learn how to use the enter key
Step two kill yourself
>forcing me to stay in the call
He can do no such thing. If it happens again: Hang up. Contact the police in his area, if you know his general location. Turn your phone/computer off.
>We have never met irl
>I cant file a restraining order or he will know my last name
What, exactly, does he know about you?
Online relationships should be the exact easiest to end. Block his number, block his accounts, get new accounts on social media if you need to, pretend he never existed.
>>16907655
Filing a police report is good, getting a restraining order is good. Get a handgun and learn to use it, especially if you live in any US state that has a stand your ground law. Don't allow yourself to be victimized or intimidated by him. If he tries to harm you, kill him.
>mfw 25
>neet
>no college degree or working skills
>no friends
>no fun because don't have money to games
what do you think about me? seriously i need the truth.
also what's the best solution to my case?
>>16907653
Right now you're high school graduate.
You have no skills, so you're a child.
You have no friends, so you're alone.
You're not fun because your broke, so you're poor.
That's what I think of you, just from the judgements I made from your description, I'm sure you're more nuanced in person.
Thing is, I don't see a problem. What do you perceive as a problem?
>>16907740
I think the life sucks.
I asked the above because I would like to see what people would think of me with that age and all these problems.
>>16907763
Meh...
Living in our times, it sounds almost normal, but I don't let that taint my picture of a person who has his own problems and history.
>I think the life sucks.
Welcome to humanity, Philosphers have identified this problem before philosophy was ever a thing.
>day off work
>havent left room today, been watching anime, enjoying myself for once
>its 1pm
>2 missed calls from my mom an hour ago
>getting hungry, no food in my room
>if I go downstairs now she'll get mad at me for being in my room all day
How do you get your family to leave you alone?
you move out
I cant stop cheating my girlfriend.
I love her, we have amazing sex, we really 'click'.
She is pretty good looking but not really on my par.
I've cheated her for over 4 times now and i cant stop. All i've done i've never felt any connection to the other women and i dont even feel i am doing wrong.
I also never be in contact with "the others" when im with her, but when im alone i slowly slip back to enjoy their attention.
Help.
I dont wanna tell her because i love her and they didnt mean anything to me, but same time i wanna quit and keep her.
Leave her. You don't deserve a secure and loving relationship.
>>16907647
Thread
break up with her.
How do you fags deal with your Uni course being a literal cockfest?
meet girls another way. The classes im in average about 5 people per session. None of those students are girls
>join clubs or student associations
>get a part-time job at a place where there are girls
>go to parties
>if you are in dorms, transfer to a co-ed dorm
>if you are in an apartment, next time you move apartments, be that guy who introduces himself to all his neighbours and makes an effort to chat with them every once in a blue moon
Firstly, you've no excuse for failing to bang the few passably attractive women who are in that course. Fields dominated by male students tend also to be dominated by physically and emotionally repulsive male students. Do you despair that there are so few attractive women around? Well the ladies also despair that there are so few attractive men around. You have every opportunity to become the stud in this cohort.
Outside of that, it's up to you to vary the groups to which you're exposed. Study some strange topics which interest you. Make use of your free time in public spaces.
It's been so many years since I've fallen in love, I'm 26 now and the last time I fell for someone was when I was 14
The closest I got to it was having a dream about kissing a guy recently.
Advice?
Straight girl btw.
>>16907607
Try online dating.
>>16907639
I have.
>>16907607
In my experience, as you get older, your perception of love changes too damn much.
That "Thing" you felt back then, you may not get to feel it right now. Thats why many people cherish highschool love.
27y old with a GF here, with almost the same feeling as you
I'm 18, a senior in highschool, and moving to college in 5 months. I have girlfriend of 6 months and she is 18 also. My parents won't let me spend the night at her house or her spend the night at my house. Her mom is completely ok with the idea and is actually the one bringing it up.
My question is am I in the wrong for wanting to spend the night at her house? My reasoning is that once I'm in college I'll be spending the night with her a lot rather it be in the dorm or at her house, I just wouldn't ask my parents. And they're totally fine with that, but for now I'm not allowed to spend the night. I just think there's a disconnect with the fact that once I move out I can but now I can't. I just need someone to explain to me if I'm wrong in thinking that I should be able to.
sounds like your gfs mom wants that young dikkk, youknowhatimsayin homie? your mom knows it and she's way jelly son. it's not about you being right or wrong, it's about somebody's mom needing to get Fuckttt
>>16907592
How are your parents gonna know where you spend the night? When I was 18 I used to walk out whenever I wanted, just saying "going to a party, see you tomorrow!"
I'll offer some food for thought.
>My question is am I in the wrong for wanting to spend the night at her house?
No, of course not! You can NEVER be in the wrong for wanting something. Although you can be in the wrong for how you act on it.
>I just think there's a disconnect with the fact that once I move out I can but now I can't.
You're not seeing this from the right angle. This is NOT about what you're able to do - you can do anything you want, you're legally an adult. This is just about your parents perception of it.
My best guess is that, since you're going to college soon, your parents are going through a coping process. They're about to "lose you", as the kid who grew with them.
How to bully Jewish guy at work without getting fired?
>>16907562
Print some of these and leave them laying around the office.
just do passive aggressive things when nobody can see you. use his work email to register accounts with islamist websites. key a swastika onto his car somewhere he won't notice. have an affair with his wife. steal his stapler.
you know, regular shit.
>>16907597
>just do passive aggressive things
Like telling him he smells funny and needs to take a shower?
>meet Girl on Tinder
>we have an amazing, unique, wonderful connection from day one
>she wants to go out the next day already, I agree
>however she doesn't really trust me
>brings her gay friend with her
>it's awkward
>he just walks behind or in front of us in his phone, we can't really talk, I don't know what to say
>we never even kiss or have some time alone
>go home feeling shitty
>she asks me out again today
>to go to a pub with her gay friend and his boyfriend
>I fucking don't wanna go
>she says I'm being an asshole
>I just wanna have normal dates and get to know her
>I have no interest in her friends
Am I really being an asshole or am I right?
>>16907541
>know chick for like two days
>she's already calling you an asshole
>you're already questioning if this is okay
Jesus, if you can't see the answer already, we can't help you.
>>16907541
So you've only been out 2 or 3 times?
Is she trying to friendzone you, or is she showing that she is interested romantically?
I would try to tell her that you are interested, and would like to work towards forming a more intimate relationship with her, but that its a little awkward with her friends around. Tell her you don't mind hanging out all together, but you'd like some alone time too.
Did she go alone for the first date? it seems like a red flag that she would be fine the first date, and then all of a sudden she doesn't trust you to be alone.
"being an asshole" is probably more about how you phrase it than what you want.
I would be pretty pissed if I agreed on a date and they bring someone else along without telling me.
She may have very good reasons to bring her friend along. It's up to you to decide if that's acceptable to you or not. Just don't be an asshole about it.
Do you use any goal tracking / habit forming / to do aps? Which one? What do you like and don't like about it?
I am thinking of using one to form some habits / be me organized.
I don't use anything beyond a simple list (whichever platform is convenient at that time), but I hear that people generally like HabitRPG for all of the things you mentioned. The most common criticism I've read is that it's somewhat shallow and loses its charm quickly, but that it's still a functional system even without the novelty of its bells and whistles.
Maintaining a separate journal is also good for keeping you aware of progress and results. I think lots of people lose motivation because they can't see or appreciate the fruits of their labors, especially when results are incremental in nature. Setting aside two minutes before bed every night to write "here's what I got done today" can focus that lens a bit. It makes the progress toward your goals feel much more real.
>>16907539
On an unrelated note - I think journaling is good too, but I find myself getting carried away and writing too much, which ends up taking 40 minutes and then quitting. Haven't touched journal in probably 6 months and make an entry maybe once a year / every 6 months. I got to the point where I just track fitness progress in simple "squats 3x6 @ 470" or whatever.
I wish I kept track of other goals better, but fitness is so linear. I think that's why there are so many aps for it, as opposed to other goals.
My friend loves the shit out of HabitRPG, maybe I should try it.
I'm a disgusting mess of a human, I always have been since my early teens.
Lost in a whirlwind of ignorance, a weeabo, a neckbeard, a nonconformist. Fat lazy, uninspired.
I lost weight and my world changed, my ironic ramblings about wanting to fit in were repeated in my mouth and mind till I realized that I actually did want to change.
I realize now, that there is beauty in conformity, and that everyone conforms. I was late to catch on to this trend.
Hiding behind morality and laziness before, I realize I had no morality to lose, that I was just posturing to make excuses.
I want to conform, I'm not some great artist, I'm no davinci, I'm no Jesus, or anyone special. I hate this person I am in life, I hate not fitting in.
I want to destroy myself and become part of society, a normal functioning human adult.
What behaviors can I practice in every day life to achieve these goals?
Humility and...whatever word is the best opposite to laziness. "Get off your ass and do things as soon as you decide on a plan of action." That quality.
Life is rather simple to live on autopilot.
>>16907521
Holy shit, I am going to need to make you fags a template for this.
1. Sleep 7-9 hrs a day.
2. Start cutting sugar and junk food.
3. Exercise.
4. Practice good hygiene (brush teeth, keep showered, keep hair trimmed where it needs to be, etc)
5. Work or go to school and do what needs to be done. If you aren't doing those, you better be spending 8 hrs a day studying or working on your own things (MEANINGFUL thing).
6. Some OTHER thing after work for at least a hour a day. If you are trying to advance career, it could be studying for professional exam. Or It could be art. Or dance. Or a massage class. Or trading stock options.
>>16907535
I think this list is missing a reasonable dose of recreation. We'd all be better off focusing our complete energies on self-improvement but that's not how it goes. Fitting in with most people today means a healthy dose of goofing off. I think that's critical for being able to relate to others instead of coming off as some sort of holier-than-thou android. Also it invites the opportunity to explain common avenues of recreation. That's important for fitting in too. Lots of people in OP's shoes have gotten themselves involved in strange, niche entertainment that actually alienates them from others. They might not know how to enjoy the stuff that most others around them find fun.
this girl just called me slick
what does that even mean
It means you have a low coefficient of friction. It also means that you're an idiot for not knowing what "slick" actually means in this context.
>>16907518
no i get it it means "clever. but im really blunt and not clever at all so i just dont get it
It means your smooth in urban slang.
"You thought you were slick, but you fucked up"
What the fuck is wrong with me, /adv/? I may know that already, but still. I have Aspergers, and am currently living with my Grandmother while my apartment isn't ready. She always used to want to fondle my shaft, ever since i was small. She passes by, tries to grab it, and such. However, as i'm an adult now, of course i don't let her, specially because i hate the disgusting bitch. However, she did it just now while i was distracted,l and fondled it. I forcefully grabbed her arm and pushed it away, silently, and kept walking. I even stared back at her in a disgusted/angry stare and she just replied ''Why are you so angry boy, you've got a nice one there''. She's fucking disgusting. My issue is; Why didn't i react more violently? I notice that everytime i just am too apathic to things, and just after it happens i feel like reacting, when it's over. I just ignored at the time, it didn't even cross my mind to threaten to break her hand. I just was disgusted but didn't care enough to react more than what i did.
Why? How can i overcome this? It feels like i'm enabling this by not being aggressive enough. It happens with others situations, but this one just happened, and i'm disgusted by her and angry at my lack of reaction, for fuck's sake.
>apathetic*
You're not apathetic.
Not sperging and raging does not make you apathetic.
You clearly care and put off. Apathetic dude would be like wut... Okay... Not even make a thread about it.
Just give her the dick one time and she'll shut up
Fucking internet acting up.
>>16907520
At the time she touched, or at most of conflicts, i'm apathetic. I simply do not care. It's not fear of reacting, i just ''don't feel like it'', feel like it isn't necessery. And she's fat and ugly as fuck. Probably has some STD since she was and is a slut (yes, an old slut). Also, if i don't sperg and rage, what would i do? I didn't even tell her to not touch me, i did nothing besides what i said i did. And the fact that i didn't do anything out of apatheticness bothers me more than if it was out of fear, and now i'm feeling disgusted like hell. I may even shower so i can ritual myself out of the sensation.
