Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1223. page
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I only like girls who like me.
I feel like, what's the point of pursuing someone to try and convince them to like you, and if you fuck up then all that work is gone. Having said that, only one girl I've ever had a crush on has liked me back naturally, which was just pure coincidence. Statistically, it's dumb to just wait until I come across someone who just happens to like me back, but what else am I supposed to do? everthing else feels so forced and fake
>>16934611
>naturally
Do you mean "immediately"?
What feels forced and fake? Feelings change as you get to know someone more. Sometimes you like them more, sometimes less.
Instant romantic sparks aren't as common as fiction suggests. As long as you are sincere, why would you feel fake?
>>16934619
Yeah i mean immediately.
I don;t know what it is, but I find the most attractive thing a girl can do is be attracted to me.
And it's not me that feels fake, its them. It feels like unless they have feelings for me on their own, I'm just tricking them into liking me.
>>16934611
You have a system you follow that isn't giving you the results you like. What thefuck do you think is the solution?
Or to put it another way, I only work for people that seek me out to hire me. But I don't like not having money. What should I do?
How much more pussy will I get if I change my name to Slash? I'm currently a Peter.
>>16934574
You can realistically slash that number in half
>>16934574
I started calling my self Wordz (short for Edwards) and chicks b digging my dick now
Hey /adv/ so I told my friend a while back how I felt about her and she said she only saw me as a friend, but 2 days later she decided she wanted to give it a shot. It's been 3 weeks now and she says she still sees me as a friend, while I'm over here basically falling in love. We've been talking A LOT every day, I've learned that in all her past relationships every guy has basically fucked her over for another girl. I also learned that she doesn't like yelling, and this is because of her parents, when they went through their divorce she saw them yelling at each other a lot so I think it scared her. She says she WANTS to be in a relationship with me but for some reason she can't see herself in one. could her past experiences With relationships have configured her mind into thinking all relationships are full of negativity? Or is just not meant to be?
Also another important part, she told me that since every other guy has fucked up and started talking to other girls, she is waiting for me to do the same.... How is she supposed to get feelings for me when just just waiting for me to fuck up?
Also another important part, she told me that since every other guy has fucked up and started talking to other girls, she is waiting for me to do the same.... How is she supposed to get feelings for me when just just waiting for me to fuck up? I really like this girl, do you think it's worth the work/emotional stress?
Didn't mean to post that twice, I thought the first one didn't go though
hi /adv/,
I'm an amateur songwriter and I love music. I want to have more depth and intricacy in the songs I write (instead of verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-verse-etc).
I listen to songs like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqOKYOhUYx0 and love how all the instruments are playing different counter-rhythms and melodies but they all fit. When I try to do imitate this I get a train-wreck of a song.
how can I improve on this? I listen to a lot of music like this, but I can't seem to ever write music like this. My "boring" (for lack of a better word) aren't terrible to listen too, but I want to write more interesting music. I realize this is kind of an open-ended question, but I would appreciate any advice at all.
cheers!
>>16934416
by having talent ?
An intimate knowledge on music theory helps. Just write some stuff and post on mu, see what they think. Granted most will be shit posts but any criticism should be helpful and most will tell you that practice makes perfect.
>>16934416
Quick question: can you read music?
Tell me if I should give up.
I met this chick on Tinder last october. She lives 30 minutes away. No big deal. We clicked pretty quickly once we figured out we both love pokemans and battled each other.
I was dating this chick. Things were going well, we'd see each other every week or more and constantly message each other throughout the day. She understood my morbid /b/ and street trash raised sense of humor, We would play online together. We were never "officially" together. Things were going great until she started getting distant out of nowhere in late january.
For a week she would barely message me, and when she did, she would leave me hanging. But she would also message me first on some of those days. (I'm not a "plz respond" kind of guy) So I finally called her out on it one day.
She basically said that someone she had reached out to before we started being a thing I guess finally messaged back (I don't know the details, I didn't want to at the time) she said it'd be unfair to me to continue this with her unsure like this and it ended. I don't really know how it ended up with the other guy.
Flash forward to the past 2 weeks. Before we would talk maybe once a week after the whole thing ended. Now she is constantly messaging me all day again. And it feels like she wants something. She tried to get me to go watch a movie we had talked about going to see together. I kind of get the feeling she wants me back.
Should I find out what happened and give it another try or should I just cut it off?
>>16934386
just cut it off, unless you are comfortable always being her platonic friend to fall back on when her romantic relationships fail.
>>16934393
Unless sex is platonic I don't think it was platonic
>>16934386
>Should I find out what happened and give it another try
Any reason not to do this? You're already in communication. Just ask her about the other guy.
How do I overcome an existential crisis?
By telling us what your actual problem is instead of expecting anybody to read your fucking mind.
God
>>16934355
indifference
Got myself in a bit of a predicament, id appreciate any help
Basically a girl joined my college last week, she's in all my classes. She's kind of a loner, very shy, never speaking to anyone, I know how it feels to be shy and have everyone just ignore you, so after a week I grew the balls to sit with her and talk to her.
We instantly hit off, we both love anime and vidya and we talked for about 2 hours straight. I never really got a good look at her face because she's always looking down, but she looked up at me when we were talking and she's absolutely beautiful and she has the cutest smile/laugh I've ever seen. I think I fell in love with her right there and then.
Now here's the problem; she has a boyfriend. When I found out it totally destroyed me, I've never felt this way about a person before. I only found out about her boyfriend by stalking her Facebook friends, shes literally never mentioned him once.
What do I do?
Talking to her and knowing I'll never be with her because she has a boyfriend is extremely painful. But I can't just stop talking to her because I'm literally the only friend she has in college.
This is so fucked up.
I've flirted with the idea of trying to cuck her boyfriend, but I don't know if that's even possible or if it's the right thing to do
Such is life. I'm in the exact same situation right now. I'm just gonna leave it on the back burner and hope for a rebound when/if she gets dumped.
Yeah I wouldn't try and manipulate anything, it could blow up in your face.
I've found out that friends overall hold more value then a relationship, sure you got burned but if you hit it off and connected build a friendship, and you might like her because you are socially starved and interpreted her social interaction as something more, though could be wrong about that last.
For a long time, I've wanted a simple IT job. Something where I can just sit in a school and keep the servers up and fuck around on the side but I'm starting to think that the chance of getting a job like that is low and I'd probably get bored as fuck. I'm pretty average at maths and programming so I couldn't get a software job and there aren't many programming jobs in Australia anyway.
However, I was thinking about trying out for the police. Careers counsellors suggested that I could study criminology in university, join the police force and become a detective eventually. I really don't know what the fuck I want to do anymore. I'm not in university currently and just have a part-time job at a supermarket.
I don't really have any passion to pursue any particular career and don't have many great skills apart from being kinda good with computers. I'm really starting to stress out over this.
Anyone else experiencing a job crisis?
Any ideas, /adv/?
>pic not related at all but it's feels
>>16934299
>Careers counsellors suggested that
Career counsellors are fucking delusional. They know nothing about the job market.
I've no idea what to suggest to you. As far as I can tell younger people are completely fucked, I'm partially fucked, people nearing retirement now are kind of fucked and those who pulled the ladder up on all of us are voting and acting out of complete self interest and just hoping to die before the world inevitably changes too much.
I went to university when it just started to cost money and left with significant debt, but like a third of what it cost my girlfriend a few years later. I've managed to purchase a modest house which I'll have paid off within the next 5 years and I own a car outright, but I'm fucking 33.
My parents had this shit done by ages 19-21 and were raising a family at the same time. I feel like I lost 10 years on them and I've been fairly lucky and committed to big goals like home ownership. Don't even want to speculate how fucked it is going to be for those behind me.
>>16934341
Also here at least jobs seem completely fucked. All 'soft' office shit is basically being consolidated into low wage centralised outsourced businesses using high degrees of automation. Seems like the days of well paid or individual businesses having human resources, accountancy etc are long gone. Built on fucking sand.
Everything else is at threat of automation. Traditionally well paid skilled trades are being replaced by prefabrication and off-site manufacturing and now you just need a few installation technicians on site to do a very simple job. Most manufacturing and agriculture had gone.
Even the traditionally safe and conservative public sector jobs like teaching, health care and the police are being privatised and turned into insecure, performance managed 3rd party shit storms where vast sums of money previously spent on local services gets skimmed by outside investors and honorary board members.
Not been a job for life in a long time. Not been the culture of 'starting out' with a company for a long time. Kids are getting longer school hours, extra years of compulsory education and training and finally bullshit customer service apprenticeships or student debt out of the ass to basically keep them out of the work place for as long as possible.
I can't understand this commitment to 100% employment as well as a measure of economic success. For me, being wealthy enough to not have to work would be pretty sweet. I'd rather my society had like 60% employment and we still managed a reasonable standard of living for a majority. That would be a true indicator of wealth and prosperity. Could actually afford to let old people, children, pregnant women, the disabled, adults dedicated to family care or child rearing etc stay at home instead of banging them up in a work camp for increasingly lower wages and meaningless jobs at risk of automation.
My life is in a dump, I´ve been stressed, partially depressed, with horrible load of problems on my back.
My problem is I let too many people (through the time) know I have problems, but I REALLY don´t want them to see me that way at all. It makes me uncomfortable when they see me that way. I can somehow deal with my problems, they can´t help anyway (aside from listening to me ramble), and they have their own problems too.
So my question is: how do you handle/go about showing most of the world the OK/happy/fine side of you even though it´s too much often? (And I´m talking about all social interactions)
Seriously, this is not about being secretly EMO, it´s about appearing to be okay so I would feel more okay myself..
>>16934480
>implying
a good friend doesn't want to see you down, sorry you don't have any. but keeping busy is the best way to fake being ok. don't give yourself time to dwell. forget about the past and always be doing something.
but dealing with your problems will actually make them go away. you gotta put in work and address the issues with yourself breh
I'll go ahead and fall for the bait, what's the problem, anon?
Complain on 4chan so I don't have to complain anywhere else.
Can anyone give me tips on fixing my acne? I've been trying REALLY hard to fix it for a year now. I wash my face with antiseptic and pH neutral face lotion in the morning and before I go to sleep, I never touch my face and make sure to wash my hands at home when I was outside, I have a towel on my pillow I wash every week and I regularly take in magnesium and zinc. I avoid fast and junk food and also anything with lactose because that also gives me zits.
And you know what? My acne really improved. Like it really improved and I was happy at first, but getting used to this really lowkey acne I have now I just want to get rid of this issue completely.
I have no idea how I managed to live through the day in my late teens when my acne was actually bad (not that bad, I'm not one of "those" cases) but I can't accept this anymore. What else can I do now? What's the dropping atom bombs on WW2 Japan equivalent to finally get rid of my acne?
tl;dr: I need a final solution to completely get rid of my acne, since being disciplined with my diet and hygiene isn't enough.
Try marijuana ointment (optimally homemade)
Go to r/skincareaddiction. Yes it's plebbit but it's good advice. Better than anything you'd get here.
Talk to a dermatologist
Every time I see homeless people or beggers on the street I always feel sympathy towards them, like how either bad luck or poor choices lead them to where they are now, and I think that could be me someday if I ever fuck my life up, my question is how or should I help them, I am compelled to help people for the sake of them being as human as I am, i would want to be helped if i was in their situation, but I don't know when to draw the line, I was thinking of donating, but how can you know for sure that the money you give will help someone in need, once you hand your money over, it could be spent on drugs or alcohol (you can tell most of the time), I think I should volunteer and talk person to person or something substantial rather than give handouts, does anyone else feel the same way or do you turn a blind eye
Homeless people are people who are homeless, not objects or animals you can decide for. You cannot blame anyone for buying drugs or alcohol if you decide to give them money, it's they choice to do whatever they want with it. That's always important to keep in mind, as some people feel entitled to I don't know what. Now if someone has a sign saying "I am hungry", you can always ask them if you can buy them something to eat or the like, in a friendly way on eye level.
If you want to really help the homeless, become active and/or volunteer, e.g. at a shelter, food bank, etc.
It really depends on where you live, the sort of thing you'll need to do some real research on. Learn what the support system for homeless people is, learn the general reasons people become homeless etc.
Like in America, a lot of perfectly normal people are homeless right now because of financial issues and other bullshit and really need all the help they can get and it's probably fair enough to throw them a few bucks. In countries with thriving economies who take care of the homeless, most of the people who are in that position are pretty much out of your reach to help, giving them money is flushing it down the toilet and the best you could do is maybe look into whether you can support an organisation. In shit holes like India, people will cripple children and set them up as beggars to gain sympathy from tourists, so giving them cash is supporting a horrifying industry.
>>16934269
best thing is usually to give to or work through an organization that really works with them to change their entire lives.
I give to a lot of charitable causes, but I won't hand a few dollars out the window to the guy that's standing by the stoplight with a sign. That's because I realized a long time ago that they are intentionally picking their location to minimize their interaction with you. I've given to people when I can have a conversation with them about what they need, what their plans are, where they are going, etc.
Streetside people don't want to have that conversation with you. That's why they are targeting people in cars that have to drive away as soon as the light turns green.
Any Brits here with experience using escorts?
Are the websites they have fake, how do i know if its a police sting, if those even exist?
Prostitution is legal in the UK assuming you aren't soliciting services on the street and there is only one girl per property. Brothels are illegal, but going to an independent girls house is perfectly fine.
This site is legit:
http://www.adultwork.com/Home.asp
>>16934261
>how do i know if its a police sting
The police have better things to do.
>>16934261
It won't be a police sting. But it won't be the girl in the photo either.
It will be either a 50 year old ex-streetwalker or a scrawny underage drug-addled illegal immigrant.
For work i've been asked to write a 4-5 minute comedy sketch which has the potential to make it onto TV, however, comedy is not my forte- so I wondered if any of you creative people at /adv/ have any ideas you can throw at me, can be as controversial as you wish, throw it at me
your life
idk but I remember this podcast I listened to had an episode that discussed skit construction, pretty interesting. They fuck around talking about other shit for ages too though, so just a 'if you have a long commute and nothing to listen to, might as well' suggestion, might do better with google.
http://nerdist.com/you-made-it-weird-275-keegan-michael-key/
How did you get saddled with something like this if you don't even write comedy?
>>16934280
I usually edit, however, I have been asked to fill someone's writing position as another writer has unfortunately fallen ill
I think I have avoidant personality disorder. I'm confident in one-to-one and group interaction. I am not afraid to speak or even look a bit foolish at times. I just don't really WANT to be with people most of the time.
I'll actively avoid situations where I might have to get drawn in to conversations. I never bother to see anyone outside of the normal context I see them. Not because I'm afraid or shy or nervous, but because I just don't want to.
My question is, is this a problem? It's called a "disorder" which sounds like it's a bad thing. However, I don't feel bad about it. Should I?
>I think
Get properly diagnosed and stop self diagnosing
OP here again. Does anyone have advice/opinions they wish to share?
Stop self diagnosing.
![Social-Security-Disability-Claims-Philadelphia-PA-300x199[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/HZw4J1T.jpg "Social-Security-Disability-Claims-Philadelphia-PA-300x199[1]")
I've been contemplating applying for disability for years due to my mental illness conditions. Every time I do manage to get a job, I only last a week because my mental conditions make it impossible for me to interact with society. Just going to the store to get groceries is a difficult task for me.
I have felt ashamed all these years about my mental illness conditions, which is why I have never applied for disability, but I'm at a point financially where if I don't at least try to get it, I'll be homeless within 6 months.
>>16934190
i am in the same boat yet on it (at least in my cuntry) sorry but i don't know how burgerland's payment prerequisites, good luck anon.
>>16934190
I recently got awarded disability for mental health stuff. I am in the US so I can speak about that, but idk about other countries. Where do you live?
>>16935266
I'm not OP but also in the US and I feel like I'm about to get fired from work because I've been missing so much due to anxiety. How difficult is it to be on disability for depression/anxiety? I've had it for years but there's no way to prove that since I didn't see any doctor until last year.
