Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1214. page
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Soon, I am leaving my country forever and moving to the other side of the world, more or less. About 2-3 months ago, I met a girl and we kinda clicked, and we decided to just see each other casually for a bit until I left.
It actually worked very well, we just hung out, had sex, did some activities we liked doing around town and stuff like that. Back then it seemed easy to just kiss goodbye, maybe let a tear at the airport and then move on with life. But the reality is that I fell in love with her really hard. She in me as well I guess, and dealing with is gonna be way tougher than I wanted to deal with.
LTR or any form of making this work is out of the question due to work and visa issues, I really just want advice on how to deal with this. Drink it away? Fuck other girls? Gym?
pls help I'm fucking dying inside
It sounds like you know the answer already.
>>16937769
Are you a Syrian refugee of military age?
>>16937769
You only fell in love because you know it has to end
Move on
Anyone successful here who feel others keep trying to bring them down?
there are always people trying to tear you down.
>>16937767
Nope.
>>16937802
Tripfags aren't successful anyway so you have nothing to contribute
So /adv/, I don't really know what to think about all this right now so I'll cut right to the chase. Basically I'm suspecting a friend (we'll call him S) and a girl I like (again, we'll call her A) of possibly doing the deed together. S is known to be very upfront with sexual advances while A is very open about her fetishes. I questioned S about it and he claimed he never did anything with her.
>S:nope
>S:has never been brought up
Meanwhile I also questioned A about the very same thing.
>A:oh we did talk about it but we never did anything.
Am I thinking about this to hard or is there a lie going on here?
>>16937698
Why aren't you fucking both of them right now?
Why does it matter? Are you in a relationship with either of them?
Does it matter? You're not getting with A either way
I kind of think my retail job is aiming to give me a promotion but nothing has happened yet
This week a nice old lady came to me, I served her and she told my manager I was the best person who ever served her in the store
Then the next day I've had 2 Supervisors come up to me and ask questions like "What do you plan on doing when blah" and "Would you stick around at this place in the long run"
I said the basic "Yeah if more opportunities dropped my way then yes"
Should I like be going to ask for this?
Should I change my avaibility to midnight for closing shifts? I have to catch public transport but the last bus stops at 11PM
>>16937651
>retail job
>promotion
Promotion to what? Shiny wageslave?
>>16937656
Supervisor
Its basically more responsibility and less tiring work
And like nearly double what Im making now
>>16937651
Sit tight. Keep on doing what you're doing now. Don't change shifts or look for more work.
They've got their eye on you, and your best chance at impressing them is to go on doing what you do well.
I'm this type of person who's against the flow, because of that i have no groups in our school but i'm not a loner i'm very open to talk with them. When i try to mingle with them, i ask them do you know this band, etc. sorry i don't do that.
>Now here's the problem, where having this type of reunion
should I go or not?
>>16937620
4chan is an 18+ site.
>>16937625
that's why i said reunion =_= i'm 33 now
>>16937625
i want some advice what should i gonna do... if i go who'll i talk to or maybe how shall i start the conversation
Okay, /adv/ I need some opinions. I called in sick to work the past two days to go to a con. I thought I had work at 3pm tomorrow so I wasn't worried but I'm actually scheduled to work a double shift starting at 11am. Now this poses a huge issue since if I'd known that normally I'd have been in bed fucking hours ago. But anyway the issue is this; can I get away with calling in a third day tomorrow? I don't think it's too unrealistic for someone to be sick for three days. On top of this I've only called in sick one other time in the past three months and I really was sick. I'm the only person there who can do my job now though.
All our other employees quit and it's down to me and a new guy who can work. Granted we're just making pizza, pasta, and such but when we get busy we would be a little strapped to keep up with four people working. I feel like because of this fact there is a really good chance she wont fire me because she's kind of fucked after literally every one else quit because they hate her. Except one guy who was fired for calling in sick to many weekends. But to be fair those are all different weekends which is much weirder than one consecutive set of days that just so happen to be on a weekend.
Thanks for your time guys.
Also I'd need to wake up in six hours to go and I'm wiped the fuck out from the con.
>>16937614
Do your work you lazy faggot.
I don't know the policy where you work, but if you're calling in sick for three or more days where I work, you need a doctor's note.
> I don't think it's too unrealistic for someone to be sick for three days.
It's not, but if you were that sick, you'd have gone to the doctor
>On top of this I've only called in sick one other time in the past three months and I really was sick.
Once in three months is not infrequent. It's been years since I last called in sick. If you think that they should be more lenient because you've only been sick once in a mere three months, then you're mistaken.
Someone stole a computer chair from the hotel I work at on my shift. I've checked the cameras and I can't find anything. I'm not too worried, but I don't know if I should tell my boss or not. I work nights and I'm the only one here.
>>16937593
Just tell your boss the whole story; you'll probably get off with only a warning if this is your first mishap.
Besides most likely someone just misplace that chair.
>>16937609
Is it even a mishap though? If I'm at the front desk, I can't see the chair and the computer lounge and back entrance aren't visible but are connected. If I'm in the back, I'm doing shit and not looking at the cameras.
>>16937616
That's a pretty big blindspot; I'm betting this is not the first time a chair disappeared. Your boss should know this too.
Also better check if the hotel got a murderous animatronic running around...
So /adv/, I'm 22 yr old male, living at home. Depressed as fuck, feel unattractive/worthless. Had sex with probably 40 grills in life. Don't know a single one I could hit up, although I don't think I ended things on particularly bad terms. No idea how to get/be in a relationship. What do? Only LTR was with weaboo with attachment issues.
>>16937583
>20
>Had sex with probably 40 grills in life
You're damaged goods
when you hit rock bottom, you'll decide to change your life. join AA, stop drinking, drugs, get a job
live alone for a while and learn to care about yourself. but first go get tested for stds if you're infected with something, don't bother trying to fix yourself
>>16937590
ok.
>>16937594
dont drink or drug much these days, working at coffee shop while in college, std test clean. still worthless.
>stop hanging out with old friends all that much because of conflicing schedules
>no bad terms or anything, we just all have different lives now that we're older
>new friends from job are stoners
>smoke a lot of weed erry day now
>schedule changes again, can hang out with old friends again
>they just want to smoke a lot of weed every time we hang out
>I still appreciate being sober with them which is what I consider normal, that just doesnt happen a lot with other friends
>smoking with them is weird because their low tolerance and we didnt party in highschool
>the most Im used to turning up with them is drinking on occasion
>feel like Im just being hit up because I have and can get bud
What do? Its kinda shitty because theyre my really good friends. I just feel like part of the reason Im getting hit up is because I usually have or always can get bud.
I mean do they have any other way of getting it? Do they not seem to legitimately enjoy your presence?
you are doing it right op
millions of kids out there would give their left nut to be a stoner like you. now stop complaining that your life suck and spark up
>>16937570
They could but theyd have to go way way out of their way. They dont know the first thing about smoking or smoking etiquette which makes every session a learning experience, nor do they now a reliable dealer, or about how to get a medical rec. Theyve smoked at parties ands thats about it. My issue is I feel its like "oh hey Im bored and also wanna get high so Ill hit up anon" rather than "oh hey im bored so Ill hit up anon because I havnt seen him in a while".
I'm 21 and I would like to have sex with an older woman, like 30's or 40's.
How do I even do this? Craigslist is all bots and I don't have a facebook for twitter.
>>16937560
I meant tinder, not twitter.
Make fake profile account with just a few pics you want to use. Get tinder. Set the age limits if you want.
There are other options I'm sure. Tinder works well enough though.
>>16937573
meant facebook btw soz
Why am I so lazy, /adv/? I can't be bothered to do anything aside from lying around in my bed, there are even shows I really want to watch and vidya I really want to play, but can't get my lazy ass up to do that. People say that means I don't really like them, but I've been doing literally NOTHING but lying on bed browsing 4chan.
It's not that I feel life doesn't have anything to offer me, but for some reason I just can't be arsed to do anything.
Could you get a site blocker that specifically blocks 4chan for the peak hours of the day and night (free and sleep times)? Is that possible
I feel ya OP. Most of the time I just lay in bed. I'm depressed sure, but I'm not even tired. I'll just lay there because getting up is too hard.
>>16937550
>>16937624
I've been and still am in your shoes in many ways. Read this book (or as a lazy person you might want to do as I did and listen to the audiobook): The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris.
> pic related
It will give you some useful ways of thinking about things. I'd also recommend you only spend your energy gazing at successful people and emulate them (fake it till you make it, more or less). I like listening to Mike Cernovich's podcast and reading his articles. I like to look at what successful people around me do and just do what they do even though it feels as if it sucks as I'm doing it (it feels less sucky for each time, now it almost feels good).
You know what I found made me the most lazy? Being lazy. 4chan isn't your problem - it is merely a symptom. Do one thing which isn't lazy: buy/torrent the book I recommended and listen/read it all the way through.
> About me
Failed high school, been NEET for about 6 months now and am in debt. Got disavowed by my mother with whom I live and I'm about to get kicked out. Been suicidal with anxiety attacks the past few months but decided to get my act together instead using the tips I gave you. Just scored a one month test period for a job as a social marketing and web shop coordinator for a high-end electronics store, been working out for two weeks (but I can't afford a gym card yet) and I am slowly but surely getting what we commonly refer to as "discipline".
So here is the deal about me
I'm 22 years old and a virgin (Like most threads on this board apparently) Now I've always had a pretty high "sex" drive so I always wanked a lot. shit ton of porn but I think it finally bit me in the arse. I met a girl who really likes me but since I have been making out with her I started to have less and less boners. It even got the the point that when we were about to have sex and she was naked grinding on top of me I couldn't even get hard. I've never felt like a biger loser.
Whats wrong with me and how do I fix it.
>>16937514
Eat fruit.
Look up death grip syndrome and stop looking at porn
>>16937514
Anxiety. Tell her what's going on and move towards sex at a slower pace together. Goes away with a little bit of time and practice.
What do you do in a situation where another person has social dominance and you want to make yourself more relevant?
Basically I can't really compete with this friend who is consistently funnier and talks a lot more than I do. We have basically the same humor, but he's much better at articulating his words on the fly so his jokes are communicated better.
He's married and I hang with him and his wife often along with a female friend who I'm trying to make a stronger impression on.
I know he gets a kick out of being entertaining to guests, especially since he seems pretty miserable with his wife so it's a nice boost for him - but I just don't know how I can better assert myself other than drinking beforehand (does wonders for my confidence).
>>16937506
Can you ask him to just wingman for you?
>>16937506
caffeine pills usually make me more sociable
>>16937507
I don't really want to ask him to 'restrain himself' or anything, that's kind of a dick move and I really love and respect this guy.
Only time I felt a little annoyed was when I made a joke about something happening at the time which was a little soft and only he heard it, so then he said it out loud and got big laughs out of it.
But it's not like I'd cause a scene and be all "HEY MAN YOU STOLE MY JOKE"
How many people there still enjoy the company of their childhood/school friends?
Why do people assume it automatically makes you a jerk if you don't?
At school I made friends only by similar interests. An insecure weirdo I was, I never opened or connected emotionally to them. Is it alright if I ditch them? Our interests don't overlap anymore.
I haven't talked to anyone from high school outside of Facebook since I graduated 8 years ago. I left the country anyway.
I'd say it's not a big a deal then, and I get what you're saying
I have a friend who I've known since 1 year old literally, dude and I are cool I guess, but our interests don't overlap anymore much, all he does is drink, rap (srs), party, get in trouble with cops. I think I'll always have some level of loyalty with him specifically because he's like a brother, but even then I just can't hang out with the dude that much, I don't enjoy drinking much anymore, he doesn't enjoy lifting like I do, he's constantly in trouble with the law because he does dumb shit all the time, he has no goals or drive to do anything in life but be a badass thug rapper. I'm finished surrounding myself with low life's, you are who you hang out with, and I want better for myself, I want success, money, to go to school, the whole 9 yards.
So especially for guys I've known since like middle school which is still a really long time, most of them just seem like low lives. Maybe it's my shit hometown, who knows.
>>16937493
This is one of those situations in which either choice - keeping up with old friends or moving beyond them - is perfectly normal and there is no right and wrong.
Most childhood friendships are friendships-of-proximity. That is, you play with the kids who live next door. That pattern continues through your teens - friends are people in your class or clubs or teams, and that external connection is the main thing holding together people who might otherwise have different personalities or tastes.
When that connection is broken - when you graduate or move away, say, - it is very common to discover that there isn't much else holding you together. Meanwhile you are likely to make new friendships-of-proximity at college or on a job.
Despite this, some people do keep up with old friends, and that's very nice. But it is no more "right" or "normal".
Not a spelling mistake, how do I even into life?
I have mild symptoms of autism, I'm somewhere on the spectrum but it's not too bad. But I've basically never had to do anything myself because of it.
I'm 20 now, live with my sister (my family doesn't want me to live alone), get enough money from the government to lead a super comfy life, halfheartedly attend a school, don't have to clean the house or do anything really, my mom even comes over every week and washes my clothes for me.
The thing is, I want to be more independent and do those things myself. I asked my mother about it and she always tells me that it's okay this way and that I shouldn't worry about it.
What should I do? How can I become more independent with a family like that?
Also, I barely know anyone, I don't have any friends and only acquaintances at school, I'm kinda weird in social situations, how do I meet people to hang out with? I have a feeling that would also be important to lead a normal life.
Anon the key is to just do things before others can do it for you. That independence will lead to a passion or hobby and then friends.
I can answer any questions more specifically if you want.
>>16937522
I thought about that, but I have no clue how to properly do any of those things. I'd need to ask my mother how to use the washing machine but she'll just tell me to leave it alone, she'll do it for me, etc.
Don't worry man I got you first off (I think you already know this) but you got a family that's got your back a family that'll go to hell and back for you and that's more then can be said for a lot of people in this world now keep that in mind I'll come back to it in a second
Secondly: if you want to start living you just gotta start living those things (let's call them chores for lack of a better word) you just gotta do them the Internet is your tool look up how to use the laundry machines find a recipe for a dish your sister likes and while she's gone make it for her so when she comes home you can eat it together its little things like that that'll show the people around you that you can take care of yourself not that you don't need your family (we all need someone who loves us) but that you don't need them to try so hard for you
Third: the best way for friends and such is to take your passion in life and go out find people who like that passion to and go do it with them trust me just go do things with people for example you play a guitar or the drums or the goddamn piccolo just find someone who does it to and play with them the rest will figure itself out but just remember your best friends are still your family and when see what your trying to do they help you and that is exactly what you want cause their already your friends if you need them to help you make friends then screw it teach me how to play piccolo and bring me along with you
Dude I hope I helped and good luck I don't know you at all but I believe in and kamina always said "don't believe in yourself believe in the me that believes in you"
