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I met a girl 6 month ago and we have had a whirlwind of a relationship with really great highs and terrible lows. It ended badly and she told me she wanted out, so I obliged. No contact was initiated.
For two weeks I tried hard to move on. I saw a girl I vaguely knew (we met through a friend) and I had a chat with her. We hit it off real well. We've been talking for two weeks. And every day we get closer.
Now yesterday the first girl contacted me and informed me she deeply regretted ending it. She talked to me in a manner which he never spoke with before. I can feel that she really regrets what she did. now I have two of these girls that are clearly interested and I don't know what to do. Do I play it cool and just talk to both? Do I just move on from the first?? Help me /adv/
>>17367697
>whirlwind of a relationship with really great highs and terrible lows
Got out of a relationship like that 6 months ago. It's not worth it in the end. It becomes almost addictive to have a relationship like that and it's painful when it ends for good. If you're having this whole breakup nonsense happening now it will never end. The last relationship I was in was constantly this shit and we didn't know how to stop. It hurts more than anything else, from my experience and the highs will start to fade and it's going to turn from being highs and lows to just being lows.
>>17367705
So far it seems ok...is this temporary?
>>17367736
Yeah. She will make you feel bad for as long as you know her for when she finds out you're trying to pick between her and this other girl, if she's the way I think she is.
Just cut your losses and go with the new girl. If you really think you'll be okay then go with the old girl you broke up with. Sometimes things work out, but if it ends and it goes on for a while it will hurt.
so my girlfriend was beaten and raped every day form the age of 9 till 13 form her uncle and at 12 she got pregnant and was beaten till she lost the baby.
shes very Christian and doesnt believe in abortion so she feels like a bad mom for not protecting her child and she has nightmares every night about it and she would cut herself.
so now that we are together she promised to tell me if she felt like doing that again.
but last night she told me she cut her self yesterday.
she feels bad about lying to me. but im happy shes still alive.
im 19 and shes 17
shes keeping our relationship a secret form her parents because theyll make her quit work and she loves work.
this girl is my first kiss and we feel like we will be together forever.
so i just want to know what advice you guys have.
i can explain more if you want.
and sorry for the bad english
>>17367690
Is the Uncle still alive, and if so is he in prison?
Also do you have his address if not?
>>17367690
This is clearly the go ahead for rape fantasy roleplaying.
Find out what aftershave her uncle used.
Get out now op, you'll thank me in the long run.
Am I selfish?
I'm 18, fresh out of high school.
>About a year ago my parents seperated. I hop in my car go and live with the other every two weeks.
>They were very civil about it. Though I moved alot of furniture.
>Naturally, sleeping alone, they get lonely. So they come to me with riveting plans to go to movies, go shopping, etc
>I am a person of extreme solitude who prefers his own company and is working almost every day anyhow, it's not like I'm NEET.
>I regularly reject their proposals to spend time together, though I make some exceptions because I love them and want to make them happy.
>My brother, who usually goes wherever with either parent, regularly chastises me for this, but he has his own problems
Am I being a selfish son?
I feel like they're not entitled to my free time regardless
nah
your time isn't obligated to anyone
although you should suggest alternate activities like monopoly or whatever
Honestly, I'd say at least go with them half the time, at least until you move out. Encourage them in a nice way at the right times to get back in touch with their adult friends or to go join adult classes at gyms or something so that they spend time with other adults and not you.
You're an introvert and your brother is an extrovert who cannot comprehend someone preferring solitude.
I started talking to someone long distance, text + voice only, without expecting it to develop into anything big. Of course, it did. I actually fell for someone. I'm about 23, so I'm not too young, but it hadn't really happened to me before. Yay, I suppose. We finally exchange pictures, and it turns out I'm not attracted to her. It's an odd feeling, having feelings for someone you're not attracted to.
How do I fix this? Change what I'm attracted to or something. I feel like a very small person right now.
>>17367639
Oh, and to get in before an obvious question, she is thin; it's not a question of her doing something to change herself.
>23 not so young
>Fell for someone
>Not attracted to her
It's prolly cause she's not the way you pictured/imagined her. Tho usually if you fall for their personality you become attracted to them. It's happened to me before, there were guys I didn't like at first but when I got to actually know them they became more appealing
I've made a huge mistake. I fell in love with two girls and can only have one. I thought I could drag both relationships out until one was a clear winner but that hasn't happened. I know I'm still young (24) but I'm not the type to date around and I need to pick the one that I think I'd eventually settle down with.
Here's the story:
Girl A. We started dating during junior year of highschool, dated all through college, and have continued to date with 3 breakups in between. I'm the one who did the breaking. We are both 24 now. She was the first girl I ever dated and the one I fell in love with. We grew up together essentially. She's into the outdoors like me and we've always had a great time going hiking, traveling, and backpacking together. After 8 years of dating we have alot of history together. I really like that she has her own hobbies and interests, keeps fit, and eats well. When everything is right, she's happy and fun to be around.
When things aren't completely stress free in her life, she isn't very fun to be around. She doesn't deal with pressure very well and it effects our relationship. Our sex life was never great in my opinion, though I am really attracted to her and how her body reacts to mine. When she would be stressed out from school or something, sex was the last thing she wanted to be bothered with. I told her many times throughout our relationship that sex was important to me. She claimed it was to her, but we've never been quite on the same level.
>1/?
She's somewhat prudish and it takes alot of foreplay and shit to get her clothes off, though there are occasions where she wants me to play with ass. She rarely gives blowjobs and likes to lay down while I do the work. I like doing the work, but I'd want to climb on top on occasion. Outside of sex, she hates talking about sex. Like me, she can be stubborn and hardheaded. I don't have a problem with that except she is easily offended by how I say things sometimes. And then it takes a while for her to let go of whatever I had said. She can get really mean when she's upset, to the point where I've called her a cunt. I don't like the idea of saying that to my wife.
Girl B. I met her on tinder in my home town around thanksgiving of last year while I was still seeing Girl A. I met up with Girl B one night at her house and we quickly got down to having sex. That night lasted close to 5 hours which I had never done with Girl A. We met up again the next night and I really fell for her. While we were having sex, "I love you" slipped out of my mouth. I owned up to it and said that was how I really felt. Thanksgiving was over and I left my hometown to go back to where I worked. After that happened I started to question my relationship with Girl A for the 3rd time. I really felt something for Girl B, so like a big asshole I broke it off with Girl A over text. She came over and cried and cried and I didn't show much love or support. I am greedy. I would meet Girl B every 3-4 weeks. I held off on calling us girlfriend and boyfriend even though she had asked multiple times because I wanted to find a new job close to her.
>2/?
>>17367642
Like clockwork, about a month after not talking to Girl A, my feeling got the best of me and I started having withdrawal. I started talking to her again which included alot of anger and tears. I told her that I'd never do that again. After a few months of job hunting I landed a new gig in the city right next to my hometown. I didn't take the job just because of Girl B, I hated my old job and wanted to jump industries. I took the job and moved in April. Girl B asked again if we were actually dating and I told her yes. I like Girl B because she's easy to be around, doesn't get stressed or offended, is really happy around me, loves having sex with me and nothing is off limits, and very pretty. The thing that mainly bothers me about Girl B is that she doesn't have any real hobbies or interest. She hangs out with her friends and family occasionally, but she has nothing she is is passionate about. She likes some of the same things I do and is down to do whatever, but she doesn't have a drive to do those things on her own.
3/4
>>17367650
Anyways, Girl A moved back to my hometown after her M.S graduation and got a position on the west coast that she was to start about a month later. So during that time I was juggling hanging out with both of them while neither knew. That was stressful. Girl A moved out to the west coast a few weeks ago and I've been hanging out with Girl B alot. It's coming to the point where they both aren't feeling like they can trust me. Girl B found out I was talking to my ex and tried to break it off, but I persuaded her not to. She's upset with right now but she really does love me because she is still here for some reason. I hate living this double life and I feel like I haven't allowed myself to really really fall for Girl B because I still have an attachment to Girl A. At the same time I'm having an extremely difficult time letting go of Girl A because we've had so much time together that she is apart of me. I used to always think about marrying her and still do. Girl B would also be a great wife and mother. Decisions normally come easy to me, but not this. I can't seem to let go of either.
Please ask questions if anything needs explanation.
4/4
I fucking suck at small conversations, telling stories and keep people entertained.
Part of it comes from my total lack of emotions in my everyday life, but I also think I'm boring when I talk, I think I'm too "factual" and very little "emotional".
What can I do to remedy this? Do you think a theatrical arts (or whatever it is called) would help? What else can I do about it? Like, tips for answering, ways to making comments, etc.
Of course, I'm saying this because I spent three hours with a girl I really like, it was just and only the two of us, a drink and a big sofa just for us. I don't think the conversation was that all enjoyable and that she would like to have another one soon.
>>17367615
You lack confidence, you overthink moments instead of savoring them. Whether you wanted to go further with the girl or not, you didn't push the conversation. You don't need to overthink it either, silence happens sometimes, it's good to master the silence, to decide when to shut up.
What can I say about conversations, I'll try to throw some tips :
> Talk at ease, don't bring heavy subjects, start with chitchat.
If you try to bring a complicated subject, that might make the person talk but you don't know the person and you will enter a confrontation, a discrete argument rather than an enjoyable conversation
> Adapt to the person
I am not saying that about the subject, but rather the form, how you will behave and what gesture you give her. You can talk about the same subject to 1000 people and still have a different conversation everytime
> Push her to speak, ask questions, opinions
Having a conversation is not making a conference, you must force her to talk and the easiest way to do it is to ask about things you know she will have an opinion upon. Something like " Wow, you drink. I drink that too, that's the best stuff in here, don't you think ?" (I'm using this example because I'm saying something that is a fact, I see the girl drinking her glass, I can assume she likes it. Do not use the same approach about anything, that might sounds stupid or needy)
> Try to show emotions when she speaks, interruption, even though it's rude can be use in a good manner. Stopping her to say "No really, how did that happen ?" "Well that must be nice" etc. Again, don't abuse it, just show interest
I can't think of something else right now. Just explore people in conversation, enjoy language and meta-language (the gesture, her eyes, looking at her or showing her a thing on the wall or some shit, etc)
I hope that helps you even a little, anything else you need to know ?
Good luck
start making videos and posting them on youtube. Analyze yourself, improve, post more videos, repeat.
You're going to hang onto some advice you get here, but the bottom line is that you'll never come off as funny, charismatic or intriguing as you want to be. Media has a lot to do with this.
It's important to recognize that fact so you don't try to Don Draper your way into a girl's bed. Simply try some redirection if you feel the conversation is becoming dry or forced.
Are you active? There are plenty of things to do outside that provide an excellent social lubricant. Bring a frisbee or a lawn game or a hacky sack or anything that can alleviate silence if that's what makes you uncomfortable. Take a walk down the block and grab a cup of coffee, or play a game together (Pokemon Go, if you're into it, is an excellent, excellent way to practice meeting new people and soft social skills).
Realize that you aren't Brad Pitt and that you need to offer more than interesting conversation.
>deal with depression for over a decade
>see doctor, but doctor didn't make the problem any better
>try to better myself, always fall back into old habits
>suicidal urges become overwhelming
I don't think I can do this anymore. I just cut off all contact with my closest/only friend. I tried one of those 24/7 suicide hotlines, but all operators are busy (ironic). As much as I understand that suicide shouldn't be an answer, the thought of it just brings me so much peace. I don't know what to do. Please help me /adv/.
Do something radically different in your life. Do something you've wanted to do, something radically different, or something you've been afraid to do like moving to a new location or something. Or just do drugs and stuff the pain down. Whatever you do don't kill yourself and do your best to keep in touch with your friends
>>17367741
I honestly like how that sounds. My problem lately is that I find myself completely unwilling to act though. Like, I literally have to force myself out of bed to just to eat. Doing something radical feels impossible.
do something that you really wanted to do but thought you could never do or that it would affect the rest of your life. i mean if you are gonna kill yourself do something cool to at least enjoy part of life before you off yourself. Like for instance bang a really hot chick or race a sports car something like that. You might find that you want to live because of something cool from that. If you don't what are you out?
What would you do with this? Its like a second floor on my room (only acces with a ladder that isnt in my room)
There's a bed and a punching bag that im planing to remove
sleep up there
>>17367606
Build a fort for the upcoming racewar out of pillows and blankets.
Is it normal to hear cops five times in a god damn day? I just moved to this place. I hear them at least once every day. In the few weeks I've been here, I've also seen them twice. Once going to my neighbor's for a domestic situation, once an undercover parked in the middle of a lot, got out and said "THERE'S MARIJUANA SMOKE" with me being the only one in hearing range (there wasn't).
There have also been shit tons of loud planes flying overhead today, but that's probably military drills due to Turkey and France.
>>17367600
Probably very normal for where you live. I grew up in Los Angeles where sirens, helicopters, and general road sounds are the normal background noise.
>>17367620
Does this equal more potential crime and police brutality? I guess it does. Just really not used to that.
>>17367646
The more police activity you hear almost certainly means there's more crime going on, and more criminals means more (justified) police retaliation.
Just keep yourself safe from bad people and you should be fine.
I'm helping a family member clean out their storage area, and I need some advice.
She's past due by one month, and can't afford to keep the space any longer. I managed to scrape up some funds to cover the current balance, but I'm unable to cover the cost of a U-Haul to move the large furniture she has stored.
This leaves me with three options, which I need help with.
a) I can see if Salvation Army can do a pickup. I already checked Goodwill, and they don't do pickups in my area. I'm trying to see if there's other places in my area which will pick up without a fee, but it doesn't look likely.
b) Try to sell the furniture. The best option I can think of for this, since we can't move them ourselves, is to try to sell them as a lot on craigslist. Now, much of that furniture isn't that valuable, but there are a few good, yet old pieces there. I was thinking that it could go for about $300, with the buyer responsible for moving the items, which would be enough to both cover the money I paid for the storage area, and give her some extra spending money to last on for a few weeks.
c) After clearing out everything else, we'd just leave the furniture in there and not come back. This isn't the best idea, as she would be left with the growing bill.
Now, I want to go for the B option, but since I'm going to be cleaning as much as I can out on the 20th, that leaves me with a little over a week to try and get them sold before she's charged another month. Selling everything as a lot will likely scare people off, but it's the only way I can see in getting the storage area cleared out in time.
If anyone has any advice, suggestions, or know how in dealing with situations like these, I really need it.
>>17367599
Call the local furniture bank. If you leave it there, it becomes the property of the storage unit. Yuuup
nobody is going to haul away trash for you for free
>>17367605
> it becomes the property of the storage unit.
despite what you might've seen on TV, it's not that simple.
Hey /adv/ I'm a 19 year old who needs some advice on moving out, but I'm not sure if I'm even able to do it atm.
>19, going to community college
>work at an urban outfitters making minimum, with a 2nd job tutoring coming with the fall semester
>majority of apartments cost about 800$ plus for a one bedroom, and this is incredibly less then what I make
I'm not really sure what to do here. I don't want to fuck up college, but everyday I'm pretty sure my dad is getting closer and closer to just kicking my ass to the curb.
Gonna grab a bump, I dunno, I just kinda feel pushed into a corner, and don't know what to do.
Look to flat or rent a few rooms in a larger home. Or just one room is a medium-sized home.
>>17367587
Having a roommate or two (or three, really as many as you can accommodate space for) is basically the standard where I live. You all split the rent equally and while your room is your business you set down some ground rules everyone can agree on for common spaces. Split the bills and get a slightly more expensive apartment split several ways so everyone finds the overall outcome affordable.
If you can manage it, get a three-way lifestyle at a cost you could afford split two ways. This way if two of you ever have a joint issue with #3 that can't be resolved without booting his ass or if someone fucks off, you don't lose the apartment while looking for a replacement.
Last night i slept over my boyfriend's house. Every time i've slept there in the past (dozens of times) we would be literally dying of anticipation waiting for his mother to go to sleep so we could fuck each other's brains out for hours. However when i went over there last night i had absolutely no desire to have sex with him--extremely odd, ever since i started having it i've never ever gotten tired of sex. Didn't feel any anticipation for it while at work, didn't think about it on the way to his house from work, nothing. He acted cool with it but i could tell it threw him off as well.
Also, i haven't really felt the need to talk to him everyday like usual, or make plans with him. I still feel like i care about him and feelings of adoration when we're together but something is different. We've been dating for about seven months.
What could it be anons? Help? Opinions?
Two options:
1. Out of honeymoon period. The thrill of the new relationship is done maybe? It's not odd to not want sex or to not want to talk all the time after some time getting to know someone.
2. Losing feelings from his behaviour. Is he acting needy, clingy, beta, anything really that puts you off? Think about if it's something that's been nagging at you and pulling away from how you used to like him.
>>17367594
Well he actually is clingy. We work at the same restaurant and every time i move to a different room, he's bound to follow. He wants hugs and kisses every second of every day. I can definitely overpower him when it comes to authority
how old are you? how many partners have you had?
My GF's ex messaged her today asking how she's been. she always says how he was an arsehole and regrets even dating him. I asked her if she was going to ignore him and she said 'if its a convo i will but not if its important idk'. I asked how it could possibly be important, to which she replied 'idk'. I'm not sure how to interpret this and her reaction. also would it seem untrustworthy if i asked her if she ignored? i'd be annoyed if she replied
A different ex of hers messaged her earlier in the year and I felt like she used it as a game by blaming my disapproval of the ex messaging her and her chit chatting as me not trusting her. If she even suggested that she meet an ex to 'catch up' I'd break up with her
Forgot to also add, my gf flips out if even a girl from college messages me relating to an assignment
sounds like shes seflish
>>17367713
I asked her why she didn't ignore and she said that she 'was worried something could have been wrong and people commit suicide if they don't have someone to reach out to'. Makes literally no sense but I can see she's trying to make it look like she only replied to make sure he was okay and I'm a bad person for not wanting her to make sure someone isn't in need
Hey everyone, hope you're doing well.
>be me , 18
>girl wants dick
>kinda cute
>REALLY wants the dick
>haven't had a girlfriend before, could probably make a summer fling out of this before college
but
>not a one stand kind of guy
>don't exactly like her enough to enjoy her being my girlfriend either
>would feel shitty if I asked her out on a date just to use her for experience in college
what do /adv/?
Just find a different girl, fucking simple.
simply act as your own person, persay
>>17367550
the girl I actually want to fuck I don't have her number, and I don't think I could make it happen before I leave for the summer.
If I'm making on average $2000-2800 a month, and I wouldn't have to pay mortgage, how much would my monthly expenses have to be for me to be fine?
Context, I'm a freelancer, and this is only from one company, so it's likely I'll be making $4000 a month within the next year, but I want to move out soon and I'm just trying to figure things out.
what do you mean by fine? like are you saving for retirement or are you just talking about having some extra cash incase the shit hits the fan?
>>17367542
Kinda both? Also taxes at the end of the year and shit.
Well I don't really know but good luck.
