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Whelp...

http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/crime/body-parts-in-seattle-recycling-bin-identified-as-those-of-missing-mother/
10 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
man this is /news/ we don't give a fuck about white dude's and their violent crime. this is a place for hating niggers, spics, and women. back to plebbit with this shit. if you can make this about how she fucked up then you might have something.

http://q13fox.com/2016/04/11/police-say-human-remains-found-in-seattle-thought-to-be-those-of-missing-renton-mom-of-3-suspect-arrested/
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>>38394
Fuck off back to /pol/, dickmuncher.
>>
>>38405
Moron

>>38394
Terrible tumblrina false flag.

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http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/12/business/dealbook/goldman-sachs-to-pay-5-1-billion-in-mortgage-settlement.html

>State and federal officials said on Monday that Goldman Sachs would pay $5.1 billion to settle accusations of wrongdoing before the financial crisis.

>But that is just on paper. Buried in the fine print are provisions that allow Goldman to pay hundreds of millions of dollars less — perhaps as much as $1 billion less — than that headline figure. And that is before the tax benefits of the deal are...
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>>38217
other coverage:

>Goldman Sachs pays $5 billion to settle allegations it sold shoddy mortgages
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/business/wp/2016/04/11/goldman-sachs-pays-5-billion-to-settle-allegations-it-sold-shoddy-mortgages-prior-to-financial-crisis/

>Goldman Sachs to pay $5 billion in U.S. Justice Dept mortgage bond pact
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-goldman-sachs-mbs-settlement-idUSKCN0X81TI

>Goldman...
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The only thing "punishing" corporations accomplishes is filling the state's coffers anyway. People are the ones who do crimes, and there's no incentive for them to stop if they don't get punished.
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>>38217
hmmm

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So this is bugging the hell out of me, who is the celebrity that UK news sources are barred from naming?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/10/celebrity-threesome-injunction-scottish-newspaper-names-stars-be/
12 replies and 0 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>38134
It might be Elton John's husband, according to
http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2016/04/08/apparently-this-is-the-celebrity-in-that-threesome-scandal/
Fuck Britain though
>>
>>38134
I don't know
>>
>>Same here, Gotta be a Scottish pal or American who take a picture of the paper or something!

http://qz.com/658807/a-yahoo-daily-mail-merger-could-turn-the-internet-into-the-worst-kind-of-tabloid/

>The company that owns the British tabloid the Daily Mail—and its highly trafficked website—is exploring a potential bid for Yahoo with the help of a private equity backer, the Wall Street Journal reports (paywall). While the Daily Mail & General Trust is just one of dozens of players that may bid for Yahoo, if the company succeeds, news on the internet may never be the same.

>Any combination is likely...
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27 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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related:

http://www.wsj.com/articles/u-k-s-daily-mail-explores-bid-for-yahoo-backed-by-private-equity-1460324999

>The U.K.’s Daily Mail has emerged as a suitor for Yahoo Inc. ’s assets, joining a wide group of interested companies that includes telecom giant Verizon Communications Inc. as an April 18 deadline for preliminary offers nears, according to people familiar with the matter.

>The parent company of the Daily Mail, the British newspaper and global tabloid website, is in talks with several private-equity...
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>>38083
>you live to see Yahoo! get sold for peanuts to a fucking gossip mag
Did Yahoo get here because of its feminist workforce?
>>
>>38110
probably
now that Yahoo owns tumblr i wonder what would happen if the dailymail purchased them

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>Facebook Wants You To Friend Its Upcoming Business Bots
http://www.forbes.com/sites/parmyolson/2016/04/11/facebook-wants-you-to-friend-its-new-business-bots/#1280300d7380

>Facebook's F8 Has The Digerati Chatting About Bots
http://www.mediapost.com/publications/article/273165/facebooks-f8-has-the-digerati-chatting-about-bots.html

>F8 Speculation: Facebook Messenger Chat Bots, Web Plugins for Businesses
http://www.adweek.com/socialtimes/f8-messenger-chat-bots-web-plugins/637568

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>>38137
> Cost is $2.01
> Pays $2.00
> Still works
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>>38141
Its in Canada, pennies were phased out so all purchases round to the nearest nickel.
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>>38166

Well that must drive CPA's cray cray bananas

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http://edition.cnn.com/2016/04/11/americas/ontario-attawapiskat-suicide-attempts-state-of-emergency/index.html
https://twitter.com/JustinTrudeau/status/719308218803965952
>The 2,000-strong indigenous community in the far north of the Canadian province has seen a spate of suicide attempts over the past eight months -- over 100 members, young and old, have tried to take their own lives.
>The situation came to a heartbreaking head this weekend, as community leaders in the tiny James Bay town were forced to declare a...
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>>38120
>Saturday's shocking revelations follow another tragic month -- 28 Attawapiskat residents attempted suicide in March, more than 100 since September of last year.
>One person has successfully taken their life since September.
Why do these snowniggers suck so badly at killing themselves?
They don't really sound that suicidal, t.b.h.
>>
>>38129
Especially considering most attempts are at around 10% (https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter/means-matter/case-fatality/)

although a different source claims it's much lower than that: http://lostallhope.com/suicide-statistics
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>>38120
Natives kill themslves all the fucking time. I had plenty of contact with Davis Inlet people when I was in Labrador. They all just drink and sniff gas to the point where they are brain damaged retards and then cant cope and kill themeslves when the goverment tries to help by getting them off that shit thats killing them.

I had this one retarded native kid when I was in school. He loved sniffing gas so much he started rubbing it on his gums like fucking cocaine, and ended up losing all his teeth. Ended up with the...
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Don't let him get away with it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/11/us/politics/paul-ryan-a-mirage-candidate-wages-a-parallel-campaign.html
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>38070
I like Paul Ryan better than everyone else in the race, but he's not running. His speaking tours are aimed at holding the party's majorities in Congress.

It's a prudent move considering the damage Trump is threatening. For the sake of the parties and the country the executive branch needs to be nerfed.
>>
>>38070
>And his office continued to beat back the not-exactly-library-voice whisper campaign favoring a coup at the Republican convention in July that would elevate Mr. Ryan to the top of the ticket.

He ain't gunning for the 2016 election, but he is setting the groundwork for his later career and possibly revitalizing the GOP.

Ryan isn't stupid, he's already repeatedly declined to run for the 2016 election because he doesn't want to get caught in that train-wreck....
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>>38070
Ryan won't run. He isn't stupid, and know it's not his time. He can't unite the party as it is and has very few brag-worthy accomplishments to his name. He will probably run later in his life though.

Make no mistake, there is no white knight establishment candidate coming to the rescue for 2016. Kasich won't get shit, and if he does the party will revolt. It's Ted v Trump this July.

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http://nypost.com/2016/04/11/islamist-who-killed-five-somali-journalists-executed-by-firing-squad/
5 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Ahh the NYpost, Rupert Murdoch's #2 best paper after TheSun for highlighting the most outrageous things going on in the world. I'm not whining, I just haven't seen them on /news/ in a while.

>somali journalists
They have those in Somalia now?
>>
>>38210
techincally he was working al-Shabab
>>
>>38209
I glad they covered the execution and brought out the mardi gras ropes for the occasion. The though of this inbred buffoon, chewing khat, wagging his fat finger in the air, and telling you how to do your job alone is utterly repulsive.

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Boko Haram actually kills more people than ISIS

https://acrossthelinesnews.com/2016/04/10/while-isis-claims-all-the-headlines-boko-haram-kills-more-people/
5 replies and 0 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>38148
Assad kills more people than ISIS.
ISIS kills more ISIS fighters than anyone else.
Terrorism is less threatening to western civilization than any number of things people don't talk or care about (including rust).
>>
>>38151
Rust is a good game
>>
>>38158
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/03/rust-never-sleeps/384972/

http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2016/4/9/11397248/woman-prays-to-league-of-legends-statue-garen

An elderly woman in China is quickly becoming a meme for League of Legends fans after someone in an Internet cafe posted photos of her praying to a statue of Garen on the sidewalk.

The photo, which was posted to the Chinese social network Weibo, has attracted attention from fans around the world. It's funny, but also kind of sweet. Many believe that the statue of Garen bears a strong resemblance to Lord Guan, a legendary Chinese general -- which would explain the adoration.
16 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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this made my day so hard :D

Hail Garen
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>>38094
Or League is just that good.
>>
>>38051
its a publicity stunt, dont be naive

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhbgxtL-0us

A store surveillance camera captured a Florida man throwing a small alligator into the drive-thru window at a Wendy’s restaurant, prompting a concerned employee to hoist herself outside the window to escape the reptile.

As seen in the above video, defendant Joshua James, 24 paid for a drink he had ordered and then, as the Wendy’s employee turned her back to get change, he threw the live three-and-a-half foot alligator into the eatery around 1:30 AM. Seen at right, James then drove off in his Nissan Frontier.

While...
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FLORIDA MAN
>>
>>37886
You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn’t get you anywhere.Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16…
Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!
>>
>>37895
What does this have to do with alligators?

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An 18-year-old student whose educational history includes a staggering 102 disciplinary referrals and 62 separate suspensions was arrested Wednesday for fighting with a fellow pupil in their Florida high school’s cafeteria, a brawl that prompted the “evacuation of all students,” police report.

As detailed in criminal complaints, Malik Wilson and his 17-year-old foe exchanged “multiple punches” around 7 AM Wednesday in the cafeteria of Pinellas Secondary School in Pinellas Park.

Despite demands from a cop to cease fighting, Wilson (seen at right) only...
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48 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>37884
>It is the school’s desire that students eventually “return to their home school...in the pursuit of graduation.”
Dumb nigga is only going to graduate from rape to murder.
>>
>>37898

Predictable response.

>>37884

Let the retarded /pol/ level discussion begin.

An anecdotal spectacular event now becomes evidence of a preconceived bias which needs to be defended or admonished.
>>
>>37904
>What percentage of the black population is in jail or on probation at this very moment?
>What percentage of violent crimes are committed by blacks?
>What is the average African American IQ?
>What is the college acceptance rate of African Americans?

Now tell me all about how facts are actually racist, and the problems in the black community are really white peoples' fault.

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11 year old mexican warns his classmates

http://www.excelsior.com.mx/comunidad/2016/04/08/1085391
4 replies and 0 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Sounds like news about the average /b/er.
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>>37932
>Average /b/tard
>11 year old mexican
That sounds about right.
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>>37921
> I met Dylan from kindergarten. After four years my daughter threw the stairs
> my daughter threw the stairs
Thanks google translate, I needed that.

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DALLAS, TEXAS - Camden Vaughan is sick of being in the hospital room with his mom. He's ready to go home.

"He's all boy, and he's all active," Misty Vaughan said.

And if not for him, Misty Vaughan may not have been here to talk with us. She thought she had the flu. Her fever kept rising.

"It was reading 105 on my thermometer, and that's the last thing I remember," she said.

Then she passed out.

It was little Camden who found her Sunday night, and he used her cell phone to call Dr. Jeremy Vaughan — his...
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15 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>37889
EXTRA! EXTRA! CHILD USES PHONE! READ ALL ABOUT IT!
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>>37902
The child was 4 though seems a bit ahead of his age.
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>>37907
They're using iPads at that age nowadays.

“One of my criteria for filtering out folks was whether or not they support Donald Trump,” said one district GOP leader.

> http://www.politico.com/story/2016/04/donald-trump-indiana-primary-221747
23 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>37928
underrated story even if you take out the partisan crap.
>>
>>37928
How do delegates work?
>>
This is why Trump supporters will fall in love behind the sleazy republicans.

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