Whelp...
http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/crime/body-parts-in-seattle-recycling-bin-identified-as-those-of-missing-mother/
man this is /news/ we don't give a fuck about white dude's and their violent crime. this is a place for hating niggers, spics, and women. back to plebbit with this shit. if you can make this about how she fucked up then you might have something.
http://q13fox.com/2016/04/11/police-say-human-remains-found-in-seattle-thought-to-be-those-of-missing-renton-mom-of-3-suspect-arrested/
>>38394
Fuck off back to /pol/, dickmuncher.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/12/business/dealbook/goldman-sachs-to-pay-5-1-billion-in-mortgage-settlement.html
>State and federal officials said on Monday that Goldman Sachs would pay $5.1 billion to settle accusations of wrongdoing before the financial crisis.
>But that is just on paper. Buried in the fine print are provisions that allow Goldman to pay hundreds of millions of dollars less — perhaps as much as $1 billion less — than that headline figure. And that is before the tax benefits of the deal are included.
>The bank will be able to reduce its bill substantially through a combination of government incentives and tax credits. For example, the settlement calls for Goldman to spend $240 million on affordable housing. But a chart attached to the settlement explains that the bank will have to pay at most only 30 percent of that money to fulfill the deal. That is because it will receive a particularly large credit for each dollar it spends on affordable housing.
>Goldman is the last of the major American banks to settle with the government. Past deals with other banks also contained some of these concessions, but Goldman appears to have negotiated an even sweeter deal on certain points. For all the banks, the credits suggest that the amounts that the banks will have to actually spend on consumer relief will be much lower than the numbers announced in the news releases.
>“They appear to have grossly inflated the settlement amount for P.R. purposes to mislead the public, while in the fine print, enabling Goldman Sachs to pay 50 to 75 percent less,” said Dennis Kelleher, the founder of the advocacy organization Better Markets, referring to the government announcement. “The problem all along, with all of these settlements — and this one highlights it even more — is that they are carefully crafted more to conceal than reveal to the American public what really happened here — and what the so-called penalty is.”
...
>>38217
other coverage:
>Goldman Sachs pays $5 billion to settle allegations it sold shoddy mortgages
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/business/wp/2016/04/11/goldman-sachs-pays-5-billion-to-settle-allegations-it-sold-shoddy-mortgages-prior-to-financial-crisis/
>Goldman Sachs to pay $5 billion in U.S. Justice Dept mortgage bond pact
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-goldman-sachs-mbs-settlement-idUSKCN0X81TI
>Goldman Sachs Resolves U.S. Mortgage Probe for $5.1 Billion
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-04-11/goldman-to-pay-5-1-billion-to-settle-u-s-mortgage-bond-probe
>Goldman Sachs Will Pay $5 Billion For Misleading Investors On Mortgage Assets
http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/04/11/473817622/goldman-sachs-will-pay-5-billion-for-misleading-investors-on-mortgage-assets
The only thing "punishing" corporations accomplishes is filling the state's coffers anyway. People are the ones who do crimes, and there's no incentive for them to stop if they don't get punished.
>>38217
hmmm
So this is bugging the hell out of me, who is the celebrity that UK news sources are barred from naming?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/10/celebrity-threesome-injunction-scottish-newspaper-names-stars-be/
>>38134
It might be Elton John's husband, according to
http://www.2oceansvibe.com/2016/04/08/apparently-this-is-the-celebrity-in-that-threesome-scandal/
Fuck Britain though
>>38134
I don't know
>>Same here, Gotta be a Scottish pal or American who take a picture of the paper or something!
![screen-shot-2016-04-11-at-1-21-22-pm-e1460352188736[1].png_w=1056.png](https://i.imgur.com/Mwpj5Ej.jpg "screen-shot-2016-04-11-at-1-21-22-pm-e1460352188736[1] w=1056")
http://qz.com/658807/a-yahoo-daily-mail-merger-could-turn-the-internet-into-the-worst-kind-of-tabloid/
>The company that owns the British tabloid the Daily Mail—and its highly trafficked website—is exploring a potential bid for Yahoo with the help of a private equity backer, the Wall Street Journal reports (paywall). While the Daily Mail & General Trust is just one of dozens of players that may bid for Yahoo, if the company succeeds, news on the internet may never be the same.
>Any combination is likely to push the Daily Mail’s trademark brand of incendiary, lightly sourced, heavily borrowed tabloid journalism to Yahoo’s one billion worldwide monthly users. Yahoo’s over 50 local websites, many of them in local languages, help the company draw more total users than any other online company in the world after Google, YouTube, Facebook, and the Chinese search engine Baidu.
>The Daily Mail’s high volume of articles, attention-grabbing headlines, and photo-heavy articles have helped it become one of the world’s most-viewed English-language news sites, with more traffic than the New York Times, the Guardian, Huffington Post, and Buzzfeed, according to some measures.
>But the company’s numerous critics call it “shameless” and say its model relies heavily on taking other media outlets’ work, printing anonymously sourced gossip, trotting out sexist tropes, and often fanning the flames of religious, racial, and other divides. The company has been the subject of numerous lawsuits in recent years.
...
related:
http://www.wsj.com/articles/u-k-s-daily-mail-explores-bid-for-yahoo-backed-by-private-equity-1460324999
>The U.K.’s Daily Mail has emerged as a suitor for Yahoo Inc. ’s assets, joining a wide group of interested companies that includes telecom giant Verizon Communications Inc. as an April 18 deadline for preliminary offers nears, according to people familiar with the matter.
>The parent company of the Daily Mail, the British newspaper and global tabloid website, is in talks with several private-equity firms to launch a bid for Yahoo, the people said. Daily Mail & General Trust PLC, whose main interest is Yahoo’s news and media properties, is just one of some 40 players that have expressed interest in the Web portal.
>Yahoo has held meetings with Verizon, InterActiveCorp and CBS Corp. , one of the people said. The Mail hasn’t yet met with Yahoo executives. Verizon, which owns AOL and is looking to beef up its digital media and advertising businesses further, is considered a front-runner for Yahoo, according to many executives and analysts following the sale process.
>A possible bid by Daily Mail could take one of two forms, the people familiar with the matter said. In one scenario, a private-equity partner would aim to acquire the entirety of Yahoo’s U.S. operation, with the Mail taking over the news and media properties.
>Those assets include verticals such as Yahoo Finance and Yahoo Sports plus Yahoo News and a video operation whose big star is Katie Couric. Yahoo has been retrenching in those businesses. In February the company closed seven digital magazines including sites dedicated to food, parenting and health.
>In the other scenario, the private-equity firm would acquire Yahoo and merge its media and news properties into a new company that would include the Mail’s Web properties, DailyMail.com and Elite Daily, the people said. The Mail would run that business and would get a larger equity stake than under the first scenario.
...
>>38083
>you live to see Yahoo! get sold for peanuts to a fucking gossip mag
Did Yahoo get here because of its feminist workforce?
>>38110
probably
now that Yahoo owns tumblr i wonder what would happen if the dailymail purchased them
>Facebook Wants You To Friend Its Upcoming Business Bots
http://www.forbes.com/sites/parmyolson/2016/04/11/facebook-wants-you-to-friend-its-new-business-bots/#1280300d7380
>Facebook's F8 Has The Digerati Chatting About Bots
http://www.mediapost.com/publications/article/273165/facebooks-f8-has-the-digerati-chatting-about-bots.html
>F8 Speculation: Facebook Messenger Chat Bots, Web Plugins for Businesses
http://www.adweek.com/socialtimes/f8-messenger-chat-bots-web-plugins/637568
>Bots, Live and A.I.: What to expect at Facebook's F8 conference
http://mashable.com/2016/04/11/facebook-f8-preview/#OXIRCJ6vjZqV
>Facebook's quest for world domination to be on display at F8
http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/columnist/2016/04/10/facebooks-unending-quest-world-domination/82469236/
>Why You Might Soon Text Robots as Often as Your Friends
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2016/04/11/technology/ap-us-tec-chatbot-explosion.html
>Bots are the next frontier in social media
http://www.afr.com/technology/social-media/bots-are-the-next-frontier-in-social-media-20160408-go1htz
>The market for apps is maturing. Now one for text-based services, or chatbots, looks poised to take off
http://www.economist.com/news/business-and-finance/21696477-market-apps-maturing-now-one-text-based-services-or-chatbots-looks-poised
>>38137
> Cost is $2.01
> Pays $2.00
> Still works
>>38141
Its in Canada, pennies were phased out so all purchases round to the nearest nickel.
>>38166
Well that must drive CPA's cray cray bananas
http://edition.cnn.com/2016/04/11/americas/ontario-attawapiskat-suicide-attempts-state-of-emergency/index.html
https://twitter.com/JustinTrudeau/status/719308218803965952
>The 2,000-strong indigenous community in the far north of the Canadian province has seen a spate of suicide attempts over the past eight months -- over 100 members, young and old, have tried to take their own lives.
>The situation came to a heartbreaking head this weekend, as community leaders in the tiny James Bay town were forced to declare a formal state of emergency after 11 people attempted to kill themselves Saturday.
>>38120
>Saturday's shocking revelations follow another tragic month -- 28 Attawapiskat residents attempted suicide in March, more than 100 since September of last year.
>One person has successfully taken their life since September.
Why do these snowniggers suck so badly at killing themselves?
They don't really sound that suicidal, t.b.h.
>>38129
Especially considering most attempts are at around 10% (https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/means-matter/means-matter/case-fatality/)
although a different source claims it's much lower than that: http://lostallhope.com/suicide-statistics
>>38120
Natives kill themslves all the fucking time. I had plenty of contact with Davis Inlet people when I was in Labrador. They all just drink and sniff gas to the point where they are brain damaged retards and then cant cope and kill themeslves when the goverment tries to help by getting them off that shit thats killing them.
I had this one retarded native kid when I was in school. He loved sniffing gas so much he started rubbing it on his gums like fucking cocaine, and ended up losing all his teeth. Ended up with the cheapest shittiest looking metal teeth you ever saw costing the government over 40k. He ended up going to college where he overdosed on pills.
Don't let him get away with it.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/11/us/politics/paul-ryan-a-mirage-candidate-wages-a-parallel-campaign.html
>>38070
I like Paul Ryan better than everyone else in the race, but he's not running. His speaking tours are aimed at holding the party's majorities in Congress.
It's a prudent move considering the damage Trump is threatening. For the sake of the parties and the country the executive branch needs to be nerfed.
>>38070
>And his office continued to beat back the not-exactly-library-voice whisper campaign favoring a coup at the Republican convention in July that would elevate Mr. Ryan to the top of the ticket.
He ain't gunning for the 2016 election, but he is setting the groundwork for his later career and possibly revitalizing the GOP.
Ryan isn't stupid, he's already repeatedly declined to run for the 2016 election because he doesn't want to get caught in that train-wreck. But you better believe he'll make sure to be standing in stark contrast of this circus by 2020.
>>38070
Ryan won't run. He isn't stupid, and know it's not his time. He can't unite the party as it is and has very few brag-worthy accomplishments to his name. He will probably run later in his life though.
Make no mistake, there is no white knight establishment candidate coming to the rescue for 2016. Kasich won't get shit, and if he does the party will revolt. It's Ted v Trump this July.
http://nypost.com/2016/04/11/islamist-who-killed-five-somali-journalists-executed-by-firing-squad/
Ahh the NYpost, Rupert Murdoch's #2 best paper after TheSun for highlighting the most outrageous things going on in the world. I'm not whining, I just haven't seen them on /news/ in a while.
>somali journalists
They have those in Somalia now?
>>38210
techincally he was working al-Shabab
>>38209
I glad they covered the execution and brought out the mardi gras ropes for the occasion. The though of this inbred buffoon, chewing khat, wagging his fat finger in the air, and telling you how to do your job alone is utterly repulsive.
Boko Haram actually kills more people than ISIS
https://acrossthelinesnews.com/2016/04/10/while-isis-claims-all-the-headlines-boko-haram-kills-more-people/
>>38148
Assad kills more people than ISIS.
ISIS kills more ISIS fighters than anyone else.
Terrorism is less threatening to western civilization than any number of things people don't talk or care about (including rust).
>>38151
Rust is a good game
>>38158
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/03/rust-never-sleeps/384972/
http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2016/4/9/11397248/woman-prays-to-league-of-legends-statue-garen
An elderly woman in China is quickly becoming a meme for League of Legends fans after someone in an Internet cafe posted photos of her praying to a statue of Garen on the sidewalk.
The photo, which was posted to the Chinese social network Weibo, has attracted attention from fans around the world. It's funny, but also kind of sweet. Many believe that the statue of Garen bears a strong resemblance to Lord Guan, a legendary Chinese general -- which would explain the adoration.
this made my day so hard :D
Hail Garen
>>38094
Or League is just that good.
>>38051
its a publicity stunt, dont be naive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhbgxtL-0us
A store surveillance camera captured a Florida man throwing a small alligator into the drive-thru window at a Wendy’s restaurant, prompting a concerned employee to hoist herself outside the window to escape the reptile.
As seen in the above video, defendant Joshua James, 24 paid for a drink he had ordered and then, as the Wendy’s employee turned her back to get change, he threw the live three-and-a-half foot alligator into the eatery around 1:30 AM. Seen at right, James then drove off in his Nissan Frontier.
While the airborne alligator is a blur in the footage, the Wendy’s employee’s concern is clear. While she seems to smile at the sight of the alligator inside the restaurant, the woman eventually sits up on the ledge of the drive-thru window and then jumps out the opening.
James, a Jupiter resident, is facing a felony aggravated assault charge in connection with the October 2015 alligator tossing at the Palm Beach County restaurant. Free on $3000 bond, James has been ordered by a judge to stay away from Wendy’s restaurants and is barred from contact with “any animals except current family dog.”
According to a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission report, James told investigators that he found the alligator on a roadway (the below photo shows the reptile on the floor inside Wendy’s). The alligator was subsequently released into a nearby canal.
The surveillance video was provided to TSG in response to a Freedom of Information Act request filed with Florida prosecutors.
http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/animals/video-shows-wendys-alligator-toss-463791
FLORIDA MAN
>>37886
You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn’t get you anywhere.Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16…
Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!
>>37895
What does this have to do with alligators?
An 18-year-old student whose educational history includes a staggering 102 disciplinary referrals and 62 separate suspensions was arrested Wednesday for fighting with a fellow pupil in their Florida high school’s cafeteria, a brawl that prompted the “evacuation of all students,” police report.
As detailed in criminal complaints, Malik Wilson and his 17-year-old foe exchanged “multiple punches” around 7 AM Wednesday in the cafeteria of Pinellas Secondary School in Pinellas Park.
Despite demands from a cop to cease fighting, Wilson (seen at right) only stopped throwing punches after being doused with pepper spray.
In addition to the evacuation of other students, the melee “required the crisis team to respond and disrupted not only food preparation and service, but testing of both high school and middle school students as well as transportation by buses,” a complaint notes.
According to the Pinellas Secondary School web site, students are sent to the alternative school due to “zero tolerance infractions” at their home schools. It is the school’s desire that students eventually “return to their home school...in the pursuit of graduation.” The principal adds that, “Our hope is that their time spent at Pinellas Secondary will help prepare them for their future endeavors such as college, an industry career, or any other career of their choosing.”
Citing school records, an investigator reported that Wilson has been the subject of “102 disciplinary referrals, including striking another student, numerous disruptions, and possession of a dangerous implement.” As a result of that record, the teen has “served 31 in-school and 31 out-of-school suspensions.”
It appears likely that the young scholar is now in the midst of his 63rd school suspension.
http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/k-12/high-school-disciplinary-problem-arrested-327958
>>37884
>It is the school’s desire that students eventually “return to their home school...in the pursuit of graduation.”
Dumb nigga is only going to graduate from rape to murder.
>>37898
Predictable response.
>>37884
Let the retarded /pol/ level discussion begin.
An anecdotal spectacular event now becomes evidence of a preconceived bias which needs to be defended or admonished.
>>37904
>What percentage of the black population is in jail or on probation at this very moment?
>What percentage of violent crimes are committed by blacks?
>What is the average African American IQ?
>What is the college acceptance rate of African Americans?
Now tell me all about how facts are actually racist, and the problems in the black community are really white peoples' fault.
11 year old mexican warns his classmates
http://www.excelsior.com.mx/comunidad/2016/04/08/1085391
Sounds like news about the average /b/er.
>>37932
>Average /b/tard
>11 year old mexican
That sounds about right.
>>37921
> I met Dylan from kindergarten. After four years my daughter threw the stairs
> my daughter threw the stairs
Thanks google translate, I needed that.
DALLAS, TEXAS - Camden Vaughan is sick of being in the hospital room with his mom. He's ready to go home.
"He's all boy, and he's all active," Misty Vaughan said.
And if not for him, Misty Vaughan may not have been here to talk with us. She thought she had the flu. Her fever kept rising.
"It was reading 105 on my thermometer, and that's the last thing I remember," she said.
Then she passed out.
It was little Camden who found her Sunday night, and he used her cell phone to call Dr. Jeremy Vaughan — his own father.
"He said, 'Daddy I need you to come home! Mommy can't get in the bath because she can't wake up!' And I said: 'I'm on my way!'"
Remember, Camden is just four years old. But he unlocked his mom's iPhone and found his dad's photo at the the top of the favorites list.
"And tap the phone button, and the star, and hit the pictures," the youngster explained.
Misty Vaughan's physician at Methodist Charlton Medical Center, Dr. Ousama Moammar, believes she had a seizure. He also believes that Camden's phone call was crucial.
"It saved her life... as simple as that," he said. "Acting early and fast is really of the essence."
That's something that this mother of two is still trying to process.
"If my brain had continued at that temperature, I could not be the same here... the same or not be here at all for them," Misty Vaughan said.
But she is is still here, she's feeling better, and should be back at home soon with Camden.
"I feel like my trust in his responsibility has definitely increased," she said.
http://www.kvue.com/news/local/mom-saved-by-4-year-olds-phone-call/124208492
>>37889
EXTRA! EXTRA! CHILD USES PHONE! READ ALL ABOUT IT!
>>37902
The child was 4 though seems a bit ahead of his age.
>>37907
They're using iPads at that age nowadays.
“One of my criteria for filtering out folks was whether or not they support Donald Trump,” said one district GOP leader.
> http://www.politico.com/story/2016/04/donald-trump-indiana-primary-221747
>>37928
underrated story even if you take out the partisan crap.
>>37928
How do delegates work?
This is why Trump supporters will fall in love behind the sleazy republicans.
![r[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/GHc7R7r.jpg "r[1]")
![Bauer-Cafe-bot[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/RxZld0X.jpg "Bauer-Cafe-bot[1]")
