WASHINGTON — After backlash at Veterans Affairs Secretary Robert McDonald’s comments that the VA should not judge success by wait times because Disney does not, McDonald clarified that the VA will actually attempt to provide the same amount of youthful wonderment as major theme parks.
“The VA has always been about putting on a spectacle,” said McDonald while donning a Mickey Mouse costume. “Like Disneyland, our employees are fully prepared to keep the magic of pretending to care alive.”
Officials say veterans will get more than the much discussed waiting times.
“They will now get the added joy of riding MRI Mountain, the Haunted Hearing Booth, and the PTSD Adventure,” says a spokesman. “Veterans calling to schedule appointments will also be treated to the Telephone Merry-Go-Round.”
Veterans like Orlando resident Steve Hill agree that the VA being more like an amusement park would be an improvement.
“I almost died waiting for treatment at the Orlando VA Medical Center,” said Hill, “but thankfully someone called the local Disneyland first responders. They saved my life and had me back in the VA waiting room before my name was even called. Theme parks know how it’s done.”
“We actually do consider wait times to be a measure of success,” Iger said. “Along with customer satisfaction, return on investment, and social value. Please, Mr. McDonald, don’t sully the Disney brand by putting us in the same category as one of the worst government agencies ever.”
McDonald remains undeterred.
“Like you’ve all been saying, almost anything the VA does would be an improvement,” said McDonald. “And just like Disneyland visits, we plan to foster the same sense of hopefulness, disillusionment, and eventual loathing that all people come to feel towards Disneyland.”
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2016/05/23/va-secretary-disney-doesnt-measure-wait-times-so-why-should-va.html
http://www.duffelblog.com/2016/05/va-start-providing-joy-disneyland/
>I'm outraged!
>He ought to apologize!
yawn
>>46115
I was going to respond and then I saw the link to duffelblog.dipshit.org
Aside, from OPs shitty sources... Robert McDonald was the former CEO of Proctor and Gamble. Is he just a random CEO who happens to be completely retarded or is the belief that businessmen make good government leaders a bit off? Maybe he was trying to Vet Affairs even worse in an attempt to privatize it?
>>46115
You know this is a satire site, right? This is off-topic
Goodyear Police arrested CBS 5 journo Jonathan Lowe Monday afternoon while he was on assignment, reporting on a former Arizona State University football player who allegedly sacrificed the family dog by putting him in a smoker in order to appease an angry God.
That doesn't begin to explain the kind of day Lowe was having, however.
"Lowe chose to use the front yard of a residence to relieve himself," Goodyear Police Department spokeswoman Lisa Kutis tells New Times. "An onlooker from across the street called it in to officers. They approached him, he said he'd had to relieve himself, and they arrested him."
Lowe was handcuffed and taken to the Goodyear Police station, where he was booked, cited, and released. Kutis says Lowe was cited under Goodyear code violation 11-1-30, "public urination or defecation," a Class 1 misdemeanor punishable by a fine of up to $2,500 or six months in jail.
Yes, we know what you're thinking.
Goodyear police haven't released the arrest report, but the department confirms that the citation was for defecation. Kutis says the arrest took place at about 3:10 p.m., and that at the time various media outlets had been "in the neighborhood of the home where the dog incident took place."
News of Lowe's arrest was reported by TV news industry gossip site FTVLive.com, which published a photo of the reporter being taken away in handcuffs beneath the headline "Cops Bust the Potty Reporter." A subsequent article on the site claimed Lowe's arrest "was the talk inside the Phoenix newsrooms" and that "two competing stations had video of Lowe being lead [sic] away."
FTVLive.com writer Scott Jones asked, "If the Mayor of Goodyear or Phoenix was arrested for pooping in public, would those stations have covered the story? So, why when a public figure like Lowe is arrested, did stations sit on the news?"
http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/cbs-5-reporter-had-a-really-crappy-monday-8306221
When New Times tried to reach Lowe by phone at the newsroom, we were told he wasn't in. CBS 5 news director Dan Wilson declined to comment directly about Lowe's arrest, describing it as a "personnel issue." Wilson did say that Lowe is still employed by the station "as of right now."
Asked why the station didn't report on the arrest, Wilson said it was because the police report had yet to be released and CBS 5 was still assessing the situation.
"Without a police report, we are waiting to make editorial decisions based on more information, and so we're looking for that information," Wilson explains.
A CBS 5 employee, who asked not to be named, tells New Times the incident was discussed in an editorial meeting informing staffers of what happened. The employee says Lowe has the reputation of being "a good reporter," and that it was "sad" that the work he has done would be marred by what happened Monday.
Lowe's bio on CBS 5's website states that he was born and raised in Charlotte, North Carolina, and has worked as an assignment editor, anchor, and reporter for TV stations in Greensboro, North Carolina, and Saginaw, Michigan. "[H]e brings a bit of southern hospitality and charm to the desert southwest," the bio reads.
It remains to be seen whether he left something other than hospitality and charm in a yard in Goodyear.
>>45502
>It remains to be seen whether he left something other than hospitality and charm in a yard in Goodyear.
Why don't they just go and look at the poop he left in the yard?
>>45501
>A former Arizona State University football player who allegedly sacrificed the family dog by putting him in a smoker in order to appease an angry God.
What the fuck!
Around half of all people, including straight men and women, could carry “gay genes”, meaning that they continue to be passed down the generations despite the tendency of homosexuals not to have children, new research suggests.
The sisters of gay men tend to have more children, helping explain the persistence of homosexuality in larger populations, while straight men may also carry genes predisposing them to being gay, the study found.
Research by Giorgi Chaladze, of Ilia State University in Tbilisi, Georgia, used a computational model to look at the influence of genes and heredity on homosexuality, and its presence throughout human history and in all cultures.
Dr Chaladze sought to find out why genes associated with homosexuality don’t die out, even when – unsurprisingly – straight men have five times more children than gay men. He took into account previous research that gay men are more likely to come from larger families.
Based on Chaladze's calculations, published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, male homosexuality is maintained in a population at “low and stable frequencies” if half of the men and roughly more than half of the women carry genes that predispose men to homosexuality.
Dr Chaladze said: "The trend of female family members of homosexual men to have more offspring can help explain the persistence of homosexuality, if we also consider that those males who have such genes are not always homosexuals.”
The number of men who engage in same-sex sexual behaviour or report same-sex sexual attraction consistently outstrip estimates of those who self-identify as homosexual or bisexual – suggesting that many straight men carry the “gay genes” too.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/half-of-all-people-could-be-carrying-gay-genes-a6982381.html
>>38543
Looks like the gay bomb was a success
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2007/jun/13/usa.danglaister
I didn't know the gay got their own type of pants
>>38543
There you go. I knew it. You're all totally gay.
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/05/21/us/university-of-miami-establishes-chair-for-study-of-atheism.html?smid=tw-nytnational&smtyp=cur&referer=
only in america
>>45998
Other than a private individual promoting the program, I don't have an issue with individuals studying atheism.
If public universities study religion why not study atheism as well? It seems better suited to be part of the religion department rather than its own department, but whatever.
>>45530
i assume its a type of rabid study of christianity but in reverse? i also assume they'll be ignoring islam….:^)
>Buzzfeed makes video on Microchip being implanted underneath the skin, at the left hand.
>Can easily buy goods
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTBJ6OIGkzc
OoOoOooooOoo scaaarryyyy
>>45678
It will follow the same adoption as social media in that you are a social outcast and weirdo if you don't display all of your personal information for the world to see and be excluded from job applications because you lack one.
>What, you don't have your implant? Get out of here granddad
inb4 /x/-tier mark of the beast conspiracies
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3590156/The-whites-East-End-BBC-documentary-reveals-cockneys-endangered-species-London-borough-70-000-immigrants-moved-in.html#article-3590156
>>44595
>natives are weeded out in Europe by africans and asians
Who would've thought that happens when the government works to replace you
#Kalergi Plan is unstoppable.
It's simply too late.
Thats one of the problems with mass imigration and accepting so many refugees its cultural suicide, ita an invasion, people are blind, but hey want do i know im just a cis white male
![comcast_nbc_universal_monopoly[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/pRhSoNY.jpg "comcast nbc universal monopoly[1]")
http://money.cnn.com/2016/04/28/technology/comcast-data-cap/
>Good news video streaming fans! Comcast has decided to increase its data cap more than three-fold.
>Comcast had been testing a 300 gigabyte monthly data cap. That's equivalent to about 100 hours of HD movies on Netflix.
>But the company found some extra capacity in its couch cushions. It's now opting to give its customers 1 terabyte (1,000 gigabytes) instead.
>According to Comcast, that 1 terabyte would let customers stream about 700 hours of video and download 60,000 high-resolution photos each month. Meanwhile, 16 people could simultaneously play online video games every hour the entire month long.
>Customers who still need more data will have to pay through the nose to get it, though. Comcast increased the price of its unlimited data plan. Customers paying an extra $30 or $35 for unlimited data will now have to pay $50 on top of their regular bill.
>The new data cap and unlimited data price will take effect on June 1.
>More than 99% of Comcast's customers "do not come close" to using a terabyte of data, according to Marcien Jenckes, head of Comcast's consumer cable services. About 8% of Comcast customers used more than the old 300 GB data cap each month.
>Comcast (CMCSA) says a typical customer uses only about 60 gigabytes of data in a month -- just 6% of the new cap.
>The change was a result of listening to customer feedback, Comcast said.
>"We have learned that our customers want the peace of mind to stream, surf, game, download, or do whatever they want online," Jenckes said. "So, we have created a new data plan that is so high that most of our customers will never have to think about how much data they use."
>Comcast says it is still trialing its data caps, and it has not yet rolled them out across the country. Only about 12% of Comcast customers are subject to the data caps, according to Craig Moffett, an analyst at MoffettNathanson.
...
>Comcast says it has no current plans to add more cities to its data cap trials.
>Most of Comcast's largest competitors don't have caps.
>Time Warner Cable (TWC) has experimented with optional data caps, but they have not gained significant traction with customers. Charter (CHFN) said it would not impose any limits on customers' broadband usage for three years if its proposed deal for Time Warner Cable is approved by regulators.
>Cablevision (CVC), Bright House and Verizon (VZ, Tech30) FiOS also don't have data caps, and they have pledged not to impose them in the future.
>But Cox and AT&T (T, Tech30) U-Verse do have caps that are similar to Comcast. Both of those companies have caps that begin at 150 GB. Smaller providers, like MediaCom and Suddenlink, also have caps.
Oy gevalt! Comcast such generous master pls what brings you to shower us with such bountiful data oh it is so precious and finite I am but a lowly goy oy veyFUCKING JEWS
>>41356
>datacap
I'm sorry is this the past? I didn't think first world countries have data caps because most of the second and third world don't.
I thought that the free market was supposed to ensure the best of everything so why is it the king of capitalism, America, always has the shittiest infrastructure?
JOENSUU, FINLAND. 5/15/2016
Two young males aged 21 and 23 attacked a police patrol investigating disturbance in downtown Joensuu city. One of the men was carrying a 2 foot sword while the other had a knife. Each cop in Finland carries a 9mm handgun and in the patrol car there is also an MP5 but the officers chose to deploy mace instead and succeeded in disarming the thugs. The two assailants are suspected of atttempted murder, attempted assault and causing damage to property (the police car)
Source (in Finnish): http://www.hs.fi/kotimaa/a1463278564308
>>44839
>the officers chose to deploy mace instead and succeeded in disarming the thugs.
Why in the world was the offender not shot?
Pepper spray has been known to fail.
>>44875
because it didt happen on american soil
in europe its uncommon for the police to use their guns to hurt people
police will often attempt to apprehend anyone doing a serious crime then figure out what caused it and then pass the perpetrator onto an appropriate authority help resolve the matter
TLDR; police in europe not trigger-happy
>>44875
Because they are trained.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3556430/Dozens-looters-steal-bundles-free-water-left-official-watering-stations-marathon-runners.html
Notice any similarities between the thieves?
>>40471
They're all very thirsty?
Are these niggers descended from slaves like most american coons are?
>>40471
They managed to make the 26 mile trip to the water as if their ancestors had been doing it all their lives.
:^)))))))))))
http://harpers.org/blog/2016/05/weeklyreview2016-05-18/
>>45906
>Rodrigo Duterte, the mayor of Davao City, who called the pope a “son of a whore” and has been accused of running vigilante death squads that have killed 1,000 people, was elected president of the Philippines, promising to end crime in six months by “killing five criminals a week” and by restoring the “death penalty by hanging in public.” “If I fail,” he said during his campaign, “kill me.”[1][2][3] The Islamic State detonated three car bombs in Baghdad, killing at least 88 people.[4] Officials in Iraq reported that they have retaken two-thirds of the territory that had been seized by the Islamic State, and the Islamic State cut the salary of its Syrian members by half.[5][6] The Islamic State executed a seven-year-old boy in Syria for swearing while playing soccer with his friends, and a 69-year-old woman in Portugal beat to death with a walking stick an 88-year-old woman with whom she was arguing about a soccer match.[7][8] A North Korean military official who South Korea’s intelligence agency had reported was executed for corruption was discovered to be alive, and a man in Minnesota received a letter from the I.R.S. informing him that his tax returns could not be processed because he was deceased. “I did not believe it,” he said.[9][10] It was reported that the portion of organ donors in the United States who died of drug overdoses had increased by half over the past five years, and Budweiser changed the name on its beer cans to “America.”[11][12]
>>45907
>A teenager in France allegedly livestreamed a video of herself committing suicide because her former boyfriend had raped her, and doctors in the Netherlands euthanized a 20-year-old sexual-abuse victim because of “incurable” psychological damage.[13][14] A pastor in North Carolina was charged with sexual battery for groping and sticking his tongue in the ear of a woman he was counseling, and Pope Francis formed a commission to study the possibility of allowing female deacons in the Catholic Church.[15][16] Brazil’s upper house of Congress voted to bring impeachment proceedings against President Dilma Rousseff for manipulating finances in order to conceal the public deficit during her 2014 reelection campaign, Nigeria’s president did not object to a comment by British prime minister David Cameron that called Nigeria one of the most “fantastically corrupt” counties in the world, and it was reported that a Panamanian tanker flying a Nigerian flag washed ashore in Liberia without a crew.[17][18][19][20] A hacker stole the personal information of 100,000 users of an online forum for people who enjoy inserting large objects into their rectums, and a sinkhole swallowed a car in London.[21][22]
>>45908
>Australian researchers found that five of the Solomon Islands are completely underwater as a result of rising sea levels caused by climate change, and Germany paid citizens to use electricity after generating a surplus of wind and solar power.[23][24] Researchers in the United States found rat DNA in a portion of the fast-food burgers it tested, and a man in Houston found a dead rodent in a 20-ounce bottle of Dr Pepper his three-year-old son had been drinking.[25][26] Romanian scientists discovered at least 33 previously unknown species in an underground cave, and botanists in the United Kingdom found that 21 percent of the world’s plants are at risk of extinction.[27][28] A study reported that air pollution in India kills half a million people each year and costs the country hundreds of billions of dollars, and researchers found that the United States would save $63 billion in healthcare costs if 10 percent of smokers quit. [29][30] A mother in Canada left the antivaccination movement after all seven of her children developed whooping cough.[31] A teacher in Virginia allegedly forced male second graders to stick their heads in a bucket of urine, and a 67-year-old man in New York State was charged with harassment for chasing a mother and child around a dollar store wearing a clown nose and a toilet seat on his head. “Run,” said the man, who had toilet paper in his mouth.[32][33] In New York City’s Times Square, a Canadian tourist was assaulted by a 24-year-old man who was holding a sign that read “free hugs.”[34]
"Russian Politics Under Putin: The System Will Outlast the Master"
https://www.foreignaffairs.com/articles/russia-fsu/2016-04-18/russian-politics-under-putin
>So if the Russian state were nothing more than an extension of Putin, how would one explain the reckless decision to invade and annex Crimea in 2014 or the risky military intervention in Syria that Russia launched last year? If Russia were a pure autocracy, such actions would suggest a leader with a personality like Stalin’s or Mussolini’s. But there are no evil geniuses in the Kremlin today. Rather, powerful figures such as Sergei Ivanov, Putin’s chief of staff; Vladislav Surkov, Putin’s chief adviser on political strategy; and even Putin himself are more akin to experienced, competent bureaucrats, generally able to exercise administrative control, even if they act mostly in their own interest.
>The reality, as attested by the past two years of chaos, is that despite his image as an all-powerful tsar, Putin has never managed to build a bureaucratically successful authoritarian state. Instead, he has merely crafted his own version of sistema, a complex practice of decision-making and power management that has long defined Russian politics and society and that will outlast Putin himself. Putin has mastered sistema, but he has not replaced it with “Putinism” or a “Putin system.” Someday, Putin will go. But sistema will stay.
Sounds like an effective system.
>putinwink.png
>>45556
thats the reason why i will immigrate to russia in a few years.
looking at all that shit, the Muslims have caused, i cant see a reason to stay in europe.
i believe, that the migration before WW2 will repeat.
intelligent people can already "feel" that europe soon will lose the security, due to muslim overrun.
>>45556
that was a pretty interesting read
Nigel Farage triggers Lord Mandelson to death in the Mirror debate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yyc6vyP7rHM
holy shit they just keep talking over nigel.
>>45865
>holy shit they just keep talking over nigel.
Why should that surprised you? When their argument fails to stand to reason, they just try to shrill the opposition into silence. But that's starting not to work. So they turn up the s shrill. More to their undoing. Faster the better.
>>45677
Can't barrage the Farage.
A self-proclaimed fat activist, Virgie Tovar, promoted the idea that overweight people are an oppressed class at a University of Minnesota event called “Dispelling Myths: Fat, Fatphobia, and Challenging Social Stereotypes.”
The event, held on International No Diet Day (May 6), was sponsored in part by the university’s School of Public Health and its Office for Equity and Diversity.
"Weight loss is not a realistic goal for most people."
“Fat activism” puts overweight individuals into a category with other groups of people who claim to be oppressed. It puts the blame of being fat on society as a whole instead of the individual.
Tovar, who gave her talk through Skype, told the small crowd in attendance that negative body perceptions are taught through societal mechanisms, and that overweight people cannot lose the extra fat.
“Weight loss is not a realistic goal for most people,” Tovar said.
She claimed 80 to 90 percent of people will regain the weight that they lose while on a diet and that it is important for people to realize that “the body you have now is the only body you will ever have.”
Tovar said diet culture is a tool of “white heteronormative society” and declared that “exercise and diets are constructs.” Society, she said, is fat phobic and that “Fat phobia is a form of bigotry, is a form of discrimination.”
Tovar harped about discrimination regarding choices in sexual partners, how chairs are designed, and public transportation usage. In fact, Tovar claimed that fat shaming has made her avoid public transportation during peak hours.
At no point did Tovar address deaths caused by heart failure or diabetes. Tovar also failed to mention the fast food industry, instead decrying diet industries and doctors who she does not think are qualified to speak about health.
http://www.campusreform.org/?ID=7566
What a lazy cunt.
>>43574
>Tovar said diet culture is a tool of “white heteronormative society”
If this fat cunt lived outside of White Society for a minute, she'd realize that most people can't afford to be fat, lazy cunts.
Kind of hard to be a fat piece of shit when you need to harvest your own food, and it's especially hard being a fat piece of shit when you don't live in a country where, if you're a fatter piece of shit than most, they'll give you a pension for being disabled where you can spend money you didn't earn on food to be an even fatter piece of shit than before.
Only reason why fat people are beloved in poorer nations is because when people see a fat person amidst all the poverty, they can say "wow, that fat fuck must be doing something right!" God DAMN I fucking hate fat first worlders.
>>43574
I bet she did it over Skype because her crane was broken. And it is obvious this was all because of sex wIth her trying to say that you are oppressing and deserve to be jailed if you don't fuck every fat chick that asks for it.
UK Referendum VOTE IN
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/eu-referendum-vote-leave-furious-as-itv-announces-debate-between-nigel-farage-and-david-cameron-a7025226.html
>>44112
Lolno.
>>44112
>loosing
Retard.
>>44112
After this:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2016/04/12/brexit-threatens-to-cause-severe-global-damage-warns-imf/
this:
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/9f131da0-183a-11e6-b197-a4af20d5575e.html
and the fact we'd be diplomatically screwed...:
http://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-britain-eu-international-factbox-idUKKCN0XP24D
...it's a wonder there's still a fucking debate at all. Half of Brits are fanatics or morons or laughing at all the chaos they're going to sow.
https://www.rt.com/news/342552-sweden-migrant-sexual-assault/
>An Eritrean migrant, who claimed to be 15, has been sentenced in Sweden for molesting a 10-year-old girl from a family which had agreed to house him.
>The investigation cast doubt on the migrant’s age, suggesting he could be as old as 19.
>Isak Andai was accepted into a Swedish family in the southern town of Eslov together with another migrant boy as “unaccompanied refugee minors,” meaning persons below 18 years of age who had become separated from their parents, reported the Swedish Avpixlat news website.
moral outrage of the day
are you clutching your pearls?
>>44047
Goddamn migrants!
>>44047
>fined
>Not sent back to his shithole country.
Sweden yes
