Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 808. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 808. page
19 year old kissless virgin who's never been in a relationship. Any general advice on how to get and maintain a relationship would be appreciated.
>>17143522
stop thinking about relationships the way you do, cuz at the moment you treat them like a hard to find appliance. you shouldnt be aiming for a gf. you should be aiming to find someone you have a good connection with. and in this day, specifically with your context, saying 'gf' doesn't imply that anymore.
advice
>dont just hit on a woman
its no secret that women are the ones who are approached, and they make decisions on which men to keep in their lives. that being said, desperately drooling over each and every girl as if they are a potential love interest is silly.
give yourself more value by not letting a woman sway you on first impressions alone. before you ever begin to say anything remotely flirtatious, talk to the girl. see what she actually acts like when you interact with her. have a normal conversation. if there isnt anything special there beyond her looks, friendzone her. or simply stop talking to her. you do not need to hit on each and every girl that looks good enough to be your partner.
doing this gives you more value, and the psychological effects are great. in addition, women will take you more seriously. instead of being 1 of 500 men in new york who went straight for the kill, you took the time to get to know them. whether it goes anywhere or not, this approach also just gives you practice talking to girls in a casual context. its less pressure than trying to impress them.
>>17143548
>only ever use dating apps as a supplement to your real life dating.
dating apps are toxic. consider the following
>people use dating apps because they arent having much luck in real life
>they go to a dating app where they are introduced to an entire smorgasbord of men who want nothing more than to bang and/or date them
>after just one day they will have seen everyone in their area
>within one week they would have talked to everyone they are interested in
so anyone who has been using the app for more than a few weeks clearly has some sort of issue. likely, they are the female equivelent of what i discussed in my first post.
they want a 'bf' but because they have a very specific idea of what a bf is, they arent finding it anywhere. instead of seeing if they have real chemistry, they are simply walking down the aisle, trying to figure out what is the ONE thing at the groccery store they can buy, based solely on pictures and labels.
if a woman is on tinder for too long, they are losing their ability to feel chemistry.
you as a man can fall into a very similar pattern here, but with the added harshness of constant rejection.
it is an app made for people who want to date, yet no one seems to have success there for very long. that should tell you something.
>>17143552
>but anon, how do i use it as a supplement to an existing dating life if i dont have a dating life.
effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.
the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.
so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.
go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.
you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.
its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.
Gf was diagnosed with ptsd by her therapist the other day, but she's had it for the past two years, she's not a combat vet but I can believe it.
Not sure how I can help her out though, any /adv/ice?
>pic not related
GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN
DONT STICK IT IN CRAZY, LAD
>>17143527
Been with her for 3 years, that's not really an easy option
>>17143532
>ive been with her for 3 years so even if i wanted to break up wtih her its nearly impossible
except no its not. its so fucking dumb when people say this shit. unless you are married or have a kid its not 'not really an easy option'
How would you react if you found out your s/o slept with a married person when they were single?
>>17143489
I would never trust that person as other men or other women are complete users who are selfish narcasists who believe they are so different that it won't happen to them. They will not be a faithful partner, I know they will show you their best behavior but these are the types that believe when times are tough, it's time to seek outside the relationship.
I almost fucked a married women before. They have an open marriage (which doesn't make it okay either) and I still felt like I would be ruining the idea of what a marriage was suppose to be. Plus the whole karma thing, if I did it it would seem like something that would bite me in the ass later in life; ie if I got married it could happen to me.
So I think for a person to willingly sleep with a married person shows they have no morals or standards. Which speaks a lot about the kind of person they are. There could be an exception like if they had absolutely no idea the person was married or something, but if they knew I don't think I'd trust that person. So I'd seriously consider breaking it off... most likely would....yeah I would break it off. Call me dumb but I think marriage is a big deal.
>>17143489
it depends on the circumstances i think. ive fucked married men before (faggot here). its not my job to fix their relationsihp or anything, if hes going to get sex and i find him hot it might as well be with me, yeh?
in termso f me getting married, im very open relationship oriented so its inconsequential.
I just want him to stop playing video games and notice me a little more.
>>17143486
Tell him you retard.
>>17143492
This
>>17143492
but then i might seem clingy and i know he doesn't like clingy people
The feeling doesn't go away.
But overtime with meeting more people and distracting yourself you will miss her less.
Probably.
Hang in there, bud.
Oh man, you'll miss her. You'll miss the shit out of her whenever you'll go. It'll hurt, and it'll take some time. But it will all be fine in time.
Trust me, the sooner you stop thinking about her the better. Embrace the fact that she's not coming back. Detach yourself from whatever physical links you have to her, pictures, gifts...it will all just make the process longer and more painful, trust me. I know it's hard to do, but you should do it.
I was there. I thought it would never be ok again. Here I am now, better than before. Sure I still miss her sometimes, but it's nothing but memory now.
It's been three months for me, some days I wake up with a horrible, heavy feeling in my chest and I just can't make it out of bed.
Some days I feel alright but she's always on my mind, like every third thought that crosses my mind is about her. I can't help it.
She's driving me crazy. A part of me wish that I had never met her, another part is beyond grateful.
I know there's plenty of fish in the sea, I know that she wasn't perfect. I've tried to be reasonable, I've tried to look at all her flaws, but it just doesn't help.
I try focusing on creative and productive things, it's the only thing that gets my mind off her, my hobbies are no longer hobbies, they're means of escapism. I've never been so productive in my entire life and that's the only good thing about the awful way I feel.
I'm sorry for you friend, do what you love and keep yourself occupied. Something will happen some day and things will be alright.
What do you consider to be "feminine"?
My boyfriend is complaining that I'm not feminine enough. I have long hair and wear soft makeup, I don't belch or swear and I'm not sports obsessed or muscular (sorry I know these are cliches). I don't wear dresses if it's not a special occasion but it's not all jeans and t-shirts either. Help a girl out?
why the fuck are you asking me, am I your boyfriend?
I'm not a fucking mind reader, so I can't know what he considers to be feminine. So get the fuck off my board and ask HIM.
>>17143333
Your boyfriend is complaining to you that you're not feminine enough?
sounds like a control freak.
Suggest he find a MtF to fuck? those are usually more feminine.
>>17143333
He probably wishes you had a nice feminine cock like all the traps on /b/.
what say to this? I wanna fuck her
>>17143332
Good night that conversation looks like boring and dull collided.
>How would you like to watch some Netflix with me inside you?
>>17143332
Ask her what show she watches. Lie to her and tell her you watch the same show. Tell her you both should meet at your place and watch the show together.
>>17143332
>Have you watched -insert movie she probably hasn't watched, something like Tremors, Akira, etc.-
If she replies she hasn't, say
>wanna watch it with me, then?
I need some advice, I broke up with my girlfriend today and immediately regretted it. The reason I gave her was that I just wasn't in love with her anymore, but that was bullshit. I am still in love with her, the reason I broke up with her is because I got really drug fucked a couple of nights ago and ended up cheating on her. I let the guilt fuck me up and rather than being honest I took the cowards way out.
What should I do? Should I tell her the real reason and hope that maybe she'll forgive me? Or should I just not risk hurting her any more than I already have?
wait, why did you feel the need to break up with her?
why couldn't you just keep it a secret like the rest of us
>>17143328
I feel like a fucking scumbag for cheating on her and I just couldn't be around her without feeling like a complete cunt.
She's a fucking great girl and I just couldn't believe that I'd do that to her.
>>17143336
obviously she's not that great if you felt the need to fuck someone else. Maybe if she actually fulfilled your sexual needs you wouldn't have been compelled to use mind altering drugs to get yourself in a position where you could get them met.
You're better off without her honestly, she was just weighing you down.
![stages-of-pregnancy-week-by-week-884x301[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/rExuOC4.jpg "stages-of-pregnancy-week-by-week-884x301[1]")
My wife is 32 and has had 4 kids.
She still looks like she's 18, especially when dressed. Her belly's a little stretched, but you'd never notice with her shirt on, and she's short, slim in her chest, legs and midsection and a PAWG with a fucking incredible round, cushy ass that she lets me ride at least once a day. When she's in yoga pants I hnnggg.
She goes jogging several times a week, and she tells me that she's occasionally harassed. We live in a pretty decent neighborhood, white, crime not a problem, so it's nothing dangerous, usually horns honking, guys yelling from cars, but occasionally they make her feel nervous by yelling at her from porches or across the street. She only tells me if it bothers her, but she says there's usually something or other at least once on every run.
I try to sympathize with her but I kind of like hearing her tell me how dumb 16 year old boys call her "baby" and try to hit on her while she's running.
Feel free to tell me your opinion about me but there's a possibility that I'm more horny than asking for advice.
my opinion is that this didn't deserve a thread
merica?
gun
yuro?
krav maga
>>17143271
Bragpost. Still I have a question. Your wife's kids or your kids.
Yesterday I was in a car accident that was completely my fault. I had 2 siblings in the car and 3 cars total were involved in the crash. Does anyone have any advice that will help me stop feeling so guilty? I knew the crash could have been avoided and I feel like utter shit. I can't sleep. Any kind words would be appreciated.
>>17143267
unless you did it purposely i guess you should stop worrying about it
it can happen man
>>17143267
People do dumb things constantly. Once in awhile it leads to a preventable accident and youre a piece of shit for doing something so dumb.
Because everyone does dumb shit so frequently, really, you're just the victim of a bad cosmic dice roll. Sorry pal.
Anyways, guilt is natural, it'll go away, don't get PTSD over this.
>>17143290
It wasn't on purpose. I just wasn't paying attention when I should have been. I feel awful.
Is there anyone here who struggled with mild alcoholism and overcame their addiction on their own?
I think I'm sort of an alcoholic, but really don't want to involve my friends and family. Nor do I want to go to AA, or anything similar.
Thanks in advance.
Pic unrelated
Bumpybump
>>17143195
Plenty of people do. If you're not a 'real alcoholic' of the type AA describes, some basic effort should be enough. If you're a social drinker, I'd suggest spending less time doing things where you drink, maybe pick up a new hobby or separate set of friends. If you tend to drink and isolate, make an effort to spend more time with friends. Better diet and more exercise and time with driends always helps improve mood if you drink when depressed, and a regular mediation practice will help keep you balanced if you like to drink when agitated.
Just so you know, AA defines its terms very clearly-- to them an alcoholic is more than just a person with a bit of an alcohol problem, who could probably stand to drink less. An alcoholic to them is someone who drinks ruinously, endangering and often totally losing position, family, health, home, and relationships to booze, or who recognizes they are fast on the path to doing so. Everything in their program is directed to people who accept that's how bad their drinking is, and that an early death is sure to come if they hit the bottle again. Consequently, a lot of people who say they're 'alcoholics' with a milder definition of the term get turned off the program when they hear AAs talk about how youre diseased and you're gonna fucking die if you drink. And they preach total abstinence.
AA may not be the place for you, but if shit ever starts getting REALLY bad with your drinking, don't forget they're there.
>>17143226
Well the ironic part is that I have plenty of hobbies and friends. I just systematically destroy my liver and job opportunities. I mean I personally get creeped out by straight edge folk, and my biggest fear is having to live straight edge. I just seem to be a cunt with no discipline for substance abuse.
Do you think it's unethical to visit an escort providing she is:
1. From your country (i.e. not a victim of sex trafficking or coercion)
2. Does not appear to be doing it involuntarily or due to financial destitution
I'm reading some profiles of girls who are in their early twenties and who claim to enjoy sex and their job.
Is it wrong to lose my v-card with one of these girls?
Also what's the best way to avoid being infected with an STD?
I don't think it's unethical but I think if losing your virginity is that important you can do it for free at a bar.
no lol
no but its the easy way
condom
>>17143131
>V card
Don't go out like that. My friend did that. It's so unsatisfying. He couldnt even nut. Find someone to love OP. Find someone to actually enjoy your first time with. If all Youre looking for from sex is the physical pleasure, then I can tell you an escort will not give you that. You'll be too nervous, anxious and feel out of place to be able to enjoy it. Again, my friend couldn't even climax. He is a confident person too, his escort was hot and they did it for a long time. The first time isn't something you should do like that. I promise if you fucked someone you had feelings for first, even if it was once, then fucked an escort, it would be enjoyable.
anyone else dead inside
>>17143119
You're not alone. Every morning I wake up wondering why I'm still alive.
number 3 reporting for duty
im not even depressed nor happy, its just neutral as fuck
i have no feelings
hello /adv/.
I was wondering what you all thought this little skin problem i have is.
I thought it was acne to start with.
But I have always been quite red in the face, and this is permanently how my skin looks up close.
I have looked at other rosacea cases, and I don't have it so extreme. Sometimes though I can go beetroot red. and my skin is very sensitive.
My skin does get quite oily, and it only gets really bad if I'm inside all day.
I am 23 years old.
So I am hoping that it is just late acne and not a lifelong thing I have to deal with.
Your thoughts?
Another picture, for reference sake.
>>17143069
omg you are so hot
Sorry dude, looks like rosacea. Especially if you have the facial flushing tendency.
Hello, all. Usually don't post on this board, but I need some help. Here's my story:
I've been dating my boyfriend for close to 4 years now, but lately I have been considering ending it with him. We do live together and we both live hours away from our family (4 for me, 8 for him).
Here is my reasoning:
1. Dislikes My Family: Frequently blows off my family/avoids them whenever possible and does not make an effort to accept them.
2. Sleep Schedule: Sleeps until 3-4PM usually everyday and does not make an effort to change this. When I get home from work at 5-6PM, he is just starting his work (he only works 4hrs a day). Wasted countless weekends waiting for him to wake up and do stuff together.
3. Poor Communication: He is not open with me. Days when he is visibly in a bad mood I will try to talk to him and ask how he is, and he either says ‘idk’ or just ignores me. Other times, when I try to discuss certain things, he will get super angry, start yelling at me, and make me feel like shit.
4. Lack of Motivation: For example, he doesn’t have a license and does not make an effort to get one. I have tried to get him motivated and told him I would help with this process, but he makes literally no effort. Also, I’m always the one coordinating literally everything (dinners, trips, etc.)
There are more reasons than listed above, but these are the main ones for me. I know I’m not perfect either, but this has truly been bothering me. I do love him so much and we have had such wonderful memories together, so this is really not easy. I just feel stuck and don’t really know what to do next. Any help would be much appreciated.
>>17143027
Have you come to him with these reasons and communicated effectively with him about what you don't like about your relationship?
Sounds like you're boyfriend has depression.
How is the sex?
Could he be a good father to your children?
