Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 798. page
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I feel like all the cultural material I care about is being raped by people who are trying to improve it, but don't get what makes it good in the first place, and end up fucking it up as a result.
So to console myself, I delve back into that stuff, I make threads about it and whatnot, to get my mind off of the retarded shit that's being done with them.
But it only ends up making me care more about those things, and when some new retarded thing is being done to them, it only annoys me even more.
So what should I do?
Should I just develop a crippling drug addiction?
>I feel like all the cultural material I care about is being raped by people who are trying to improve it, but don't get what makes it good in the first place, and end up fucking it up as a result.
Do you have any idea how pretentious this statement is?
>>17149764
>So what should I do?
Stop being a faggot. Don't you have real problems to worry about or something useful you could be doing?
>>17149774
It's a statement about my feelings. I don't see how claiming that I know how I feel is pretentious.
So there's this girl that I've known for a really long time. I got shut down a while back but that was that. Recently we both ended up being single and talking to each other. Like a lot. Snapchat streak lasts over a month and our text convos have been literally nonstop while she was waiting for me to move home. I'd suggested the idea of being more than friends a few times and she was just like yeah maybe idk. We've talked about exchanging massages and when I just got my new place this weekend she's been saying how we're gonna hang like every day and she's gonna like clean my house for me and wants to rescue a dog with me and just do all kinds of like, couple type of stuff together.
So all this time I'm thinking we're probably gonna end up dating. Well about a week ago she has this break down over her ex and like cuts herself really bad and all this stuff. I end up talking her out of suicide and things seem to be good. Had dinner sent to her work for her since she'd lost a lot of blood and she's I'm like "yeah I basically own (food place) so it's no big deal" and she's like "and my heart".
So I'm still feeling like I'm getting hella signals. She's saying all this gay couple dating stuff for a while now and sounding really interested. Fast forward to Friday night I have a move in party and of course she comes and brings her friend. We put a poster on the ceiling of my room together and all night she says like 3 times "I wanna go look at that poster" but due to one of my friends being way too not sober, like dangerously, I was too worried about making sure he's okay to act on that (if she was even serious? Idk). I eventually propose we make out and she suddenly says her and her friend have to go. Fine, whatever, I have a good night with my friends and make plans to see her yesterday.
Yesterday comes and we hang out from like 3-11. Just kinda hung out and smoked together all day. Her dumb ass friend was there too though. (1/2)
>>17149648
I don't need to read part 2 to know that you should have bailed on this girl a long, long time ago.
Can't make up her mind, plus self-harm? Why are you so desperate to get into a relationship with this train wreck?
>>17149648
Eventually her friend goes into my bathroom for a moment and I like, check on this girl. I'm like "hey have you been feeling better?" Cause I'm genuinely trying to help this girl be happy. She's like "I was fine til you brought it up and now I'm bummed" and I was like "I'm sorry. I just want you to have a good time and focus on being happy. She's like "yeah..." And it gets quiet. I go to put my arm around her since we were sitting on my couch and she goes "no". I immediately take me hands off and she's like "I don't like being touched." and it gets awkward. Her friend eventually comes back and things mellow out again. A couple hours later she says something about wanting to go look at the poster on my ceiling again. She goes into my bedroom and I ask her best friend if it'd be weird if i followed her in there since I didn't want to make her uncomfortable again. Her friend tells me no so I start walking and as I walk into my room she starts walking out. I play it off like I was just going to lay down and sit in my bed. Alone. She eventually comes in a bit later to say bye. No hug, nothing. Says "it's been fun seeing you again" and I'm just like "yeah...I'm like genuinely sorry about earlier I didn't mean it like that" and she just says "true" and they eventually leave. Pic related happens after they leave. (1/2 pics)
I'm not sure what to do any more. We've straight up been talking like we're dating but I'm tired of bringing her and her friend around and paying for shit and smoking them out if nothing is coming of it. She sends signals like she wants to date or fuck and then in person she's like really awkward and abrasive. I majorly like this girl though and want to make this work.
>>17149674
The shit thing is, is that even after all of this I still get the feeling she's interested. There's just some things you don't say, or do, or allude to if you're only intending to be friends. I'm not some experience-less kissless virgin, I know how to deal with women. She's just genuinely this much of an enigma to me and I have no clue what to do. But I really like her.
>>17149670
Because even if we only are nothing more than friends I genuinely want her to feel better. She's had a really rough time of it recently. I just wanna stop approaching it the way I am if she doesn't want to be more than friends. i majorly dig her though.
Going to post more info about this underneath because it's a tl;dr, but basically I can't see a happy future for myself in the UK and have always wanted to move abroad (to Canada, specifically). However, I'm scared to leave everyone I know behind and start completely anew in a country where I don't think I have any transferrable qualifications, especially as I still have student debt to pay off here.
Would appreciate any advice or experiences from anyone who has left family/friends and moved countries.
Ok so I've always had this slight desire to leave the UK and move to Canada, mostly because of its natural beauty and vastness, but it was never anything serious. Then, in the last few years, I began to increasingly feel like a positive future in the UK was incredibly hard to get. House prices are already ridiculous and increasing all the time, and I'll be at least 30 (but probably older) by the time I can afford to get a mortgage. Immigration is increasing, and our natural land is being built on to accommodate the increasing population. I still have good career prospects (if I get onto my preferred training programme in the NHS then I stand to make £40-50k after a few years' experience), but I don't know what good that money would be.
Furthermore, I developed depression a few years after a breakup, and gradually lost nearly all of my friends. I still motivate myself to stay healthy, get good grades, and keep socially active, but the truth is I've completely lost interest in my life. I carry on with the things I do out of habit, but I don't really enjoy anything anymore. As things stand, here's how I see my life in the UK: a series of houseshares and being poor and single until I'm 30-35, then maybe settle down with a girlfriend and family once I'm earning a decent amount of money, but immediately losing all money to pay for said girlfriend/family.
>>17149596
So I'm starting to seriously consider moving abroad. I spent a few months in Canada and it was everything I wanted it to be- stunningly beautiful, very friendly people, and young people actually seemed hopeful about the future (although this was before the oil crash, so maybe it's different now). However, if I did go through with a move abroad, I'd have to commit to it completely. That would mean putting an ocean between me and my family, who were the only source of support during my depression (although they don't know about it). It would mean wasting all the time/money I've spent on qualifications here, because I'd have to start completely fresh there. It might potentially mean more years of being poor and uncertain, which is exactly what I want to avoid. I'm worried that I've just got 'grass is always greener' syndrome, and I'll have the same problems in Canada and even less support and money. But at the same time I feel like this could be the best time to go, because I'm still young (23) and have no real ties keeping me here.
So what do you think? Should I just go for it? Or should I spend the next decade or so waiting it out in the UK, building up money and qualifications, before deciding if I still want to go ahead with a move?
Why does Reddit get so much hate on /adv/? It's not exactly worse than here
>/adv/ is full of non-normies/neets and most people in society frown upon 4chan (Would you rather be seen using 4chan or Reddit in the public?)
>people on reddit are less likely to troll/post gibberish answers as there is a username attached to their comment
>people answering questions in a subreddit will probably be more knowledgeable about the topic
>>17149549
Because we despise what's popular
>>17149549
You're right. /adv/ is full of normies and slut telling lies to people asking advice. The only reason I come here is to spread redpill truths.
>>17149549
Yeah I've unironically started using Reddit more and more. Subreddits can be very useful if you want to find out answers to a specific topic. The people on 4chan seem much more similar to me in terms of their cynicism and aversion to SJW bullshittery (although Reddit has users like that too), so I'll always prefer 4chan, but that doesn't mean Reddit isn't useful too.
Is there anybody here who lowered their standards in dating?
Was it worth it?
Sort of, not really..
>>17149535
yeah. I finally got a gf and I am a happy little fucker now.
>>17149541
where would you rate her on the looks scale?
So I'm being told that I give the wrong impression when talking to women online on dating sites.
Male here, and I'm fairly upfront about wanting something substantial instead of a hook up.
But mild cheeky comments I make are seen as overly sexual, and I don't see responses as overly sexual even though they apparently are.
I'm being told it seems like I'm trying to play an angle.
I don't get it. I'm just being myself when I talk with women. Can it be that many of them expect me to be sexual even when I'm not trying to be?
This is kinda frustrating. I know I can hook up with women easily. But I don't want to. Can a guy come across as disingenuous just because he doesn't talk about his dick often?
*sigh*
>>17149499
Are you fucking stupid? Just because you don't make sexual comments often doesn't mean that when you do it isn't seen as inappropriate. You obviously can't tell where the line is for inappropriate, so stop making those sorts of comments entirely to women you don't know well enough to know how they're going to take those comments.
>>17149499
The world has changed, and "mildly cheeky comments" are now considered offensive by a lot of women. (Actually, it is most likely that women have always been bothered by them, but are now finally getting up the nerve to complain).
So save your wit for later, when you know the woman well enough to be sure she won't be annoyed.
Could you give an example? I'm not saying I haven't done it but generally I think men mentioning anything sexual is a bad idea.
So, how do you get a decent girl nowadays if you are sub 7, not head full of hair, under 6'0, not Chad jaw, not protused maxilla and average cock?
>>17149486
Get rich and funny.
>>17149492
rich doesn't work
rich = she uses you for money, then cucks you for the good genes
sorry to tell you like this
>>17149486
Don't expect an 11/10 for starters, go for chicks who are similarly unappealing.
so, /adv/ I need adv
we're halfway through the year.
my gf cheated on me in december and we have broken up. we've since been in an odd friendship type thing (lolcuck i know), but with no chances of getting back together. I dont want that, pretty sure she doesnt. whatever, doesnt matter.
im just kind of stuck. I was in an alcoholic stupor from then until april, and during that time i burnt a lot of bridges, saying things that cant be taken back, to many people. my results are now i have maybe 2 friends, one doesnt drink or do anything, other is married. I don't know what to do at this point.
I have extreme social anxiety, i feel like im stuck. I'm deathly afraid of people and i spend most of my time crying. I am sexually inadequent, i feel awkward in bed. I just want to be drunk 24/7, but that feeling would fade, i know it, if i was somehow with a competent social situation.
At the same time, i want that and i dont. I want to be shut out, but at the same time i want to be loved and cared for. I'm awkward as fuck. I cant do this.
I dont care enough for anything, yet i want something, anything, to give myself meaning.
i dont even know what im asking for, im just drunk.
pic not related, i just like it.
anyone?
I would advise to stop getting drunk so much.
>>17149389
What do you think your two friends think of you ?
Also you can try to get Internet friendships ; you won't have to deal with a physical person unless you want to, they are easier to get and it might trick your social anxiety.
I'll try to make this not verbose.
Basically what happened was, as few months ago my girlfriend cheated me on with another guy. I really wanted to not leave over this, so I stayed with her, let her stay at my place. I pay most of the rent and utilities. I decided to play a little joke on her, which doesn't even compare to what she did to me when she slept with that other guy. There's this girl I've known since probably I was 11 or 12, that has just been a friend, never something intimate. I went to go camping with her for the weekend. Nothing happened, but I ignored my gf the entire time. She didn't know where I was, but I don't know what else to do. I love my gf so much, but she really put me through hell. I just wanted to be around a girl where there were no strings attached. I thought I had found the one.
She cheated on you, it's over.
what's the question?
If you want advice you must ask a question.
>>17149373
>Basically what happened was, as few months ago my girlfriend cheated me on with another guy.
Stopped reading there. Know that your gf is a slut and just dump her.
Long story short found out my gf send some guy pics the day after i asked her out. She was flirting with him and other people before we got together even though she told me she liked just me. I confronted her about it today and she cried a lot, i came to see her and we spent the day, things got better a bit and she did a lot for me today, i still want to break up with her but id feel bad doing it so soon, her bday is soon and she already has gifts from me waiting to open, what should i do
>>17149331
What kind of pictures? If you were together by that point i'd probably break up
>>17149331
>what should i do
Grow up
>being this insecure
>>17149337
Just some ass pics
What are some indoor hobbies my boyfriend and I can share?
We like watching anime and playing videogames but we are running out of things to watch and play.
We have been browsing 4chan with most of our free time and we are so bored.
>>17149301
Try cooking/baking something together
>>17149301
Try BDSM, that'll get the blood pumping.
>>17149316
we do but i mean nonsexual activities
>>17149304
thats a good idea! we both suck at cooking so maybe it'll help us out
I'm going to turn 27 this year and I was wondering if I am too old for university. Is it worth it? Is it worth it if I don't have any financial problems and a good job?
Little bit about my situation:
I've been a computer person my whole life however I got into a physics undergraduate program because of parents. I quickly realized that either I'm too dumb for that degree or too uninterested. In the meantime, I passed an exam to qualify myself for a position at a very good computer science institute. I found myself learning more computer science stuff than spend time on my actual classes. However, I got kicked out of university because I hadn't passed any exams in physics for 3 years and the CS institute doesn't employ non-students.
With decades of technical knowledge as well as my 3 years of experience at the CS institute, I've found myself a decently paying software development job. Been working there for a couple of years now but lately I feel like a loser because I dropped out of university. I lost my girlfriend because of it, my parents are still very disappointed and I feel like I missed out on a great experience. If I had transferred to a different university that offers a CS degree, I might have been doing my PhD now - assuming I didn't fail my studies because of lacking cognitive abilities, that is.
I'm in a very good position and on a fast track career-wise (already CTO's favorite and right-hand), I am not sure if dropping my job is going to be worth it. Also I don't want to be some old fart sitting amidst high school kids. The fact that I will get my degree in my 30's is absolutely dreadful to me.
>>17149268
>Also I don't want to be some old fart sitting amidst high school kids.
Dude, in college, I see people in their 30's to 50's. 27 isn't bad. Worry about yourself and your education. At least your trying to improve yourself. Uni is a big step .
>>17149268
I mean, CS is by far one of the few high paying/secure professions where you don't even need a degree.
I mean with coursera, udacity, lynda, and edx. you could literally teach yourself most of the shit you would learn in a college.
Lynda is literally $15 a month with some high quality shit, and it gives certificates. Its not a degree, but its pretty damn cheap.
Why not just teach yourself whatever subset of CS/Software Dev you want to get into using these high quality resources and just build a portfolio?
Literally sit down and identify EXACTLY what kind of cs job you want to land. Do you want to be a web developer? front end? back end? Do you want to work for a startup or a company like google? Go to your ideal job and look at the description. What skills/platforms do they want you to be familiar with?
A degree isn't necessarily the best option if you have legitimate experience under your belt. Tons of game development jobs say "Degree in CS required OR equivalent experience".
If you can point to a portfolio of projects you've worked on, you can display a pretty good skillset.
Now if you live in a country where tuition is dirt cheap, you might consider going for the degree, but if its like the US where you're out $50-200k depending on what school you go to, its not really worth it.
So here's what I recommend you do:
1. Identify what job in CS you want
2. Look at what requirements they want
3. Learn that shit
Now this all is predicated on the notion that you are self motivated. if you aren't, meh, you might want to go for the degree, since it'll give you that extra push to do something.
But there's a lot of bullshit in degeres. General education classes, electives, etc. A lot of it is a waste of time.
>>17149280
>Why not just teach yourself whatever subset of CS/Software Dev you want to get into using these high quality resources and just build a portfolio?
Not OP, but nobody gives a fuck about self-taught people. MOOCs are great in tandem with a classical degree but utterly worthless on their own.
Friendless femanon; I am pretty sure that I am a narcicist because it seems that I can only see myself dating someone who is obsessed with me. I have had a stalker before but I am not attracted to them. It seems that everyone else is a liar and cheater. How do I accept the fact that no one will live up to my standarda without losing the feeling of being a special snowflake even though i'm probably not?
haha
you sound like you don't really like honesty, honestly
>>17149191
You sound familiar. What's your name?
By doing something useful and building some real self-esteem inside your empty narcissistic shell and growing a thick skin. All it takes is practice.
What is the opinion of a guy with a 6inch penis?
Is it bad or good?
>>17149163
I think the average is 5.5 so 6 inches is good. How wide is it?
>>17149163
Oh, how sweet! Just like a real penis, only smaller!
>>17149163
Neither. It just is.
So, I got a new job.
>Security guard for a supermarket distribution center.
>$10 an hour, 40 hours a week, less than 15 minute drive from my house
>Great boss, any hours I want, first foot into security, broke out of the restaurant world.
>Still feel like a fucking NEET loser.
I'm gonna try to save up enough for a used car before my 25th birthday, but at 400 a week, it seems unlikely.
Been in a rut for four years now.
FML.
>>17149121
That sounds nice anon. Are you still living at home? Have you thought about getting a second job so you can move out and see the world?
>>17149138
I live with my dad, since I dropped out of my shitty college. I want to become an artist, but I'm just losing my passion in it.
I don't want to be one of those guys who has to work 70-90 hours a week just to barely pay the bills. Also got over 17K in student loans right now, that's a bitch. Want to look into forgiveness.
I don't think I can handle more than 40, honestly.
>>17149121
What did you get a degree in?
