Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 668. page
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Does anyone here ever struggle with a sense of destiny to greatness?
Like that one day you will do become a historical world figure?
I realize that is unlikely and unrealistic but I have always felt it.
desu I think it just might be some undiagnosed delusion or megalomania.
The issue this causes me is that it kind of makes choosing a career difficult. I have 4 options:
>hydrologist: Serve the people, doing important work and it is science related and has amazing job security and decent pay. Takes away time from studying math in uni.
>actuary: Make great money, I like math. Work isn't important as hydrology
>major in applied math without becoming an actuary: get a job in consulting or start a business(I have tons of them, my interest in business is not motivated by money but by my desire for independence). Work isn't important as hydrology
>become a comedy writer: I think I am funny, I would thoroughly enjoy this work, great money(if successful). Work isn't important as hydrology.
I am attached to the idea of serving the people. But I am also a nihilist. In the end everything ends. So why not pursue money? But I don't even like money that much. If anything I would like to use my money to have some autonomy and control my own time. Add to this my nagging sense of destiny, which pushes me toward doing whatever the fuck I want(because I will eventually be the hero I imagine), and puts me in suspense for a moment in which the stars line up and I will be able to be this hero I idealize myself to be.
sounds like existentialism to me, not nihilism.
anyway, delusions of grandeur can be healthy if you pursue with logical steps and turn them into motivating ambitions. what's stopping you from trying to achieve those things other than you insisting that it probably won't happen? you don't only have 4 options, you only have 4 convenient options.
can you guys at least answer this?
>Does anyone here ever struggle with a sense of destiny to greatness?
>Like that one day you will do become a historical world figure?
I want to see how common it is. Answering 'no' is just as insightful, to me, as answering 'yes.'
>>17188448
what's stopping you from trying to achieve those things other than you insisting that it probably won't happen?
I think it is unlikely to organize third worlders into destroying religion and pursuing glorious communism. Yup, that is my edgy dream. I am motivated by a strong sense of justice, I am from the third world and I have seen the abuse and corruption, my solution is atheistic communism. But what is the likelihood I will go back and organize the people into a better future? I am a realist and acknowledge I am just an individual.
Let's avoid any discussions of ideology, I share it just so you guys know how 'out there' my dreams are.
I am still unsure of my 4 regular options.
What is the likelihood that the liberator of a third world country posts on 4chan?
How do you actually make friends with someone? In the past it just used to happen because other people chose to include me in stuff, but now I can't seem to make friends on my own.
I've tried to be friendly with people, start texting them, etc, but I find that 99% of the time texts back are just one liners or sometimes they don't even respond, and then I don't know how to go on from there.
No one texts me first to ask me what Im doing except one girl that Im friends with. its like no one thinks Im good enough to be friends with.
>>17188369
I have the same problems
People only talk to me if i talk first; even my own friends...
I also can't hold a conversation so i don't talk to people and the the snakes bites it's tail again and again.
>>17188403
>Meet girl through friend.
>She adds me on facebook.
>says "you're cool" 20 minutes into the night.
>Is playful and makes conversation with me.
>friendly at first on facebook after that night.
>slowly becoming more glib with responses on facebook.
>hasn't responded to last text asking how her finals went.
fml. I ruin everything somehow. Its just like with plants too. I keep watering them if they look sick and trying to mess with them and they die.
Same here. I mean im pretty shy but im super nice to everyone but now that im out of school and all that I never get invited anywhere. Its depressing. I am 23, live in a college town and basically my only friend is my boyfriend
Friend who is girl that I've known and crushed on since age 12 (I'm 21) decided to basically throw herself at me.
But I'm in a relationship.
She stripped herself fully naked (I kept all my clothes on and had no part in that) and then she took my hand and then guided it over her breasts and had me squeeze them. Then she masturbated and I just watched, then she held my hand to her vagina and I felt it briefly.
I am mortified now. I couldn't turn away... so I just watched this.
No kissing. No penetration or anything like that, and I wasn't into it.
Should I just pretend it didn't happen, never contact that girl ever again, and move on with my girlfriend?
>>17188352
You were sexually assaulted. Report it immediately.
>>17188353
this.
If a girl said
>friend stripped himself in front of me.
>made me touch his dick with my hands.
You'd go to police.
>>17188353
Kek technically you were. Try and push that you were raped.
But also it sounds like you didn't do anything. You say she grabbed you and guided you. At no point did you pull away? Unless you were shocked to a point of being petrified.
Hey you guys. Is it normal is it to think about your first ex often?
I feel like after my first girlfriend I haven't been able to connect romantically with anyone. Even with my most recent ex- I never felt anything when I kissed her.
But... I have near-vivid memories of all the time I spent my my first girlfriend that still bring a big smile to my face even though that was 5 years ago.
Is anyone else like this? Any advice?
I know the feeling it sucks
You still love her. She dumped you, an I right?
>>17188280
Actually, I was the one who broke up with her. We were both girls so it mostly stemmed from insecurity issues...
Right now I'm living on campus, on decent terms with most people (well, I can carry on a conversation) but I'm not in a legit social circle (e.g. right now, I more or less turn up to the dining hall by myself and sit with whoever). Not socially retarded by the way, I just tend to keep to myself.
Cheers /adv/, have a great day
think of what purpose does a social circle serve
easily, the only reason to get in a social circle is because you share common traits and interests with such circle. For example, if you are a /tg/ enthusiast and find a roleplaying group then you will just naturally fit in. If you like videogames find people that like videogames as well, etc.
lets suppose you like anime, ask people if they like it and if so start from there. This, sadly, may seem kinda difficult for introverted people like you, but keep in mind that university isn't like high school, meaning that people do not look down upon others hobbies and thus you shouldn't worry about asking
Go to gym?
>>17188253
Definitely this, going to the gym helps so much with meeting people
When I was at high school I was depressed daily because of being ugly. When I moved to college I just stopped to think about it somehow and I just didn't care. It was all fine until now.
Since yesterday I don't know what happened but I started to hate the shit out of me again, I'm angry and depressed. I'm so angry at myself that I don't know how to release the steam. It's like it's boiling inside, I just fucking hate myself so much.
It's so fucking overwhelming when you have to look at yourself in the mirror and know that that shit of a face will be there starring at you for the rest of your life and you can't do shit about it. I'm so fucking jealous of people who are atleast normal looking.
Post pic
>>17188076
If its that bad you should get surgery, what is your ethnicity?
>>17188080
I don't have to post a pic, it's based on objective standards of beauty. I've got a big nose, fucked up jawline, uneven face and to top all that I'm balding in my 20.
>>17188081
I'm not a millionaire.
I need some serious advice guys. I'm in a situation I never thought I'd be in and I don't know what to do.
I think my cousin (19f, 6 months older) wants to marry me (19m).
I've been sleeping with her/secretly dating her for three years. Both sets of parents know that we're close, but they don't know this is going on (my mom suspects I'm seeing someone but she doesn't know it's my cousin) When we aren't in school we don't live that far away from each other, but we saw each other pretty infrequently before we were fifteen. Infrequently enough for GSA to take hold. As soon as she got her license we became very close, and after I got mine six months later we were all over each other. We've kept it mostly secret, minus me taking her to prom because she didn't have a bf (because she's dating me). Recently she's been dropping blatantly obvious hints that she wants to marry me, and I'm nervous about the whole thing. What do I do? Should I do it? How do we inform our family, if we do at all?
Just a few more things to clear it up a bit,
>We're both in college, just finished our first year. Our schools are within driving distance
>She's absolutely gorgeous 8.5/10
>We live in California, so it's legal for us to marry
>I'm infertile, so there's no fear of retard babies
>This isn't lust or puppy love, I genuinely love her and she genuinely loves me
>I won't post any pictures because she occasionally browses 4chan, including this board, and I don't want her to be mad at me
Due to the fact that I won't post pics, I'm sure a lot of you are thinking this is bait. It isn't. I genuinely want advice, and even though I'm a dummy for asking 4chan for advice, I still want it.
>>17187828
I mean do you want to do it? Could you handle your family casting you out, would they?
>>17187828
>19
>In love
>Married
>19
We can disregard everything else
That shit was normal back in the 18 hundreds
>staying over a friend's place
>wanna make a move but have never made a move before
Would it be too presumptuous to bring condoms? Is it possible that she'd be insulted in retrospect?
>>17187800
Don't "bring condoms." Just put like three in the bottom of your backpack. Make it seem like you always carry them around for whenever or for friends etc. Don't make it seem like you brought them specifically for this moment.
>>17187800
Do you normally carry condoms with you. Does she know if you do or dont.
If you dont have sex will she know you had the condom on you.
Just casually whip out your dick and see how she reacts.
How does one not become a misogynist?
All my life I grew up watching miserable marriages in my family and even coworkers jokingly tell me to never get married. Then there's all this crap everywhere on the internet, sure it's just anecdotal but there's literally millions of pieces of evidence against them. As if all of this isn't enough you gotta throw in some neo-feminism and tumblr radicals who're trying to make things even more "fair" for women.
I've had girlfriends who were okay but I'm worried about the future.
>>17187786
Being a realist is not the same thing as being misogynist. Stay MGTOW
Just understand that men are fucking stupid too, you just understand them better because you are one.
>>17187786
>How does one not become a misogynist?
One gets the fuck out of 4chan and never looks back.
I'm 20 years old. As a kid, I could really get into something and spend hours and hours doing it in one sitting, be it drawing, reading, or whatever else. I can't do that to save my life, now. It's like it's mentally exhausting just to focus on anything, even if it's something I want to do. I can work a lot doing less enjoyable things, like my shitty job, but the moment I have to focus and exert mental effort into learning a new thing or practicing a skill, I burn out in around 30 minutes and just can't stand doing it anymore.
I've been diagnosed with depression by two psychologists, but I don't get treatment because I had to convince them I was not to keep from being indefinitely institutionalized, and my family would think I'm batshit insane so I can't go to anyone as long as I remain on their insurance.
>>17187636
>Requires treatment
>Avoids treatment
>Wants help from people
>Avoids people
wew
I think your problems are bigger than finding shit to be interested in, kiddo.
>>17187649
The "treatment" was indefinite detention until at least my 18th birthday, Anon; so around six months, against my consent because my consent didn't matter as a minor.
My family are a bunch of jerks who stole my identity, ruined my credit, and have screwed me out of being able to finish my degree.
Neither treatment or the people surrounding me are valid options.
Bump since my /adv/ threads have a tendency to die with one non-response.
>tfw don't know how to seppuku
>tfw no doctor will tell you how.
Suicide bag or carbon monoxide poisoning. The former may be less painful.
>>17187592
Any benzo (its a class of drug, use Google to get a list of all of them) and alcohol will do the trick
>>17187586
You fill in boxes with the numbers 1-9 without using the same number in a row or column... god damn, you're stupid. You should kill yourself.
I moved to NYC for a job around 3 months ago and holy shit are all the women here dogs. They seem to fall under one of the following:
1. Boring, privileged white chicks who grew up in NJ or CT, went to a private college, spend 2/3rds of their paychecks on rent, and have no interests outside Beyonce, reality TV, and getting drunk with their guuurrrlllz
2. Hoodrats
3. Hasidim
4. Disgusting hipsters
5. Single 30- and 40-somethings who try desperately hard to act younger than their age
Anyone suggestions for meeting non-shit-tier women in this fucking town?
>>17186850
>Hasidim
What in the flying fuck is a "Hasidim"?
>>17186879
Religious Jewish women.
>>17186886
Oh. I've always heard bad things about NYC women. I don't think anybody can help you. They seem to be universally hated even by NYC dudes.
Since I fucked up in high school (2.8 GPA, no activities, 24 ACT) how feasible is it to go to community college and then transfer to somewhere like Princeton, TCNJ, or NYU
Pretty feasible for the first part. First off, you can easily get into community college with that GPA.
Transferring though will be harder. Get a 4.0 as best you can, get involved, and pray to the heavens you get in.
>>17186774
What about applying to actual Universities doesn't have to be the best one and my guidance counselor said people with worse GPAs and test scores made it into schools like Rutgers (Newark) I'm also considering Montclair state
>>17186771
>Princeton
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah
Long-time girlfriend recently got on instagram. We're in our mid 20s, and currently long-distance (about 1 hour). She got featured on some popular modeling page, and blew up in followers. Now she's swamped with hundreds of likes and comments on all her photos, and she's posting nonstop.
I told her this made me uncomfortable - I don't like even the idea of her getting so much male attention constantly. She doesn't state she's taken anywhere and refuses to put a picture of us together on her page. I think constant attention can change a person negatively over time. She herself has been concerned about me "getting hit on" because I looked nice one day going out for lunch, so I feel like she should understand where I'm coming from... She finished by saying "well i'm having tons of fun on here". She showed me her DM inbox - it's flooded with hundreds and hundreds of messages from guys.
I told her I don't want any local guys on there, and don't want her giving out her snapchat or phone number, to which she fully agreed. The only guys she follows back are body-building models. One of them commented about having a photoshoot with her in the future. I look on his profile, and he's from close-by. She had liked all his shit. I confront her:
>Who is that and why is he saying that?
>Idk, he asked me out, I said I was taken, he blocked me
>Did you give him snapchat, phone number or personal info?
>No!! I didn't give him my number! I don't wanna talk about this anymore
So I fucking messaged the dude, and he sent me a screenshot in which she instantly gave her snapchat when asked. Dude actually sent me the whole convo unprompted, and she did in fact refuse to meet up or give him her number but had been very flirty.
When I showed it to her and asked why she gave him it, she became extremely angry instantly, and said "OMG I can't believe you messaged him!!! Don't text me or talk to me today". And ignored my question.
WTF? Wat do?
your girlfriend wants more than any one person can give her and doesn't value honesty. She thinks appearing single by brushing your public presence as her boyfriend under the rug is "tons of fun".
I vote dump. When she comes running back to you just tell her it should be tons more fun for her now that she doesn't have a boyfriend to hide anything from.
I vote dump.
>>17186557
I'm most disappointed that we set the ground rules (no snapchat) and she broke it without even a second thought. She wholehartedly agreed to them when I brought them up. Also that the guy was close-by.
It's just irritating. I don't think I'm being "insecure" (she doesn't know what that means) here, as the guy was close and very real. She has dozens of "omg so beautiful" and "follow me back gorgeous" (to which she does if they're a body builder) etc. Fucking infuriating.
Fuck one or two more times and dump asap srs
So how can I tell whether someone deeply enjoys my presence and loves talking to me, or is only putting up with me out of politeness/pity/etc?
I can only figure it out when they tell me directly and genuinely, eg "i love talking to you, it makes my day" or "stop following me around, find some real friends". Is there a way to get people to do that faster? Asking them directly usually gets me some polite platitude like "oh it's fine, don't worry".
The worst part is that everyone seems to have the same problem with me! During practically every conversation they constantly ask whether they're bothering me, disturbing me, that i don't have to talk if i don't want to, etc.
Drives me fucking nuts since i genuinely like just sitting there and listening to their problems for hours, that's why i'm on this board so much after all (if i could understand people i'd probably make a decent shrink).
Got any ideas?
If they only respond when prompted, they're not enjoying the conversation or have other stuff that to them is more important. If this happens consistently rather than just occasionally, the person probably isn't enjoying your company.
If they actively engage you, especially if they're involving you rather than just talking at you, then they enjoy your company and the conversation. The more often this happens, the better the relationshop between you two.
There's exceptions to these, but this is a good guideline.
You can also see how the person behaves with others. If they're friendly with everyone, or if they're reserved and distant with everyone, you need to look harder to make sure. It's easy to figure out if you're the exception.
>>17186275
If they ask you questions about yourself, and not just those basic "How are you?" or "What is your major?". People who are truly interested will want to know more.
>>17186302
>If they only respond when prompted, they're not enjoying the conversation or have other stuff that to them is more important. If this happens consistently rather than just occasionally, the person probably isn't enjoying your company.
This doesn't exactly work with socially awkward people, eg the autistic and anxious. O can figure out if someone's autistic fairly easily, but when it comes to girls, most seem to be anxious, at least around me: how can i tell whether this is due to me being creepy/strange (not knowing how to get away from me?), intimidation/fear, attraction, social anxiety in general, or perhaps my social ineptitude rubbing off on them?
>You can also see how the person behaves with others.
The problem is that most people seem to be the same in this regard: they are friendly with their friends, and reserved with other people. The only exceptions seem to be flaming extroverts and traumatized kids/social outcasts.
Also, using this metric has led me astray in the past: i assumed that since people chat freely, gossip, and laugh with their friends, yet are more guarded around me, that means they don't like me. But apparently it really just means that we aren't friends yet, only the aforementioned flaming extroverts are as talkative and giggly with acquaintances as with friends.
I could watch them with various acquaintances and see how they interact differently with the ones they like and don't like, but this seems a little excessively creepy and stalkerish. Is it?
>>17186322
How do I distinguish this from pity?
