Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 59. page
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Is this a low self esteem thing? Because I don't think I have low self esteem, but basically this:
So I'm pretty good with girls, but I really only like the chase. If the girl I've been pursuing starts to like me, I lose interest in her and don't want to pursue her further, even if we don't fuck and even if she's really into me.
Since I was 19 I've done this with at least 8 or 10 girls (I'm 25 now), and I always distance myself after the girl becomes infatuated with me or after we fuck a couple times.
One of my female...
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>>17356480
well, I don't know you but there might be different reasons: maybe you don't like relationships that run too deep or too long and so you cut'em as soon as they start bothering you or maybe it's true that you're in only to get satisfaction for them liking you and then run away
>>17356480
Can relate and I'll bump because I'd love to hear other stories.
gonna describe this honestly, not trying to impress or brag etc.
I have an awful, stupidly high libido which has been a problem since I can remember. For most of highschool my entire social effort was attempting to get laid which ended in shit like grade 11 me dating who I think was 22 at the time, but with the cycle of dropping contact after a short "relationship" these girls who of course were friends or friends of friends...
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>>17356647
After ignoring texts and dropping it all there's never been any guilt, not that I'm not aware of their feelings, the effect it has on them and how dickish I'm being. It just doesn't weigh heavily, possibly because the casual fucking was where we both mutually started so I don't feel as though I owe any more courtesy than I'm giving which once again is shitty behavior on my part.
There was a point when I was 20 where I'd narrowed it down to three things I suspected, either I:
was a sociopath
had Borderline Personality Disorder
or had no attention span
In January this year (I'm 23) I was assessed and then fully diagnosed with ADHD and had fully explained to me the lengths of my social anxiety.
We'd had a brief conversation on relationships and in my case, fickle relationships does fall under the umbrella of my disorder.
Since then I've been with three girls, two of which I'd dropped as per usual, although on medication the process has been different. Different as in slower I guess? More of a gradual let down with a final "talk".
But girl number three is who scares me. We've been dating for a month and I've only been this comfortable around maybe two people this quickly in my life. We've gone exclusive and things are so rock solid between the two of us
and yet I'm so scared that, as I've done time and time again, I'm gonna wake up one morning in that *click* of a mindset and just drop it.
Could self-esteem be a large factor in our cases? I don't think it's NOT a factor, but it might not be surfacing in the form of needing constant validation. In my case if low self-esteem is fueling anything it's the mass doubt that makes me panic and kill the relationship.
What I've learned is that my other mental health issues at play which affect my school and work have been affecting everything else I hadn't thought of. Another thing to ask yourself is are you okay with your routine? Is this behavior you're looking to correct or are you just trying to understand it?
Post the weird stuff about you and let other people judge you
>Shower once a month when I smell
>Don't brush my teeths sometimes mouthwash before an important encounter
>18 male virgin
>never fapped. dont plan to
>was addicted to watching porn for a year
>>17356477
the fuck?
>>17356477
i don't judge you but as someone (21) whose teeth are fucked up i will suggest that you brush your teeth more often.
the teeth die first.
then the big holes happen.
you can't brush away death.
ooh god i was going to make a thread like this
>today is my two day anniversary since i started working here
>in that time I have literally only been on time once
i feel so ashamed and keep thinking I'll change but i never do. even this morning i rationalized 'well theres no consequences so why not enjoy it til i get a different job?
Dear /adv/,
I've fucking had it with not making this long overdue decision. I've been studying linguistics, because I'm naturally really good with languages, but along the way of studying, I noticed that this is not leading me anywhere I want to and also the job and salary perspectives are subpar. I asked myself: What do you want to do with your life and I've come to see that I only want it go into one or the other direction. Firstly, one possibility is going to police/military, because I always had a fascination for this kind of work/lifestyle, I love...
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Stay in shape, and finish your school. Unless your military has a good reserve program which would allow you to do schooling that they pay for while you're getting paid as well.
Then you can decide from there with a foot in each door.
Addition: I'll be here for another half an hour, then I'll go out for dinner, but I'll be back later in the evening.
>>17356458
If i get right what you mean, then yeah, the german military has that. You can go study while getting paid, but I believe that you have to sign up for 12 years of service as an officer or so...
hey /adv/
I am having trouble having a relationship with my boyfriends brother. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but my boyfriend lives with his brother and his brother is always around.
I know its not just me, and my boyfriend has issues dealing with him, and he has no friends because he is so un-pleasent.
We used to invite him along, and do stuff with him when we were first dating 4 years ago, but the guy would always pick fights with people! At concerts he ended up in the hospital, and the train station he pulled out a weapon because someone...
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>>17356445
how much acid does this guy do and how frequently? he needs therapy because he sounds super fucked up.
>be in an abusive situation
>staying in an abusive situation.
Derp, move out.
Why do you have to fuck with the guy who causes problems with everyone. You're not going to help him, let him do what he does, and if you're not wanting to be involved, leave. It's his house, and he can do what the fuck he wants. Y'all don't like it, move.
>>17356447
He did 90 or less hits within 4 months!
He says he is going to counselling but i think he is lying about that
my bf gave me $500 i feel kinda bad how am I supposed to thank him? obviously I said thank you and realll showed I appreciated it but I feel kinda bad, I was just kinda kiddig and asked him for $1,000 bc were going on vaca and I need cute things for it and whatever and he gave me $500.
what should I do? buy him soembrknf ?
also I feel bad bc I was giving him shit later in the night bc and we got in some fights ha
give him one of the best blowjobs hes ever had in a while and buy something sexy to wear for one of the days for vaca to excite him.
>>17356422
Are you the girl who posted a few days ago?
The one who talked about how her boyfriend didn't make her feel appreciated and didn't spend enough time with her?
Be faithful and obedient and don't start shit with him. If you're a cunt to him after this that's when you should feel really bad. I wouldn't even give 500 to my gf,family or friends so he either really likes ypu a lot or is paying to to shut the fuck up and not be a bitch.
Hey, /adv/ I'm thinking about getting a sex toy, since I have been masturbating way too frequently for the passed few weeks with just my hand (and yes, I know, I'll be taking a break for a while). I'm kind of scared that if I keep doing it with just my hand, I may lose some sensitivity. Anyway, I'm thinking that a fleshlight may be a decent alternative for me, especially since I would have to adjust to it not being as tight as my grip. I got a bit of cash, but I am not looking to spending $150+ USD for a piece of silicone.
What are some good websites...
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>>17356412
If money is an issue i'd say a fleshlight is not worthwhile.
Just learn to fap with your non dominant hand instead.
>>17356433
Oddly enough, I'm tight with both hands, but I could try.
Find real vaginas. Tinder makes it incredibly easy if you're not a landwhale. If you are a landwhale, lose weight.
Do any of you guys have problems with your SO giving you a general lack of respect.
My girlfriend will always steal the grocery cart from me, always forces guilt trips on me when I don't want to take care of her dog, never takes no for an answer, or if she does it's followed by 3 more phone calls about the situation and a lot of crying until I inevitably say yes.
Last night was my guys night, so naturally I was doing competitive online gaming. I get 4 phone calls from her, have to meet her in my driveway mid match, and then she cries in the bathroom until...
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Hit her more
>>17356404
yeah man, always with my best friends as well. but they come around and they love me.
nothing to the level your talking about. sure maybe a night of it but nothing prolonged. she sounds spoilit
>>17356409
It's been every night like this for the past months.
She's always asks if I'm going to break up with her, it's really annoying. Like, if she has so little faith in our relationship, what does that mean for me?
Is anything important?
>>17356400
only when you become important to someone else. A lover, a doctor, a president, a leader, its up to you how you leave your mark in this world Anon.
>>17356400
ask yourself if you want to die. you'll have your answer.
>>17356400
Importance is relative to priorities.
>I want to do a certain thing
>get 120% motivated and do it efficiently and enjoying the process
>Someone asks me to do the same thing
>get extremely bored by it and procrastinate with other stuff as much as possible
Has it ever happened to you that whenever someone asked you to do a thing you like, you immediately lose all interest and passion in it?
What could be the cause? A lingering rebellious phase? I'm clueless here
>>17356388
Are you like 18-20?
This is common as shit, it happens to almost everybody
>>17356510
Whaaa?It is? Wow, I thought I was the odd one. Why though? I mean, what's the reason?
I need a more detailed answer to clear my doubt tho, can anyone help me?
Been extremely suicidal lately. I found a really nice channer girl that I hit it off REALLY well with. She's honestly a really cool girl and I'm 100% happy with just being her friend and don't even care about anything else.
We'd be in voice call for hours, we'd just good off and play games or watch anime together. She genuinely laughs and has a great time with me. She's gotten into serious topics with me about her issues and insecurities, I've helped her and she's told me many times she appreciates my friendship.
But she...
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You're not a good match. You both need what the other can't provide: stability. Neither of you are capable of helping each other, even if you want to. It's cliche, but you really do need to help yourself before you can help someone else.
The most confusing aspect of it is that she really has told me that she's happy she met me, she admires a lot of my traits, and she really cares about me and feels like shit for making me worry so much.
I don't pressure her. I don't excessively message - usually space out my pokes about a week apart. She DOES eventually get back to me, we usually have a brief 1-3 day period where things go normal again and then poof...
I'm trying to be patient but this has been going on for about a month now. I don't want to ditch her, I truly care about...
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>>17356364
wtite her a sincire message saying that you care for her and want to be there with her to lead a more progressive future. dont say that you love her or anything like that but tell her that you would be devastated if she killed herself.
how do you make masturbation more enjoyable
>>17356363
Get someone to do for you.
You learn not to masturbate.
>>17356365
this
I swore into the army and always receive a lot of "you're so young. How could you give up your life"
Maybe its because ive been brain washed or something but I cant see a downside to me joining besides the possibility of death or rape.
>free healthcare
>job training
>college credit
>develop brother/sister hood
>travel
>my dads veterans benefits is paying for all...
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>>17356359
hey if you like it then do it. its not for me personally but it has some great benefits. you'll have awesome life skills you will always use and learn dedication and the beauty of pain.
people see it as negative because you could potentially fuck your life up. even if you dont die in combat, mental scarring is just as bad. more soldiers have comitted suicide then died in the iraq war.
your choice op.
>>17356359
For most people death is pretty big deterrent. Along with ptsd or crippling injury
Others don't see the war that the army engages as justified, so it is more of an ideological opposition.
There are obvious restrictions on your personal freedom when you join the army. and most people don't want that.
That aside, I think you should do what you want, but I advise you should think hard about it before you commit. Cheers, soldier
>>17356370
I forgot to consider not dying. As in losing a leg or my mind at war instead of my life. I suppose I like the idea of death more than becoming useless.
Why isnt it for you? I mean if you have health problems I understand completely. But I feel like its such a great opportunity for money and experiences.
>>17356374
I forgot politics plays into this. Im gonna be a medic though. I see this more of a helping people thing rather than supporting the goverment....
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Hey /adv/, how do I eradicate house flies? And I don't mean, get them out of my home, I mean, how can I kill as many as humanly possible?
Get a bowl and fill it with wine / juice and some kind of toxic chemical. They will rush to the location and start eating for moments before they drop dead.
Also keep you house clean.
>>17356353
DDT. Spray it everywhere. It will kill flies (and also all other living things smaller than humans, while producing genetic malformations in the children of any humans in the area. But it will kill the flies.
Clean up the place. If they don't have anything to eat, they die.
