Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 393. page
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Please help
A young guy broke into my house last night.
I live in Australia.
He's dead.
I don't know what to do
>>17279819
How did he die? And either way, call the police. Even in the case that you killed him out of fear for your life, coming forward is one of the best ways to show you aren't just a psycho killer.
The alternatives aren't fun.
>>17279822
I didn't do it straight away, it's just I've read some people have gotten into trouble for killing despite an intruder being in their home with ill intent.
Fucking cuckhold country.
>>17279839
Didn't call police because of what I read.
I'm in my twenties and I have no chance of ever having a relationship. Is it possible to pay an escort to pretend to be your girlfriend for a few hours? Something like I could take her somewhere nice to dinner and we could talk for a few hours. I'm not really after sex and I live in a major city in the US.
It's your money.
>>17279814
Yes. It's called a girlfriend experience because it's a thing.
>>17279814
>I'm in my twenties and I have no chance of ever having a relationship
Yes, you're clearly at the end of your life. Things will never, ever get better
I feel like it's very wrong and fucked up, especially the last time i did it, i almost broke in too tears cause it's feels fucking awful and messed up, but i'm bored of regular porn and even most of my fetishes, should i still keep jacking off too it?
bumping plz reply
btw this shit isn't a fucking joke/troll plz help i'm getting addicted to it a little bit but it feels wrong idk what to do
>I keep doing something that feels wrong and bad, and it makes me cry. What do?
Maybe you should... yaknow, stop doing it?
I've had 9 days off work as holiday. I'm supposed to go back today in 3 hours time but I'm sat up at 3am holding a carton of milk to my ear because I have a really fucking painful ear ache. I also have a soar throat and a cough. I doubt my work will believe I'm ill, it's just my fucking luck this would happen the day I go back. How do i stop this awful fucking ear ache I feel so helpless I can't sleep because of it. Should I just call in sick and visit the doctors?
>>17279767
>Visit doctor
>Acquire note from doctor for absence
Wala: a justified absence
Why not visit the doctor and get confirmation that you need a sickleave from work? Also you would get treated and that ache would be gone in hours.
>>17279767
Antihistamine. Anti-inflammatory. Fluids. Go see a doctor to make sure it's not an infection
TLDR: Going to a kinky party as a slave, what do?
Looks like I will be going to a kinky party with a mistress i met on fetlife. She said id be on a leash and tending to any needs she has during or after scenes, as well has carrying her toys around, and that I might get pegged later in the night. I've never been to one of these parties, What am I in for(aside from buttstuff)?
What is she saying when she means tend to her needs? fetch her water? eat her out?
Any advice for this would be great
Spoiler: anticipation is part of the game.
>>17279741
so just relax and enjoy whatever happens, whatever it could be?
Be ready to suck a cock or two.
What's a good dinner meal that will put me at my best performance tomorrow? I haven't taken an exam in about 7 years, but this is a standardized test to certify me for my promotion.
I want to treat myself a little bit, but I don't have time to cook anything tonight - so I'm limited to ordering in or heading for fast food/a quick pre-prepared meal at the grocery store.
I don't eat breakfast because I have some stomach issues, and wouldn't want to have to shit my brains out in the middle of this exam. So, dinner only...
Thanks /adv/
>>17279719
Eat your favorite. The biggest thing before an exam is to relax and get a good night sleep.
What princess is the far left one supposed to be?
>>17279766
Sleeping Beauty I think.
context: Okay so I'm a pretty good friend to this one person, but I fucked up on Saturday and I've been feeling guilty about it. I trolled this one guy and from what I've heard, the person started crying hard. I've been depressed and felt extremely guilty for what I've done and I've decided that I will end my friendship with the person. Is this justified by my foolish actions, or is it not? Any advice to this would be appreciated.
Have you considered apologizing? "I'm sorry I was such a cunt on Saturday"?
I did, but I doubt the person will forgive me.
bully
Anyone ever go through a minor alcohol withdrawal? Due to circumstances I've been drinking heavily pretty much all the past week. Decided not to tonight and I noticed my hands and feet getting clammy and sweaty.
How long will these symptoms last? (Assuming I dont touch alcohol for the next couple days)
Will the sweating be gone by tomorrow?
>binging for a week
>"guys, I need rehab"
Grow up, kiddo.
Time to go to AA, anon.
Might even want to consider the ER.
>>17279594
>kiddo
you're the one who needs to grow up
I was put on a Performance Improvement Plan at my job today. It hurts because I thought I was doing well and was praised for getting work done quickly but they put me on this one assignment which was already past a month deadline before it was handed off to me, and the work that needed to be done on it had stuff I wasn't familiar with using.
Next thing I know im assigned another project to complete by a deadline while still finishing up this first one. I managed to get the second project done by the deadline just to get it out of the way.
However I guess my...
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>>17279581
What's the job?
what is your job?
>>17279581
>does this guarantee that I'm going to be let go or can this be overcome and I can keep my job if I follow through?
If it were a guarantee that you were going to be let go, they wouldn't bother doing it at all: they'd just let you go. They'd save considerable money and time by doing so. That's the good news, OP: they don't want to fire you.
I have never been on a PIP, but there have been times in my life when I honestly should have been on one...
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![4959177886_51fdbdf3e4_z[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/No2Zv4s.jpg "4959177886_51fdbdf3e4_z[1].jpg")
I ended up finding someone a couple of years ago who is similar to me through dating websites, a guy who was willing to understand my intense desire to have a very, VERY slow relationship. As in it took me a few months to just touch him kind of slow.
He's an introvert like me, and no I don't mean "oh we don't like spending time with our fifty friends every day" introvert, I mean his parents forced him to start dating or they would kick him out of the house (even though he's getting a second master's degree in engineering), and both of us are virgins, so we just naturally clicked because of our upbringings, how we act, and our hobbies. We generally talked through Skype.
It's been a few years, and after finally getting close enough to trust him, I decided that we would finally go... Well... THERE. And this is where my problem is. See, I haven't let anyone see me naked, and he's done pretty much the same, just because we're both really self-conscious. (I'm flat, thin but not toned... etc....) He's not muscular, he's thin like I am but with a bit of a belly, but I was expecting that, and I was really nervous about going further than just shirts, and we did. But when I took off his pants, I discovered he's... huge. Not, like, "oh this is the first time I've seen a 3D dick and it scared me" (I have a lot of toys), but like... Equine status. A forearm hanging off his waist kinda situation.
I called off the sex because it put me in a panic, and I don't know how to explain to him that his penis is just too massive for what I'm comfortable with experimenting with. I mean we've been together for three years without sex, can't we just keep doing what we're doing and pretend it never happened? Can I just tell him that?
Is he black?
Why not try some foreplay? Get a little more comfortable with it and worry about intercourse later. There are plenty of ways to get off without sticking it in.
If you're both introverts, it's not gonna click imo.
Hey /adv/
How are women consciously able to keep a plan B "friend" around even when she has a boyfriend? Do they have no morals or something? What should I do if I am a plan B?
Just B yourself :)
>>17279549
That's a terrible joke but I can't stop laughing
why do i look ok in the mirror but look like complete shit when i take pictures of myself or when i get pictures taken, all these flaws start to stare at me right in the face and it makes me so insecure. am i taking bad pics or something? but even then i look horrible whenever a pic is taken of me. what do :(
>>17279502
There are several contributing factors that cause this effect and you're not alone. It could be due to the type of camera.
And there's also something called the Mere-exposure effect which causes people to become comfortable with the way we look at things. We're far more familiar with how we look in a mirror that when we see the reverse, i.e. in photos, we become uncomfortable.
Just about everyone thinks they look bad in photos, so don't worry too much about it.
Similar problem here.
1) How good photographer is matters
2) My face is slightly asymmetrical and mirror image does look better. It is very obvious when i take phone selfies, think they are ok, and then they get flipped, become worse
>>17279515
Another example of how a camera makes a big difference.
This question is for men only (and for girls only if you're a lesbian)
What do you like most in bed? What is it that your girlfriend does during sex that is absolutely mindblowing?
I'm asking this because I'm absolutely insecure in bed and I really wanna spice things up a little with my boyfriend.
What would you guys advise me to do to look hotter on bed?
>>17279395
I like feeling a girl orgasm especially if it's during penetration. Also, blowjobs if they're good and the girl is super into it.
>>17279395
definitely a blowjob when the girl is really into it. especially if the girl is playing with herself while giving the blowjob. feeling my ex moan with my dick in her mouth was the best thing about our relationship
>>17279395
For me it's her begging me to cum inside her. Then, right before I fill her up, she pulls me in with her legs and holds me inside her as I unload. After I'm 100% done she holds me longer inside and tells me how hot that was/she can feel me twitching/etc.
This thread has reminded me how much I fucking love my girlfriend.
I'm 24 am I too old to go to uni and med school?
>>17279324
no, there is not age restrictions on medical school
>>17279324
never give up brah, you can do this
>>17279324
No.
Never is too old to go where you belong.
>tfw smoking 75 cigarettes a day
anyone here managed to quit smoking?
>>17279318
How are you still alive?
how the fuck do you afford that? that's like what 5 packs a day?
>>17279318
yes people have managed to quit smoking. no, its not with some secret that isn't known.
the way people quit is the way you've heard all along.
weening, patches, and self restraint.
