Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2198. page
- Home
- Board: /adv/ - Advice
- Reading: Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2198. page
My boyfriend is still a student, and as a result has very little money. I've already graduated, and thus have much more money than he does. Right now we share a very small apartment with a third person.
I was thinking of getting a bigger, nicer place. I already know he wouldn't be able to really pitch in on the rent, so I'm thinking that I'd just pay it, instead of splitting stuff.
I floated this idea past a friend of mine, who warned me that it was a bad idea. Living in this kind of arrangement would make it obvious to him that he wouldn't be able to pay his share, and would eat at him. I already pay for things when we go out to eat at fancier places, though he pitches in when he can.
Should I continue to live in a smallish apartment if it means that my bf can split the rent with me, or should I go for something nicer, and just pay for it all? Is it a problem if I pay for a bunch of the stuff in our relationship? I don't mind doing it at all, but I don't want to make him feel like dead weight.
Pic not related, but good at getting attention.
I think it's wiser to stay where he can afford. hes a student so it will get better but it is going to be problematic for him to get into a situation he can't pull his weight in.
>>16474393
>Is it a problem if I pay for a bunch of the stuff in our relationship?
Do you want to be his mom or something? Do you have self confidence issues? How far along is this relationship?
Some guys think it's emasculating, others love to be treated. If the roles were swapped there wouldn't be nearly as much debate.
Only you know him. Ask him how the money thing feels to him.
I really feel like no one believes me, but I have like 10 girlfriends. I have a couple dudes who are really into me. None of the girls I fuck with are sluts. I mean, not any more than me. We all go hiking, we all fuck, we all have a group of close friends...I have 10 different circles at least of girls in this town. None know of eachother. I feel like the ultimate slut, but I'm a dude. I feel so conflicted. I could call them all to pick me up right now and I could cry and fall into their arms and fuck them for hours and days. At some point I'm going to get shot or something...but nothing ever happens. I'm in too deep to stop. I guess. Whatever? I'm 24. Am I really good at life or just a piece of shit?
How do you possibly hide that? Seems inevitable to run into one of them while out with another
>>16474340
As long as nobody gets hurt don't worry about it.....
Treat yourself to a vasectomy
My girlfriend recently told me that she'd be okay with me having sex with other women.
According to her, I have to approve them with her first before I have sex with them.
She has asked about details of my previous sexual partners and displayed minimal jealousy on a number of occasions.
What's going on here /adv/?
>>16474287
ITS A TRAP
I'm this way with my boyfriend too. I just never got why people would be jealous of their significant other's sex partners. Sex isn't all that important to me, and if anything, maybe he could learn a thing or two from other women outside of our normal routine. Only possible concern would be catching an std or him seeing trashy people that might lead to trouble, so I'd want to know them and approve of them too. But he's not really into seeing other women so I never really had to deal with it in the end.
If she's like me, then she just doesn't care about that stuff. Or maybe she's into kekholding.
I suggest you ask her what's up yourself.
>>16474291
Maybe I'm too autistic to understand women, but if she approves someone and I fuck them, can't I just say that she O.K'd it? Obviously I wouldn't say it that blatantly, but you get the point.
Help please
>ask girl out
>says she only wants casual
>I ask if we can do casual stuff
>says only if i get another girl involved
>shes dead serious
how do i convince another girl to join in on a ffm threesome with me?
This is a 2 for one deal only it seems
imo she prolly saying that cause she doesn't think you can do it
She's using you to get the girl, most likely if you do get one for her, you will end up having a shitty threesome as she will be focusing more on the girl. Ive done this a couple of times too, sorry.
>>16474234
nah brah she touched my dick but said no release until i bring another
How do I move to a big city from my shit rural town. Everyone tells me you need like 35/hr and it's like 3 grand a month to live in the the ghetto. I don't need anything fancy I just want a really small room with some bro roommates and I don't mind any living conditions since I already live in shit.
I can't look at rednecks anymore I can't. Would rather live in 6x9 room on a futon in a walk up with a long commute in a ghetto with people getting stabbed in the parking lot.
>>16474147
why do you keep posting this?
>>16475292
this.
>>16474147
come on OP ^ answer the other anon.
why do you keep on posting the same thing? have you not gotten your answer yet? or are you still looking to make excuses for yourself.
>19 years old
>live with parents
>parents paid for community college
>getting good grades
>have a decent paying job for an unskilled teen
>want to study engineering when I'm done with cc
>don't do drugs, drink alcohol, get into trouble
>have good relationships with the people in my life
/adv/, why do I feel like a fucking failure?
Why do I feel like its the norm for kids to go to universities straight out of high school, and live happily in their dorms and not have a job and go have crazy parties and have wild nights? I was never given this. Despite growing up in a wealthy family, my parents wouldn't pay for a university, only a community college. I feel like I'm fucking missing out on so much. No, I don't plan on staying in a community college. I'm hoping and praying and working my ass off for a 4.0 so I can transfer to a university. But then I'll be 20 and I'll feel like I missed so much.
Do you know how fucking hard it is to tell people I go to a community college? Like everyone assumes I go to a university so when I tell them the name of my college they haven't even heard of it. Fucking sucks. And meanwhile I look at my friends on social media and whatnot and they're getting hammered and doing crazy shit at parties. And I'm in my parents house, watching Netflix in my spare time.
Am I being a baby? Or do I legitimately have a reason to feel like shit? Community college isn't the end of the world, right?
I just feel like adulthood hasn't even started for me. I live with my parents and my school night as well be highschool again.
>>16474110
Who gives a shit what others think.
>>16474110
I'm kind of on the same boat as you, Op. Except in my case I'm in uni already and have to see all these people dorming and having an experience that I may never have. I've learned to deal with it at this point and try to just make friends that do dorm so that I can chill with them some nights and not have to go home all the time. It sucks but you just have to keep on trucking, man. Not much else you can do until then. And trust me, 20 is not old at all to be dorming. You will blend right in and no one else will really care how old you are.
>>16474140
The "trucking" is just very very painful. I just want to fast forward through this boredom.
Hello /adv/, I want to buy a bracelet for my girlfriend for Christmas but I have no knowledge whatsoever about the quality of jewellery and whatnot and I have a budget of 100$ to spend on it.
I was wondering if anyone has already done this before and could give me good websites that could also ship to Canada
Just want to give her something of a bit of value that she could hold on to and appreciate it.
What kinda of dumbass buys his gf a bracelet?
>>16474058
Go to the jewelry store m8.
Ask her what she wants and get her that
![male-and-female-relationship-sign[2].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/5w3jI97.jpg "male-and-female-relationship-sign[2]")
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complex's are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon or Female Brandon
Piss off.
>Frog
Also piss off.
Is it a turnoff if a guy tells you how he feels when you're casually dating? Or is it better to just let things progress?
Been seeing this girl for a while, not really dating, we've been friends for a while, we've had dates where we've seen a movie, or she's hung out at my place and we just chilled. We've also spent some time fooling around but no sex yet. This has been going on for months on and off. I went through the entire month of October without seeing her but we've seen each other every week since then in some capacity. I'm not sure where we are. It seems casual, but I really like her and I don't think she knows how I'm feeling. All I want to tell her is some variation of "I'm really into you and I look forward to everytime we hang out" in order to let her know I want something more than just casually seeing each other on the weekends. It seems like there's always a cloud of uncertainty or some sort of tension when we hang out and I can't tell if it's because we both want to take things further or if she is aware of my intentions and doesn't want it. Her vibe always seems to be different, sometimes she seems into me and others it seems like I'm just there, I'm not able to read her very well and it's making me unsure.
Bonus question! How high school is it for a 25 year old man to ask her friend how she feels? Her friend only recently found out we've been seeing each other (neither her nor me have told any of our friends, she only happens to know through a coincidence). I've known her friend a for a long time and are good friends ourselves. She seemed happy when she told me she knew about us and I figure it's a good opportunity to gain some kind of insight into how she feels about me, but it feels totally pathetic and sad to do so. Is it?
>>16474114
>Is it a turnoff if a guy tells you how he feels when you're casually dating?
Only if she actually doesn't want something serious. Have you ever talked about feelings in general, like anything emotional? There are people who don't think men should generally admit to or show any emotion/feeling. There are others who realize that's stupid.
Just tell her. If she's turned off, that sucks but it'd be better for you to cut ties anyways since you want more and she doesn't. If she replies positively, well then you can talk about being "official" or whatever.
Don't involve the friend.
>>16474114
Didn't read the TL;DR, but if we're just casually dating and it's not serious, then I'd probably back off if he told me about his feelings and I felt we weren't on the same page.
I went through a break up a few months back that really did a number on me and I was fucked up for a long time. Thought about suicide for the first time in my life and it took some serious doing to get myself back out to the real world.
I now have a great job and more friends than I ever had when I was with her, but I still have days every now and then where I really just don't want to live anymore and I'm sick of the world and I want to die. Keep in mind that since the break up I've hooked up with two different girls and gotten number from countless others. I'm actually texting a girl as we speak and we plan on meeting sometime this weekend for a date.
But I cannot shake this feeling that I simply don't want to go on anymore. This girl meant a lot to me and the idea that she would leave me for someone else makes me feel like I'm a worthless piece of shit and I deserve to die. I haven't cried in a while but sometimes I'll just sink into a pit of despair and I need to disappear for a while. Like right now, I legitimately wish I could die in an instant and get a do-over. I've never let someone get to me like this, so what gives?
What should I do? I really do need advice.
>>16473917
Let her go. Nothing much you can do, you just have to live with it.
>>16473923
Obviously, I'm trying to do that. It's been months now.
>>16473917
Been through a similar boat except after 2 years ex got in touch with me and it fucked my shit hard. You've got to learn to be happy with yourself and your friends and family around you if you constantly just feel negative and depressed about this life and opportunities will pass by that you could've taken. Don't pass up on chances to find an even better girl in the future. Cultivate your interests and hobbies go to the gym(helps a ton) make yourself into who you want to be and be happy independently of anyone else's approval. Be happy to be you, be confident and strive for excellence in all things you do and someday someone will be attracted to that and you might just find the perfect qt3.14
Hey docfags or nursefags, I was wondering, does this third degree burn look like it might be getting infected? Also, what's the best way to disinfect/clean this kind of burn wound? Do I rip off the skin that's potentially infected, then clean? Do I wrap it, or leave it out to let it 'breathe'?
Peroxide on it multiple times a day. Let it breathe but cover it if you gotta work with your hands.
>>16473932
How about any antibiotics of sorts? Also, non-stick bandages should work fine, correct? And should I give the peroxide time to dry before bandaging it or should I put the bandage on there while the peroxide is still working it's foaming magic?
>>16473932
Peroxide's effectiveness has been heavily called into question lately. Its supposed antibacterial properties have not lived up to their name, showing that it was usually ineffective at reducing bacteria at the site.
OP, get silver sulfadiazine cream, you should be able to find it in a decent drug store. It's used heavily to treat burns of second degree or worse. I recently had to go to a burn ward and the silver cream is what they used.
The advice about letting it breathe but covering if working is sound, though. Listen to that.
I think I legitimately might have an intellectual disability
>didn't learn proper hygiene until about 17 years old
>wasn't able to communicate very well until about 17-18 years old. could speak, just not very well. too much going on inside my head.
>needed help keeping up with homework
>had to quit my recent office job because I just couldn't do it
>don't think ahead at all and have trouble planning/getting things done
>forget to do my laundry all the time
>poor social skills, including eye contact and keeping my voice at a normal volume, inability to make lasting connections
>not in touch with the world enough to do well in school and know what the hell is going on
however, this is what makes me question that
>can write graduate-level papers while being a freshman in college
>always think of weird ways of thinking of things which makes me fail my tests because I can't memorize the shit so I overthink it to make up for my lack of concrete knowledge
>high level of abstract/imaginative thinking
>built a desktop computer from scratch in a little under two weeks (not consecutively, but that's the amount of time I dedicated to research and construction).
What the hell is wrong with me and why am I such a failure in life?
I'd never taken an administered IQ test. I've taken a few online and got 132 but those online tests are mostly bs.
>>16473915
You're on 4chan, so 90% chance you have Asperger's/autism.
Look it up.
>>16473930
you think it's autism? what if I'm a low iq aspie ;_;
>>16473915
You do not have an intellectyal disability if you can write graduate-level papers as a frosh. It IS possible that you might have a developmental delay of some other kind, but there is nothing wrong with your intellect.
You will need to get some psychological testing done to be sure. Fortunately, you are in college; toue campus hea;th center's psychological staff may be able to do this for you. Even if they cannot, psychology students are always looking for people to practice administering the test on.
Hi, anons!
I'm a 20y/o femanon and my boyfriend of 5 months is 24y/o. We are radically different people:
Me:
>introvert who likes to spend time at home alone (go out with maybe 2 friends 3 times a month watching movies, etc)
>have only 2 people I really consider friends and a handful of other aquaintances
>am deeply nerdy and intellectual
>am not close with my family at all so I have no family life
>poor immigrant family
>spend most of my time at work/school/home
>quiet
My boyfriend:
>is extremely extroverted and outgoing
>confident and assertive
>has a lot of friends who he spends time with
>is the opposite of nerdy
>has a very active social media life
>comes from a white middle-class family
>is really close with his family
He is very loving and caring. He tells me he appreciates me, but we've only been dating for 5 months so we are still in our honeymood phase.
He goes out to drink at bars and at parties without me (I live in the US, I can't drink yet). His facebook is filled with pictures of him and friends. It sounds terrible but I honestly feel so worthless whenever he tells me he's out drinking with his friends and I'm just home on my computer. He will ask me if I'm doing anything fun for the weekend and I tell him that I'll be home, usually. My facebook is pretty much unused. He wants to meet my family but I'm not even close to them. It would be uncomfortable as it is having dinner with them without my boyfriend. My friends are really different from him. We don't party and are pretty mellow. I feel like I can't offer him anything other than myself.
We are just dating and get along well, but when it comes to meeting friends and family, I just DREAD it.
The thing is that I'm happy with the way I am, the nerdy parts and all. It's just that I feel worthless when I compare my social life to his. Has anyone ever experienced this? It's giving me so much stress. I am also inexperienced in dating, having only dated someone else for 7months before him. Thanks!
>>16473727
Did you stop for a second to think that there's a reason why he's with you? Why do you have to complicate things? Why are you making a problem where there is none?
Women, I swear to God
>>16473727
>I feel like I can't offer him anything other than myself.
Yourself IS all you have to offer, it's all anyone has to offer, and that's wonderful! He's with YOU because YOU is what he wants.
>>16473758
I can control my actions (I'm very sweet to him and I haven't told him that this has been bothering me) but I can't control my emotions. Do you think I choose to feel this way?
This has been really stressing me out lately. What can I do to stop feeling this way?
If alumni won't respond to your inquiries for coffee/phone interviews; what's the chances of total strangers responding?
I'm getting a feeling alumni don't help anyone in my university, which is why everyone is so lost. I'm about to go on a limb and contact fucking strangers of all people for coffee meetings
So what do you think? Before you ask, I've followed up 3 times per person; total of 4 people I've contacted so far and all of them didn't respond.
Wall Street oasis recommends to hit up as many people as you can even if you're not part of the same university. Has that ever worked for anyone?
>>16473619
What are you looking for, job prospects or a dick to suck? Only some schools are good with alums, most people don't rely on alums for jobs.
>>16473636
>What are you looking for, job prospects or a dick to suck? Only some schools are good with alums, most people don't rely on alums for jobs.
Good job prospects obviously. I've been told time after time again by my professor that sending resumes through the black hole of doom and recruiters that don't know shit won't get me anywhere, and that I have to network. I'm graduating in 3 months and don't have a job; I'm currently working a dead end one just for money in retail.
I don't know where you got the idea that most people don't rely on alums. Assuming this is true and only some schools can pull it off, my only real option is contacting strangers that I can connect with on some level and developing rapport, right?
How often do strangers receive cold emails and respond to students?
>>16473649
What kind of field are you in that you are relying on alums? It's ridiculous. You think if you want to work for a large corporate they give a shit what school you went to? THEY FUCKING HIRE PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.
I'm facing an existential crisis, /adv/. Why am I here? I mean, I understand how biologically we came to be, but what about ME, as in the consciousness? Isn't it absurd that I am fully self aware now, but in the future, I'll die and lose it all? Maybe, but it's certainly depressing as hell. I can't even call it depressing, because objectively, feelings don't matter since we'll all die anyway. The only reason I'm asking for advice is that I remember being happy at one point. I want to be distracted from the whole scary concept of mortality, preferably without hard drugs or alcohol. What do?
maybe this point of view will help you a little bit:
people say that we are our brain, and that if we could somehow recreated our body the same way it is, we would regain life/consciousness
suppose that time and the universe is going to be infinite, that means that the future possibilities are infinite too
that means that by chance, in the future someone will be born with the exact characteristics that we have
would this person be us or someone else? what are we exactly? can we ever experience something other than being alive?
>>16473628
That's interesting and all, but nonetheless, I know I exist (as my consciousness). I also know that as I am know with MY consciousness, nothing else will ever be ME in (for lack of a better term) conscious identity. I'm done.
>>16473617
That's why religions have the concept of an afterlife, so our consciousness will live on.
Suffice it to say that parts of who you are will remain, parts will die when you do. It's something every living thing goes through in the bargain we got offered (life).
So, I've been texting with this girl that I haven't seen since middle school, things were going well and she showed hints of attraction (she even told me that she had a crush on me back then).
Last week we met at her house and had a drink and all that, everything was going ok but nothing happened and we kept texting eachother until two days ago when she just stopped with her messages (she was the one that started the convo most of the time) and everytime we actually have a conversation she stops answering after an hour or so and changes subject everytime I talk about meeting again.
Yesterday I asked her about what was going on and she just told me that she was busy with stuff from college but I don't think that's what's happening.
Did I fuck up /adv/? Sorry for the bad english.
Pic related.
it looks like you fucked up by not making a move early enough
yes, she might be truly busy about the college stuff, but when people are truly interested they will find time one way or another
i'm no relationship expert, but people say that being clingy usually kills the attraction
>>16473556
That's what I was thinking, but the thing that really bugs me is that we kept talking normally after that (we met on wednesday) but then on sunday BOOM nothing.
Also, I forgot to say but she keeps throwing hints whenever I talk to her.
Is there something that I can do about this? I really like this grill.
