Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2069. page
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okay My Brethren. I need some advise. don't really know where to start so here we go..
>be me, 19
>from the looks though, could pass as 15 or 16
>drop acid one day
>sitting at picnic tables in my complex
>some old dude comes up to bum a fag
>start talking
>seems like an ightt guy
>"well anon, nice meeting you. if you ever want to stop by, that's my unit"
>"uhh yeah, thanks"
>I'm high so I kinda forget it
>later that night he shows up at my door
>answer the door in my shirt and boxers
>"hey anon, looking cute"
>shake it off with awkward laugh
>gives me a cig to return mine
>couple days later, today actually
>waiting for my girlfriend to pick me up in the parking lot
>old dude comes up
>we talk a bit
>he's getting kinda close
>whyishegettingsoclose.gov
>"serious anon, let's hang out"
>grabs my dick through my pants as he finishes talking
>I kinda awkwardly laugh it off saying thanks
>continues to walk his dog and leaves
so what do I do? I see this fucker at least once a day. I need advise guys
pic related: it's me
Shoot him with a staple gun next time you see him.
>>16557293
poorfag here. don't own a staple gun
Sounds like little OP has some cock cravings
>"But I care about my gf!! :^("
There's your answer
>"I'm a gay/bisexualfag and I want cock!"
Go for it, but your gf goes bye-bye. Always. Keeping it a secret rarely ends well.
>"I just want him to go away!"
Tell him you're not interested, and buy a staple gun and shoot that knee grow in the cock.
Lately, I keep getting intrusive thoughts/flashbacks to high school when I was bullied. It wasn't frequent, but horrible when it happened. Things like, an entire algebra classroom discussing how 'ugly' I was/am, or having someone videotape me with their smartphone. How do I get rid of these thoughts? They make me extremely depressed and sad.
>>16557286
Grow some balls and make something out of your life
Bonus points for posting face
Kill yourself. It worked for me.
>>16557329
Lol.
>implying intrusive thoughts = weakness
So I'm a 21 male virgin and I want to establish my sexual identity. Long story short, I was a fairly attractive young guy at 16-17, set to lose my virginity to my high school girlfriend, but she committed suicide and it ruined me in every way. I'm beyond it almost entirely, but I've missed out on a lot of social and emotional experiences the last few years.
I'd try to have casual sex with girls at my college like a normal person, but I've become unattractive. I'm a 5-7 depending on whom you ask, but I have scars and a skin condition that...
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Every guy I know who resorted to escorts out of insecurity/shyness had a bad first experience.
Ironically escorts are much better if you're a confident, normal guy just looking to have some quick fun.
I'd suggest self-development and finding a girlfriend to have sex with.
>>16557215
I feel my expectations are unrealistic for actually interacting with girls sexually. I want what I could have had before, but right now I'm abnormal sexually and physically, with scars and skin conditions.
>>16557202
You'll feel absolutely terrible afterwards. Don't do it. It's not worth it.
So I just got over a 3 year relationship and me and my friends starting going to some strip clubs now that I'm single. Tonight I couldn't get anyone to go with, so I went to a new one by myself.
I got caught up in the heat of the moment and fucked a stripper in the champagne room. How fucked am I concerning STIs? She used a condom.
>>16557147
How much did it cost?
>>16557150
300.
Some backstory, I literally never did this before. Just came out of the bathroom and one of the hottest ones there catches me on the way back to the stage. A little talking and I got a lap dance from her, then she tells me we should do the champagne room for more fun, no cameras in there.. etc etc. So I being an idiot and coming off 6 months of no sex I went for it.
Honestly feel disgusted I did it.
I'm taking the ACT test tomorrow morning, any advice or tips? Didn't study at all.
It doesn't matter if you studied, if you are smart you will do well.
Don't fuck it up, as my father would say
1.Its been proven that picking one letter and sticking to it will increase your chances of getting an answer right vs. Choosing any letter randomly, or "Christmas treeing."
2. Bring a stopwatch, when there is one minute left pick your one letter and go with it for the rest of the answers. The ACT does not take off for wrong answers, so putting anything will at least give you a chance at it being right.
3. The math section is structured from easiest to hardest questions, with the last 15-20 of the 60 question test being algebra 2 and trigonometry. The...
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How is someone supposed to be good at sex for their future partner when it's something you can't practice alone?
Should I just hire escorts?
By learning through practice with that future partner. "Good" is relative to each individual person's preferences anyway.
>>16557118
This. The learning process is part of the bonding process.
Learn basic facts about the gender you're interested in and what works in general for them.
Learn the same things about yourself.
When you meet a partner, don't put too much pressure on yourself, start with what you know and be attentive to what that person like. Work from there.
Hey /adv/ I was watching a movie with my girlfriend of 3 months and a scene came up with a black person and she asked if I ever dated a black girl and I said no. Then I asked her if she ever dated a black guy and she said yes. She told me every detail about the 4 guys she's fucked in the past, and she is very nice and honest. I've fucked many girls. She said she dated the black guy and never fucked him. Should I call her out for it or tell her about the sexy filipina girl I've fucked? What should I do?
I'm not entirely sure what the problem is?
instead of answering her straight way you could have asked back why she was asking that question
now it's too late, just forget about it
I suggest suggesting a threesome with the sexy Filipina.
I am considering going into a strip club for the first time. I am 25. I am scared to go because I fear seeing people I know there who will slander my name or some shit. OR what if I see a girl there that I know. Holy SHIT that is awkward.
Someone give me the skinny on strip clubs and strip club etiquette. Someone told me you don't even get to touch the girls so whats the point?
Also, what is sex like? I was considering sleeping with a stripper but I am probably not going to do it. Too scary. But what does it feel like? I can't even fathom the sensation.
sex: like beating off with a jelly sandwich or just taking a jar of viscous honey and putting some pebbles in it for texture
strip clubs: can be fun if you have friends with you, awkward if you try to enjoy it too much or go alone.
>>16557062
pebbles? IN HONEY?! Sounds strange.
Does the sex actually feel good. Also, how important is penis size? I fear about my penis size primarily because I am not massive and I think I would like doggy style but apparently a girls ass can get in the way.
Also, what is the difference in sensation IF you use a condom?
>>16557059
>I am scared to go because I fear seeing people I know there who will slander my name or some shit.
They can't slander your name without admitting that they were there too.
Just fingered my first girl /b/
She smelled horrid and the stench is still on my finger. Im drowning my hand in fanta to kill the smell but it wont go away. Can anyone help? About to but alcohol and dowse my hand in that. Got some blood as well...
About to pick up mom and anything would help.
> 19
> first time
But the real postibg reason is, I want to know.
Whats so great about sex?
I didn't put it in, she was ashamed of smell and stopped me, but I ate her out for a while and I just couldn't get in the mood. Also because, I know keep saying it but it is and was horrible, the smell stopped me. But holding her on a couch was uncomfortable.
Did I have a bad experience ot is sex over rated?
And legit question, do yall think it was because Im not attracted to her/love her?
Just wanted to get it over with
Tl ; dr
> sex advice for first timers
Sounds like a bad experience
It shouldn't smell like that
Perhaps have her shower first
Yes sex is overrated
as for the stench, lmfao thats just her. Maybe she shouldve showered first
>carsex
>fanta within reach
>being super gay
I don't even know where to start
So i told the girl i like at work that i'm going out to the bars both nights this weekend with my friend.
She said okay. she's going out tonight with her roommate, and told me to text her later. Cool.
Issue is i text my friend, I didn't tell him any of this, i don't know him THAT well and he has laringytis.
What are my options here? Did I screw up?
I figure i have to wait to see if she texts me now, and tell her that he has laringytis, and see if she invites me out anyway? Or just text her and see where she is going.
Or...
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Just tell her he got the ills and offer to still go. Pretty simple.
Don't go, don't text her.
Wait and see if she texts you, or if she mentions you weren't there
>>16556753
Don't lie, dude.
Just do what you said: you're going out with your friend to the bars.
Then do like she said: text her later tonight.
Not that tough.
What do you think it takes for a marriage to last?
Two people who want to be married to each other
>>16556743
Pretty much this. Love can't be forced on anyone. Infatuation fades away, the honeymoon period will always be over. There must be will in both people to value the relationship and stick together even through a lot of shit.
What is needed for this is willpower and honesty.
>>16556726
>marriage in the year 2015
men have not incentive for that shit and it only benefits women. marriage is a financial security for women and prenups have as much value as toilet paper.
2mins before my shift ends at work, I hit pic related with a pallet I was carrying via forklift. It broke and layed on the floor. Now I have to submit a written statement and drug test. I smoked marijuana Wednesday and last sunday. Advice for pissing clean?
TL;DR Advice for passing a drug test
with 2 days since last marijuana use.
you gonna fail son.
>>16556651
Let me also add to the fact that the first time I went for a preliminary drug test for the job, the nurses did not accompany me in the bathroom nor patted me down.
Self bump because HALP
Girl that I consider just a friend asked me to hang out one on one. I'm currently in my first relationship. Am I supposed to ask my gf if its cool with her first?
Bring you phone and go. Unless you GF would expect you to tell her then tell her.
>>16556300
nope. don't be her pet. if you want to hang out with this girl, but try to subtly lay down the law. just talk about your girlfriend a lot. even make that an excuse when you are hanging with this friend one on one be like 'meeting my girlfriend for dinner after this'.
she'll feel awkward but get the idea, and the relationship between you two will begin to define itself.
that being said tryt to bring it up casually to your girlfriend.
'oh what are you up to today? oh...
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>>16556300
Weird that you have to ask, is she particularly controlling or something?
Just hanging out is no big deal at all, I wouldn't bother telling her. It's not like you're going camping just the two of you or anything.
If it still bothers you, just mention that you're going to her, but don't ask for permission, that's just lame.
So like a lot of people here, I deal with bouts of depression. My current bout is lasting longer than normal and my normal strategies for getting out of it aren't working. I'm gonna try binging some TV show or book series or something next.
What movie/tv show/book series should I binge on, /adv/? Preferably nothing too heavy, but if you think it's worth it I might give it a go.
Fairy tail has a healthy ammount of up and down. It may be extreme if you get involved, but you need something healthy to help you cry and be happy.
>>16556116
I have had this show suggested to me before. It sounds like it might be time to sit down with it.
Any others?
Madoka Magica.
How do I make a long distance relationship last?
We knew each other for a long time before become long distance and will be with each other physically again in a few months.
It's hard.
>>16555887
I knew my ldr gf for years before we had to part ways. We communicate a lot (cellphone, Skype, email) and every few months visit each other. It's hard sometimes, but when your with them it makes it much better.
>>16555916
We Skype about 4 hours a day, text the rest of the time. Been doing this for about 5 months, 5 more to go. I miss her.
